Sorry about the wait, I have been suffering from writers block on this story but I think I might finally have gotten over it. Some good news for all my readers, a little spoiler of such Isabelle will be gone at the end of Chapter 24. I am sure that will make many people happy including myself.

Christmas time at the Shepherd's has arrived. Enjoy!

Chapter 18-Christmas with the Shepherd's

It was Christmas Eve and it had been a few days since the Shepherd's had received the news about Thatcher and Susan Grey. The Shepherds were surprised that Meredith hadn't told the girls the terrible news yet. Since finding out Meredith had been subdued and it was beginning to concern Carolyn, mainly because Meredith had begun to revert back into the shell that she was in when she first arrive in the US and secondly that she was unwilling to share the news with Lexie and Molly.

Meredith made the effort to put on a happy face in front of the girls but when she was alone she couldn't stop the tears and she found herself leaning on Derek more and more as Christmas approached. Apart from Carolyn and Christopher, no one else knew. Meredith had begged them to keep it to themselves until after Christmas; she didn't want anyone else knowing before the girls did. Carolyn and Chris agreed to her wishes even though they were not happy with it. However they had never realised that Meredith had no intention of telling the girls before Christmas.

After the Shepherd's had gone to bed, Meredith went and stood on the porch, wrapped in the blanket she had brought with her from London, it was one of the last things she had from her mother and she couldn't believe that she had to spend Christmas away from mum and dad. She had always looked forward to Christmas simply because it was the only day that her father spent with them all year.

Meredith was so deep in thoughts that she never sensed Derek standing behind her in the doorway watching her until she felt a hand come to rest on her shoulder, causing her to jump and let a little scream come out of her mouth. Derek stepped back and raised his hands, so not to scare her anymore.

"I am sorry...I didn't mean to scare you Meredith" he told her.

"I...sor...I..." Meredith looked down at her feet, feeling the tears spilling down her cheeks.

Derek hated seeing her cry and took a step forward, and placed his fingers under her chin and lifted her head up. His heart broke for her when he saw the pain etched across her face. He pulled her close to him and wrapped her up in his embrace as Meredith let the tears fall, sobbing into shirt. Derek guided her over to the seat on the porch and sat down with Meredith on his lap and held her close. Derek planted little kisses on top of her head and buried his face within her hair.

Derek held her, letting her cry for as long as she needed him. They had no idea how long they were sitting there until Meredith lifted her head and met Derek's cobalt blue eyes. Before she knew what was happening she found herself being drawn into his gaze and she felt Derek's lips touch hers. Without thinking Meredith melted into the kiss and let her tongue slip against Derek's slightly opened mouth. Derek deepened the kiss, and their tongues duelled together until Meredith pulled away only to rest her forehead against his.

"I know. I should be sorry..." Meredith said before Derek placed a finger over her lips to quieten her.

"Please...Mer...Don't. Not tonight" he said, his eyes silently begging her not to say anymore, he couldn't bear to hear her say those words. Meredith nodded and Derek pressed his lips to her's once more, knowing that it was wrong but unable to stop himself.

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The next morning as Meredith came downstairs, she was slightly surprised that they girls were not up yet, but then maybe not as she remember back to the previous evening before her encounter with Derek on the porch, had to rock Molly to sleep as she had been crying out for her parents. Lexie didn't settle either last night; she had insisted on cuddling her and wouldn't let go until she had fallen asleep.

"Morning" Olivia said half asleep to Meredith.

"Merry Christmas Liv."

"Merry Christmas Meredith," Olivia said pouring herself out some fresh orange juice. "No one else up yet" she asked, and Meredith shook her head.

"Well that is not entirely true," Derek said from behind her, Meredith ducked her head, trying not to look at Derek or blush as she thought back to the kisses they had shared on the porch last night.

"Merry Christmas Olivia," Derek said giving his baby sister a hug, before she left the kitchen. Once she left the room, Derek walked over to Meredith and kissed her gently on the head, like he had been doing it all of his life. "Lexie and Molly not..."

"Meri, Meri," they could hear the girls shouting before they ran into the kitchen giving Derek time to get on the other side of the table and away from Meredith and sat down as Lexie and Molly both jumped on to Meredith's lap and planted kisses on each of her cheeks. Meredith was glad that the evidence of tears from the previous night had disappeared.

"When can we open our presents?" Lexie asked her sister, causing Meredith to laugh, which in turn cause Derek to lift his head up, he had never heard Meredith laugh before, at least not properly, and he could not deny the effect it had on him.

"Once everyone has woken up Alexandra, do not be so impatient" Meredith admonished her. "Besides we have to sing hymns first...let me take you both upstairs and get dressed the way our parents expected us too"

"Yes Meredith" Lexie said sounding all grown up as she jumped off Meredith's lap, followed by Molly. Meredith laughed once again and followed her sisters up to their bedroom.

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Watching the girls singing Oh Bethlehem brought tears to Meredith eyes, grateful that the Shepherd's would bring one of their Christmas traditions into their first Christmas away from home. Singing Oh Bethlehem before they would open their Christmas presents was a tradition that Meredith could remember since she was a child, not that she did it anymore, she hadn't since she turned 16. Meredith sat and watched the girls as they opened the presents from their parents which must have been sent before the accident as Meredith liked to call it and couldn't stop the stray tear that fell.

Derek watched Meredith closely knowing how hard this day would be for her and sensing that she was ready to fall apart. He placed a hand on her lower back and it gave her the strength she needed, especially when Lexie handed her a present that read 'from mum and daddy'

"Thank you Lexie" Meredith muttered, taking a deep breath before she ripped open the paper. She couldn't stop the tears from falling as she opened each of the presents her father had sent over, before they died.

Lexie sat on the other side of Meredith, opposite Derek and leant into her sister, while Molly climbed on her lap and rested her head on Meredith chest as Meredith wrapped her arms around both of the girls has she tried to get a grip of her emotions. She was glad when she heard the Shepherd's opening their presents, giving the siblings some privacy, even Derek left her side and she could finally breathe again.

"I love you Meredith," Lexie told her.

"I love you too Lex," Meredith told, giving her a kiss on the head.

"I love you too Meri," Molly piped up from her spot on Meredith's lap.

"I love you too Molly," Meredith told her with a smile; Molly never failed to make her smile no matter how down she felt.

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Christmas dinner was the complete opposite to what Meredith and the girls were used too. It was a noisy affair especially with all the Shepherd siblings, their husbands and their children but it was good for the girls and it helped Meredith to keep her mind off her parents for the day and allowing her to enjoy the day.

Meredith could see how much the girls had enjoyed their Christmas, and when they went to bed that night with a smile on their face, Meredith knew that she made the right choice in not telling the girls yet. She wanted them to stay innocent for as long as possible but in a way she envied Molly, in time she would forget their parents and start calling someone else mummy and daddy, she would likely forget how painful this was and she wished that she and Lexie would be so fortunate as to not know any better.

"Merry Christmas and goodnight girls" she said before closing the door to their bedroom, unable to stop the tears from falling.

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