Disclaimer: I don't own Neon Genesis Evangelion or anything associated with it. Gainax created this world, I just play in it.
Transposed
Chapter 20
The Psychiatric Evaluation Ward. It was NERV's way of dealing with personnel whose minds had broken but knew information that was deemed not for the eyes and ears of the general public. Even an honest and caring outside psychiatrist may feel compelled to break their oath of confidentiality if they learned of the certain inner workings of NERV. Secrets were to be kept even if it meant housing the ill at the base hospital facility. Making them disappear might be cleaner for the organization but it would prompt too many unwelcome questions to be asked. Better to make it look like compassion was in place even if it wasn't. The doctors and their intentions were genuine, Gendo Ikari's, not so much.
Like much of the rest of the hospital that Shinji had come to know far too well it was very quiet here, which to him right now was both good and bad. Good, because it was peaceful, bad because it gave him too much time to think without something to distract him. Upon arrival at the base and meeting the man in charge of the SIS, they had gone to one of the conference rooms to have a meeting. He didn't need to be there so he gathered his resolve and decided it was time he came to visit Asuka now that she could actually have visitors, at least on a restricted level.
The Sub Commander had contacted the head of the Psychiatric Department, the same doctor who was personally looking after Asuka, and made the arrangements. Dr. Tokita had been of the opinion that Asuka was stable enough to have a visitor and that it might do her some good. What Shinji hadn't been prepared for was the lengthy interview he underwent with Dr. Tokita before being shown to a lounge area that overlooked the grounds of the Geo-front.
The first thing the doctor wanted to know was how much he knew about Asuka's past. Admittedly, he didn't know much but he did know how she had lost her mother. The doctor then gave him a brief and simplified explanation of Asuka' condition. Though as one would expect he didn't go into any specific details or tell him anything that Asuka had said. The doctor then began to ask him a number of questions about Asuka. What had she had been like at home, at the base, at school? Her general behaviour and attitudes. He didn't like the idea of talking about her like that but the doctor said the information was important for him to get a better understanding of her and he needed him to be completely honest and not leave out any details no matter how unimportant he thought they might be.
Odd how it hadn't dawned on him before just how alike they were. They both lost their mothers to the Evangelion but Asuka pushed her pain inside and rarely visited it, showing the world a brash and challenging personality to hide that pain and push herself in an effort to get away from it, even if that meant trampling others in her wake. He on the other hand rarely ever forgot that pain and wore its effects like a shroud. He had shrunk in on himself and kept himself separated from others so that he wouldn't suffer the pain of loss again. If you didn't let anyone get close, they couldn't hurt you. He and Asuka did the same thing in that regard, they just did it differently.
Maybe that was why the last Angel's attack hadn't driven him insane or damaged him in some other way. While he hadn't exactly embraced the ills and bad moments of his life, he hadn't been able to hide from them either despite his best attempts. They occupied too much space in his thoughts on a constant basis and he was so used to them being there that having them dredged up by the Angel while unpleasant, wasn't debilitating on their own. It was the addition of Misato's bad memories that did the most harm but even so he was hanging in there. Just barely maybe, but he was hanging in all the same.
By the time he was done he got the feeling that he had just undergone a therapy session of his own. Considering the way his own life had progressed and all of the things he had recently learned, he had little doubt that he should probably have a reserved seat on Dr. Tokita's couch for himself. Many of those things were going through his head now as he sat in the lounge waiting for the doctor to bring Asuka out. He had wanted to prepare her for the visit first and make sure she could handle it and he had warned him that it could take a bit of time.
He felt like his head was too full of things and he didn't know how he was containing it all and not collapsing under the overwhelming weight of it all. The things that he had learned was like a laundry list for a science fiction geek's wet dream. If Kensuke knew even half of what he did now he'd stroke out in frenzy of pure otaku bliss. He could only wish that this was all just some fictional phenomenon that could be taken for entertainment purposes, but he was unfortunate enough to have the scars, both physical and mental, to prove otherwise.
As if piloting monsters to fight monsters wasn't enough of a head trip into the ether for him, on a personal level he found himself realizing that he had real and undeniable feelings for multiple females in his life. Anything related to relationships scared him to death and always had. For him just simply interacting with others was difficult enough but anything beyond that threatened to leave him paralyzed. Love was something that had been in short supply in his life yet he knew he loved Misato and she loved him, their mind trip with the Fifteenth made that an undeniable certainty. He was pretty sure that he felt the same way about Rei even if it had yet to reach the depths of what he seemed to feel toward Misato.
