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A/N: Sorry guys I HAVE to go...but I HAD to post this for you...I haven't read it at all, but I HAD to do it for you...Tomorrow I graduate officially, the ceremony with caps and gowns and all...panic time panic time...but I wrote this up pretty much today and now it's 2 AM and I have to be up by 11 tomorrow so I gotta sleep...no review thanks at the end, I just hope this chapter's good enough...but for now: THANK YOU EVERYONE! OVER 350 REVIEWS! YOU GUYS RULE! I hope you enjoy...you're going to hate two people: Taikokajin(hehe) and me b/c there's a cliffie halfway through...enjoy!
Mother's Wishes
A warm touch welcomed her back to the world, and Tsukiyume moaned. Her limbs were weak and heavy; her body cold like a block of ice. She tried faintly to wiggle her fingers, to lift her tiny hand up and touch the warmth that grazed her forehead, that caressed her cheek so gently…her hands were too heavy, her mind too fuzzy with a thick disorientation. Yet her emotions remained alive, vibrantly so, and Tsukiyume whimpered with the sudden fear that swamped her senses, that whispered in her ears that she wasn't safe…
"Mother…?" she whispered through her thick, cold lips, and tried to open her eyes, to blink up at whatever creature was so sweetly, so warmly, touching her face. It could be none other than her mother or her older brother, they were the only creatures in her world that had ever bothered to so much as think about her as anything short of a half-demon—a despicable half-breed that walked the earth only as a cruse, an abhorrent mixing of the species…the tears that trickled from the corners pf her eyes were cold, not warm.
The warmth of the loving touch trailed over to her cheeks, swiped the tears away. "You shouldn't cry little 'Yume…you're too beautiful to cry."
She blinked and tried to see the fingers of this mysterious—male—person who so lovingly attended her, but there was nothing but darkness…Am I blind?
The rumble of a chuckle drew her fear away, and the warm fingers returned, touching her chin and shifting her face gently to one direction. It was like her mother had once done when she was nothing but a pup, trying to search her young daughter's face for some kind of stain that needed to be cleaned away. Tsukiyume trembled fearfully as another thought came to her, filling her with dread: someone might also do that to force me to kiss him…
The memory of the beast that had pinned her, taken control of her, returned suddenly and she cried out, a flush of energy she didn't know she had making Tsuki roll and curl up into a fetal position, shivering. The tears came, full of terror and shame, but she could do nothing to make them stop.
The presence still had not left, and still hadn't made any advances that had harmed her…why didn't he speak? Why didn't he taunt her for her sobbing, for her tears? Dimly, through her muddled, confused senses, she searched for the scent of this thing's presence: grass, mud, water from the lake, pollen…distantly the beast man's stink…but nothing else reached her, nothing but her own scent.
Did I dream the warm fingers? That touch?
She blinked again, willing her eyes to see—and finally she saw the shining shimmer of the lake water that she knew she had been nearby when the beast had attacked her. When she looked up into the sky she made out a nearly full moon and the distant glimmer of the stars watching over her. Her gaze lingered on the bright white of the moon…horror swept through her.
A full moon? But that would mean I've been lying here sleeping a whole month away! A new thought followed fast on the heels of the first one, making her tremble: I'll be human again soon!
Human meant being as weak as a lamb…
A touch brushed against her shoulder, warm and gentle. She recognized it now, felt a shiver pass through her, a strange calm. Whether I'm dreaming it or not I don't care, it's comforting to believe that there's someone I know here.
"Shimofuri!" she hissed, her voice weak. She tried to drag her hands up to touch him, to hug him, to thank him for coming to rescue her—even if she was only dreaming it somehow…but her body was still so cold and heavy…
There came a small chuckling, gentle and warm as his touch was. "I'm sorry Tsukiyume, but I'm not your brother."
She froze, a mixture of fear and surprise mingling inside her. "Then who…?" no one else would be so kind to her, no one else saw her as anything but an abomination. Even the maids and guards of her mother's palace sometimes risked long curious gazes at her flowing black hair which was so strangely capped by her two, white, pointed dog ears. Though they were kind to her she suspected that at once they also feared her, thought of her as if she were possessed…hanyous were unpredictable things, prone to sudden change, abrupt emotions and the terrifying possibility that they might just become enraged enough to allow their youkai blood and power to overwhelm their sane minds…
The man—she suspected he was not a demon for how gentle and caring he was—sighed sadly and his warm fingers strayed over her face again, seemingly feeling her features. "I have only seen you briefly. I know you have a beautiful face—you got it from your mother I suspect. But your eyes, child—those, those are mine." As he spoke his fingers danced over her cheeks, dashed across her forehead with the utmost care, and then, slowly, cautiously, circled around her eyes as she closed them, letting him feel the smoothness of her brow and eyelids and lashes.
