~~**EPOV
I had followed Bella with an apology on my lips. I knew that I should have listened to her when she told me to release her; it was uncharacteristic for me to force my company on anyone, but…she brought out sides of me that had never existed before. Yet, my apology was postponed by Bella bashing her head against a wall repeatedly. She seemed unphased by the impact or the fact that a small dent was slowly appearing after each rhythmic bash. The protective instinct- that was quickly becoming my dominant instinct-wanted to grab her, enclose her in the security of my arms, and hide her away from all harm- self inflicted or otherwise. But Bella was right, she was not a damsel in distress. She did not need me to save her from herself, nor would she appreciate any attempt to do so.
So, to appease both of us, I simply had pressed my hand in between her and the wall, hoping that the coolness of my skin would free her from her inner demons. It had worked, she froze as soon as her skin hit mine.
She pushed away from me with a sigh. "Sorry, I was trying to wrap my head around keeping you guys alive with the next 24 hours." Without wasting a second or looking directly at me, she turned her back and marched through the house as if on autopilot.
Still a void, Jasper informed me as I followed after her, helplessly. I sighed and leaned against the door frame. Whatever had sent her into that panic attack had truly distorted her mind and emotions. In response, she was withdrawing from us for her own protection. It was frustrating, knowing that her view of self-preservation involved getting as far away from me as she possibly could. Esme sent a tentative smile toward Bella and offered a bowl of soup for her. She and Rosalie had returned at the exact moment that Bella sent Jasper and I flying through the window. Rosalie had marked it off as another reason to despise Bella, while Esme scolded Jasper and I.
"You have to understand, Bella has been alone this entire time. She has probably never relied on anyone, never had an audience to her own panic and weakness. To suddenly have to deal with it now… You both can only imagine how hard that would be for her. It is a delicate transition that cannot be forced."
Bella slurped her soup at the table, her eyes unfocused as they stared at the wall. It made sense, what Esme said, yet I still could not find the will to put any amount of considerable distance between us. The pull that had kept me tethered to her from the very first moment drew me to the table and sat me across from her, the exact positions we were in last night. The burn from that time was nothing more than a raging scar now, and would most likely be gone by tomorrow, yet the memory of the agony was forever burned in my head.
"Most of you are here, so… let's talk." Bella voice was almost robotic, her usual sarcastic and mischievous tone lost along with the life in her eyes. Everyone joined us at the table, sitting in their respective spots. The level of attention was impressive even for vampires standards, all eyes and thoughts were on Bella (except for Rosalie who was half paying mind to the situation and half paying attention to her manicure).
"What are we facing?" Jasper asked, unable to wait any longer. Bella rolled her eyes.
"I told you, just about everyone. But let's focus on demons for now, seeing as they are most likely going to hit us first." She took another spoonful of soup, shivering slightly as the warmth of it filled her. "There are rogue demons and then there are soldiers. Each soldier is designated in an army according to each of the deadly sins."
"Like your mom." Jasper clarified.
"Yep. Good ol' mummy is in control of the entire army of lust. Each army uses tactics that correspond with their sin. Lust and wrath will attack your emotions, your mates, and any unresolved stuff from your past. Envy and pride will attack your ambitions, accomplishments, and status. Gluttony and greed will attack your instincts, for you it will also attack your morals and your diet choice. Each one has their own different tactic, but there is one thing that all demons have in common: they are purely offensive. It isn't hard to banish a demon, break their neck and they puff into oblivion. It's surviving their own attack on you that makes it difficult."
"You forgot Sloth," Rosalie mentioned nonchalantly, blowing on a perfectly painted nail.
"The army of sloth doesn't like to get their hands dirty, they honestly don't care enough to use their own power. So they tend to manipulate and hire outside resources to get the job done."
"You said "banish", don't we want to kill them?" Emmett asked, already feeling pumped up about the upcoming battle. Bella smirked at him.