What he had begun to feel around Shogoki...Lilith, was truly puzzling to him. Truly, he barely knew her and until recently their only contact had been through synchronization and most of that filtered by the other soul in the Eva be it his mother or Misato. But during the time he had spent in the core with her and Misato recently it had become clear even to him that she had deep feelings for him. He wasn't exactly sure what the nature of those feelings were, but it was undeniable that they were there and he found himself feeling something in return that even in its current infancy felt very much like what he felt for Rei and Misato. Frankly, it, and the entire situation really baffled the hell out of him.
He couldn't begin to fathom how he could have such feelings for two and possibly three different women like that. That wasn't supposed to happen was it? There had to be something wrong with him, he must be pathetically needy and selfish, right? Misato and Lilith, even his mother had assured him that that wasn't the case. He had been starved for love for his entire life, starved simply for someone to truly care about him and not treat him like he was a burden or an inconvenience. Or as in the case of his father, only useful and wanted for a malignant purpose.
Just as baffling was how and why anyone was reciprocating those feelings. His mistreatment since being abandoned by his father had been planned and intentional to mould him into the tool his father desired him to be. No one was supposed to care about him, he wasn't even supposed to care about himself or his own worth. He was even made to believe that that lack of caring from anyone else was his fault. But despite all of that there was Misato and Rei and maybe even Lilith. He had to fight his ingrained instinct to distance himself from them and what he was feeling from them. It was similar to a moth and a flame, he was enticed to go to it, felt drawn to it even, but at the same time and unlike the moth, he knew he could be burned and he feared it.
As if three wasn't enough, then there was Asuka. His feelings weren't as strong for her, how could they be after the way she had treated him, but he didn't hate her and even with the abuse he had still hoped they would at least be friends. There was something there though, or at least the potential for there to be something more. He could recognize that now after discovering the truth about his feelings for the others and it did nothing to ease his angst or confusion. He was scared. Scared to accept their feelings and scared to deny them after having just a small taste of what those feelings of love and acceptance did to him. It had all the allure of an addictive drug and he feared the result of letting it take him. There was a battle going on inside of him between the desire to feel more of that and his own self loathing.
He turned to his left when he heard a soft squeak of rubber on the polished floor. Dr. Tokita was pushing Asuka towards him in a wheelchair. At first he wondered why she was in the chair until he saw the bandaging on her foot and her hands and he remembered that she had hurt herself as well when she attacked Rei. She looked far different than what he was used to. She was dressed in white hospital pyjamas and without her A10 neural clips in her hair. She looked small sitting in the chair, the usual arrogant pride that always seemed to make her presence seem larger than life was gone leaving just the scared and hurt girl behind.
Her head was up but her eyes were looking more at the floor than at him. Even so he could see that they didn't have the same sparkle to them that they used to. She looked worn and tired, nothing like her usual self. Overall the aura about her was quite familiar to him, he saw something very similar to it every time he looked in a mirror.
Dr. Tokita wheeled her up to him and set the chair's brake. "I'll be over there at the nurse's station if you need anything," he told them before walking away. He would be close enough to keep an eye on her but far enough away to give them privacy.
"H-how are you doing Asuka?" To his own ears even that sounded so lame. She had busted up hands and feet and she'd had a mental breakdown. How did he think she was doing? Reflexively he expected a harsh response.
"I'm doing okay," she said softly. "Better than I was."
She hadn't raised her head or looked at him, but she had turned just enough that he could see the fading bruise on the left side of her head. The doctor had told him about the incident so that he wouldn't be surprised by it and ask her about it.
"Um...is there anything you want that I can bring you?" He wasn't sure what that would be, her rampage through the apartment had left very little intact even among her own belongings. He had boxed up everything that was hers, destroyed or not, so that she could sort it out later if she was able. He felt that he had been tempting fate and her wrath even doing that much considering how territorial she was over anything that was hers.
"Is there anything left," she asked shakily.
"We salvaged some stuff," he answered. "I...didn't throw anything of yours away."
He didn't need to say that he had been afraid to. She knew it. "I..." she sniffled. "I broke your SDAT...I'm sorry Shinji."
He didn't miss the tears that started to roll down her cheeks. It was heartbreaking to see, he had never seen her cry about anything. "I should actually thank you for that," he said truthfully. "I can't hide from the world behind it anymore now."
