20 Tuesday - New Year's Eve

In spite of all the things they could have been doing to proceed with their move, the two women lingered in bed the next morning. So wrapped up in one another and being together again that they simply stayed where they were. It felt luxurious to wake, talking, touching, making love then starting all over again.

Eventually they heard the bump of boxes against a wall and the boy's voices as they began packing up their bedrooms as instructed by Caroline the evening before. This only made it cozier to remain marooned on their island bed feeling quite content.

As always when this close to Kate, Caroline's hand rested on the round belly, seeking the movement of tiny limbs. "Have you thought of a name for her?"

"Umm, hmmm."

Caroline looked up to the face so near her own.

Tentatively, "We can talk about other names if you don't like it but in my mind… for some time… I've been calling her Callie." Enlarging on this, "Caroline Kathryn." Seeing tears forming in bright blue eyes, "What do you think?"

Swallowing her tears, "for both of us?"

Smiling, "for both of us."

"Oh Kate. I don't know what to say. You've been thinking of this name all the time we've been… Kate. Why…"

Stroking Caroline's cheek, "you were always on my mind." Seeing Caroline remembering, Kate said tenderly, "I know what I said but I never could stop thinking about you." Thinking back, "I think I told you about the night with your Mum, discussing names for Emily Jane – just after she was born. Celia asked me what I would name a little girl and I had a whole litany of names." Looking rueful, "Then I said, mimicking herself 'it'll all depend on what Caroline thinks.' I embarrassed myself when I realized that I'd revealed we had talked of having a baby." At Caroline's look of sympathy, "but when she became real to me, the only name I could think of was Caroline Kathryn. Somehow Callie just came out of that as I was talking to her."

"It's lovely, I like the alliterative sound." Moving onto an elbow for a better view of Kate, "I'm so glad we've been able to…" Touching a perfect cheek with her fingers, "I want so much to be a part of her life as well as yours," tilting her head, shyly saying the name for the first time, "Callie's life." Swallowing emotion again, "Kate, I do love you. So much. I am so very happy to be here with you. Building a life with you. Raising… Callie with you." Working to regain control, "It is humbling to be this happy. I don't deserve it. I don't deserve you, Kate." By the time she got this out her throat closed and tears rolled.

Kate pulled her in tight, cupping the back of her head tenderly, "I love you, Caroline." Emotions running this high forced them back to touch to convey the depth of their feeling for one another.

Rousing from her drowse, Kate saw that Caroline's focus was on her but with a preoccupied expression. Kate became concerned, "What are you thinking? Caroline?"

"I'm worried about you. About your health and Callie's, keeping you safe." Hesitating, "I know you don't want to talk about this but I'm more afraid not to."

Tenderly, "Dear Heart, I told you yesterday, we can talk about anything." Regarding the long face, "Tell me."

A questioning look, "Dear Heart?"

A little embarrassed Kate tilted her head, "Just one of the corny songs I broke my heart over while we were apart."

Her face regretful, "I broke your heart." Kate's finger over her lips reminding her that they weren't going back there. Her tone sweet, "Seems like I should know that one from way back but…"

"Mancini arrangement, I'll play it for you one day, if you like."

Clearly pleased, "no one has ever had a pet name for me before."

Wonderingly, "Never?" Watching the negative shake of the blond head, "Do you like it?"

"I love it." Swallowing emotion Caroline said softly, "I especially like that you were thinking it… of me… then."

Kate rose on an elbow to place her lips on Caroline's in a delicate kiss. Pulling back to gaze into the face of this woman who had been so starved for love and affection. Thinking of the bleakness she had endured for so many years, of the role that this bleakness had played in their affairs, Kate was moved and dedicated herself to making sure that Caroline knew she was loved and cherished every day from now on. Remembering now that Caroline was worried, Kate prompted softly, "What has you troubled?"

Stroking Kate's shining hair back, "There is so much to do this week, moving both households. I can't be in two places at once and even if I could, at yours there are decisions that only you can make." Swallowing hard, "I want to protect you," fiercely, "I must protect you. This move is meant to get us all into one household to make everything easier on you but if this week puts you at risk then it is all for naught." All at once unsure, "Have we – I… made the right decision?"

Kate was thoughtful as she caressed Caroline's face, considering this, "I don't feel unwell Caroline. I do get tired more easily these days but…" Seeing Caroline's mouth open Kate interrupted herself to add quickly, "I know what the doctor said and I will follow his advice." Her face softening now, "I haven't come this far to get her, our Callie, only to let anything I do-" Kate choked on the thought of anything happening to the baby she had waited for her whole life.

