Hello! Long time, no see! I'm terrible, I know. Thank you for loving my story still.

Last chapter for Provence, then we'll move to Italy. If you're not excited, I am. At least I can play at home ;)

Title was a battle for this chapter, but it won the last line of Re: Stacks by Bon Iver. Lovely tune, just like most of the ones in that album.

So, enjoy this chapter and for those of you who are Castle fans...you might recognize a banter between Castle and Beckett, if you're careful. Just throwing that out there, in case of copyright issues. Let me know if you found it!

Enjoy!

Chapter 20 – Your Love Will Be Safe With Me

All their plans for a quick stop in the south of France before heading to Italy were forgotten when they decided to enjoy the sun and the sea in Provence for a little longer.

Of course, despite two days full of sunshine and hot sirocco, their last morning was gray and cloudy. The fishermen down at the docks kept saying that it would rain soon, so they wanted to enjoy the beach while it lasted.

The wind, libeccio most likely, was harsher the closer they got to the water, and they could barely walk along the shore without getting sand everywhere. The water lapped at their ankles as it released its energy, the wind messing up their hair as they walked on the wet sand hand in hand, picking up seashells. Sometimes the wind was so strong it carried the water from the crashing waves, sprinkling their clothes.

They chose the most colorful ones – maroon, red and deep shades of purple – so that they would go together with the more classic white ones. When he was younger, Derek knew the names of most of these shells, but time had made him forget. Still, knowing the names or not, it was like living in a dream. Walking on the beach with Meredith was a dream not even his wildest fantasies could have made up.

The sky was a deep charcoal when the first raindrops started to fall, and nothing seemed to be able to breach it. A cargo boat honked in the distance, as it sailed through the storm, unaffected by the stronger waves.

Derek squeezed Meredith's hand a little harder as they stared at the sea. The rain fell over them in tiny, impalpable drops. He could not believe she was standing there, with him, looking at the sea, instead of shrieking and running for cover.

He loved the quiet moments he could share with Meredith. Usually, his previous girlfriends liked to talk and talk and talk, until he just drowned out their voices. Meredith chose her words with care, and she could appreciate the silence, especially during moments like these. She made his brain stop spinning, and from the relaxed look on her face, he suspected he had a similar effect on her. After all, the rain made too much noise for them to be too keen on talking.

Meredith tucked her body closer to his; there was no space between them then.

"This is breathtaking," she said, her voice getting lost in the hum of the rain. "Thank you for taking me down to the beach today."

Before he could reply, her lips left their print on his jaw, so close to his mouth he felt a shiver run down his spine as his body came a little more alive.

Meredith giggled, probably because she had felt his shudder, but she didn't pull away. She remained next to him, and she didn't care that the rain was picking up.

"We should go back now, change out of these clothes," he suggested, but he was just as reluctant to leave their embrace.

"We should," she agreed, but she didn't let go of him.

The wind had calmed down, but the rain was falling more heavily, gathering momentum and almost blinding them as they finally traced their steps back to the town.

They were soaked by the time they reached their apartment.

They laughed madly as they ran down the narrow paved streets in between fishermen's houses, their hands linked, their bodies weightless.

It all felt like some kind of dream.

Back at the house, they stood in front of the French doors before their terrace in a fresh, dry set of clothes, watching the storm exhaust its power. Their smiles were now subdued, but the sense of peace and belonging had not disappeared.

Meredith watched Derek and sighed, moving closer to him once again and enjoying his reassuring presence. For a moment, she wondered what it would have been like to be in Europe alone, and she could bet it wouldn't have felt anything like this. This was all kinds if special.

"I wanted a beach wedding," Derek blurted, the rain now just a quiet whisper behind his words.

"What?" Meredith wondered, turning to him. There was a small storm behind his eyes as she studied him, but he still looked at peace as he revealed another piece of his past.

"If I could have chosen, I would have wanted a small ceremony. You know, casual clothes, a quick reception, maybe something on the beach at the Hamptons. Rose insisted on the huge wedding."

"Yeah?"

