A/N: Dear reader, I know you weren't happy with me for making the last chapter so short. But it just didn't go with this one, and I really wanted you to have it. I should have made the scene part of Chapter 18, but alas, it wasn't in the stars (or in my computer). To make up for frustrating you, here's a longer chapter. Sincerely, mjwho. ;)
********Chapter TWENTY*******
The twitter of birds outside wakes Hermione before it's really light. Severus is sleeping across the room, his back to her. Last night comes back to her in a rush, and her whole body flushes. She'd worried that she'd regret their actions in the morning, but her doubt was needless. In fact, she can't help but wonder if he's going to do it again.
Sixty seconds.
A whole minute.
What was that about? Was he worried about getting carried away? Did he really think their relationship that inappropriate?
Hermione sighs, then drags herself out of bed, padding over to the stove to make some tea. She sets the kettle on (rather hard) and then steps outside.
The camp is a mess.
The storm tossed everything about; limbs are down, the table (which they forgot outside) is overturned and sitting against a tree trunk. Everything is wet. And it's cold. Hermione shivers and accios her cloak from inside the tent.
A grunt and muffled curse from within. Hermione goes in to see Severus fighting with her cloak. It's wrapped around his back, dragging him toward the tent door. She must have summoned it just as he was getting up. Hermione stifles her laughter and goes over to help.
The cloak puts up a good fight, thwarting Severus's attempts to step out from around it. It's just gathering up around his neck, as if to escape him by going over his head, when Hermione grabs it. At her touch, it sags down onto the floor.
Severus glares at her. "Of all the . . . Couldn't have looked in before you summoned it, Granger?"
"Sorry," she say and grins. Not too sorry.
He raises an eyebrow.
"We're a little bit even now," she explains, "after that dragon dung potion you made me drink yesterday."
He smirks. "How are you feeling?"
"Ummmm . . . Good. A little bit in shock that it actually happened. And a little weird about it, but in a good way—"
Severus gives her a strange look that interrupts her rambling. Then the corner of his mouth twitches. "I meant your shoulder."
"Oh."
Hermione shivers, remembering why she wanted the cloak in the first place. She avoids Severus's gaze and makes a show of straightening and flipping it around. But he takes the cloak from her hands, and with it her excuse for meeting his eyes. He shakes it out and wraps it around her, his hands brushing her shoulders as he draws it around under her chin.
His hands linger just a moment longer the necessary, and an unasked question hangs between them.
Do we pretend like nothing happened?
They exchange looks, but neither is willing to bring it up, it seems.
Severus lets go. "So your shoulder is better."
"Yes, so much better I forgot I was even injured."
"Obviously," he smirks.
"Thank you again."
"You don't have to keep thanking me."
The kettle's whistling saves the moment from becoming awkward, and Hermione goes to shut it off. A couple of minutes of cleaning up camp, and then they are eating a cold breakfast at the table, stealing glances at each other when they think the other isn't looking.
To distract herself from thinking of the man across from her, Hermione pulls out one of the maps of the dragon preserve.
"Ready?" he asks.
"Yes."
They stand and walk outside of the wards protecting their camp.
"If something happens," Severus says, looking at her, "and we run into who we're looking for, don't hesitate, because they won't."
"Hesitate to do what?"
He sighs. "The fact that you have to ask tells me you're not ready for this."
"Ready? I've spent over a year getting ready for this!"
"Then tell me what you're going to do."
"What I'm going to do?"
"Stop repeating what I say and tell me what you plan on doing when you find a Dark wizard."
Hermione stiffens. "I want to make sure I have the right one."
"The one who killed Weasley."
She frowns, stung a little at his casual mention of Ron. "Yes."
"Assuming you'll be able to determine that, then what?"
"Then . . ."
Severus cocks an eyebrow.
"Then . . ." I'm going to kill him. Hermione shudders. She's never voiced the thoughts aloud, but they've always been with her, ever since she left the Burrow.
Severus is glaring at her. He leans forward, his voice dropping to a dangerous whisper: "If you can't say it, then we might as well go back to camp and pack up. If you can't say it, you can't do it."
It's a challenge. Hermione stares back at him, disbelieving.
He grabs her arm, holding it firmly. And his eyes flash, blacker than she's ever seen them. "Say it."
"I'm going to kill him." The words come out easier than Hermione expected. In a way, she's relieved. But she's also feeling a bit nauseated, like her breakfast is about to make a reappearance.
