Disclaimer: I do not own Ah! My Goddess or Monster Musume.

-oOoOoOo-

A slightly zaftig blonde elf dressed in a shirt and sweatpants walked out of a store, staring at her purchase like it was a Holy Treasure.

"Oh, glorious French Fries! How delicious the combination of deep fried potatoes and salt can be! How wonderful this gift from-" The elf uttered as she lifted a fry to her mouth.

Her enjoyment was ruined when she was tackled to the ground, sending her french fries into a mud puddle.

"Nooo…" The elf cried out, tears running out of her eyes as she tried to reach the ruined snack. The person who tackled the elf was still on top of her.

"Alright, you damn copycat! I got you now!" Urd's voice cried out as she lifted the person off the Elf. "Doppel, you read-"

"Please stop assaulting me, Urd! It is me, Belldandy!" Belldandy cried out as she tried to break out of Urd's grasp.

Doppel stopped when she noticed the Elf slowly standing up. The shapeshifter said, "Uh… Urd… I think we need to go-"

"Nonsense. We need to handle this copycat now!" Urd quickly said before an arrow flew between her and Belldandy.

"You scoundrels! You ruined-no, you violated the holiest gift of all!" The elf said, quickly readying another arrow in her bow.

"What gift are you talking about?" Urd asked as she and Belldandy looked towards the elf. Doppel made sure to vanish.

"The one known as French Fries! The ones you made me toss into a puddle!" The Elf growled as she gestured towards the muddied fries. Both goddesses looked at the fries.

"That unhealthy side dish? There's more to a meal than-" Belldandy said until she looked at the Elf's face

Urd looked nonplussed until she too looked back at the elf's face.

The elf's furious face reminded Urd of Skuld, when one of Urd's fire spells had melted one of Skuld's ice creams.

"Belldandy, and that's if you are her…" Urd said as she slowly let go of her target, recalling that even after Skuld used up all her bombs, the Norn of the future was still furious for days.

"Yes, Urd?" Belldandy asked, unable to look away from the angry elf.

"Run!" Urd screamed as she did so. Belldandy ran after Urd, both goddesses barely dodging the flurry of arrows that was sent their way.

"I shall avenge my beloved fries, you scoundrels!" The Elf bellowed.

"Erufuda! Are you cheating on your diet?!" a male voice called out, making the elf freeze in place in panic.

"French Fries don't count as cheating!" The elf cried out.

"Erufuda! Get back here!" The male voice called out, sounding clearly annoyed.

Erufuda looked down and began to stomp away, grumbling, "I will get my revenge on those women for destroying my French Fries."

-o-

Urd and Belldandy had hidden themselves in an alley as they watched the elf walk off into the distance.

"Well… Didn't think that elves would get addicted to French Fries, or them being that skilled with bows and arrows…" Urd said, taking deep breaths now that she was sure that the elf couldn't hear them.

"Yes. Perhaps Lind might find them interesting," Belldandy said.

"Urd! Why did you run by us?" Belldandy's voice called out.

Urd turned towards the one next to her.

"Whoops… Guess you were… right!" The Pseudo-Belldandy said before sucker punching Urd on the chin with a powerful right uppercut. Urd was propelled upwards in an arc and came crashing down into a nearby dumpster. Pseudo-Belldandy regarded her victim with sadness before turning and running off. Moments later, Belldandy and Keiichi came upon the shocking scene.

"Urd, is that you?" Belldandy asked as she and Keiichi warily neared the dumpster.

"Yeah, but keep your distance," Urd's voice said before the lid of the dumpster flew up as it was hit by a bolt of lightning. She then flew out and landed in front of the two. "Ah! That feels better."

"Where's your partner?" demanded Keiichi, brandishing a crowbar. He did not like how Urd, while trying not to, was glaring at Belldandy.

"Right here, gearhead," Doppel replied as she hovered into view. "That's Urd. Trust me on this."

"Where's the fake, then?" Keiichi asked.

"She went thataway!" Doppel answered, using her hair to form a group of hands that pointed where the copycat ran off. Everyone nodded at her before running off.

Taking out a walkie-talkie, Keiichi called into the mike, "Come in, Miia, Centorea, where are you?!"

"The lowly snake wanted to check something out, but t'was merely an abandoned entertainment center," Centorea's voice crackled from the speaker. "Where art thou?"

""If you're by that old arcade, I'm about half a block south of you! Stay there. We'll meet up," Keiichi answered.

When they left the alley, they saw that across the street Centorea and Miia were standing in front of a three-story building that had a sign reading 'GAME'. On the roof, was a large clown statue that had seen better days.

He yelled out, "Did you see anyone run out of this alley?"

"No!" Miia yelled.

"Alright, then. Let's split up. I'll go help the chuckleheads over there search that building, while you three go back and see if we missed the copycat," Urd ordered.

"Alright," Belldandy said with a nod, as did Keiichi. Doppel just looked on with boredom.

After Urd flew across the street, Belldandy, Keiichi, and Doppel went back into the alley. After Urd unlocked the abandoned arcade, she and the two extraspecies entered. A few minutes later, a garbage can in the alley opened up and what looked like Belldandy exited. She looked around for a few moments before altering herself, making herself look more injured. She then began to limp towards the Arcade.

Just as the fake Belldandy was about to enter the Arcade, she heard from the alley, "Hn?"

The fake Belldandy then quickly entered the Arcade and cried out, "Urd! The copycat used my magic voice to command Doppel and Keiichi to think that she is me! They attacked me!"