"She's from a rich family. She had to show me off, show off her dress, show off the food...Everything was made to flaunt her wealth to all the guests. I wish I could have seen it sooner, you know?" He stopped, his eyes staring far away to the still stormy sea. "She just wanted the wedding, the ceremony, the man at her beck and call. She didn't want a marriage, kids..."

"She didn't?" Meredith frowned. She could understand pretty well the no kids wish, but she would gladly marry a man half as awesome as Derek. Um, yeah, she did not just think that.

"Kids would change her silhouette," he spat, his voice mocking Rose's, bitter and resentful. "She had to get married because it's what women do at some point in their twenties or thirties. She picked me because I am an upcoming surgeon, good looking, and without many secrets in my closet."

"Good looking, uh?" Meredith released the tension a bit, and he gave her a wavering smile, but the joke didn't brighten his mood.

"I was ready to settle for that kind of life. How crazy was I?" He shook his head at himself, his gaze on the waves once more.

"You were lonely, Derek." Meredith smiled softly at him, rubbing his back soothingly, and he laughed bitterly.

"I was an idiot."

"You believe, Derek. You see the good in people, the bright side in everything."

"And it always bites me in the ass." He sighed sadly and shook his head, his eyes unable to meet Meredith's. The sea rumbled as his words settled, and he let out a tired, defeated breath.

"I picked up a lot of guys in bars," Meredith admitted slowly, the waves filling her silence. Her hand fell away from his back, her body detaching from his. "I decided to come here when things started spiraling out of control."

"What happened?" he asked without hiding his concern, his tone making her choose how much she wanted to share. He was good at pulling things out of her, making her over-share, without even trying.

"The last one was rough. I mean, he didn't..." she sighed, biting her lip to find a good way to explain it. "He was an older guy, Law school or something. He was drunk. He liked to shove girls around furniture," she told him simply, a hint of regret in her tone as she shivered and met Derek's eyes, just to feel a little more grounded. "I knew that after him I had to stop sleeping around and find a different way to live. I needed a change of scenery, and I wanted a treat for my birthday, so I packed my bags and left, even without Sadie."

"No man should do things like that to any woman. Let alone one who's not his to shove around." Derek looked disgusted at the mere thought, his hand pulling Meredith closer once again, before idling on the hollow of her back. She leaned into his touch, feeling safe.

"I liked it at first," Meredith confessed, with a shrug. "I mean, I'm all for the rough, acrobatic, shove-me-against-surfaces sex," she smirked, her cheeks heating up. "But he was drunk and out of control. Usually, I'm just as drunk as they are, maybe more, so I don't really notice, but that night..." Her voice drifted, but the waves didn't cover the last whisper. "I felt so...dirty, after."

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," Derek said, enveloping her in a hug.

She frowned at his apology. She loved his hugs, but she couldn't fully understand what prompted this one. There was something heavy in his voice, something sad. Of course it was a pathetically sad story, but she did have worse things to reveal. This was mild, and definitely not hug-worthy.

"Why are you sorry?" she asked, her frown still prominent.

"Because I told you, you deserve better. You deserve someone that treats you right."

"You deserve that too, Derek."

He didn't reply; they just held one another, trying to heal some of their deeper wounds.

"We don't need to have sex, you know?" Derek blurted, and Meredith pulled away, a cross between a frown and a smirk plastered on her face. "If that's what scares you to take this, whatever we have," he gestured wildly between them with his finger, turning Meredith's expression into a full-blown smirk, "I can wait to take this to the next level. We can just, you know, – "

"Cuddle?" Meredith giggled, looking up into his eyes. Hers were a sparkling blue-gray today, a golden hue making Derek feel insignificant.

Derek chuckled, as soon as he was able to form a coherent thought. "Just... Think about it."

Meredith sighed, leaning into his embrace, then resting her head on his chest, feeling even safer than before.

"I don't know if I can't give you all these things you're looking for in a partner."

"Oh, Mere." Derek sighed, his lips finding the top of her head. "I'm not looking for a wife right now. I would be delighted for you to be my wife, – "

"Derek!"

"Too soon, uh?" He smirked, and Meredith rolled her eyes. Her smile was brilliant though, in sharp contrast with the somber weather.

