"The course of true love never did run smooth" –William Shakespeare
Chapter Twenty
Run Its Course
Hot breath.
Warm hands.
Close embrace.
She was entirely prepared to remain in this position for the rest of eternity, maybe longer. She closed her eyes, enjoying the rhythmic push and pull of their chests, exhaling as he breathed out and then taking in his newly released breath. His hand painted a searing trail along the narrow strip of skin between her shirt and jeans. Her breathing faltered as the tip of his finger slipped under the waistband of her jeans, feather-light touches stretching from one hip to the other. She buried her face in his neck, stifling a groan.
"That's so unfair," she mumbled.
His deep chuckle echoed in her ears.
"What's unfair about it?"
She sighed, "I can't think when you do that."
He pushed his hips against hers and whispered, "Then I guess it's a good thing that instinct doesn't require much thinking."
She playfully nipped at his collar bone, and he groaned. "Who's unfair now?" His voice was husky as he pulled her even closer by the loops on her jeans.
She merely laughed and leaned further into his embrace. He trailed his lips along the curve of her neck, and then brushed his nose along the line of her jaw, enjoying the fresh, floral scent of her skin. His head lowered further and kissed the exposed skin around the glittering emerald necklace.
"Will you tell me about it?" she asked quietly.
He rested his forehead against hers, the deep grey of his eyes capturing her completely.
"It was my mother's. Her parents gave it to her upon her sorting into Slytherin." He grinned, laying his palm across the necklace, his large fingers splayed across her chest, dangerously close to places that made her heart beat faster.
"Tell me, my Gryffindor, how does it feel to wear a Slytherin token?"
She tried to ignore that way that tiny two-letter possessive pronoun made her heart flip over in her chest. Instead she pulled herself closer to him on the small bed, and slowly draped a leg across his hips.
"It feels almost as good as this." She grinned before pressing her lips to his.
She meant the kiss to be light and teasing, but when his tongue trailed along her lower lip, she forgot her intentions. She gave in quickly, allowing his tongue to explore her mouth. He clutched the leg wrapped around his hip and pulled it higher, until it was wrapped around his waist. She broke their kiss, sucking in a greedy breath. His kisses continued down her neck, gradually progressing from gentle pecks until he was sucking roughly on the juncture between her neck and shoulder.
When her lower body was shaking, and her mind was very nearly fogged over, she forced herself to pull away, before she did something she very much wanted to do, but shouldn't. She laid her head against his chest, leaving her leg wrapped tightly around him. She listened to his lungs, working furiously for air, and tried hard not to attack his lips all over again as his hand traced teasingly along her spine.
When she found her breath, she questioned, "Draco?"
His hand ghosted across her hip and he mumbled, "Mmm?"
"May I ask you something?"
He wanted to say, 'Anything,' but he hesitated. There were some things he would rather that she not know. No, that wasn't exactly it. He wanted her to know everything, but he feared what her knowing might mean.
"And what would that be?" he asked.
She waited for a moment, gathering her courage, hoping that she was not going to regret this.
"Could you… would you tell me about the spell? About how it feels?"
The question surprised him. It was remarkable that a few hours alone with this woman had made him completely forget the last few years of his tortured existence.
He took a steadying breath, "It's … difficult to describe," he began. "There's a feeling that comes with it, a pressure, almost like…" He searched for the appropriate word. "Suffocation." The word was barely audible and she winced at the mental pictures that flooded her mind.
"That's why it's so easy to tell when it's gone. For a very long time, I withdrew into my mind, trying to forget that there was something else in me, destroying me from the inside out, almost like a parasite."
Her hand rested on his cheek, her eyes encouraging.
"I hear voices," he admitted with some difficulty. "In the beginning, it was a generic voice, but gradually as the spell conquered more of my mind, the voices changed. First, it was my father."
Hermione tried to hide the look of horror on her face, but she was fairly sure he caught it. Hermione herself had been plagued with unwanted thoughts and dreams of Lucius ever since she learned it was his doing that caused Draco to be locked in this very room.
His face was devoid of emotion as he continued, "I tried to resist and the voices became stronger and more numerous. Sometimes it was Dumbledore or Potter." He couldn't help the sneer that crossed his face. He had even more reason to despise Potter now than he had ever done. Now that he had Hermione, he didn't plan on giving Potter any chance to claim her as his own, not that he could do much in this room anyway.
"Sometimes my mother, her too." His eyes were downcast, and her arms tightened around him.
He was quiet for a moment, but then continued the barest hint of a smirk on his face. "I was even graced with your voice on a few occasions. The first time the spell dropped, and I heard your voice, I was sure that it was some trick, that the spell had evolved. I never would have admitted it then, but I was so relieved when you were real."
He broke off, his jaw clenched, but his eyes soft. "Forgive me? For dragging you into this?"
She regarded him for a moment, unsure of how to react, but finally settling on a warning glare. His eyes were looking everywhere but at her own. Frustrated, she pushed her lips against his, perhaps a little harder than necessary, but it got his attention as she'd hoped.
"I will accept no apologies, Draco, because there is absolutely nothing to forgive, except perhaps your rather insufferable behavior in the beginning."
His expression remained skeptical.
"Draco. I'm telling you, there is nowhere else I'd rather be. In fact, I'm sorry that I didn't find you sooner."
He actually gave a small smile.
