Taking the Fall
Chapter Nineteen: My Confession
I'm lookin' back on the things I've done
I was tryin' to be someone
I played my part, kept you in the dark
Now let me show you the shape of my heart
- Backstreet Boys
(Shape of My Heart)
He hadn't expected to see her tonight. He hadn't actually expected to see her ever again, but looking at her now he felt something pull in his heart. It was like the way he felt when he saw Sawyer laugh or smile, but different somehow. Under that feeling there was a low heat, fueling to the desire he had for her. He could not deny that he was attracted to her, but that wasn't the problem. The problem was that she hated every inch of him and wanted to put him through a a wood chipper.
But from his place on the field he could see her perfectly, in the middle of the pyramid, her lips twisted into what he was sure was a fake smile. It made him sad to think that it was just a front. Pretending to be a cheerleader when your life was in ruins. He wished she were happy, than maybe he'd be able to live with himself. He didn't understand it very well. He felt guilt for something he hadn't even done. He felt Vince's guilt, when he should have felt pride and dignity for pulling Grant out of the water. Now he just felt stupid, for letting it go on.
He was itching to talk to her. His father had told him surprising news this morning. Apparently Cammie's lawyer had called and killed the lawsuit. Zach didn't understand it. He was sure that she was going to go through with it, for Grant's sake. But obviously something had changed. He just wasn't sure what.
His eyes drifted over the other cheerleaders and found Adelaide glaring straight at him from the bottom of the pyramid. She was much too tall to be anything but a base. He was sure she'd seen him looking at Cammie with wanderlust.
Zach almost laughed to himself. Adelaide was so sure she had him wrapped around her finger. She didn't know the half of it. He almost felt bad about it, but then he remembered the things she'd said and attempted to do to Cammie, and his remorse disappeared. Adelaide didn't know it, but she was only a place holder. And they had had a connection that day by the river but Zach wouldn't call it love, or even anything close. Adelaide was too manipulative for Zach to ever rekindle a real relationship with her. But he guessed he'd keep her around, until someone better came along.
"Zach," Drew Callahan snapped, digging his elbow into Zach's side.
Zach drew his eyes away from the cheerleaders and towards his teammate. Recently, his teammates had finally gone back to treating him like he was used to being treated. That was the great thing about being a guy— they didn't hold grudges for a long time. Eventually everything blew over and things got back to normal.
"Yeah?"
"You're up," he said, then sticking his mouth guard in and jogging to his place on the field.
Zach smiled to him, flexing his fingers before putting on his helmet. He was back on the field, right where he should be.
His eyes drifted over to Vince, who sat on the bench. He was no longer first string receiver. That spot had been given to Matthew when they'd shown the coach what a dream team they could be.
The referee handed the center the ball and Zach couldn't wipe the smile off his face if he had tried.
He glanced over at Cammie one last time. "Let's do this."
He hadn't expected anyone to still be there by the time he got out of the locker room. Matthew had gone out with the rest of the team to celebrate their win, but Zach just wasn't feeling it. He felt tired, he had just played his heart out. He wanted to go home and get into bed and sleep. But still, the win gave him a glow on the inside, making everything feel softer and warmer.
He had purposely hung back, taking a long time to shower, just so he wouldn't have to see Adelaide. He knew she'd probably be waiting for him, but she would leave eventually. She would rather go out and celebrate with everyone else than stay back with just him. She would accuse him of being a Debby downer. And he didn't have the energy to deal with her.
Zach pulled at the collar of his shirt as he looked around, noticing the parking lot was next to empty. His car being one of the last ones there. His football bag hung over his shoulder as he walked towards his car, keys in hands.
As he got closer he realized there was a black silhouette leaning against his car, one that looked as though it was wearing a cheerleading skirt. He had thought it was Adelaide at first, but as he got close he realized it was Cammie, her blonde hair looking darker in the dim light.
She gave a small smile when she saw him, something he had not expected. The only time he was this close to her was so that she could yell at him.
"Hey," he said, the confusion in his voice evident, to both of them.
"Hi," she said softly, pushing off the car, and readjusting the strap of her cheer bag.
Zach moved forward to open the truck, unsure of what she was doing there but not wanting to make it awkward by just standing there.
She didn't say anything, even though it was obvious she wanted to.
"Are you here to bite my head off or what?" Zach asked. "Don't make me wait."
She laughed, even though he hadn't said it to be funny.
"No," she said quietly. "That's not why I'm here."
He raised an eyebrow as he pulled the bag off of his shoulder and tossed it into the back of the car.
"Then what can I help you with?"
"I. . ." She started. She glanced around. "Can I have a ride?"
He looked surprised, but held out his hand for her bag. She handed it to him and he tossed it back with his.
"You couldn't find anyone else?" he asked, closing the back of the car.
She looked away from him. "I wanted to talk to you. I didn't realize you would take so long."
