20th update for this story, and I gotta say that I never thought that I would get 20 chapters in for this. When I first started writing I figured I'd go maybe 10 chapters, and 20 tops only if I went for a crazy amount, but eh look where we are. I hope it doesn't feel like this story is dragging on, you know since pretty much nothing happens, and yeah I appreciate you guys for being here and reading.

About the nothing happening though...I guess that's the point of this story maybe? It's just them living their lives. When it comes down to it, I'm glad that I didn't go any other direction with it.

Disclaimer: Don't own digimon. I know that this type of story is one that they would never touch or even get near to. I guess that's why fan fiction exists.

"What's it like to be with a woman?"

He had almost fallen asleep, but when he heard Taichi speak out of nowhere, Yamato lazily rolled over in their bed to look at him. It was an odd question, a random one at that, and as he stared at the wild-haired young man beside him, he knew that it was something that was bothering him.

Truthfully, sex with a woman had its differences when compared to being intimate with a man, but as Yamato looked on at Taichi he had a small feeling that this was something about more than just sex, lovemaking, or downright fucking. It was a spark in his eye, something Yamato almost missed in the darkness of their room, but what Taichi was asking had nothing to do with physicality. Yamato could see that clearly; no, he was asking about something else. He was asking about love.

"It's," his eyelids shut for a moment what with him being extremely tired, but he forced himself himself awake knowing that this was important. He wasn't sure with how to go about it since he knew that Taichi struggled with who he was on a regular basis, and if there was one thing that Yamato would never want to do, it would be to make that struggle any more difficult than it had to be, "different than being with a man. Why?"

In the darkness of their room, in the darkness of the Japan night, he could that struggle going on in Taichi's eyes. Yamato could see that there was a part of him that just wanted to be happy, even if that meant being in a relationship that society wouldn't approve of, and yet he could also see that a part of him wanted to be accepted; to be normal. Maybe it was just his imagination, he was tired after all, but deep down Yamato knew the facts. There were things that he could see raging in Taichi's eyes, dreams and aspirations, that he knew that were they to remain together, that Taichi would never have. A blood child, a proper family, a country that would accept him; if the two of them kept going down the same road that they were on, then Taichi would never know what these things were.

"I've always wondered."

Despite them being in the dark, despite Yamato wanting to shudder at those words, he stayed quiet all the while hiding what he truly thought. Was this the night he had hoped would never come? Was this how Taichi would tell him that what they had, whatever the fuck it was, was over?

"Is it something that you want to try?"

There was silence in the room, and both men just stared at each other, regardless of the fact that they couldn't really see anything. For Yamato at least it wasn't about seeing Taichi; just knowing that he was there was enough.

"No."

It was what he wanted to hear, but not how he wanted to hear it. What Yamato heard was quiet, a whimper almost, as if that wasn't the answer that Taichi wanted to say. Even though he would never admit it Yamato would have preferred to hear a happy no, just so that he would know that Taichi still didn't regret what he had started with him.

"You sound disappointed."

The silence was all the more noticeable without anything for Yamato to set his eyes on. It seemed so permanent, and yet he knew that with one random shout that the silence would no longer exist. It was a thought that he had, but silence reminded him of love.

"Why don't I want that?"

He wondered, how many other people asked themselves that same question? How many people hated themselves for not being able to want what they were supposed to?

"I don't know."

Silence. It was something that he usually wanted, something that would have normally seemed natural to him, but this silence was different. To him this silence seemed like a wall between him and Taichi. Something that the dark seem blacker than it really was.

"Yamato?"

"Yeah?"

He had no idea what Taichi wanted to say to him, and yet he had terrible feeling inside him. Maybe it was on account of all the terrible things that he had been thinking? Or maybe this was it? Maybe Taichi was finally done?

"I love you."

I feel like it's a short chapter don't you? Yeah, I think so. Well it was a fast update so I say that makes up for it a little bit don't you think?

Anyways I'm tired, so I'm just going to upload this and go to sleep.

Oh, and if any of you have ever heard of Cracked the website, I'm in the middle of writing an article for it so hell yeah people.