Still maintaining eye contact, Severus gives a curt nod and says, "Well done."
"You want me to . . . Murder?"
"I want you alive. And myself, for that matter. And I'm not going into an unknown situation where you're not willing to do what's necessary for us to get out in one piece." He grips her arm a bit tighter. "Do you understand?"
He's changed from who he was last night. Severus the man is gone, replaced by Snape the spy.
"Is this what you were like during the War?" she asks in a rush.
He narrows his eyes. "Can't handle it, Granger?"
"I didn't say that."
He releases her.
She straightens her robes and cloak. "Are you still going to help me or have you changed your mind?"
In answer, Severus taps her head with his wand, and the familiar cold trickle of the Disillusionment Charm covers them both. Just before he disappears, Hermione grabs his elbow and turns on her heel.
..
.
..
They land without a sound at the mouth of a shallow cave. It's very obviously empty. Below, the dragon preserve stretches out in a green forested carpet. While they watch, a small(ish) dragon breaks through the tree canopy and whirls into the air.
"Hey," Hermione says.
"Yes?"
"The dragons use these caves, don't they?"
"If we run into one, at least we'll know our wizard isn't there. Just Apparate out again right away."
"Great," she mutters. After their conversation a few minutes ago, her nerves are already on edge. She would rather not worry about dragons, too.
Keeping hold of Severus's arm, Hermione Apparates to the next cave without another word. This one is deeper, and they have to walk into the darkness at the back, hoping the sunshine from behind won't abandon them altogether.
Nothing. It's empty, too. She grips his arm tighter, ready to turn.
"Wait," he says. He removes the Disillusionment Charm on himself (but not Hermione) and walks to the side of the cave, near the stone wall. He kicks around, disturbing the dirt. "Old fire pit."
"How old?"
"Very."
Severus shakes his head and holds out his hand for her to take. She then waits for him to make himself invisible again before Apparating them to the next cave. And the next after that. And the next. The larger caves require they cast Lumos to aid their search. But every one turns up empty.
The experience is surreal. Apparating here and there, invisible, knowing Severus is at her side even though she can't see him. She's not alone, and yet she is. Like the only part of him there with her is his hand holding onto hers.
By mid-afternoon, Hermione's nerves, already fraying, are beginning to unravel. The constant anticipation of finding something, coupled with the disappointment of finding nothing, has taken its toll. More storm clouds gather to the west, blocking out the sunshine and plunging the caves into semidarkness.
"We could use our wands to see the next one," she says, standing at the entrance to the sixth cave. They've just spent an hour exploring it.
"Yes," Severus answers, "But every time we do, we risk another wizard seeing us."
"Ready to go back, then?"
He gives her hand a squeeze. She takes that for assent and Apparates them one more time. They land just outside the camp. With a sigh of relief, they pass through the wards and sink into the chairs as the first rumble of thunder rolls over the valley.
Hermione is too tired to think or feel anything beyond wanting a hot shower. Or better yet, a bath. And indoor plumbing.
Since she doesn't have any of those luxuries, she drags herself out of her chair and goes into the tent, casting a Scourgify over her body before lying down on her bunk. It works to make her clean but does nothing to improve her mood.
She wakes again later in the evening when the first raindrops patter the ten. Severus is already asleep in the opposite bunk. Just having him near is reassuring, she thinks. Hermione closes her eyes again, ready to sleep.
"No," he says.
Her eyes fly open to look at Severus. He's frowning with his eyes closed.
"Don't!" His voice is commanding, even in sleep. A moment later he grimaces and then groans.
His voice changes from confident to fearful: "Please."
"Severus," she says, hoping to wake him.
"Please don't!" His plea is terrible, gut wrenching.
Hermione gets out of bed, thinking only of waking him, to free him from the pain of his dream.
"I can't do it! Why . . . ask . . ."
"Severus!" Hermione walks to his bedside. "You're dreaming. Wake up."
She reaches down to touch his shoulder.
He screams, long and wailing. Hermione jumps back, shocked, but then she gathers her wits and shakes him. Her free hand touches his cheek; it's wet with tears. "No, no, it's only a dream. Wake up! I'm here. Wake up!"
Severus wakes in a fury, his wand in his hand and his feet on the floor before Hermione can blink. She yelps and ducks. "Severus! Don't! It's me!"
He glares down at her, a spell on his lips.