He had thought about that a lot lately. That outdated player had been his biggest crutch, a wall he could hide behind and shut out the world so he wouldn't have to deal with it. All it had been was a temporary respite that he realized now had done him no good. As painful as it was to try and face reality and deal with it, to deal with his issues, he was finally learning that not standing up and dealing with it was even worse. It was a benefit of having his mother back. She blamed herself for a lot of things, but she wasn't backing away or hiding from them. He needed to at least try to do the same thing. A lot of his issues were not of his making but if he didn't try to change the direction those issues had sent him in he would be doomed to continue in a downward spiral until he hit bottom and that crash landing might be one he wouldn't get back up from.
She finally looked up at him, her watery eyes sad and pleading and her voice breaking. "W-why aren't you angry at me Shinji? I hurt Rei. I wrecked the apartment. I've treated you like garbage ever since I got here. What I did...you're the only one left to fight now. Why don't you hate me?"
There was a question that he hadn't been able to find an answer to. She certainly hadn't given him any reasons to not hate her or at least be in a state of perpetual anger with her. From almost the moment they met she had tried to assert her superiority over him. She ran him down and ridiculed him, was disrespectful and rude to him not just to his face but in front of any and all who were present. She came into his home and kicked him out of his own room with the hope and intent of getting rid of him entirely. She labelled him as spineless, an idiot, and a pervert, all conclusions she came to without even knowing anything about him. His overtures of friendship and his attempts to be helpful were all thrown in his face. She did indeed hurt Rei and left him as the only pilot capable of carrying the fight.
"I don't know Asuka," he answered, hoping he didn't sound as pathetic as she usually accused him of being. "Even if I wanted to..." and there had been times where he really did want to..."I don't think I could."
"I-I've given you every reason to," she said in little more than an ashamed whisper.
"That wasn't really you..." he began.
"But it was!" she cried. "That's who I've been for most of my life. I was so horrible to you and everyone else and I couldn't stop it. It just got worse and worse..." she stared down at her bandaged hands. "I nearly killed her. I couldn't stop..."
"That wasn't you!" he insisted, tears now leaking from his eyes. He really didn't know what to do or say but the words came spilling out of him almost on their own. Seeing people he cared about suffering in pain, especially now after what he and Misato went through with the last Angel, was something he couldn't just dumbly sit back and watch anymore. "The real you is sitting right here. The Asuka that hurt Rei is gone and she isn't coming back. It's just you now and you can be who you want to be."
"How can I do that when I don't even know who I am now?" She was shaking, her bandaged hands trembling in her lap.
How could he answer that? What words could he offer her that would do the least bit of good? He was messed up too and hanging on by mere threads himself. Even the smallest of interactions with others was and always had been difficult enough for him, never mind trying to play amateur psychologist, and especially not after what he had just been through. He was more likely to say something stupid or upsetting and just make things worse.
He was about to retreat into himself like he always did, and those insufferable words 'I'm sorry' were about to fall out of his mouth like so much meaningless noise. They would have been that something stupid and upsetting that he was afraid of saying. He got angry with himself. Asuka needed something to reassure her, something to hang onto, not his usual weak attempt at running and hiding by apologizing for the ills of the world like he was trying to martyr himself for mankind. It was selfish. He would only be avoiding or at least delaying his own discomfort at the expense of someone else who was hurting. After a few seconds where he could practically feel Asuka sinking lower, the words finally came to him.
"After the things that have happened over the last couple of weeks I don't really think I know who I am anymore either, if I ever did," he began. "I think I finally realize that I can't keep being who I was. I don't really want to keep being who I was and I'm the only one that can change that. The world will just keep hurting me if I don't do anything. It will never get any better and I'll just keep hurting myself and the other people around me too and I don't want to do that anymore." He looked up at her and tried to smile the best that he could. "I still want to be your friend Asuka, and m-maybe we can figure out who we are and who we want to be together."
"I don't want to be who I was either," she tearfully agreed. "I don't want to be mean and I don't want to be angry and hurt everyone around me anymore." She managed a small, honest smile. "I want to be your friend too Shinji. Is there any way that you can forgive me for treating you the way I did?"
He nodded readily. "I forgive you Asuka."
She closed her eyes and took a deep, shuddering breath in relief. When she opened her eyes again however she looked rather sad again. "How...how is Rei doing?" she asked quietly.
"She's getting better," he answered quietly. "Dr. Akagi said she should recover with no permanent injuries. And she's a quick healer too I guess."
