Hey again everyone, thank you so much for your reviews and continued support. You all make a real difference and keep me writing when I could have given up a while ago, so thank you!

Now, this chapter isn't very long at all so I apologise. It is basically the start to a much longer chapter I had planned, probably four times as long, but with a restricted schedule with everything going on at the minute I saw an hour or so of opportunity and thought that I might as well get something up as I do not know when I will next be able to publish! So short and sweet I am afraid, but the rest to come hopefully very soon.

This is entering the last few chapters of this story. This was going to be the penultimate chapter, but as it is only a section there will be two or three more at least after this one to come. Finally thought of an ending, so I know what is going to happen at least!

So anyway, read and enjoy and please leave a review. Thanks!

Chapter 20

'You ruined my life,' Effie said simply. Though she was sure that at any moment she could burst into tears she knew that she wouldn't. For once in her life she was going to be strong. She was not going to give Gray the satisfaction of seeing what he had done to her.

'Yes, I suppose I did,' Gray replied with a sickening grin, 'and I would be lying if I said that I didn't enjoy it.'

'You should be dead,' whispered Effie, shaking her head in disbelief. This wasn't supposed to happen.

'Probably,' he answered.

'You were in the Capitol...'

'Yes, I was, but I was smart enough to get out of there when it all started going south. I knew that there would be some sort of contingency plan, one which would destroy us all, so I went to District Thirteen. I was caught eventually, yes, but I am as you can see, perfectly alive.'

'Good people died,' stammered Effie. 'Innocent people, who deserved so much better, died for the sake of this war and yet you get to live.'

'I suppose that you would see it as unfair,' Gray smiled.

'Of course.'

'Who are you to say who is better than who? You can hardly pass judgement on others given your own circumstances. Would others say to you that you should have died instead of the innocent?'

'I am sure that they would,' she reasoned calmly, 'but however unforgiveable my crimes are, at least I have the courage and decency to admit to them. I know what I did was wrong, and I can say without a shadow of a doubt that I did not enjoy what happened. If I could go back and change it then I would, but that is not possible so I will live on regretting it and trying to make amends. I am trying, at least, to be a better person. You are nothing more than a monster.'

'I always did love it when you fought back,' Gray said smoothly. He saw Effie's expression harden and took a small victory upon seeing her pain. He knew how to hurt her, and he knew that it would work every time. Effie said nothing.

'You say that I should be dead, but I could say the same of you my dear. Were it not for me, then you would have died a long time ago.'

'What do you mean?' she asked, her voice threatening to give away her deeper emotions.

'I chose you,' Gray explained, standing up and moving as close to the bars of his cell as he could. 'I chose you to live when everyone around you was dying.'

'I don't-'

'It's quite simple really. There were a lot of prisoners during the rebellion, hundreds if not thousands. Some of them had a high priority, like Peeta and Annie, and some were used for information...you were disposable.'

Effie swallowed. He didn't know quite what Gray was telling her, but she didn't like where he was heading with it.

'We tortured and hurt those who knew important things, but it troubled no-one when one of you died. After we had Nooka watching over you, we already knew a lot of what you had to offer us. Of course, with your ties to District 12 you were always going to be a good source of information, but there were only so many cells; someone had to die every so often to make room. It could have been you.'

'Then why am I still alive?' asked Effie strongly.

'Because I made sure that you were,' Gray told her simply. 'After the...messy business with the baby, you were still alive and fighting – I liked that about you. You were...are...a very attractive woman and a strong one too. I made sure that you were kept alive for me, to do with as I pleased. We all had one, each Peacekeeper; we all had our own little whore.'

'Stop it,' whispered Effie, anger bubbling in her veins.

'I own you,' hissed Gray. 'Ever since I instructed the others not to kill you, I have taken ownership of your life. You were mine to do what I wanted with, and you are still mine today.'

'You don't own me,' argued Effie, 'I am not a possession to be passed around. I am in control of my own life.'

'If only that were true.'