She knew who he was suddenly, and though she knew it wasn't possible, the knowledge refused to be denied, refused to be buried. She voiced it with a trembling voice: "Father…?"
His fingers left her then and Tuskiyume opened her eyes again, sensing something that her eyes could not see, but her soul could. A shadow moved nearby, squatted at her side…when she closed her eyes again she saw his face clearly in her minds eye—and gasped. His eyes were just like hers, a deep brown with a tiny, barely visible ring of black like velvet around the pupils.
She blinked when he spoke, losing the mental image. Her heart pounded in her chest…I'm talking to my father's spirit…
"When you came to the shrine, 'Yume, and were taken by the ancient beast…my soul was unable to rest. I have been searching for you, and now that I have found you…" he paused, and she sensed that he was elsewhere for a moment, listening to something she could never understand.
Despite herself she felt tears spring into her eyes, her chest constricted, "Father, am I going to die at the hands of the beast that took me?"
The shadow kneeling beside her moved, his attention returning to her, "No, I shall see to that, child." His voice seemed to shake with conviction, and Tsuki shivered at it. Her body seemed to grow warmer, her heartbeat picked up in strength.
"You shall sleep for now, the beast will never suspect. When the time comes…" his voice wavered, and she sensed his fear, his sadness, "I will see to it that your strength is returned. I will see to it that you have all that you will need to survive this…you and the others…"
"Others, Father? Do you mean Mother and Brother?"
She sensed his deep, somber attitude and a lingering hostility that she couldn't understand. "Yes, and one other…but, Daughter, you must do one thing for me in return."
"What is it?" she whispered, her chest constricting again. For the father she had never met she would unquestionably do anything…
"Depose your mother, Tsukiyume. You must place your half-brother and all that he thinks and does above your mother for me."
Tsuki was horrified. Taikokajin had loved her, nursed her, cuddled her, kept her warm and protected when no other could… "Father, how could you ask that of me?" but even as she asked that she trembled, suddenly remembering things her brother had whispered darkly about, of what he had once called their mother: Black Widow. She had always known that he believed his demon father's death was because Taikokajin had had him killed—just so she could have sole power over her young son and heir, Tsuki had assumed, just so Taikokajin wouldn't have to share power with any other…now suddenly, with her father's spirit beside her, she wondered if the same had been applied to her human father…
"It is far less than what she has done to me, Daughter." The now cold voice answered, and without a doubt Tsuki knew that while her human father had prayed and meditated, someone—Taikokajin herself perhaps?—had crept in and killed him. Considering that her father had been a militant monk Tsuki realized with a weak, choked gasp of pain, that it was likely his killer had been someone he trusted and never would have suspected would suddenly kill him…like a lover…
She swallowed her fear, her horror, and nodded through the darkness toward the shadow that crouched beside her, "I will do what you ask…" the tears came from nowhere and she choked on them, "I'm so sorry…"
"Shh…" he whispered, and through the dark she felt his comforting, soothing touch. She closed her eyes against his warm hand, cupped against her cheek…and for a moment she saw him as if she were living his memories: luxuriant cream robes as he walked through a garden she recognized as her mother's within the palace courtyard, the laughter in his eyes and that burst out of him clearly as he watched a very young, blue-black haired child running toward him, arms outstretched…and then she saw her mother's face, younger, less strained, staring after the dark-haired pup, laughing in the cream-robed monk's arms, her expression was lost, troubled…and her delicate, clawed hands rested on a slight protrusion of her abdomen where a tiny Tsukiyume rested, waiting to be born to a mother who had made certain that her father would never see her…
She blinked the images away from her mind's eye, trembling at this horrible truth she had never dared consider. The warmth of the spirit presence's touch was still on her cheek, still offering her some strange reserves of strength. Gratitude and regret filled her heart. "I'm so sorry, Father…"
"Don't be, Tsukiyume, our souls will meet again—she can do nothing to stop that. The same is true for your brother." The shadow beside her knelt, coming closer until its somehow warm, comforting darkness stole over the whole of her vision, covering the stars, the troubling full moon above…she felt a warm moisture on her forehead, the ghost's kiss somehow made real… "Live well, Daughter, be happy."