He was well aware of why that was but there was no way he could say anything to Asuka. She was in no condition to hear any of the things he had learned since his mother came back. He felt like he was lying to her even if it was just not telling her something rather than telling her a fabricated story. Rei really was healing quickly too since Dr. Akagi started cutting back on the drugs that kept her S2 organ from being active. He had seen the evidence himself how some of the fading bruises and nearly healed cuts were now completely gone after just a couple of days. The more serious wounds would still take a little longer.
"Th-that's good," she said. "I...what I did...it was vicious...I was afraid that I..."
"She's going to be okay Asuka," he reassured her.
"She didn't fight back. She didn't make a sound," she sniffled. "I don't understand. Why would she let me do that to her?"
"I-I don't know," he said quietly. "I guess that's something only she could tell you." He hated lying to her but the truth wasn't an option. Even though he did know why Rei had let Asuka do it, he still couldn't really understand it. He certainly knew about despair and feeling like he wanted the end to consume him, but allowing someone to possibly beat you to death, well, that wasn't a way he would have contemplated. He supposed that to Rei it just happened at an opportune moment.
"I'm afraid to face her," Asuka admitted. "I was afraid to face you too Shinji. I didn't want to be hurt again like I was when Momma died so I tried to put myself above and beyond everyone else. I've hurt a lot of people and wasn't very nice to even more. It was like I was trying to burn everything I walked past so there wouldn't be any consequences to what I did."
"But it doesn't work," he said knowingly. "Even if you're trying to run away and hide from everything like I was it still finds you."
"And you have to face them and the people you've hurt even if it is scary," she said. "That's something I've learned already from my sessions with Dr. Tokita. It's weird though, things don't look and feel the same to me as they did before. I guess that other part of me experienced things differently. I kind of have to learn to be me all over again. Like I'm starting my life all over again from scratch."
"That...makes a lot of sense," Shinji said. "I've kind of felt a little like that since my mother returned from the Eva."
"What's she like Shinji?" she asked. "I think I'd like to tell you about my Momma too...the good stuff, but I want to know what your Mom is like too."
Dr. Tokita smiled from his position at the nurse's station. He was just far enough away to give them privacy, but not so far that he couldn't hear their conversation. Things had gone largely as he had expected, maybe a little better even and that was encouraging. Asuka was very bright and very perceptive and in their sessions she didn't try to hide herself much to her credit. She didn't excuse everything she had ever done as being solely the product of that other part of herself and now that it seemed to be gone everything would be just fine. She was trying to own that behaviour and take responsibility for it but she worried that it would return. She did not know which part was the real her. She didn't want to be that arrogant and spiteful part, but she was aware that that aspect was and had been a part of her, was a part of the whole that was Asuka Langley Soryu.
Identifying herself and forging her core identity would be the major struggle of her recovery. The other would be coping with the still raw memory of her mother's death, which she had never really allowed herself to fully deal with. It was an encouraging sign to him then that as she talked to Shinji about his mother, she began to talk about hers as well. They had both been only four when they lost their mothers, but it seemed that she had more accessible memories from that time than Shinji did. Little wonder these children where as damaged as they were, considering how they lost the single closest person to either of them at such a young and impressionable age, and it caused him no small amount of concern considering how both children had been treated by their surviving family. He had little doubt that he would be seeing Shinji in the future as a patient as well.
He was grateful for the information he had been given by Sub Commander Fuyutsuki about both of them, he knew there was no way he would have ever gotten it from the Commander and he was fully aware of the reason why the Commander had ever even allowed him to establish this ward in the first place. For the first time since its inception he felt like he was actually accomplishing something and doing some good. For once he could actually help someone and she just happened to be one of the people who had been responsible for the fact that they were all still alive. For all that she and the other Children had been through, helping them if he could was the least he could do in repayment.
Eva Cages, Near Unit 01
As she made her way to the observation room overlooking Unit-01's cage, Yui couldn't help but lament that the day had turned out to be far more eventful than she had anticipated. Going down into the depths of Terminal Dogma and extracting the remaining fragments of Lilith's soul from the crucified giant should have been the extent of it, but it was late afternoon and they hadn't even gotten to that yet. Though she was grateful that the SIS people had kept her, Shinji and Fuyutsuki from being hauled in by Kiel's goons, and the meeting with them had been very productive. It would have been amusing even when Gendo was eventually brought into the room and Capt. Lake promptly punched him in the face, if it wasn't for the fact that it obviously involved something intensely personal for her.
'You and SEELE and your fucking Second Impact cost me the most precious thing in my life!' she had growled at him after flattening him with an impressive right hook. She was sure that the only thing that had kept the woman from pulling her gun and emptying it into Gendo was the large hand of her partner settling on her shoulder and subtly pulling her away. With the barest of nods from their Colonel, he had escorted her out of the room.
