Warnings: One-sided KuroAka, angst, etc. Short chapter.

Whenever they go out, Kuroko can't help but notice that Akashi gets stared at. A lot. Even though he keeps his hair covered most of the time, as the colour would most likely lead his parents to his tracks sooner or later, people still turn to look at him. Not in a bad way either – their attraction is written on their faces clear as day.

It annoys Kuroko. He has no right to be jealous, as they're not together, but… he doesn't like having to watch the one he likes being stared at so unashamedly. Not that he'd ever say it out loud.

He'd hate to bother Akashi with his unwanted feelings again.

"Kuroko-kun. Has something happened? You've seemed a bit down lately. Is your medication working properly?"

"I'm fine."

The doctor frowns. Kuroko isn't the most talkative patient even on the better days but lately he has seemed even more tight-lipped than usual. And no matter what, he refuses to shed any light on whatever is going on which, to be quite honest, is getting more and more annoying the longer it drags on. Kuroko sees a doctor so that he could get help; not sharing his thoughts and important events of his life is obviously not beneficial to his mental health.

But whatever else he might or might not be, Kuroko is extremely stubborn. Once he sets his mind to something, he sticks to it. If he decides not to talk about a certain thing, then he won't. Sighing to himself, the doctor changes the topic.

"All right then, how about you tell me a bit about the situation at home. You've been living in Osaka for a while now, how do you like it? Is your father still as busy with work as always?"

It's very small, almost unnoticeable, but Kuroko's expression changes a bit. His usual poker face comes back as he shrugs, saying something about how nothing ever really changes.

"But something has changed."

Kuroko looks up, clearly on his guard. "Why do you think that?"

"I'm here to help you, not to be your enemy. You can tell me whatever's on your mind." The doctor smiles encouragingly. In the silence that follows the ticking of the clock on the wall sounds louder than it actually is and it makes them both somewhat nervous.

"He can't stay." The sentence is enough of a non sequitur for the doctor to get completely confused and not know what to say next. Kuroko doesn't have many people in his life and the only logical person for this particular comment to be about is his father but… he couldn't be talking about his father, could he?

"A friend is staying at my place for the time being, and I don't think I can handle his presence much longer." Kuroko's voice is almost inaudible even though there's nothing else making a sound in the room.

"Have you fought with him?"

"No, I… it's my fault. And I know he's uncomfortable with me so I… I think I'll have to ask him to leave." Despite being extremely polite, Kuroko is always very blunt; hearing him hesitating so much over his words is something definitely new.

The doctor frowns, pretending to make notes to buy some time. "So this friend… has he been staying with you for long? Is there any particular reason for it?"

"He ran away from home a few months ago." There's the Kuroko the doctor knows: straight to the point and not afraid to say things as they are.

"I see." He coughs. Kuroko remains motionless. "If you ask him to leave, will he have anywhere to go?"

There's something in Kuroko's posture that tells the doctor that he'd rather not follow the direction the conversation has taken a turn to.

"No."

"And you feel guilty for having to ask him to leave when you know he's going to be on his own if you do?"

"…"

"You clearly really care for your friend, Kuroko-kun. I don't quite understand why you think you can't stand his company anymore."

"No one needs a friend who's in love with them when they have no feelings of that sort," Kuroko replies sharply, his tone almost aggressive. There's a fire in his eyes as he stares at his doctor, as if challenging the man to disagree.

"I… see," the doctor says again, tapping his pen against his notepad as he tries to find something to say. "Your friend knows of your feelings?"

"Yes." There's that unnerving stare of Kuroko's again.

"Do you think he's uncomfortable with staying with you?"

"Maybe."

"Do you really want him to leave or is it just because you're scared of him starting to dislike you?"

Kuroko doesn't reply to that.

(Akashi wouldn't dislike him, not anymore; he already knows of Kuroko's feelings and of his schizophrenia and he's still there. Although it's not like he'd have anywhere else to go so maybe him staying isn't so much about Kuroko after all but rather about having no choice.

And they get along, they have fun, everything is fine. But it hurts. Being so close yet never getting what he wants.

Thinking about kissing Akashi, dreaming of things that will never happen, having to hear about Kagami and his wonderful relationship with his boyfriend… it all frustrates him so. He thought that he could make a change in his life after meeting Akashi. For the first time in his life since his mother left he started to believe that maybe he could be happy.

Which is why having these pointless feelings annoys him so greatly.

Kuroko's had enough of not being happy.)

A/N: this is horribly late and I'm very sorry gahh OTL real life has been a bitch and I haven't had the time or the motivation to write anything for a while now. Also there are a lot of things in this story that I don't like (like how OOC Kuroko is and the dynamics between Akashi and Kuroko) so my motivation for this story has been gradually decreasing haaaa I hate leaving things unfinished tho so I'll try to get this done, even if it'll be slow ;u;

Well, to the people who actually still read and like this: thank you very much! It really means the world to me that you like my shitty writing :') (almost 200 favourites what is this guys this story does not deserve that?)