"Shit…" Doppel grumbled before she ran back to the alley. Once she caught up with Belldandy and Keiichi "We got trouble!"

"What kind of trouble?" Keiichi asked.

"The copycat is really fond of Belldandy's form and is using the wounded gazelle gambit to get Urd to attack all three of us," Doppel answered.

"Oh dear…" Belldandy uttered.

-o-

"If you are Bell, then prove it," Urd said.

"Urd… She's drained more of my power and had gotten Keiichi to kiss her," The fake Belldandy said, tearing up a little. "My body seized up and I fell to the ground. Doppel-san hit me several times with an warhammer formed out of her hair. "

Urd's eye twitched as she muttered, "Is that so…"

"Urd, I know that Belldandy is your sister and the two of you have powers, but caution is needed here!" Centorea quickly said.

"Right, right…" Urd nonchalantly replied. "But seeing even an image of my sister hurt like this…"

The door opened up and Belldandy walked in, followed by Keiichi.

"Doppel saw her leave a garbage can and head here," Keiichi said, staring at the fake Belldandy.

"Keiichi, please fight her spell. I am the real Belldandy," The Fake Belldandy said.

"We've done this song and dance before. Holy wind press!" Belldandy said before she fired off the spell, sending her fake into a wall. After a few moments, the fake fell into a large pile of garbage.

Urd gritted her teeth before she said, "If you are the fake, I'll fry you."

Belldandy looked towards Urd and said, "Urd, is there anything I can do to prove who I am?"

As Keiichi and Centorea slowly neared the fake, Urd said, "Stare me in the eyes."

Belldandy did so. Urd studied Belldandy with a wary eye for a few moments before she said, "You're either Belldandy or a good fake. Were you anyone else, I'd have tied you and her up to have more time."

"We can still do that," Miia said, producing some rope.

"Quiet, you." Urd replied as she turned towards Miia and gave her a karate chop to the head. "We goddesses can split into… Huh…"

Urd looked back at Belldandy, who nodded and split into a small number of Mini-Belldandys. Urd let out a sigh of relief.

"How do we know that the fake can't do that?" Miia asked.

Urd opened her mouth to answer, but was interrupted by Keiichi being flung into her.

"Keiichi! Urd!" Belldandy and Miia exclaimed as they rushed over.

"Foul fiend! How dare you strike my master!?" Centorea exclaimed as she sliced away at an escaping fake Belldandy.

"Eat styrofoam peanuts!" The copycat replied as she tossed a box of the stuff at Centorea, who chopped the box into pieces.

"Gyah!" Centorea cried out as she was covered in styrofoam peanuts. As she wiped them from her face, she growled, "I will slice you into ribbons for that!"

"Try me!" the Copycat said before she vanished behind a corner.

"Centorea, wait!" Belldandy cried out as Centorea ran out of sight.

"Looks like we have to follow her…" Urd grumbled.

"Where's Doppel?" Keiichi asked.

"I thought she was following you?" Belldandy asked as she looked around.

"Great… Now we gotta worry about friendly fire…" Urd grumbled.

"Only because you're a very loud, attention seeking hothead," Doppel said as she walked out from behind a arcade cabinet. She hissed, "Now keep quiet, guard the door, and I'll let you know where and when to attack."

Before anyone could say anything, Doppel vanished from sight.

"I am not a hothead," Urd pouted.

-o-

Doppel did her best to remain as silent as possible. Everytime the copycat looked back, Doppel remained still. If the Copycat began to head backwards, Doppel quickly maneuvered herself out of the way and behind a cabinet, if not on top of one.

"Mistress! Mistress! I'm in trouble!" The copycat hissed near an arcade cabinet as she entered the code.

Covering herself and the walkie-talkie to prevent any sound from being heard, Doppel quickly said, "One of the furthest rooms, hurry. They're trying to do something with one of the machines."

The cabinet turned on, revealing the silhouette of a long-haired woman. They said, "How much trouble?"

"Oh, I'd say big trouble!" Urd loudy said as she and Centorea strode in one door. Belldandy, Keiichi, and Miia came in through the second. Doppel blocked the third and had her hair forming into various claws.

"Surrender and I promise no harm will come to you, my doppelganger" Belldandy said. After Urd coughed, Belldandy said, "Alright, I promise a little harm, if only to prevent Urd from lashing out later."

"Won't promise I won't," Urd muttered. Before the fake Belldandy could respond, Urd flash-stepped and punched away the copycat as she said, "Shoryuken!"

The Fake Belldandy crashed into several arcade cabinets.

"Dopple! No!" The mystery figure cried out. "Urd! I promise you that I will punish you for attacking my-"

"Bored now," Urd replied before one of her hands shot into the screen and grabbed the mystery figure.

"Wait! No! Let me go!" The figure cried out, trying to escape the Norn of the past's grip and failing.

Urd chuckled before she pulled the person out of the screen. Everyone, including Urd, gasped in surprise at who Urd dragged out.

-oOoOoOo-

Notes from HotelKatz :

I'd like to thank Fox Boss for asking the question in his review to my What-if fic that led to the creation of this crossover. I'd like to thank webmonkey44 of the Goddess Relief Office forums for coming up with the title of this fic.

elgordo of the Goddess Relief Office forum was the betareader.

I'd like to thank the folks at the Goddess Relief Office forums for their help with this chapter.

Erufuda comes from a manga titled Elf-san wa Yaserarenai or translated as Elves don't diet. Yes, she is that addicted to French Fries. The manga gives off a few health tips, but I have no idea how good they are.