Tears in her eyes, "I know, Kate. I know." Kissing Kate while running a hand over her belly, a smile lightened her expression, "Whoa, she's wound up this morning, isn't she?" Reassured by this adamant life force within Kate, her spirit lifted. "Kate, nothing is going to happen to her, we just won't let it." Making a decision, she pushed Kate away a little to see her face better, "Fair warning, even if you get cross with me, I'm going to do my best to keep you from overdoing this week. No matter how much you want to help."

Kate, her eyes full of love, holding dear the rush she felt at the full force of Caroline's devotion, did not answer but raised her lips to be kissed. Complying tenderly, Caroline's emotions rose to the surface, tears in her eyes she whispered, "Kate, if anything happened to you now, I truly don't know what would become of me. Being here with you, like this is so…" unable to go on, she felt Kate's arms tighten around her.

Whispering, "I know Caroline, I know."

When she could to speak, Caroline shook her head in wonder, her eyes drinking in the miracle of Kate in her arms, "How did we manage to stay apart for six months?"

Looking quizzical for a moment, Kate tried to recall, "I don't know." Considering, "Fear I guess. I was so afraid that you would never love me the way I loved you. You afraid that I would reject you again." Marveling, "but you just kept turning up anyway." Losing herself in brimming pools of blue, "It hardly seems possible now. To be apart. Unthinkable really."

Caroline's eyes on Kate's she breathed in awe, "Kate, I didn't know it was possible to love like this. God help me."

Just before lunch, Caroline's phone pinged an incoming call. "Hi Mum."

"Well, you sound on top of the world this morning."

"Mmmm?" Unable to keep the smile from her face, admitted, "Maybe I am."

Celia, pleased to hear Caroline sounding happy but never one to gush, went on sounding excited, "I'm calling because Gillian wants you all to come over for a party tonight. A New Year's Eve party," she added as if to clear up a mystery.

"Tonight. At the farm?" Thinking of the size of the rooms at the farmhouse, her voice squeaked a little, "All of us?"

"Yes, all the family together again. Raf said he and Laurence and William want to play some game that Raf has and the boys don't. Alan says there are sleeping bags here and they can camp out in the sitting room when they are ready."

"Well, the boys won't mind that but…" Regret and doubt, "I don't think there's room for everyone to stay over there and it is quite a drive back to Harrogate after a New Year's Eve party."

"Couldn't you and Kate book a room at a hotel in Halifax? Come back for the boys in the morning?" Clearly she had been thinking this through before her call and sounded anxious for them to join the group at the farm. Waiting for a reply Celia couldn't resist adding in an accusatory voice as if it were all Caroline's doing, "I haven't seen you for days."

Caroline, recognizing the veiled need but not wanting to commit without thinking it through and suddenly realizing that this was something that she should not decide on her own said, "Mum, can I talk to Kate and ring you back?"

"Talk to…" popped out in her surprise at Caroline consulting with anyone. Then, remembering how she and Alan talked everything over now, "Yes. Yes, you should. Good. Well. I hope you'll be able to be here, I'll look forward to hearing from you soon."

Caroline, realizing something of the thought process her mother had just been through let her gratitude come through her voice, "Thanks Mum. I'll be back to you soon." Bye. Bye, bye.

Coming into the kitchen where Kate was grilling sandwiches for their lunch Caroline found a welcoming smile as Kate turned from the stove, spatula in hand to lean in for a kiss. Glancing at the instrument in Caroline's hand, "Someone's called?"

"Yes, my mother."

"Everything alright?"

Yes," sounding speculative, "she says Gillian is inviting all of us to the farm tonight for a New Year's Eve party."

Taking in Caroline's expression, " Is that not… Don't you want to go?"

"Oh, it isn't that exactly. I guess I hadn't thought much about it being a party night." Shrugging, "We all had a good enough time together here on Christmas. Raf wants the boys to come over." Looking at Kate a little worried, "You haven't been there yet have you? It isn't really what you might call a spacious home." A little admiringly, "Not that that ever stops Gillian, she always seems to be happy to take in everyone no matter how limited her means or amenities. The thing is," hesitating, not wanting to pressure Kate, "Mum seems to have her heart set on all of us coming up there."

"We didn't have any other plans did we?"

Leaning on the island, looking earnestly up at Kate, "That's just it, I don't know what you have planned. We haven't talked that far."