"Father!" she tried to fling her arms about him but she met nothing but air…the stars were clearly visible again, shimmering. A heaviness slipped into her. Made Tsuki close her eyes in exhaustion—but deep within her soul peace remained, filling her heart with the lingering comfort and gentle warmth of her father's soul.
She slept deeply, her body drawing strength for a coming battle that she knew nothing of.
They traveled for close to a week without stops that lasted for more than an hour. Inuyasha found that he had grown soft somehow—or perhaps, he reluctantly considered, it was his human half that prevented him from keeping pace with the young inuyoukai heir. He was tired and slow to react. Tetsuseiga would likely be so heavy in his grip that it'd collapse and he'd be hugely embarrassed…
Also, a continuous worry gnawed at his insides. The natural instinct to protect one's mate and pup was a constant within him. If he had slept while he traveled beside the pink bitch's heir he suspected that the constant nagging fear would drive him insane, waking him from otherwise sound sleeps, haunting his dreams. He worried that Kagome and Koinu were being tortured or starved or separated while without his protection and at the mercy of Taikokajin's honor. That honor was a thing he personally believed was nonexistent. But aside from that worry he also feared his brother's appearance and interference in their quest.
That fear was something Shimofuri actually wanted.
"What the hell are you doing?" Inuyasha had demanded not a day after they'd crossed the border of the Western Lands. Shimofuri was leading the way now and he'd come to a crossroads. Immediately the inuyoukai youth had started on the path that led in the direction of the middle of Sesshomaru's lands, towards his castle.
Shimofuri threw his cousin a bland look, unfazed. "I am following our desirec path, Inuyasha."
The hanyou snarled, flashing his fangs briefly, "Look kid," he snorted, "There's no way, over my dead body, that I'd willingly walk that path you're on." He crossed his arms, indicating his stubbornness. "So you'd damn well better get your ass back over here, Shimo-cousin."
The young lord scowled lightly for a split second at Inuyasha's newest teasing nickname for him. But the expression vanished almost as fast as it had appeared. "Why is it that you are so hesitant?" the youth's voice was genuinely curious, there was no mocking within it.
"Because unlike you and that pink bitch you call Mother, my 'big brother' and I don't play well." He sneered, as if his aforementioned 'big brother' were there and returning the banter.
Shimofuri turned completely then to face the hanyou. "We must seek his permission, Inuyasha, surely you are aware that it would be rude to just walk across and through his lands without making ourselves fully known and explained." The gray-eyed demon nodded lightly, "It makes perfect sense to go and speak with Sesshomaru."
Inuyasha snorted, "Feh! Only if you want him to ram Tokijin up your ass kid!"
Shimofuri narrowed his eyes, reminding Inuyasha uncannily of the very devil they were currently speaking of. "He would not be so rude."
"You wanna bet on that one, Shimo-cousin?" Inuyasha chuckled sarcastically.
"If we do not make ourselves known we are trespassers." Shimofuri began, calmly, patiently, as if speaking to a child, "Then Sesshomaru really will have cause to be justly angry. Trespassers are liable to be ripped to pieces." He pinned the hanyou with his gray eyes carefully, "Which, cousin, would you prefer?"
Inuyasha growled, "Feh! Fine Shimo-kid. You wanna get us killed, you go right ahead. But remember, I won't defend you when Sesshomaru plunges that sword of his down your throat…"
Thus they had traveled in the direction of Sesshomaru's palace, along the way they searched for signs of Garou. There was almost nothing to speak of, which was discouraging. Inuyasha often wondered if coming into the Western Lands was a good idea at all. It seemed to be doing nothing but making them stick their necks out, waiting for demon lords like Sesshomaru to come and snap them like twigs. Yet once committed he couldn't back down from it.
A week after passing over the border from the Middle Lands to the Western Lands, they reached the palace. Seeing it, the lofty architecture, the beautiful gardens, the stone paths, the wide halls with ornate pictures of all of the rulers or the Western Lands adorning the halls, all of it gave Inuyasha the willies. He'd come so close to losing Kagome—and Koinu through her—forever to Sesshomaru's paranoia in that very castle. Coming back to it made his stomach twist and flip.
It can't be an omen can it…? He prayed silently that it wasn't.
