Chapter Nineteen

The first week of winter break, once Christmas was over of course, proved to be quiet and relaxing once Remus beat the prize money that was rightfully his out of Sirius. He had won the pool for the first day of snowfall.

This night found Lily reading one of the muggle novels that Sirius had given to Remus for Christmas. She was laying on the sofa as she read, relaxing from a long day of trying to control three very rambunctious seventeen year old males with Abby.

James was in his bedroom. He was staring at his ceiling, unmoving except for the slow, steady rise and fall of his chest. He was thinking about Lily at the moment. He had known that he had confusing feelings for her, but ever since Christmas Day, his feelings weren't so confusing anymore. When he woke up with her in his arms that morning, he felt at home. It felt right. He knew that he wanted her to feel the same way. He wanted to make her feel safe and at home.

James let out a small sigh. Who was he kidding? After the last disaster of a relationship there was no way that she would dive head first into another relationship.

There was a knock on the door, shaking James from his thoughts. "Come in," he called, still not moving.

Lily entered, taking in James' appearance. He was laying spread-eagled on his bed and was scruffy from not shaving at all that day. "Hey," she said.

It took all of his strength, but James managed to pull himself into a sitting position. "What's up?" he asked.

"Nothing, really…reading," Lily said, sitting on the foot of the bed. "Tired?"

James nodded. "I haven't really slept much," he said without knowing why he was telling her that.

"Why not?"

"What did you come in here for?" James asked, dodging the unwanted question.

"I wanted to know if you wanted to go for a walk," Lily said. She moved closer to James. "But I'd much rather know why you haven't been sleeping."

"A walk sounds great!" said James, moving to get his shoes.

Lily grabbed James' arm to stop him and he sighed heavily.

"Please, Lily," James breathed.

Lily looked him in the eyes, not letting go of his arm. He was begging her to let it go, which was all the more reason for her to hold on. "James, you didn't give up on me, so I'm not giving up on you."

James' shoulders dropped and he started to get choked up. "What is it, James?"

"I dunno," James choked out.

"Ever since Christmas you've been distant," Lily observed. "Is it because of your family?"

James nodded. "Partly."

"Is it because of me at all?" Lily asked slowly. James looked up. "I mean…you know, waking up-"

"I loved that," James said without thinking. Then he continued on more slowly. "At that point, I hadn't really slept…not without waking up every single hour…not in a very long time. I feel at ease when I'm with you, Lily Evans. You give me this unexplainable feeling of security…I don't really know how to explain it any better than that."

Lily, who still had hold of James' arm, was silent. Her mind was racing as if she knew exactly what was about to happen.

"Lily, I know that you just got out of a completely horrible relationship, but…lets go to a late dinner, or something…right now."

"On…a date, do you mean?" said Lily. James nodded. "I have a better idea."

"What's that?"

Lily moved from the end of James' bed to the head, pulling him over to lay down with her, her arms finding their way around him. "You can get some sleep," she said. "A walk and a dinner could happen any time, but I'd like it if you got yourself a good night's sleep tonight."

James breathed in the scent of his long time love interest. Lily was running her fingers through James' soft black hair. Kissing the top of his head lightly, she began to hum what James guessed was a muggle tune. His eyes closed and he felt comfortable. And before he knew it, James was asleep.

When he awoke, Lily was still there. Wondering what this meant, James squinted over to the clock on his bedside table. It was nearly ten o'clock in the morning.

James got up slowly so that he wouldn't wake Lily. He leaned over her carefully to get his glasses. A small hand grabbed his wrist and a sleepy version of Lily's voice said, "Where you going?"

James smiled goofily. "It's nearly ten," he said.

"I'm still tired," Lily said, pulling James' covers over her head.

"I'll take the first shower," James offered, rolling off of the bed.

He left the room and Lily stayed hidden completely by the covers. She breathed in James' scent and sighed. By staying in James' room last night she had hoped to become less confused by morning. What a stupid idea, Evans she thought. She had many reservations about diving into a new relationship after what she had just been through with Michael…

But James Potter truly cared for her, she knew that fact… And she cared a great deal for him as well. She was ecstatic that she made him feel so good that he could sleep better at night with her around. He had kind of sort of asked her out the previous night and she had kind of sort of said yes. Perhaps she needed to just follow her heart on this one, slowly but surely.

While Lily was having this mental battle with herself, Sirius and Remus were busy sneaking through the Heads' Common Room.

"That's Lily in the shower," Sirius whispered, seeing that Lily's bed was neatly made.

Remus nodded in agreement and moved with his friend toward James' half open bedroom door. "May I have the honors?" Sirius asked, still whispering.

Remus gave him another nod. He slowly pushed the door open and crept to the window. Sirius took a running start and dive-bombed the lump on James' bed, screaming, "BONZAI!" as Remus ripped open the curtains, letting bright sunlight pour into the bedroom.

Lily gasped in pain as Sirius pulled the covers from her head, still on top of her.

"SHIT!" Sirius shrieked when he saw the mop of red hair. He rolled off of Lily and stood next to the bed. "Lily, I am so sorry!"

"You are a fucking cow, Black!" Lily shouted.

"I thought you-wait a minute! What in Merlin's name are you doing sleeping in James' bed?!"

Remus walked over to Sirius and said, "Do me a favor, Padfoot…pinch me." Sirius pinched Remus hard and the wolf yelped in pain. "Nope, not a dream."

"Lily! You dirty, dirty little girl!" Sirius exclaimed.

"Nothing happened!"

"Oh, right," Remus scoffed. "Right, nothing happened. That's why you're in Prongs' bed while your bed is so neatly made."

"Moony, I expected more of at least you," came James' voice from the doorway. He was still unshaven, towel around his waist.

"That would be my cue!" Lily said, tripping over the blankets as she attempted to run from the room.

Once the boys heard the shower turn on, they began to laugh. "You dove on her, didn't you?" James asked amusedly.

"I rightfully thought that the lump in your bed was you," Sirius said.

"Nothing happened."

"Do you really expect us to believe that, Prongs?" Remus asked.

"Remus, it's getting close to your time of the month," James said. "I'm going to excuse your behavior here this morning. Last night, Lily slept in my room, slept and nothing more. I kind of sort of asked her out, and I'm not sure what her answer really was. That's it and now if you would be so kind as to get the hell out, I'd like to get dressed."

The boys, shaking their heads and smiling, left James to get himself dressed. By 11:30 Abby, Sirius, Remus, a blushing Lily and a freshly shaven James were leaving the Heads' Common Room to go to lunch, which was counting as their breakfast.

James fell behind the rest of the group and, noticing this, Lily followed suit. "Sleep well?" she asked quietly.

With a small smile, James nodded. "Thank you," he said. "Listen…last night I-"

"Asked me out?" Lily finished the sentence for him. James nodded. "I…Michael was…no, this isn't about him." James looked so confused, so Lily took a deep breath and started over. "Slowly," she said. "I like the idea of being with you, but I would like to take it somewhat slowly."

James' smile grew tenfold. "Okay," he said. "Okay, I can do that." He held out his hand and Lily took it. The two caught up with their friends to be met with many, 'It's about damn time!'s.