Kate chuckled. "We seem to keep running up against this, don't we? Maybe we should synchronize our diaries so we can become more at ease making plans together." Eyes twinkling, "What do you think?"

Relief and joy shining on her face, Caroline nodded, opening her lips to receive Kate's kiss across the island. Laurence coming through just then, said cheekily in a bored voice, "get a room," as he made his way to the refrigerator.

"No snacking, mister, lunch will be ready in…" Caroline looked at Kate.

"Five minutes."

"Five minutes. Wash up and you can help me set the table."

As Laurence moved to the kitchen sink, William came in, "Did I hear lunch?"

"Yes, you did," laughed Kate. "Can you find a platter for me Will?"

"Gillian has invited us for a New Year's Eve party tonight. Would you boys like to go up to the farm this afternoon?"

Both boys greeted the New Years Eve plan enthusiastically, so after lunch Caroline booked a hotel room for her and Kate before calling Gillian. Thanking her for the invitation Caroline let her know that they would be leaving Harrogate mid-afternoon for Halifax and that she and Kate would be staying the night in the town. Gillian & Caroline agreed on what Caroline and Kate could contribute to the party and promised to be along as soon as they could.

With Kate in Caroline's study, the two compared diaries for the coming weeks. Kate surveying the neatly organized but still bulging office raised eyebrows and inquired where Caroline proposed to go with all of this when they moved into the flat. Looking sheepish, Caroline said, "before you and Callie, I had thought the fourth bedroom, leaving a bedroom for each of the boys. Now, I think maybe we can just put a bed for Will in my study to accommodate him when he is home. Then Laurence and Callie can each have their own room. Do you think William will mind?"

"It has been my observation that Will doesn't mind anything that you suggest. But why don't you ask him? Actually, do you think we could go by The Lion this afternoon to look at the flat with the boys? Then, on the way to Halifax we could all talk logistics and preferences."

Caroline, beaming once again, "Miss McKenzie, I think that is a wonderful idea."

You don't think Mr. Armitage will mind do you?"

"Armitage will be no problem," Caroline assured her. "Right, we had better get our skates on if we are going to The Lion. We all need to pack overnight bags and we have to stop at the market on the way out of town." Pulling Kate to her feet with both hands, Caroline kissed her briskly then turned, leading her by the hand out of the study calling out with authority, "Boys!"

After Caroline and Kate checked into the hotel in Halifax and Will had put their luggage into the room, the Jeep headed on to the farm. Daylight was failing, as the days were short, but the track through the moor was still visible. Pulling into the farmyard Caroline could see, in addition to the Landie and the red Lexis, Robbie's pick-up truck, just as she had suspected. It wasn't that she didn't like Robbie, it was the thought of what might happen between him and Gillian in an unguarded moment that worried her.

Seeing the frown on Caroline's face, Kate inquired, "everything OK?"

Smiling unconvincingly, "Yep. Fine."

The boys piled out as soon as the car stopped moving. Grabbing overnighters and a games gear bag they started off for the house before Caroline called them back to first carry in the groceries and drink she had purchased to contribute to the night's festivities. She knew that Gillian's means were limited even if her generosity was not.

Not allowing Kate to carry even the two light carrier bags that were left in the boot, Caroline kept a hand on Kate's arm as she climbed the steep tilting concrete steps to the garden of the farmhouse. Kate, only beginning to accept that Caroline was going to behave this way whether she liked it or not, couldn't help but feel loved and sheltered by these gestures.

Greetings were warm and loud as they made their way into the house. Moving about inside with such a large family group took some maneuvering but eventually the boys and Ellie settled in front of the wide screen playing the games they enjoyed so much. Kate, not allowed to help with food preparations, sat at the kitchen table with Celia, Alan and Ted who regaled the adults with tales of their week's worth of treks through this area where they had all grown up. Since all three were good storytellers, Robbie and Gillian, working companionably to complete the meal, while Caroline did the washing up, regularly found themselves laughing and exchanging indulgent glances at the antics of their elders.

Everyone had filled a plate with the abundant home cooked holiday meal. Even Raf and Laurence were satisfied after going back for second helpings of their favorites. A loud banging on the outer door rang out above the din of voices. Robbie, looking questioningly at Gillian saw her shrug, "We're all here." Laurence being near the door opened it to find his father standing unsteadily on the step. "Pops, what're you doing here?"

