Note: I decided to work in a bunch of these words. (Not all of them – that would be a very odd story.) See if you can spot them.

Thanks to everyone who reviewed!

T words:

To, the, tenth, there, their, thump, thumb, tower, tumble, towards, turn, tummy, tomb, Tom, tickle, ten, Temperance, told, tell, Tamara Taylor, Tonka, tinker toy, tomboy, Ted, Todd, ton, Timmy, tiny, TJ Thyne, tomorrow, than, then, Tinkerbell, tsk, teehee, Taylor Swift, Taylor Lautner, tip, triangle, temple, timber, timbaland, Tom & Jerry, twelve, thirteen, think, that, tap, ta-ta, trippy, time travel, twist, tangy, teal, tiles, timeless, tinkering, tingling, tinny, trust, trial, Thai, touchdown, tattoo, turtle, TV, tidy, tumble, test, turn, tamper, tantrum, tarantula, tree, t-shirt, t-p, toilet paper, tequila, tootsie rolls, tigers, teamwork, truce, tight, tough, twinkie, twinkle, thanks, teething, tibia, temporal, trapezoid, triquetral, think, tired, trial, tangent, tranquil, tyrant, tinny, tinman, tic tac toe, tea, tan, telephone, tranquilizer, train, tango, titillate, trap, taste, treat, tongue, terminator, titanic, tornado, turbulance

Title: Tea

Disclaimer: I don't own them

Look at her.

Man, she's incredible. Gorgeous and smart and sexy and caring, plus she has this amazing energy and zest for life.

I can't believe I let her go. What was I thinking?

OK, I know what I was thinking – I was thinking that she'd kissed her ex-husband, and she didn't tell me, and that I was jealous. At the time, that seemed like enough. Now, it's obviously inadequate.

I had planned to spend my whole life with this woman. I wanted to marry her. I wanted to worry with her when our son wouldn't stop sucking his thumb when he was four and when our daughter wanted to get a tattoo when she was thirteen. I wanted to watch her rock our teething baby and exchange eye rolls with her when I had to carry our screaming toddler out of a store. I wanted to bring her tea when she was sick. I wanted to be the last person she saw at night and the first person she saw in the morning.

If I'm honest with myself, I still want all of that.

She has moved on, though. She had a relationship with Roxie for a while. That ended, and after a period of celibacy, she's now involved with Wendell.

Wendell!

I mean, Wendell's a good guy. I like him. He works hard, he looks out for his friends, and he's just a decent guy.

I don't want to be petty. I love her – I want her to be happy. If she's happy with him, I should be happy for her, right? Somehow, though, I can't.

I want to move on, but I can't seem to do that either.

That was never more obvious than when we were all trapped in the lab and she thought she was pregnant.

Like I said, Wendell's a good guy, but he's a broke grad student. He's not ready to be a father. I'm pretty sure he'd try, though, and probably throw away his career in the process. Angie wouldn't be able to live with herself if he did that.

That's why I made my offer – I'd be whatever Angie needed me to be. She could move in, we could get married, whatever she wanted. I started to picture that life – me, Angie, and a baby. It was nice.

More than nice, actually. It was like a dream come true.

I don't know if it would have happened. I mean, Angela has always been her own person. For all I know, she would have decided to take her kid and raise her in an artist's commune or something.

Still, I dreamed of us as a family – arguing about who should have replaced the toilet paper roll or whether it was appropriate to keep tarantulas in the house, fighting over the TV remote, gathering around the table to talk about our days, having picnics on the lawn.

When I found out it wouldn't happen – that Angela wasn't pregnant – I mourned the loss of my dream.

I still love her. I don't know how to stop.

I have to figure it out, though.

You see, when I told her I love her, that I wanted to raise her child with her, she didn't say she loved me back. She said that Wendell wasn't the right guy – but she didn't say I was.

I need to stop believing we'll end up together. I need to move on, to find someone who wants to be with me as much as I want to be with her.

The problem is that I have to do that while seeing Angela at work every day.

Look at her, deep in conversation with Dr. B. I wish she smiled like that with me. She doesn't, though. There's a wall between us these days.

Sweets says I need to give it time. I've tried – we broke up over a year ago, after all. I've met women, I've dated, but no one holds a candle to her. Every time she smiles at me or we bond over some bit of evidence, I fall in love with her all over again.

I need to stop – to pull back, get some distance, to find a way to get over her. I don't want to be the pathetic guy who can't move on.

Right now, I feel like the pathetic guy who can't move on.

I need to stop. That'll be my New Year's resolution.

I'll pull back, spend less time hanging out with Angela at work. I'll take a couple of weeks and go on vacation somewhere exotic. I'll get the tattoo removed. I'll go out, meet people, try new things.

Maybe one day, it won't be such an effort.

Maybe one day, I can truly be happy that she's in love with someone else.

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