Even so she had enjoyed seeing Gendo with a split lip and spitting out blood...and a tooth. Too much so she felt, just as she had enjoyed tasering him. It made her wonder again about how the last ten years inside the Eva had affected her and what it meant for her going forward.
'Your contempt has only been directed at those who deserved it Yui,' Lilith reminded her.
'I suppose so,' she agreed. 'And I guess I cannot expect everything we have been through for the last ten years to have not left its mark. It would be foolish to think otherwise. Still, it does not feel right to be enjoying someone elses discomfort, even if it is Gendo.'
'That just shows that even with the scars of time you are still the same kind woman you have always been,' Lilith said. 'The one who was able to tame me from being the beast that I was.'
'Tamed you?' she mentally smirked. 'I would hardly call some of your actions and reactions tame.'
'...I don't recall hearing any complaints, no matter what guise I was in. Pervert.'
Ah, the benefits of a lover who had the ability to alter their body to reflect either sex and any look she desired to wear. Yui found her face going red. 'Thank you for reminding me, especially when my only partner out here is lifeless and made of rubber.' Lilith merely laughed. 'And mind who you're calling a pervert, she who needs to look into the mirror.'
She sighed. "Wonderful, I'm revelling in the pain of others, them deserving it notwithstanding, and it would seem that I've become a pervert. I dare not ask what other changes the last ten years has made in me."
She took a moment to settle herself before entering the observation room and speaking to Captain Lake. If the woman was willing to tell her what had happened, she would listen. Otherwise after her outburst she might just want to have someone to talk to even if that occurrence wasn't spoken of. She opened the door and walked in, joining her at the observation window.
"I don't know whether to be in awe of that or scared shitless," the Captain drawled, indicating the purple destroyer before her. "You built one hell of a monster Dr. Ikari."
"We needed monsters to fight monsters," Yui responded. "Unfortunately too many of us became monsters ourselves along the way. And you can just call me Yui."
"Mel," she responded with a shrug. "Did you become a monster too Yui?" Lake asked.
"Even before I joined with Unit-01," she answered with a nod. "By foolishly believing in the Instrumentality Project I became just as guilty as Gendo and SEELE and just as deserving of your anger."
'YUI!' Lilith's voice echoed in her head in alarm.
"Did you know that SEELE and Gendo set up Dr. Katsuragi to cause Second Impact?" Lake asked, her voice even.
"I knew what they had found and what they were doing and I knew that as with all endeavours into the unknown that their were risks," she answered. "But I did not know until just recently that the catastrophe was deliberate."
"I'm not happy that you thought Instrumentality was a good idea," Lake said, giving her a hard look. "But if you didn't know they were going to initiate Second Impact then I have no cause to want to put a bullet in your head."
That sent a shiver down her spine, especially with the matter of fact way in which it was said. "Believe me when I say I'm not happy that I thought it was a good idea either," she admitted in self disgust. "I was still just enough of an naive idealist then to believe in such idiotic fantasy and I was so wrapped up in being on the leading edge of scientific discovery and achievement that few others could come close to that I couldn't see things the way I should have. So much so that I thought I was doing something wonderful for my son by giving myself to the Eva and somehow securing his future. I didn't quite become a mad scientist but I was certainly naively and wilfully oblivious to what should have been obvious."
"And if any of this truth escaped to the public at large it would cause large scale chaos," Lake mused. "Not to mention what the truth of humankind's true origins would do to the devoutly religious. Instead of being created by a god, mankind was seeded like a crop by aliens. That's the kind of revelation that shatters faith and breeds despair and everything bad that it can bring with it. It would make all of the strife and chaos of the last ten years look like a walk in the park."
Yui smirked. "A rough interpretation but not entirely inaccurate. At least the intent was to create life and not reap a harvest."
"Except for Kiel," she said. "Didn't think I could ever hate SEELE any more than I already did."
Yui didn't respond, waiting to see if she wished to elaborate. She noticed her looking down to the catwalk in front of the Eva where Fuyutsuki stood with Colonel McKinnley and her partner. She saw the man glance up at the window like he knew they were watching him before turning his attention back to the other two men and the Eva.
Lake smirked. "It may not look like it but he's like a kid in a candy store down there right now getting to see that Evangelion up close. Hard to believe that with some of the things we've seen and done that he can still be like that. He keeps me sane and if it wasn't for him I probably would have shot Gendo after I decked him."