He shrugged. "I just wanted to be by myself."
She looked guilty. "Sorry," she said, a bit sheepishly.
"I don't mind," he said. "I was mostly avoiding Adelaide. And as long as you aren't screaming at me I don't really mind your company." He gave her a ghost of a smile, as though he were making a joke this time.
"I thought you got back together with Adelaide?"
"I did," he sighed. "I'm just not sure if it was the right decision."
"I thought she changed," Cammie tried to hide the disdain and sarcasm in her words but failed miserably.
"I'm beginning to think that it was just a lapse in my judgment. She always has a hidden agenda. I'm pretty much waiting for her to screw me over."
"You don't even care that she's probably trying to ruin your life?"
Zach shrugged again, looking at her curiously. Wondering what she was up to. "There's not much left to ruin is there?"
She felt bile rise in the back of her throat. She knew it wasn't her fault. But she still felt responsible for Zach losing everything.
"That isn't true," she said, taking a step towards him without realizing it. "You're back on the team. You have friends again. And the lawsuit—"
"About that," he interrupted. "You want to tell me what your planning now?"
She shook her head, swallowing the bile, pushing her guilt back down. "Nothing. I just stopped thinking like a lunatic."
"Oh?"
"I shouldn't have blamed you for what happened to Grant. I was just angry, and I acted like it wasn't an accident. I should have listened to you when you were trying to tell me the truth."
He stared at her, surprised by her words. Was she serious? How could her mind have changed so quickly?
"What changed?" he asked, the suspicion in his voice obvious.
She smiled softly at him and took another step towards him, and now they were only inches apart.
"I saw you in the park with Sawyer on Christmas morning," she told him. "That's what changed my mind."
He raised his eyebrows. He hadn't seen her there.
"Really? Me teaching my sister how to ride a bike?"
She shook her head. "It was more than that," she explained. "I was treating you like you were some sort of monster. And seeing you with her, it just opened my mind a bit. You can't try and kill people and then treat your sister like that. I mean you love her and you would do anything to protect her. It just wouldn't make sense for you to be able to do something so awful to someone else's sibling."
"But you've seen me with Sawyer before. . ."
"Not like that. And not when you didn't know I was watching. I always assumed you were trying to trick me or something."
He snorted. "I don't blame you. I'm kind of an asshole."
She shrugged. "Only to some people."
"So now what?" he asked, his eyes shining brightly in the dark.
"What do you mean?"
"You don't hate me anymore. Where do we go from here?" he asked.
She looked at him, unable to look away. His eyes were trapping her, making her tilt her head upward towards his lips.
"I. . . I don't know. . ." she answered honestly. She hadn't thought about it much. She wanted him to kiss her. She wanted to feel that amazing feeling she got when he was this close to her. Like somehow, even in her crazy life, there might be somewhere she belonged.
His smile was crooked, which made him look even more perfect.
"Cammie?" he said, his voice coming out in a question.
"Yes?" she asked, her breathing becoming shallower as she gravitated even closer to him.
"Can I kiss you?"
She smiled before weakly nodding her head, wanting nothing more. Zach bent his head down so his lips could meet hers. It was softer than it had been in the locker room. It felt like the two of them were finally coming together, without anger and high emotions forcing them to. It was like destiny, and she finally didn't feel conflicted about kissing him.
She lifted herself onto her tiptoes so she could return the pressure on his lips and bring herself closer to him. His arms wrapped around her back, giving her a safe, comforting feeling. In that moment she knew nothing could go wrong, it was like paradise. Just standing there in his arms.
She pulled back; just to catch her breath, feeling her heart stammer in her chest. His tautly muscled arms held her close, unwilling to let her go too far from him. Her cheeks flushed and there was glow to her that hadn't been there before. She just stared at him, unable to look away. She had a feeling she was falling very hard for him. And whether that was good thing or a bad thing escaped her. She didn't want to imagine him breaking her heart. She never wanted to.
"You shouldn't have let me do that," Zach said to her, his voice quieter than she'd ever heard it.
She raised an eyebrow, a slow, cold feeling creeping up her spine.
"Why is that?"
He grinned at her, making the doubting feeling sink back down. "Adelaide is going to kill you," he whispered in her ear.
She laughed and pulled away from him. "I hate to say it, but you're actually probably right."
"Don't let her scare you," Zach told her. "She's just a bitchy Barbie. Harmless."
She rolled her eyes. "She trying pretty damn hard to make everyone's life hell."
Zach shrugged. "There's always going to be someone right? You just have to pick your battles."
He looked back down at her and suddenly found himself unable to look away. It was like a feeling of gravity, bringing him closer to her. He'd never felt anything like it, and he felt like he was in a chick flick. But the feeling made him undeniable happy, almost giddy, which was a new one for him.