The way that Gray said it...it was as if he knew what she was thinking. Effie knew that she was not in control of herself, not even of her own mind which was often plunged deep into darkness. His glistening dark eyes seemed to know – he seemed to know her better than she knew herself.

'I've been watching you ever since you slipped away from me,' Gray said, starting to pace the small cell. 'I was almost jealous when Plutarch and his petty soldiers came and found you, but I had other things to occupy myself with; planning the counter measures, training the President's granddaughter for leadership. You were nothing, and yet still I watched you.'

'You didn't do a very good job,' Effie informed him almost proudly. 'Elpis was the one who helped me. She freed me from my cell and took me to safety.'

'I always knew that she was useless,' spat Gray with a hint of resentment in his tone, 'but no matter. It means that I get to see you again, and that is a reward in itself. A little pale, a little wasted away, but still my Effie.'

'Don't call me that!' Effie shouted, a little louder than she had intended. Gray looked almost surprised.

'Well well the little lion has a mighty roar. I would be impressed if I couldn't see past it all. You know as well as I do, I can see it in your eyes; you know that you can't survive this.'

'I have survived,' Effie pointed out, 'and I will continue to do so. As for you...I cannot say. Many want you dead.'

'I'm sure,' he agreed, 'but you haven't accepted your own fate it seems. It is one thing to survive the pain, the torture, the heartbreak, but it is another to live with it. Can you live with what you have done, Effie?'

'Yes,' she said, less than convincingly.

'Oh I don't think so,' Gray teased. 'I think that one day you will be sitting alone, with no-one to tell you how brave you were and how you had no choice, and then you will realise. You are too good of a person to live with this weight on your shoulders; it's almost a credit to you. You think that you will go to hell, that you should be punished, but nothing will ever be enough. You will be guilty for the rest of your life, in your own eyes and the eyes of others. Haymitch will never look at you in the same way again.'

'Don't you talk to me about Haymitch,' Effie spat, her anger fuelling her confidence. 'He has been the only one to understand; he knows what I am going through, what I've been through, and he understands. He actually cares enough to forgive me, and if he can do it then I can myself.'

'So,' Gray mocked with a laugh, 'little Effie is in love? What do you think will happen if you are freed from your cage, hmm? Do you expect dear Haymitch to take you in his arms and carry you home where you will live happily ever after, getting married and having lots of little babies?'

Effie felt tears sting her eyes. It was the one thing, possibly the only thing that he could have said to make her cry in front of him. She didn't want Gray to see her weakened, not after everything he had put her through, but he had brought up the one thing which hurt her more than anything else. She looked away, no longer able to keep eye contact with him and lowered her hands from the bars.

'Touched a nerve, have I?'

She tried to ignore him, tried so hard that she balled her hands into fists and dug her nails deep into her palms.

'Did I kick you too hard? Did I take away that perfect family you always dreamed of with a hard blow to the stomach? I didn't mean to, I assure you – it's just an added bonus.'

She couldn't help it. Tears rolled down her cheeks and she had to use the wall to support herself, leaning against it as her head became heavy. He loved it. He loved the fact that he had taken away something which meant so much to her, and she hadn't the strength to respond anymore. He had won. Just like that, he had won.

'Well the lion seems to have grown quiet,' jested Gray, sitting back down on the bench. 'Not so mighty after all, perhaps? I have to wish you luck, Miss Trinket. Do you think that anybody, even Haymitch, will want you now?'

Effie was saved by the sound of footsteps down the corridor, though the room seemed to be growing darker around her. Her head fell into her hands as her tears continued to flow, but it was the sound of a familiar voice which caused her to snap back into reality.

'Transfer Mr. Freeman to a different cell,' Plutarch said sternly, 'he should never have been placed here. Take him downstairs.'

'Yes sir,' one of the guards replied.