This time they were escorted in to the court hall where Sesshomaru met with his allies and enemies alike. There they waited while a servant dashed off to bring the demon lord. Inuyasha steeled himself for the attack and the huge fight that was inevitably coming. Damn you Sesshomaru, I hate thinking about a fight beforehand, I like just jumping into it…
A door slid open just as his thoughts had veered off to worry about Kagome and Koinu. As he looked up Inuyasha immediately cringed, meeting his brother's identical golden eyes, his cold, expressionless face, the maroon, almost wine-colored marks on his brother's face that denoted him as a highborn, regal demon lord. Sesshomaru glowered down at them coldly as he took a seat—his eyes were narrowed and icy. His gaze switched very slowly from one relative to the other. Both of them had bowed—though Shimofuri's was noticeably lower, offering the older lord the respect due to one of his stature.
"Face me." Sesshomaru ordered, his voice small and almost delicate, but as powerful as thunder seemingly at once. They did, Inuyasha unabashedly glaring the whole time. The demon lord met his little brother's gaze and a flicker of bitterness, of deep-seated hatred and—something else?—appeared in his sharp golden eyes.
"Little brother," a tiny hint of a smirk came to Sesshomaru's face and then vanished. His voice remained monotone, "I see you have broken our pact." He inclined his head once; his eyes grew unfocused, as if what he spoke bored him, though both brothers, as well as Shimofuri, knew better. "Your life is forfeit now."
"I didn't come here of my own damn free will—asshole." He snarled, flashing his canines swiftly to make sure his brother understood that should it come to fighting, he was still just as determined and desperate. If Sesshomaru had any sense at all he would know that his younger brother was even more serious this time around with both a mate and a pup to protect. In a way his added obligation made Inuyasha even more aggressive as well—Sesshomaru had proven himself an enemy and threat before, thus Inuyasha was liable to jump at the chance to fight him and potentially rid his mate and pup of a future threat…
"Perhaps," Sesshomaru murmured, still looking bored, "I could let it pass this time." Now his golden gaze moved slightly, and with the utmost slowness, toward Shimofuri. "Cousin," he nodded his head lower, in what could almost have been a bow, "I have heard of the beast you seek. Your mother, Lady Taikokajin, visited me with the news some time ago."
Shimofuri nodded gently, "Yes, Lord Sesshomaru, she was most saddened when you declined to help her." The young lord's grayish eyes lingered lightly on Sesshomaru's full of respect but also an easily seen curiosity. He waited for and watched Sesshomaru's reaction very closely.
The lips thinned, bleached white slightly, "I am no fan of the clan, young Shimofuri." His eyes darted once, loathingly, to the hanyou, "The clan is worthless."
Seeing as his older brother's gaze was so clearly directed at him, Inuyasha immediately took this as an insult that was indirectly meant for him. He reacted to it as such.
"So are you but we still have to put up with all your shit!" Inuyasha shot back, growling.
Sesshomaru's gaze grew especially disgusted now, "I could easily and more accurately say the same of you, little brother."
Shimofuri watched the exchange expressionlessly, though there was a slight glint in his eyes as he flicked his gaze between the brothers, following their banter avidly.
"Well that's funny for you to say, Sesshomaru, when everyone in Japan knows my name, but almost no one outside of the Western Lands has a clue who the hell you are…"
"You were aided by three humans and two other small youkai on all of your quests. You shame our father's lineage with such lowly companions."
"Oh! You're so original!" Inuyasha glared, "And at least I didn't mate someone I raised as a daughter!"
The corners of Sesshomaru's lips turned downward in a brief show of distaste. "This Sesshomaru does not waste time arguing with worthless hanyous…" he looked toward Shimofuri, the brief annoyance he'd shown for Inuyasha immediately gone. "You have come here to speak with me. Why?"
Shimofuri bowed—partly to beg a sort of pardon for having to ask a favor of the demon lord, and partly to make certain that Sesshomaru missed the slight amusement that had crept into his expression, "Lord Sesshomaru, we ask only your permission to cross your lands as allies, not as unwanted trespassers. Will you grant such an honor to us?"
Inuyasha snorted, "Feh! He's got such a huge stick up his ass he'll never—"
Sesshomaru interrupted his younger brother, completely ignoring his derogatory comments, "I will grant it, cousin Shimofuri." He seemed to be a statue, giving no further movement, not even his golden eyes flickered or changed. He was completely detached…or so it seemed.
A second later he spoke again, "But, why, I must ask, does my cousin Lady Taikokajin feel it nessecary to ask me to kill Inuyasha for her?"