"You don't have the power to kill anyone of the other world." I beg to differ, Emmett though, flexing his muscles for himself. "When a demon is banished, it's gone from this world for years at least. That's all we can ask for at the moment."
"What you are suggesting is just a plan to postpone more battles. What, we have a few years of reprieve before they come back and fight us again?" Jasper pointed out, exasperated over all of the flaws in her explanation. Sure, we could learn how to fight them, but unless we can kill them there could never be an ultimate end to the war.
"What about God's Hand?" I asked her, recalling the conversation I had overheard yesterday morning. The demon had said that God's Hand was powerful enough to kill Bella… would it also be powerful enough to kill our enemies as well. Her eyes flashed black at the question before she rolled them. A small surge of satisfaction ran through me as life slowly began to return in her.
"As I told Jacob, God's Hand is only a myth. It doesn't exist, but we are lucky that the demons seem to think that it does, because it buys us time to prepare." Jasper's mind began reeling.
"But can you explain to us what it is? It's always a good idea to understand the enemies beliefs, even if it is obviously false. We can get a sense of their mentality. See where they are coming from," he asked. Bella was silent for a moment, looking between us indecisively. Her eyes were firm and I could practically see the guard she was putting up around herself. Though she was clearly uncomfortable with relaying that particular bit of information, she saw the logic in Jasper's thoughts and nodded.
"Legend has it that when God forged the flaming sword, it had a twin as well. This sword was much more subtle and could be described more as a dagger. It would not combust as the other did, because it held a special power: While the first was designed to keep away and protect, this one was designed to take away and destroy. It is called God's Hand because its power extends into God's domain. It can strip an angel of its grace, it can demolish a demon past the point of resurrection, it can remove immortality, and with just a nick it can obliterate your very existence." She sighed and rubbed her temple in exhaustion. "Like I said, it is a myth. God may be all about free will, but He would never give anyone that kind of power, power that could overthrow Him if given the chance."
"And if it were powerful enough to overthrow God, Himself, then why waste it on you?" Rosalie asked, not looking away from her fingers-though they had been still since Bella began her explanation. She gave an appreciative half-smile in Rosalie's direction, nodding once.
"Exactly. No one has actively searched for it in centuries. They are just grasping at straws because it is the only thing that is guaranteed to kill me. But even that is debatable," she added softly, more to herself that anything.
"What do you mean?" Alice asked. She can't seriously be invincible. No, if she were then we wouldn't have to prepare for battle.
"I told you, God is big on free will. In response to that, God's Hand pulls on the desires of its wielder. It will only kill if that is what you truly want it to do. Potentially, the knife could be completely useless if it is possessed by a kind-hearted and peaceful soul. It is just as powerful as a peeling knife then. But when held by a blood-thirsty, vengeful, demon…" she shuddered, despite herself, but quickly recovered.
"And there is absolutely no way that this weapon exists?" Jasper asked for clarification. That kind of power in the wrong hands could potentially bring the apocalypse. Imagine if our enemies knew of this… If the Volturi ever got their hands on a weapon of this magnitude, there would be no stopping them from complete domination.
Bella shrugged. "Everything is possible, I guess. I just don't think it is likely. The last time they thought they had tracked it down lead to nothing but humiliation and one painful memory." She paused, taking in our silent question for elaboration. She broke out into a false smile, folding her hands beneath her chin. "My first memory, to be exact. I had to have been only a few hours old and there was a knife coming toward me." Shock and disgust quickly colored the air, making her laugh. "I told you, Mom deserves an award for Best Parent!" A flurry of thoughts broke through the shock at that moment.
She remembers being just hours old?
Her mother tried to kill her as a newborn baby!
Yeah, I would have issues after that too.
"Don't worry about it though," she continued, cutting into the onslaught of thoughts. "It obviously wasn't the real deal. And before you ask, I don't remember a lot after that. My father said that my mind freed itself from the trauma by blocking out all the memories that followed. Subsequently, my next memory is when I was four years old." Her eyes were far away for a moment before she shuddered, bringing her back to reality. "So anyway, it's a wild goose chase and is nothing to be worried about," she concluded before beginning another lecture on the art of fighting a demon.