"I have a lot on my plate, with college and med school and a perpetually pissed off mother. I'm trying to turn my life around, and it's hard."

"I know, I respect that. I don't know if I can be the right man for you, either."

Meredith frowned. "What do you mean?"

"You deserve to be loved every second of the day, and we live in two different states at the moment. I know it might be just temporary, but it will be hard, and you deserve easy now. You deserve flowers and romance and cheesiness."

"You're good at the cheesy parts." Meredith smiled, holding onto his biceps a little tighter.

"I have a temper too. A bad one."

"I kinda gathered that." Meredith smirked, her eyes sparkling once again.

"Good. I would hate for you to decide to start this thing with me not knowing I have a temper."

"Who said I'd decide to start?" They were both smirking now, mesmerized by each other's intense gazes.

"I have a feeling."

They stood there for what felt like an eternity, lost in each other's look, soft smiles gracing their faces, the storm outside dying down.

"Derek?" Meredith murmured, biting her lip.

"Hm?" he hummed, unable to remove his gaze from hers and say something that made sense.

"If I kiss you right now, – "

"Go ahead." He grinned, and she flicked his shoulder.

"Be serious for a second! This is so incredibly awkward. I would gladly dig a hole and hide instead of telling you this." She was blushing furiously then, and Derek was under a spell.

"I'm serious," he smirked, fully contradicting his words. Meredith rolled her eyes. "If you kiss me?" he prompted.

"Can it mean nothing?"

Derek knit his eyebrows in confusion. "I'm not following."

"I just...I really want to kiss you. You look really kissable right now, but if I kiss you, you might have strange ideas that we're suddenly in a relationship and I'm still not sure we should start anything. Still, you look kissable and you said such perfect things that you deserve to be kissed, and Derek – "

She didn't finish, because his lips found hers, and she lost herself in the feeling of him, sweeping her off her feet. He was gentle, soft, slow, like he wanted to savor it, and she was grateful, because she wanted to feel this weightless a little longer.

"You can kiss me whenever you like," he said, breathless and with a smile on his face as they pulled apart. "Even if it doesn't mean anything."

"So I can just kiss you and tell you it doesn't mean we are in a relationship?" Meredith asked, confused and a little out of breath herself.

"Yeah, something like that."

"Good, because you deserve one more kiss." Meredith giggled, before taking his face in her hands and rising on her tiptoes to kiss him again. This time they pulled away much too soon, both of them chuckling madly.

Derek squeezed Meredith closer to his chest as their laughter died down, and then placed a reverent kiss on top of her head, sighing loudly.

"We make quite the pair, uh?"

Meredith hummed at his observation, a little giggle escaping her lips.

"Never thought I'd find a best friend that is crazy like you are," she said, a hint of seriousness in her voice that Derek did not miss.

"It's the pot calling the kettle black, uh?"

"Shut up!" Meredith giggled, smacking his collarbone.

"You're awfully abusive, you know?" He smirked. "You are my best friend too, but you don't see me hitting you."

"I really can't help it. You are abuse-prone, on top of kissable."

Derek hummed, delighted. "I see how it will be, then."

They embraced in silence for a little while more, as the storm ceased to rock the little town, their bodies breathing in sync until Meredith leaned up and pecked his lips one last time.

"Thank you for being there for me, even if this thing we have is beyond weird."

"Wouldn't have it any other way." Derek smiled, brushing a strand of her hair behind her ear.

That night, Meredith dreamed what would it be like to kiss Derek Shepherd for the rest of her life, and she realized that maybe it was time to leap, after all. She just needed a little courage and a few days more to let the feeling sink in.

Damn, she had fallen for Derek Shepherd.

See what I did there? ;) They're getting cute, I know, I blame the show, where Meredith and Derek are a ball of cheesy.

I consider this chapter my Easter treat. My very own brand of chocolate eggs for you guys, because you are awesome. I wanted to post that first thing this morning, and then the site kept giving me error messages. I was furious, but now it's all good, and it's actually Easter here, so even more treat-y.

Let me know if you found the Castle reference, I'd be happy to see your guesses!

If you celebrate Easter, I wish you all the best (and all the chocolate), if not, have a good weekend!