The shrill wailing woke her, bit by bit. At first Kagome was shaky, disoriented. What was the sound? Where was it coming from? Could she stop it? Was she responsible for it somehow? Her joints ached when she tried to move, even opening her eyes to look around made her head feel like it was going to explode. Her body protested everything but continual sleep…even so the shrieking was nonstop and incredibly loud. It also spoke to something inside her, a tiny place that still beat and pulsed with a liveliness the rest of her didn't feel at all…that place demanded that she be awake and vigilant, and that she had to deal with the source of the noise and swiftly.
Very slowly Kagome opened her eyes. The room was dark, there were heavy soft, warm things bundled about her that were lighter than the surrounding darkness—furs, she realized, taking the place and purpose of blankets. She was sleeping on a mattress, a futon maybe…the noise itself was coming from directly at her side…it moved.
Memory returned then, slowly, and painfully. Kagome made her own cries, joining those of her tiny, confused and hungry son, as the memories seemed to set off explosions in protest to her wakefulness. She whimpered weakly and fearfully at it, wondering what was wrong with her…
For the past two weeks roughly she'd been a "guest" at Taikokajin's palace, and she'd been bored out of her mind through most of the first week…until the illness came upon her. At first it'd been like a stomach flu: she'd been unable to keep anything down for a few hours and slept with an ugly bowl beside her futon for a few nights. That flu had left her shaky and weak—and though she had eaten heartily Kagome found that there was no pleasure in it and her strength never really returned. For the rest of that week she'd suffered feverish nights, painful joints, and fatigue. Taikokajin had given nothing to her in the way of medicine, although Nikimi had been trying to find something for her: the day before the maid had given Kagome some sour tasting tea that had had an herb in it to calm her fever and soothe her joints—something like Tylenol she suspected.
It hadn't worked, and Kagome was starting to wonder if Taikokajin's lack of care was intentional—were they poisoning her?
Koinu's frantic cries, and scrabbling at her chest with his little clawed hands in frustration, reminded her that she'd been suspecting poison for a long time, but Koinu wasn't any worse for the wear and he received all his nourishment through her. Why, then, if Taikokajin was poisoning her "guest" wasn't Koinu ill? The answer: she wasn't being poisoned and therefore the problem lied somewhere else within her…
The pup's little clawed hands tickled her skin as he clutched at his one and only food source, trying to make her see what he needed. Weakly Kagome reached out to him and pulled him closer, trying to soothe him while she searched for the inner strength she needed to be able to sit up and nurse the pup. His cries quieted a little as he recognized that his mother was awake. He snuggled against her, whimpering and crying with his remaining frustration, little hands clutching her. His tears soaked immediately into the thin kimono robe she was wearing, thank you Nikimi.
Just as she'd sat up and began slipping the robe from one shoulder footsteps resounded in the hall outside. An inner instinct that Kagome hadn't known she possessed seemed to flare up and she froze, stiffening. Koinu sensed this and his cries quieted instinctually, though his little claws grasped onto her tighter than before and he whimpered quietly. His tiny ears flicked and twittered fearfully.
The to their room slid open and even before Kagome saw the older face, the larger frame, and the more expensive kimono, she knew it wasn't the trustworthy Nikimi, but the snakelike Momo—Taikokajin's trusted favorite. Just inside the doorway Momo bowed and remained that way until she spoke, her voice was hesitant and uncertain, as if she had been surprised about something…but what?
"My Lady Inuyasha…" she slowly rose from her bow and walked cautiously forward to Kagome and the whimpering Koinu, her eyes large and shining in the dim light with what most anyone else would've taken to be worry. Yet Kagome was certain that it was tinged with something more conniving just under the surface.
Weakly Kagome pulled her robe back up over her shoulder and cuddled Koinu even closer to her body. "Momo, is it?" she whispered, her voice scratchy and weak from lack of use.
Momo nodded and bowed a second time when she'd come to within three feet of the young mother's bedside. "I'm afraid, my lady, that your child has been crying for a very long time!" she sounded concerned, but Kagome remained suspicious. Against her chest Koinu was beginning to whimper with more intensity. "I was sent to make sure that you and the child were well…Lady Taikokajin would not like it if something bad happened to either of you while you are within her care."
Of course she wouldn't…Kagome had to restrain the desire to roll her eyes sarcastically. "You can tell your lady," she hissed, "That I'm fine, no thanks to her."
Momo looked a little startled, perhaps even insulted. She covered that quickly with yet another bow, this one deeper than the last one, meant to make Kagome feel bad for her accusation, "My mistress knows of your mysterious illness, and she allowed Nikimi to treat you with the herbal tea. Has it not helped you?"
"No…" Kagome fought a sudden wave of dizziness and fatigue. She took a deep breath and let one hand fall away from Koinu to support herself. "I'm still feverish."