The rest of the day was spent sitting around the dining room table, listening as she taught us real world demonology. She answered our questions quickly and precisely, before moving on to the next topic. It was a lot to take in, information that went against everything I had ever thought. She ranged from overall tactics to individual approaches, clarifying what she had stated earlier about each of the seven armies. Mixed into her lesson were small anecdotes of her experiences fighting demons, aptly describing how their abilities compare to our own. Demons were fast, but not only because of their agility. They were masters of misdirection, causing you to focus on one thing while they zeroed in for the kill. That one thing could be something as real of the tree that grew outside of my window, to an idea that had been floating in my mind when I was eight-years-old. A demon would be able to find the thing that would hold my attention the most and then use it as a prop.
I worried most about that, as I stared at the one thing that held my attention more than anything.
"I believe that Sloth may actually hit us first." She stated as the sun began to set around us. "Despite their reputation as chronic procrastinators, they also have a need to finish things quickly, get it out of the way."
"And they use puppets," Jasper clarified quickly, remembering all she had explained. Bella nodded once.
"Most likely. Sloth has a tendency to do one of two things. They will either: A). Use someone as a puppet and allow them to do the dirty work. In this way, they can use the power and abilities of someone else, and maybe someone who is personally connected to the target, as a means of destruction while they sit by and watch on their eternal couch. B). They will grab hold of their target, tap into their power, and turn it against them. This is the most dangerous tactic, and calls for a lot of effort on Sloth's part, so it doesn't happen often."
"So the guy who took over Edward was a member of Sloth?" Emmett asked, trying to connect all of the dots. I shuddered at the memory, the utter helpless I had felt as my own emotions were turned against me. I had said some terrible, cruel, and vulgar words to my family.
"No, he is actually from Wrath. He was having some fun in order to get my attention." Her answer was clipped in anger. "He was always like that, turning your own emotions against you."
"You knew him before he was demon." A sly smile spread on her face at Rosalie's conclusion. The image of Jacob and Bella's passionate kiss was forever burned in my brain and was now making me feel nauseated.
"Yes, I knew him very well." The thread of tension that had been forever tied between Rosalie and Bella suddenly snapped with a nearly audible twang. Rosalie slammed her hands down onto the table, cracks forming under the pressure, and she glared at her.
"Do you realize how disgusting you are? You use people as mere playthings, use your body as a means of manipulation and seduction. You are tainted, disgusting, revolting, and a disgrace to womankind. I feel sorry for every single person who has fallen under your spell," her eyes flickered to me once before resuming her glare at Bella. "because you are so toxic that even love must be impossible for you. You are incapable of feeling even a fraction of what love is, I'm sure of it."
"Rosalie, you seem to have some sort of obsession with my sex life. You know, we don't have to just talk about it, I'm sure Emmett wouldn't mind," she responded suggestively and confidently, her eyes flashing pitch. Rosalie let out an animalistic screech of anger before turning and fleeing the room. Her thoughts were full of acid toward Bella and, hidden deep in her mind, hints of insecurity. Emmett sighed. And I was getting so close to liking her, he thought sadly before following after his mate.
"Did you have to antagonize her?" Alice asked, annoyed. Everything she said had been true to a point. Yet, according to Jasper her emotions are so complex… love has to be there somewhere, she added for my benefit.
"Let's just say I get a sick satisfaction from of her anger." Bella answered.
I'll say. This is the most emotion I've been able to feel since her anxiety attack this morning. Jasper thought, sifting through her range of emotions. Satisfaction, happiness, residual guilt, but also an air of resolution and atonement.
But what did Bella need to atone for?
A/N: Ugh this is a terrible chapter! Sorry guys . But we are just TWO REVIEWS from 100! Can we get them? Even if it's to tell me how bad this chapter is?