I don't even know where to start with this note. I don't like making excuses but throughout the last weeks I had severe headaches and now I'm having a major cold that is only just getting better. On top of that I wanted chapter 20 to be good and that's how this delay happened. I'm truly sorry for the long wait and hope you can forgive me. Since this story is close to my heart I want to recommend you a video/short film about a girl put in foster care/put up for adoption - it's truly moving and will probably help you understand this story a little more: watch?v=lOeQUwdAjE0 (seriously, it's a great addition to my story)
Sooo, I hope you like this chapter (took me long enough, holy moly) and it would be nice if you left me a review now that I'm nearing the point where I start closing this story!(also, you may need tissues while reading this, just a fair warning!)
The rest of the weekend was spent catching up and playing with Amelia, effectively immigrating her more into the family and when it was time to say goodbye the girl's heart grew heavy at the prospect of not seeing Julie for a while whom she had grown to love so much.
When bedtime arrived that evening Amelia was tired but JJ and Emily still had a hard time to get her to sleep since so much was on her mind after the weekend and before the start of the new week.
"You not here tomowow?" Amelia's eyes were big and solely focused on Emily who was sitting on the edge of her bed.
"I will be here when you wake up sweetie but I have to go to work after breakfast." Emily gently explained again what their day would look like, knowing it was hard for her to get used to a new routine.
"Okay." Amelia whispered and they knew she wasn't all too happy about the change but was trying really hard to be brave and not cry again.
"I'll be back before you know it, don't worry. And now it's really time to sleep a little. Good night sweetheart, we love you very much." At this JJ's lips curled into a smile and she watched as Emily leaned forward to kiss Amelia's forehead before she proceeded to do the same.
Quietly leaving the room they made their way towards the living room where two glasses of wine were sitting on the coffee table.
"How do you think she's coping?" JJ asked once they were both seated on the couch and she was leaning into Emily's side.
"It's not going to be easy but she will be okay because you will still be there for her." Emily knew about the fears swirling around in JJ's mind and tried her best to put her at ease about the next day.
"I sure hope it will." A sigh escaped JJ's lips before she took another drink from her wine.
With their minds wandering and their wine glasses being emptied they spent the evening finding strength and comfort in each other, knowing a lot would change once Emily was out of the house during the day.
When the time arrived to settle down for the night JJ tiredly slipped under the covers, waiting for Emily to join her so she could cuddle up against her and get some much needed rest.
It wasn't long after they had fallen asleep though that they were woken up by cries coming from down the hall.
"Amelia." JJ shot up in bed as fear cursed through her and Emily followed her towards the girl's bedroom once she had gotten out of the bed.
Carefully opening the door they found Amelia cowering under her blanket with tears streaming down her face and whimpers escaping her throat.
The sight made it difficult for JJ to react properly and upon noticing this Emily slowly made her way towards the bed and tried to calm down an obviously scared Amelia.
"Hey Lia, it's ok now. We're here for you, you are not alone." At first Amelia tried to hide further under the blanket until she realized who was standing in front of her bed causing her to quickly scramble towards the brunette and letting herself pull into her arms.
Sitting down on the bed with Amelia on her lap and JJ by her side they quietly tried to soothe her as she sobbed into Emily's chest.
"What's wrong bug? You can always talk to us." Emily quietly spoke to her, while rubbing up and down Amelia's back.
"No leave me, pwease no leave me." The terror was evident in Amelia's voice and she shook harder at the prospect of being left alone again.
"Oh honey, it's alright. I would never leave you, ok? I will always come back home to you." Emily knew it wouldn't make much sense to explain the situation to her again while she was clearly upset and she was glad to have support from JJ who gently ran her fingers through the girl's hair.
"I stay too?" Amelia sniffled after a while, still clinging onto Emily's top as all her fears bubbled to the surface once again.
"Of course you will stay with us and we will always be there for you, no matter what." This time it was JJ who reassured her and watched as she slowly began to calm down again.
