Into Emerald Flames
Chapter Twenty: Faith and Hope
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.
Beta read by: SiriusBlackIsAwesome
Sorry I've been gone, I was trying to mull over Chapter 21, but I'm not done with it. Still. So I'll just post this for now.
Hope you like.
I still hear your voice.
I can still feel your touch.
It's hard without you.
I need you by my side.
I need you in my life.
And it still hurts.
-l-Third-l-
Lily walked up the tan, stony stairs, and paused to go to the Hospital Wing. Madame Pomfrey cleaned her up in a second, and gave her a bit of pepper up potion, and ordered some good food. The food wasn't warm, but it was still better than what she usually got to eat.
Lily, who hadn't bathed in three days, and since then, probably in a month, tied her hair back and cleaning her clothes, trying to seem presentable. No spell would hide how tired she looked, or how underfed she seemed, and it was no coincidence that Madame Pomfrey insisted she have a good meal, and Remus too.
Lily was shoveling down stew as fast as she could, without choking, while Remus ate slower, taking time to chew his food. Neither noticed the little girl who approached, her red hair flowing behind her, down her back, wearing a witch's robe, and tilting her head to the side. She had light blue eyes, which turned, blinking at both adults. She showed more interest in Lily, and her blue eyes zeroed in on the woman who looked so similar to her.
" Hello," Remus greeted politely, and the girl jumped, freezing where she stood.
" Hello," she said, waving shyly. " I'm five," she said, a bit prouder.
Remus chuckled. " I'm twenty one."
The little girl gave him an almost critical look. " That's old." Remus laughed, and laughed...so hard that he nearly dropped his tray to the floor, but his quick, werewolf reflexes were fast enough to prevent that.
Lily looked up for the first time, and with a gasp, dropped her spoon, which clattered loudly to the floor. " Faith?"
" I wanted to see you again," Faith said happily. " You came back!"
" I thought that woman took you in," Lily said in disbelief.
Faith shook her head. " Nope. She died."
" She what?" Lily gaped, " But...she was fine!" Indeed, the woman had seemed a little stunned and shaken up, but not so that she would collapse or something.
Faith shrugged. " I heard one of the grown ups say something about shock, and no one else has adopted me, so I'm just here. You know, Minnie isn't that bad."
" McGongall is taking care of you?" Remus asked, half shocked. Not that McGongall was bad, she just never seemed like the type to be mothering. She was awfully strict, and not always the nicest.
Faith nodded. " Well sorta, others do too."
" My name is Remus, and this is Lily," Remus introduced. Lily refused to look at Faith, not wanting more of the memories of the raids she'd gone on, the people she'd murdered.
" Remus," she said, testing the name. " So why are you guys here?"
" We're here to see Dumbledore," Remus explained, without going into details. Lily glanced at him, nearly flinching at the name, but instead stared at her hands. She missed her friend already, and he was probably gone forever. And he had loved her...whereas, though she remembered James, what if he didn't love her anymore? It had been three long years...
For a second, she prayed that he'd moved on. That maybe he hadn't clung to her memory like she did his, now at least. Maybe he had done what was best for himself and moved on with his life. Fallen in love with someone else...but that hurt too. Because now, she could feel the pain of the old love, fresh pain, and it drew her to want him back.
She knew that really, she had no right to think that. Especially since she'd been the one to break up with him. Though really, it seemed like it could be Severus's fault. But blaming him...there we go again, she thought dully. It's not his fault. He was trying to save my life, and I'm kind of glad.
" Are you gonna adopt me?" the little girl asked rather boldly. Her red hair, and her blazing blue eyes reminding Remus strongly of when Lily did that, made a comment, or asked a question, and looked so bold and confident.
" No," Lily answered. " I don't think I can." In truth, maybe she did love the little girl, but the fact remained that she'd been on the raid that made this little girl an orphan. This was how she repaid them? By taking their child as well?
" I know I can do magic, just like all of you. I can see it, and I want it to be part of my life forever," she said, gazing out the window.
" Faith, you belong in the muggle world, for now at least," Remus tried. He knew that young muggles, and muggleborns were vanishing left and right. And Faith was no different.
" You don't belong here yet. It's not just beautiful. It's war, and right now, the Wizarding World is about to tear itself apart," Lily whispered. " I won't adopt you unless it's safe."
Both sides were going at each other. The Light fighting for what was truly right, and the Dark fighting for a insane wizard. One who did great things, Dark, powerful things, but still...great.
Faith turned to Lily, sparing Remus a single glare. " It was your side that killed my mum and dad."
Lily sucked in a sharp breath. " Faith...alright, I'll try my best okay?"
Faith only answered," I just want someone to love me."