"I believe that is something that we can definitely agree upon. And you know I can't help being insufferable."
She laughed. "You're right. I would have been worried if you'd acted any other way."
He shook his head, smiling. "Of all the things you've seen in this room, that's what would have worried you?"
She merely laughed it off and kissed him, unwilling to admit that she worried about him all the time, very nearly nonstop. He gazed at her for an immeasurable period of time, his eyes memorizing the gentle curves of her face, even though he knew them by heart already.
"You know you are surprisingly hard to resist, always were, even when you were just a voice in my head."
"But you did resist? The spell?" She prompted.
There was an inkling of pride in her eyes that he knew he didn't deserve.
"Not for long after that. The next voice was my breaking point. The things that he told me… that the spell told me in my mentor's voice," he corrected, "They made me realize finally what I'd somewhat known all along. That I deserved this."
She opened her mouth to protest, but his finger on her lips stopped her.
"It was painful, more painful than you can imagine to hear his voice… to hear Severus… to know that I had failed him."
She tried to speak around his finger, but again he cut her off.
"I know, Granger! I know that you think I'm good or noble or have redeemed myself, or whatever crazy thoughts run around in that head, and for that, I thank you. But you asked about the spell, about my story, and this is part of that, a part that I can't change."
Her expression remained rebellious, but she nodded.
He took a breath before returning to his tale, "So that's when I gave up. I retreated into my mind and hid away, letting the spell have all of me. I'm not sure how much time passed then, but eventually a day came where I felt light—lighter than I had in years. And I could breathe. I knew by instinct that the spell was gone, and I awoke to find you."
His eyes settled on her and it appeared that his story was finished.
"Is that all?"
He stopped, and his eyes became fierce, his entire being saturated with guilt and self-loathing.
"It was, until this week. This week was… different. I mean, the spell has always had some control over my actions, but usually only when I completely lose control. It was like the more I wanted it to stop, the more it continued. I tried so hard to loosen my hand, so hard, but it only tightened. You can't imagine, looking into your eyes and seeing the reflection of my own… dead, entirely lifeless." His words grew to a whisper and then dissipated completely.
"I'm sorry." She'd never heard those words sound so sincere. "Hermione, I'm so sorry. I can't… I—"
It was her turn to cover his mouth. "Are you done?" she asked impatiently.
He glared and severely shook his head.
She shrugged. "No matter. It's my turn. I listened to your story… and I tried, and I think I understand the emotions you experienced and why you believe certain things about yourself. But as far as I am concerned, your apologies are not needed. You were always forgiven, and you always will be. "
She glanced around at the thick, padded, white walls, her voice mournful and full of determination. "I'm going to fix this, and when we get out of this room, you're quite welcome to make it up to me for as long as you'd like."
She waited a moment before removing her hand, and then he smirked.
"Multiple times?"
She scoffed. "Well, I certainly wasn't going to settle for just once!"
His hands gripped her arse, pulling her hips tightly against his own.
"Perhaps we should get started now?" He rolled his hips, and her breath caught in her throat. She glanced at her watch, extremely tempted, but groaned when she saw the time.
"I have to go."
His arms involuntarily tightened around her.
"I don't want to leave," she clarified. "Merlin, I'd rather do anything besides leave, but the nurses will be making their morning rounds soon."
"Come back to me?" he asked.
"I'll have to if you're ever going to make it up to me." She grinned, but then became more serious. "I'll always come back, Draco."
He lay down flat on his back and slipped his hands back into his restraints, waiting for Hermione to tighten them.
"And I'll be right here, waiting."
∞∞∞
She had stayed at St. Mungo's so long that Harry nearly believed he'd missed her. Near five o' clock in the morning, he spied a petite figure fleeing into the early morning darkness. He watched her from a distance, Apparating just a moment before she did. He reappeared about a hundred meters from her apartment, watching as she materialized in the dark alley around the corner, and then walked slowly to her door. Even from such a distance, he could see a broad smile stretching across her face, the smile he'd fallen in love with all those years ago. Eyes closed and smile still in place, she leaned back against the front door, her hand placed lightly over her heart. She stayed there, standing curiously on her porch, until a faint lightening began in the sky.
She seemed happy, more carefree than he had ever seen her, especially considering she had been hospitalized less than twenty-four hours earlier. Harry briefly noted that her behavior was extremely peculiar, but when the sun peeked over the horizon, casting a glow on her face, he was distracted. He had to restrain himself from rushing to her and wrapping her up in his arms. He would only scare her off with behavior like that. He needed to prove himself to her—win her over. He smiled, elaborate plans beginning to take shape in his mind.
Finally, her eyes opened, and she seemed surprised that the sun had already begun its ascent. Harry waited for a few moments after she disappeared into her building, before disappearing himself.
And so his plan, just one of many plans to be hatched in that early light of day, was set in motion. And the wheels of fate would move, swift and stern, their progress unstoppable.
A/N: Sorry it's been a while guys. I've been incredibly busy, travelling everywhere from London to Switzerland to Germany! If you want to hear about my trip, or about updates, or my life in general, feel free to friend me on LiveJournal, my name is JKRsunkmyship. A huge thanks goes out to my beta, Eilonwy, who did a marvelous job, even though she was feeling under the weather!
Otherwise, the next chapter is huge, guys… BIG things are happening! Yay!
P.S. I like reviews.