"Would you like to sleep with us tonight?" JJ offered, looking at Emily to see if she was okay with it too.
When Amelia nodded Emily carefully got up from the bed and carried her towards their bedroom where the three of them settled down together with Amelia lying between them.
With a kiss on the forehead from both women and the safety of knowing she wasn't alone she quickly fell asleep again and JJ and Emily followed her lead soon.
- / -
The next morning Amelia was less than thrilled to get up but JJ knew the day would be even harder on her when she didn't get to say goodbye to Emily before she had to leave for work.
When they were finally gathered around the table for a shared breakfast Amelia was still in her pjs while Emily was already dressed for work.
However, as the minutes passed the bowl of cereals in front of Amelia remained mostly untouched as the she quietly sat there with her head hung low.
"Hey sweetie, aren't you hungry?" JJ eventually asked her, hoping she would at least eat a little bit.
When Amelia only shook her head both JJ and Emily let out a sigh, not quite knowing how to deal with the girl's sadness.
"Do you want the other half of my toast? You can sit with me if you want to." Emily knew it wouldn't be a permanent solution but she too wanted to spend some more time with her before she had to leave.
At this Amelia finally looked up again and with her bare feet pitter-pattering on the floor she was on Emily's lap within seconds and hesitantly took the offered toast.
With that the rest of their breakfast went relatively smooth until Emily got up, grabbed her coat and bag and made her way towards the door with JJ who had Amelia settled on her hip following her to say goodbye.
As JJ leaned in for a kiss Amelia was desperate to get into Emily's arms again and it broke JJ's heart that she had to hold her back, knowing they wouldn't be able to separate her again without hurting her even more.
Seeing JJ's struggle Emily leaned down to run her fingers through Amelia unruly hair and placed a soft kiss onto her forehead before offering her some last words of comfort.
"It's alright honey, JJ will take good care of you and I'm never far away from home." She tried to reassure her one more time, being grateful that she wouldn't be travelling with the team for another few weeks.
Waving one last goodbye at them she made her way towards the car and JJ closed the door again, causing Amelia to start crying and trembling in her arms.
"Muuummy, noo." She shrieked and blindly hit against JJ's chest and her FBI training be damned she found herself on the verge of crying too because she couldn't bear seeing her so upset and desperate.
"Shh, shh, shh, it's ok. It's ok." JJ held her tighter and gently bounced her up and down, hoping it would calm her down a little. Walking around the house Amelia's sobs eventually turned into small hiccups until exhaustion took over and she succumbed to sleep, curled up against JJ's chest.
Letting out a relieved sigh JJ quietly walked into their bedroom and settled down on the bed and carefully manoeuvred Amelia from her chest so she was lying next to her.
It was only when she looked down at her, cheeks flushed and a thumb stuck in her mouth that a few tears escaped her eyes as she wondered how she was going to manage everything with Emily being gone throughout the day.
She couldn't help but feel like she had failed Amelia no matter how irrational it was, but the situation overwhelmed her and she just wished Emily would be there to put her at ease again. Just then she heard her phone buzz next to her and reaching for it she saw that Emily had sent her a message.
'How are you two doing? Is Amelia ok?' JJ let out an almost inaudible sigh before typing her reply.
'She started crying as soon as you were gone. Took me a while to calm her down. She's sleeping in our bed now and I didn't want to leave her alone.' Hitting send she rubbed her eyes and didn't have to wait long until another message came in.
'I'm sorry you're having such a hard time. Call me when she's still upset after waking up again. You're doing great JJ, don't doubt yourself." Reading this she teared up again, but this time for all the right reasons, being grateful that Emily knew her so well and always knew what to say to make her feel better no matter where she was.
With that JJ was finally able to calm down and draping the blanket over both Amelia and her she dozed off as well, hoping things would look better once both of them had gotten some more much needed sleep.