"NO!" she yells.
He brings himself up short, recognition in his eyes. "Hermione?"
She stands up carefully, her eyes on his wand. He looks at it, too, then lowers it.
"Why did you wake me?"
"You . . . You were dreaming."
Severus slumps back down to sit on the bed, swiping at the tears on his face.
"Don't you remember?"
He drops his hand. "I remember," he mumbles. "Sorry I woke you."
She scoffs. "I'm not worried about that."
The last of the light fades from the room as the storm moves overhead. The tent fabric quivers, signaling the disturbance in the air.
Hermione eases down to sit on the bed next to him, her leg brushing his, but that's the only contact she dares. She puts her hands in her lap, waiting on him to say something.
"Go back to bed," he whispers. Even a whisper sounds like a command when it comes from Severus Snape.
She's a little offended, but she doesn't move. "Not yet. Want to talk about it?"
"If I wanted to talk about it, would I have told you to go to bed?"
"No need to get snarky. And yes, you would have."
"Well, I don't want to talk about it."
"Okay."
"Okay."
Hermione wishes she was as accomplished at Legilimency as he. Then she wouldn't have to ask.
"You don't want to see my nightmares, Granger."
She blushes, glad he can't see in the dark. "You know, one day I'm going to really get angry that you take such liberties with my thoughts."
"It's a habit—one I'm not inclined to break. It's saved my life more times than I care to admit."
Severus lights a lantern with his wand. Its glow cheers the room, chasing away nightmares and demons. For now, anyway. He straightens and looks over at her, surprise passing over his face, as if he's just realized she's sitting next to him.
Hermione holds his gaze, silently willing him to remove the awkwardness that's creeping into the tent. She's just about to give up and leave when he reaches over and puts an arm around her shoulder.
"Thank you," he says.
"You're welcome."
Unable to hold his intense gaze anymore, Hermione rests her head on his shoulder. He pulls her tighter against his chest. "Did I scare you?"
"I thought you were going to hex me back to Britain."
"I could have hurt you," he breathes. "If it happens again, don't try to wake me."
"And listen to you scream all night?"
Severus stiffens. "I screamed?"
Hermione summons her courage and puts her hand on his knee. "I couldn't just ignore you. And I wouldn't have even if I could."
"I don't want to be responsible for . . . I just can't, Hermione. Not again."
She looks up at him. He's watching her. She can see him getting ready to shut her out, push her away. "Don't look at me like that. Nothing happened."
"But it could have."
"If I promise to be more careful next time, will you let it go?"
He sighs.
She smiles.
Severus brings a hand up to touch her cheek. "You better go."
She leans into his touch. "If you want me to."
He makes a little sound in his throat, like he's trying not to say something. Then he drops his hand. "Yes," he whispers.
Hermione nods and stands. She can feel his eyes on her as she walks to her bunk, but she doesn't turn around to look at him again before he extinguishes the lamp. She lies down, thinking she won't get much sleep, but her weariness overtakes her and she soon drifts off.
..
.
..
Severus wakes screaming again. This time the shrieks are accompanied by deep gasps, like he's having trouble breathing.
Hermione jerks up out of bed, her wand at the ready, thinking they're being attacked. But her lumos only reveals Severus twisting in bed, the blankets tangling themselves around him as he cries and begs for something.
Her lesson from earlier fresh on her mind, Hermione doesn't attempt to wake him. Instead, she crawls onto his bed, on top of the blankets, and wraps an arm around his wiry frame. He continues to jerk and cry out, but she only holds him tighter.
Eventually, Severus stills and his breathing becomes more even. After a moment, she can tell he's awake, but he doesn't speak or try to make her leave.
He shifts around onto his back, and she lays her head on his shoulder, her arm wrapped over his chest. She's pinning him beneath the blankets—he must be uncomfortable. But he doesn't attempt to free his arms or disturb her. And Hermione doesn't move, either, because she doesn't want to ruin the moment.
They fall asleep like that, Hermione draped over Severus's chest, his body tucked under the covers. Neither stirs again until morning.
******End Chapter******
A/N: I struggled with this chapter; maybe it wasn't ready to post but I won't have time to do anything with it for a few days. So I decided to put it up. Perhaps a revising is up for the future when I get this fic finished. This is my first serial, by the way, and while I'm enjoying every minute of it, the post schedule I've been keeping doesn't lend itself much time for editing and revising new chapters. :)