"The Colonel didn't seem overly concerned about it," Yui observed.
"He knew something was bound to happen," Mel said. "Hell, knowing him that's probably why he asked to meet the Commander, just so we could get it out of the way. He knew that Matt wouldn't let me go too far. We'll be talking later and I'll apologize for my behaviour and accept any punishment he deems fit for me. It was pretty unprofessional of me."
"Even if it did feel pretty good to deck him?" she guessed, a slight upturn coming to her lips despite her best efforts to not do it.
"I thought it would but it felt pretty hollow actually," she admitted. "And it doesn't solve or fix anything." She paused for a moment, thinking. "My younger brother Ron was fifteen when Second Impact happened. He was on a school trip to Florida when the tidal waves swamped the eastern seaboard and completely submerged the entire state. He was the only member of my family who had my back and hadn't disowned me. He meant the world to me."
"What happened with your family if you don't mind me asking?" Yui said quietly.
Mel shrugged. "I wouldn't bend to their will. They're rich business people and wanted me to follow in their footsteps. Wanted me to marry some rich ass whose father ran another large company to tie the two together. Had it arranged since I was old enough to walk. They had visions of building a massive business empire and wanted to use their kids to help them acquire it. My sister was all for it but I couldn't stand the thought of working in an office tower all my life or being married off like that, especially to someone I couldn't stand the sight of. As soon as I was old enough to enlist without their consent I did what I always wanted to do. I joined the Army."
"I take it that didn't go over well?" She could only imagine. She had known a few families here in Japan that still did things in the way of the old clans and going against the clan's wishes was always an ugly prospect.
"They were mad as hell, saw it as a black eye to their reputation," Mel said with a smirk. "Got worse when they discovered that no matter how much they whined or yelled at me and no matter how much influence they tried to exert through their elite circle of friends, which included several politicians and military brass, they couldn't force me out. Got even better when I was accepted a couple of years later for Special Warfare training. Ron though, he was cheering me on the whole time, backed me all the way when the rest of the family turned their backs on me and disowned me."
"During that training, was that when you met him?" Yui asked, gesturing to her partner.
Mel shook her head. "Nope. Didn't meet that overgrown bull moose until the Colonel recruited us and we both ended up attached to the UN military and with the SIS. Matt's from Canada, comes from a military family with a long history and lost them all in the Impact. He was in a SpecWar unit too when the Colonel recruited us. We got along pretty well and worked well together right away. Nobody I'd rather have watching my back than him. We've been through a lot together."
'Think I should let him in?' Lilith asked. Yui looked to see that Captain Riker had walked up the ramp the pilots used to access the plug and was taking an up close look at Unit 01. 'He looks like quite the catch. Misato agrees.'
'I don't think Captain Lake would appreciate that,' Yui thought back with a chuckle.
Lake saw the amused look on Yui's face and followed her gaze. She smiled and shook her head. "I am so going to give him the gears later about this."
"You seem rather fond of him," Yui observed.
She shrugged again. "Neither of us has much else to hold onto besides what we do for a living and that isn't something you want to hang onto exclusively. You need something to help you hold onto your humanity and keep you sane. Something to remind us why we do what we do. He's better at it than I am, like he has a switch he can turn on and off. Me, I'm too much like Katsuragi and have a tendency to try and drown things in beer and I need someone to keep me on track."
"Do you know Misato?" Yui asked.
Mel nodded. "Met her in Germany while I was training with a counter terrorist unit of theirs we had worked with a few times. It was a sort of rehab for me, I was just coming back to active duty after getting shot a few months before. We thought we were closing in on a big shot from SEELE but it was a set up. I got shot in the back and the big bear down there got angry and took the guy apart with his bare hands. Didn't find out until later that he took one in the side. Dumb ass nearly bled to death getting me help. After the days training I would go out to the bar and I ran into Katsuragi one night. I was there for a couple of months so we ran into each other a lot. We became drinking buddies and drank most of the others under the table. We also gave each other someone else to confide in. We're both a little messed up I'd say."
"Seems to be a precondition to being tied up with anything involving this place," Yui sighed. "Then again, that's what people like Gendo and Kiel were counting on. It makes people easier to manipulate."
"I suppose when you're trying to end the world it doesn't matter who you twist and use along the way," Lake mused. She turned away from the window and started for the door. "At least now we have a real chance to stop this freaking nightmare. Maybe then we can finally start fixing the world instead of trying to destroy it."
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