Lily could have sworn her heart broke. Remus even turned his head away slightly, frowning. " I do love you Faith. I'll try, I'm going to talk to the Headmaster now," she set her tray down and got up.
Lily and Remus left, after a short goodbye to Faith, who wandered off, exploring another of the many halls in Hogwarts.
" So, how did you meet her?" Remus asked.
" A raid," Lily explained. " I watched them kill her mother, and then I had to save her from being killed."
They were silent for a long time. She'd watched them murder Faith's mother mercifully, and then, they turned their wand on Faith. Ready to kill the little girl who's mother had died to save. She had done nothing. And until they turned, ready to murder the child, she didn't even feel what she was doing. There was no remorse. No pain.
Remus stopped at the gargoyle, glancing at Lily, who frowned as well. " Er...what's the password?"
" Sugar Quills?" Lily suggested.
" Lemon drops?"
" Chocolate frogs?"
" Acid Pops?"
The gargoyle moved aside, and Lily shot Remus a curious look. " Acid Pops?"
Remus shrugged. " Apparently."
They walked up the stairs, and when they opened the heavy wooden door, there was Peter, talking with Dumbledore. He froze, in the middle of a sentence, blue eyes flickering to Remus and then Lily.
" Oh...hello," Lily said, waving slightly, the nervousness evident in her voice.
" Hi," Peter answered first. " Hey, Moony." His eyes flickered between them, and he seemed to become very fearful.
Remus smiled slightly at the old nickname. " Hey Wormy."
" Told you I hated that name," Peter muttered, playing around with his old friend. It was an old joke, between the two friends. The words of Peter's first defiance to the name that he would later acquire and learn to love.
Remus laughed. " I told you not to start it."
The two friends, just teasing each other. It was almost easy to forget where they were. And why. Because Lily had been captured, stolen away for three years, and now they had to undo three year's damage.
Peter was the one who finally broke the moment. " I got another mission, see you later."
Lily watched him go, silently wondering where she'd seen that walk. He walked fast, in a nervous fashion. And she'd seen it before, and could easily imagine a black hood over him. She shook herself. He's not a Death Eater, he's one of the Order, she reminded herself. But he looked the part of a Death Eater. And it fit so well, but only in that one moment, before he vanished down the stairs.
" I found her Professor," Remus said, motioning to Lily.
Dumbledore surveyed Lily through his glasses for a moment. " Miss Evans."
" Good afternoon Headmaster," Lily replied with a strained smile. She still had that fear, and it was shown in the way she turned her head away, avoiding looking at Dumbledore, and she certainly didn't meet his eyes.
" How are you?"
Lily smiled slightly, and shrugged. " Coping I guess."
Dumbledore turned, picking up a quill off his desk and dipping it in ink carefully. " Do you know of the Order of the Phoenix?"
" Er...the Order sir?" Lily asked, brow wrinkling slightly in puzzlement.
" Yes, I am recruiting quite a few fine witches and wizards. I have called on you today to offer you a place in my Order. Given where you have been fighting for the past few years I thought you might not-"
" I'll join," Lily said immediately, cutting Dumbledore off. He looked at her, startled at her sudden response.
" Lily!" Remus exclaimed, giving her a sharp look. " You don't even know what you're signing up for."
Lily shrugged. " I don't care. I know quite a bit actually, and I'm joining. Besides, you're one to talk, considering you've probably already joined."
Remus sighed in defeat, shaking his head slightly.
" Excellent," Dumbledore said, pulling out a roll of parchment, littered with names. He handed her the paper, and the quill. " Sign here."
Lily picked up the quill, and hesitated, before signing her name along with the others. " When is my first mission?"
" Lily!" Remus said, looking purely shocked. " You don't even-"
" What?" Lily asked, innocently. " I want to know."
" Well you'll need a partner. I do have one mission, and the man you're working with will have to be alerted. He will be in disguise hopefully, and you will too. Do you think blonde suits you?"
" Blonde?" Lily asked, winding a lock of her red hair around her finger. " I would rather it be brown."
Dumbledore waved to Remus. " If you will."
Remus sighed, turning to Lily. " Okay, brown it is," and with a wave of his wand, he turned her hair to a dark, chocolate brown. After a bit of thought, he added some highlights and lowlights. " Now...a dress."
" I'll wear one of my own," Lily snapped, not too keen on Remus changing her clothing.
" And one more thing," Dumbledore added, " Did you ever consider adopting Faith?"
Lily turned to face him, pulling her walls close to her by instinct. " It crossed my mind a few times."
" I was wondering if you would."
Lily stood there silently. Adopting Faith would be huge, she glanced at Remus, who didn't speak up. Then at Dumbledore, who was smiling slightly. " I'd like that, if the Ministry would allow a ex-Death Eater to raise a five year old."