Now a sparkle came in Momo's eye that Kagome just missed, but had she seen it she would've instantly been filled with dread, "I shall tell my lady that you are still ill and we shall send more potent tea to treat your illness, Lady Inuyasha…" she paused, her eyes particularly keen suddenly, "But…in the meantime, perhaps you should let someone else nurse the child for you. Illness can pass from mother to child so easily. What only bothers the mother can be fatal to the child. If it's not already too late you should ask for a wet nurse…"
Kagome felt her stomach clench up in horror. What if she's right…? But what if she's just saying it to get Koinu away from me and… Her mind was muddled, confused. Either way she lost. If she kept Koinu he might grow ill and die…if she let him go Taikokajin might—she didn't even want to think about it, the whole situation didn't bode well for her. She squeezed her eyes closed tightly with fear. Inuyasha! Where are you? I need you; we both need you…
"Lady Inuyasha?" Kagome felt the maid's plump, warm hand fall on her still mostly bare shoulder and she flinched, pulling away only to fall back with Koinu sprawled over her chest and belly. The pup started to scream again in protestation.
"Stay away from us!" Kagome shouted over her son's wailing, slapping away Momo's seemingly concerned hands.
"But your child may get sick, my lady!" Momo protested, her voice shrill. But despite her outcry she remained a good distance from Kagome, reserved and withdrawn. "What can I do to make you at ease, Lady Inuyasha?" the words were spoken coldly, and Kagome sensed that Momo was angry, frustrated just beneath the surface. She'd wanted some other response from Kagome and was severely disappointed that she hadn't gotten it.
The feeling of success made Kagome a little less shaky, though the groggy; half-awake feeling remained with her, just behind her eyes. She moved slowly thanks to the pain that shot through her joints and her muscles. "Tea and something good to eat." She answered, clearing her throat as she slowly settled back into a sitting position, rocking and soothing Koinu into quiet ravenous whimpering once more.
Momo bowed, "I shall report this to my mistress and be back soon." She rose and swiftly left the room on now shuffling feet. Kagome noticed the change in her walking—from a thick, heavy tread of confidence to the shuffling, quiet demeanor expected of a maid. Momo is an actress…she thought, shivering.
When the door slid shut and the steady whisking of Momo's feet and robes had vanished away down the hall Kagome sighed with an exhausted relief. The pain in her head swarmed and though she wavered even where she was sitting, nothing stopped her from slipping one shoulder out of her kimono and letting the seemingly starving Koinu satisfy his never-ending hunger.
As soon as her son began to make a contented rumble deep in his little chest—she wasn't sure how he could nurse as much as he did and so often and still have enough empty space to house his lungs as well as his stomach—Kagome settled back under the furs tiredly, shivering.
The pup's little fists tickled and played over her skin, making her smile and tweak his ears. Koinu always seemed, like a real puppy or a kitten, to want to knead her while he nursed, but in the end he only managed to do a child-equivalent of gentle tickling. Never before had she so appreciated the ritual. Never before had she realized just how comforting her little son's presence was…her fingers stilled on the pup's soft, tiny white ears as the image of Taikokajin played itself through her mind.
She shifted, despite the pain it caused her, and the fatigue that dulled her thoughts, onto her side so she could more easily stare down at her precious son, stroke his cheeks and fair, silver hair. The tears came to her eyes before she could stop them. I'm so weak, Koinu…if Taikokajin came and took you from me, would you remember me when you're grown? Would you look that pink-eyed monster in the eye and call her "Mother" even if you knew she wasn't? Kagome's fingers grazed, a feather-soft touch, across Koinu's cheek…the pup opened his eyes and stared up at her. Even through the dark she could see the lingering wetness in the pup's bright blue orbs and the beginnings of what might have been awareness, of an inkling of understanding that his mother was unhappy somehow…or was it just a trick of the light?
I might never be able to find out…but she wanted to, wanted it more than she'd thought it was possible to want something. She wanted to watch Koinu grow up, she wanted to hear his first words, she wanted to see him walk, and she wanted to hear him call her "Mama." Every scream, every first-time, every pain, every smile, every laugh, every tear, every fear, every love, every desire, every accomplishment and every failure…she wanted every moment of it…
Through her blurry, tear-ridden vision, Kagome stroked Koinu's hair and face, silently listening to her son's contented rumbling until at last she fell into the oblivion of sleep on the wordless lullaby her pup trilled for her.
Sorry no endnotes this time, gotta run! GRADUATION!