Pushing past his son, John barged into the sitting room. "Ahhh. Heresh my family. I came to the house to wish you all a Happy New Year and no one was home. Reckoned you'd be up here so I came on." William stood in front of his father blocking him from coming further into the room. "Dad, you've been drinking, this is not a good place for you to be when you're drinking. John, grinned and looking around the room at no one in particular said, "My son. Thinks because he has gone off to university he can tell his old Dad what to do." Attempting to push past William, John found himself face to face with Robbie. The last time he had been in this room with Robbie he'd had to pick himself off the floor with a split lip and a shiner which didn't go away for 3 weeks. John was not so drunk that he didn't remember this. Staggering back a step, "You.

Reasonably, "John. Lets go outside."

Scowling, "I'm not going anywhere with you. You'll only punch me again." Gillian guilt on her face gazed into a far upper corner of the room, careful not to look at anyone.

Caroline, now beside Robbie, pushing William behind her and looking sternly at her ex, "John, you didn't drive up here in this condition did you?

Looking into her face with contempt, "Noshing wrong with my condition. Course I drove here. Why not."

As Caroline engaged John in conversation, Robbie had dropped back to call in a report and request a police visit. Completing this call he caught Raf's eye and they each took an arm, escorting John unceremoniously from the house. Will grabbed coats and followed them out. Laurence turned away in disgust taking the stairs two at a time. Caroline, looking helplessly at Kate followed him.

Finding Laurence on the side of Raf's bed, Caroline perched beside him. Not knowing what to say she kept silent for a moment.

"Why does he act like this? He's always spoiling things."

"I don't know Laurence." Slowly, "Not really. It's just that he is disappointed in himself I think. This isn't the life he thought he would be living. His dream was to be a great novelist. It hasn't work out that way exactly."

Looking at her with tears in his eyes, "No, not if he's pissed all the time."

Compassion in her face, "No one starts out that way Laurence. It happens gradually." Resignedly, "I have tried to talk him into getting help but he resists. It must be his choice. No one can do it for him. I'm just sorry he keeps behaving this way in front of you boys. It isn't what I want for you. I am sorry."

"It isn't your fault." Suddenly, Laurence was a boy again, "What's going to happen to him tonight?"

"I'm not sure. Robbie's a policeman, he'll will know how to deal with him. I'd go out if I thought it would help but it would probably only make matters worse."

"Because of you and Kate?"

Considering, "Yes, in part. Also, because its a pattern of behavior. It is time for me to… not be a part of that pattern anymore. In that way it is better that he turned up here rather than at the house. Not only because Robbie's handling this but it's interrupting his pattern. When we move into The Lion there will be someone at the desk to keep him from coming up to the suite. If he shows up there, they'll call the police if necessary."

Watching Laurence process this, Caroline decided to carry the point forward with him. "I know last year you and Angus were having a fascination with drink. I hope you're over that now. Drinking can be an enjoyable part of life but it can also become a substitute for living your life if you aren't careful."

Looking at her thoughtfully in that very direct way that Laurence could, "Is that why you stopped last summer?"

She must teach herself to stop thinking that because he didn't say anything, he didn't notice things. "Yes. After Kate… and I split and I finally got your father out of the house I did continue for a time. It was partly habit and it did help me to forget… things for a while." Meeting his eyes, "One day I realized that it wasn't changing anything and it wasn't helping me to get on with my life and I didn't want my children to have two drunken twats for parents so… I stopped."

"Is that why you haven't been drinking still? Even tonight?"

"Partly. I don't need it. Also, because Kate isn't drinking now she's expecting and I don't plan to drink again until she can as well."

Why are women not supposed to drink if they are going to have a baby?"

Knowing why Laurence is asking, "It can cause problems for the baby, small birth weight, early delivery, other problems."

"Guess that's why Dad has been working so hard to keep Judith from drinking."

"Has he?"

"Yeah. In spite of how he was tonight. I think that's why he's still with her. To protect the baby."

A little surprised, "Good for him. I'm glad. If that's true, I'm proud of him."

Putting an arm around Laurence, "I hope you won't let this ruin your evening." Persuasively, "We can still all have a good time, can't we?"

Laurence smiled a little as she smoothed his hair, "Sure," then more certain, "why not?"

As they came off the stairs, taillights could be seen leaving the farmyard through the picture window of the sitting room. Robbie, Raf and William came in from the cold, stamping their feet clean in the foyer. It was beginning to snow again. Celia, who had remained quiet for an uncharacteristically long time asked, "Where did they cart the drunken twat off to Raf?"

"Mum!"