Her blue eyes were filled with unasked questions. But hope and doubt under grew the questions and his eyes just searched hers, knowing she held more answers than she was letting on.
"Zach?" she asked, her voice taking on another tone, curiosity and. . .something else he couldn't place.
"Yes?" he asked, his voice as clear as he'd ever heard it.
"Why do you like me?"
His eyes scrunched up as he analyzed her question. He had no idea why she was asking him that. He could not recall any other girl ever asking something like that. He wasn't sure how to answer. He liked her because of who she was. He didn't know how to put it into words. Maybe it was because he didn't even know what he liked about her, he just knew that he did like her. A lot.
He decided to evade the question. "What do you mean?"
She fought the urge to roll her eyes, feeling the doubt rise back up in her stomach. She tried to push it down. "Everyone thinks you have this unexplainable attraction to me. I want to know what it is."
He grinned at her. "It's unexplainable."
This time she did roll her eyes and slapped him lightly on the chest. "I'm serious."
He shrugged. "So am I."
"So you like me and care about me but you don't know why?"
"Pretty much."
She looked at him as though he was very, very stupid. He felt as though he'd suddenly said something wrong. Something to mess everything up again.
"I. . ." he started again, wanting to fix his mistake, even though he wasn't sure what it was, only that he'd made one. "I really don't know how to put it into words."
Her expression softened. He had not though it would be that easy.
"Try," she prodded.
"How about," he started, coming up with another idea. "You tell me what you like about me, and then maybe I'll be able to say it."
Her eyes narrowed. "No."
"No?"
She shook her head. "No."
"Why?"
"Because you're going to cheat off of me."
"I am not, I just want an example."
"My feelings are not examples Zach."
Why did he have to say such stupid things? What was it about her that made him trip over words and say the wrong thing? He'd never had any trouble in the department of women before.
"That's not what I meant."
She stood there silently.
"I care about you," Zach said. "Like more than I have about anyone, ever. I don't know how to explain it all I want you to know is I will do everything in my control not to hurt you."
She tried to smile at him but he could tell she wanted more. His words obviously didn't mean much to her. He couldn't blame her. He'd been an asshole to everyone, it was reasonable that she was still suspicious of him hurting her.
He bent down and kissed her again, wishing the one kiss could tell her his true intentions. He wanted to be with her. He didn't want to be with Adelaide or anything else. They were just like small candles to her bright, central flame.
"Please trust me," he said quietly to her, squeezing her hands in his.
"I do trust you," she replied, just as quietly. "I just don't know if I'm ready for. . .this."
"Which means?"
He hated it when women talked cryptically.
"You," she said. "A life with Zach Goode. I think I will have to mentally prepare myself for that one."
"Thanks," he said sarcastically, trying not to show how her words had actually hurt him.
"I just mean you're still going out with another girl and yet you are here, kissing me."
He withdrew his arms from her, a response she had anticipated. She took a step away from him.
"Adelaide doesn't mean anything to me," he told her, his eyes turning cold.
She gave a small smile. "I know, but still. I can't date you or whatever if your dating the captain of the bitch squad."
"Aren't you on the bitch squad?"
"Zach," she said seriously, refusing to let him change the subject.
"Fine," he sighed. "I'll break up with her. For you."
The additional words at the end of his sentence and the smile he said them with made her heart glow. She resisted jumping back into his arms. She smiled again.
"Thank you."
Zach bent forward and kissed her on the cheek.
"Come on then," he said, signaling for her to get in the car. She had forgotten about the ride but felt relief knowing she had finally told him how she felt. It finally felt like she was talking to a real person instead of a robot or someone she was blaming for her brother's current state. Zach had brushed of their conversation in a light way to make things easier, for both of them. And she was grateful for that.
The last chapter.
But don't worry, there will be an epilogue.
Shoutouts:
: Of course they will end up together! I don't know why everyone thinks they won't. And thinks you for your lovely review :)
The One You Never Suspected: I know Matty is his own person. He deserves a spotlight of his own. Don't worry, you'll what happens to Grant soon enough. And you will definitely see more of my stories out there. I don't think I'll ever stop writing. Too many ideas!
short and simple: Thank youuuuuuu:)))))) And Grant will be just fine, you'll see. And Vince will be in the epilogue and hopefully you'll be happy with his penance.
Annie: Thank you for understanding. I love it when readers fully get involved and understands characters.
DopplerGirl: Haha, glad I could help :) And thank you for loving my story, its such a great feeling. I know what you mean about boys running fast. I already have a chapter on the new fishtale that relates to that. Hahaha thanks again! Is Vince going to kill himself? I don't know ;)
xiheartyoux: Awww, thanks so much! And you're not a stalker! I totally do that with authors I love as well! Vince will get what he deserves. Thanks!
And to everyone else that read and reviewed thank you so much for your support and encouragement of this whole story. Every review, short or long, meant a whole lot to me. Thank you. :)