Effie looked up, her eyes wide and grateful as she watched the guards take Gray away, still smiling at her until he was out of sight. She would never see him again. Plutarch turned to Effie, opening the door to her cell with a key and stepping inside. He opened his arms and she fell into them easily, the warmth of his embrace a comfort after reliving her nightmares with a man she despised.

'Effie I am so sorry,' Plutarch whispered. 'This should never have happened, you weren't meant to stand trial.'

'No, it's okay,' Effie answered as she moved back from his chest, 'I shouldn't be out of reach of the law. I should accept my judgement like everyone else.'

'I admire your courage, but even so it is unfair. You have not had enough time to recover, and that I am afraid will work against you. General Atkins seems to want you to be held accountable, but I do not think that she has a subjective view. She cannot truly understand.'

'But she's right,' insisted Effie. 'I killed someone; I should be punished for it.'

'You are too honest and kind for your own good sometimes,' Plutarch said, smiling a little. 'There are times when people should suffer, and times when they should not. Some people, like Gray, have done what they have through spite and wickedness; some people have no choice. Effie, I know how hard it is. During the rebellion I did...well a lot of things that I am not proud of. But it was for a good cause, for a better world, and though the guilt never really leaves you, you console yourself in knowing that it makes you a better person to feel those emotions. It means that you are a decent human being.'

Effie nodded in understanding.

'I want to help you, but I am not sure of how much I can do,' explained Plutarch. 'I cannot simply tell the judge to dismiss the trial, but I believe that General Atkins will want this over quickly. She will ask for a hearing to be held, and...I'm sorry Effie, but it will call your mental health into question. In a fair trial you would be acquitted, given the circumstances, but she wants you to be committed to a psychiatric facility for the rest of your life.'

'She...why? Who would do something like that?'

'A woman who cannot let go of the past and realise that things have changed,' sighed Plutarch. 'I would discount her if I could, tell the judge that she is unfit to pass judgement but she was already applied for the hearing to be held tomorrow. There's not much that I can do.'

'I...' Effie was lost for words. She knew that justice would have to come to her eventually, but the idea of being locked up in a padded white cell for the rest of her life seemed too much like how her life had already been. Another cell, another captivity, and more time to be alone and for her fractured mind to roam into darkness.

'I have an idea,' Plutarch assured her. 'I can't promise anything, but I do have one thing that I can try to do. Until then, you have to stay strong.'

'I...I'll try,' Effie stuttered.

'No,' Plutarch said a little more sternly, 'you really have to be strong here, Effie. If they see you are weak, weaker than expected, then they will make their decision a lot more quickly. The judge is fair, but he thinks that it will help you; I beg to differ. You can't have an attack, you have to try and keep it together, just for tonight. Can you do that?'

'I don't know,' Effie answered honestly, tears welling in her eyes. Plutarch rested a hand gently on her shoulder.

'I think that you can do it,' he told her. 'One night, and then it will all be over.'

'Do you promise?'

Plutarch swallowed.

'Promise.'

'Thank you,' Effie stammered, 'for everything.'

'There is just one more thing.'

She ushered him to continue.

'I don't think that you should see Haymitch.' Effie was struck by his words.

'Wh-why?'

'You need to prove that you are independent, and I think that having to see him and then have him taken away again will do you more harm than good. There are things that you both must do alone, for now, and then if all goes well you can be together by tomorrow evening.'

'O-okay,' Effie agreed, though inside her heart was fluttering. She didn't know if she could do it, waiting so long to see Haymitch. There were so many things that she wanted to tell him, about the kiss and how she didn't mean to react as she did. She wanted to say it, that she loved him, as she had never been able to before.

'Can you tell him something for me?'

Plutarch nodded.

'Tell him that I'm sorry,' Effie instructed him, 'and that...that I didn't mean...Just tell him that it was wonderful, and I don't regret it for a second.'

Xxx

Please pardon any grammatical errors. I did a quick proof read, but I wanted to get this up asap so rushed through a little.

Hope it was okay, and please leave a review. Thanks for reading and sorry for the briefness; will make up for it next chapter!