Raf accustomed to Celia's sharp tongue by now, looked sympathetically at Caroline and Laurence saying quietly, "police are just going to lock him up for the night. If he doesn't cause any trouble, Robbie says they will likely let him go sometime tomorrow."

Robbie looked at Caroline, "What do you think about Will driving his Dad's car over to the station? I'll lead him over and bring him back. That way John will have no reason to come back this way when he is released from custody."

Looking at Will who nodded, Caroline said, "Thank you, Robbie."

Robbie's hand on Will's shoulder the two headed back out the door.

With that everyone began gathering plates and glasses to the kitchen and generally clearing away after the meal, which fortunately had been finished before the interruption.

In the kitchen Caroline told Celia and Alan about accepting the advantageous offer on the house at Conway Drive. The two looked at one another across the table in surprise and some alarm. Seeing this Caroline dropped into the vacant chair beside her mother and said gently, "Mum? It isn't as if the house hasn't been on the market for almost six months." Looking over, "Alan?"

"No, sorry love, it's just, I guess we sort of forgot about it with the wedding and all." Taking Celia's hand he reminded, "We've laid a few plans of our own. Looking at Gillian with a mixture of guilt and defiance on his face he pulled up another chair, "Sit down, lass."

Gillian exchanged a 'what now' look with Caroline before taking the seat at the end of the table between her Dad and Celia.

Celia took up their story gazing adoringly into Alan's face, "Since we've been married now, twice. And never had a honeymoon we've decided to take a tour through the south of France for a few weeks this winter."

Gillian jumped up and burst out at her Dad, "With your heart condition! France! Three weeks!"

Alan firmly pulled her back down and addressed her sternly, "Gillian. We might as well get this straight right now. I do not intend to stop living before I die."

Caroline, watching all three saw that her mother was as afraid for Alan as Gillian but was putting on a brave face for his sake. Celia was hoping against hope that if they just pretended hard enough, her worst fears would not be realized. In an effort to buy time Caroline interjected, "Perhaps we should talk about it."

Alan turned a severe look on her now, "I'm sorry Caroline, there is nothing to talk about this time. It has been decided."

Caroline and Gillian saw defeat in one another's eyes and listened as Alan continued, "This may change our timetable a bit. We'll need to take time to have our things put into storage. When we get back, maybe Gillian will be kind enough to put us up while we look around seriously for a new place."

Gillian, nodding furiously took a hand of each, "Course, a course, you know you are welcome here as long as you like."

Seeing Celia's questioning eyes on her, Caroline gave a small shrug "Doesn't sound like there is much more to be said, does there?"

"Well, you haven't told us where you're going now you've sold the house," Celia challenged.

Caroline rose to stand beside Kate, behind Gillian's chair, wrapping an arm around her waist, "Yesterday we leased a flat in The Lion along The Stray."

"That old wreck! Besides wouldn't anything there be too small for all of you?" Celia protested.

Caroline and Kate took turns telling about the renovated building and the suite that would be theirs by the end of the week. Telling their tale and answering questions they became excited all over again and were happy when Laurence chimed in, enthusiastically telling of the visit made this afternoon to see their new home.

Driving down into Halifax in the early hours of the morning, Kate, leaning against the head-rest said, "that was nice." Making a face, "Well, everything but John turning up. Robbie handled it well though didn't he?"

Caroline smiled and nodded, amused at Kate, talking to keep herself awake.

Playing Trivial Pursuit was fun too. I haven't played that in years. Pretty evenly matched we were. Although, I think Alan and Celia have been reading the answers – they knew some unlikely things don't you think? Good thing they weren't on the same team. Good idea not to let any of the couples on the same team." Watching Caroline from the glow of the dashboard, "You, Laurence and Celia made a good team. Laurence had sport, Celia knew things from long ago and you knew the rest.

Caroline gave her a Dr. Elliot look, "You're just patting me on the head because you, Robbie, Ted and Raf won."

Consolingly, "Well, all three teams were very close, we just happened to get the last piece of the pie first."

Reaching for Kate's hand, and giving her an apologetic smile, "Don't mind me. Sour grapes. You know I hate to lose.

Removing her hand from Caroline's, "you should have two hands on the wheel even if it has stopped snowing." Moving nimble fingers up Caroline's leg, "I can think of a way you could still get a win out of tonight."

Warningly, as she placed Kate's hand back on top of her leg, "you think that's safer than one hand on the wheel?"

"More fun at least," the leer ending in a yawn.

"Ha!" Grinning now, Caroline said tauntingly, "as if your going to stay awake long enough to finish what you're starting."