It was quarter after seven on Saturday night when Jude parked in the parking lot of the nano dorms. Connor had been waiting for him since seven and he squinted at Gerald. Jude was alone in the car and he wondered where Taylor was. Connor clenched his hand around the plastic bag that had his costume in it and then he walked to the passenger side door. His stomach was in knots and his hands were shaking as he let himself into the car.

"You don't have to come."

"I want to. I'm just …" Connor stared down. "It's a lot of people and it's alcohol. And … I'm scared."

"Just stick with me, baby."

Connor's head swung around. "Baby?" he whispered.

"It was just … in my head. If you don't hate it, then I might keep saying it."

"Baby," Connor murmured.

"You might hate pet names, I don't know. I kind of like it."

"Is baby what you called Dylan?" Connor asked. Just because Jude's last relationship was a good one didn't mean that Connor wanted elements of that in their relationship. He wanted what was theirs to be their alone.

"No. Dylan wasn't a fan of pet names. Sometimes he called me 'honey'. Taylor still calls me honey. Sometimes. When she's drunk and I'm the only person around that she can cling to. But, don't worry, she'll probably just flirt with Daria tonight."

Connor reached over and took Jude's hand in his own. He didn't hold it. Instead, he traced his finger along the outline of Jude's hand and then flipped it over to look at his palm and follow the lines of his palm with his thumbnail.

"Do you want to be my baby?" Jude asked in a lilting tone.

"You're cheesy sometimes."

"Do you like it?"

"Yeah. I think cheesy is sweet. I like that you're not afraid of being that way." Connor touched his fingers to Jude's collarbone and then drew his hand up to touch Jude's cheek. "You're soft."

"It's the way I am."

"It's a good way to be," Connor kissed Jude. "I think I'd like it if you called me that."

"Okay, baby," Jude said, and it made Connor feel warm. Jude said it so affectionately it was impossible not to feel cared about. "You know, you can call me whatever you want."

"Anything?"

"Sure."

"So … I can call you Judicorn?"

He held his breath until Jude laughed. "You and Taylor are going to get along too well."

"Where is she?"

"I dropped her off at the motel with the supplies so she could start setting up. Which means more work for her and less work for me," Jude joked. "I think she would have forced me to stay and help if she wasn't so curious about you."

"It worries me," Connor said. "What you might have told her. What if she has expectations that I can't meet?"

"I don't think you need to worry about that. You're good just as you are, baby. Ready?"

"I think so." Connor drew in a deep breath and then he let it out very slowly. "Let's go."

Connor nervously turned up the radio as they drove, focusing on the music instead of a few hours, where there would be lots of people and lots of people who were drinking. He didn't really know how he would feel about it until he was standing there but he knew, sitting here now, that he was apprehensive about it. He knew that it was worrying him to death. He worried so much that he didn't even remember the drive happening. One moment they were just leaving the nano parking lot and the next, Jude was parked in his driveway. Together, they took the fifteen minute walk hand in hand and, before Connor was fully prepared, he was facing a long, two story building.

"Still ready?" Jude asked.

"Yeah. Still ready."

Connor still hesitated, though, until Jude reached out and took his hand. Jude led him up the wooden stairs to the second story, and then they walked along the entire deck, passing several numbered doors until they reached the very end. Jude knocked on the door, and it flew open to reveal a short, slightly chunky, blonde woman who was dressed in tights and a large grey t-shirt.

"Hi!" she said, her eyes locking on Connor. "I'm Taylor."

"I'm Connor." He held out his hand, because he knew that he should and he knew that Dr. Scott would want him to.

Taylor shook his hand more vigorously than Connor expected and he almost started shaking right then and there. She let go of him and grinned brightly.

"How much did you get done?" Jude asked her, shooing her into the room.

"Not much. But, people are coming here to drink and hang out. I don't think anyone's expecting us to decorate it to all hell."

Connor followed Jude, looking around the motel room. It had two beds and a desk in it, along with a small bathroom. Taylor had a punch bowl sitting on the desk, along with liquor and red plastic cups. She had a few Halloween decorations scattered around, the type of things that anyone could have picked up from a dollar store, like cobwebs and a few hanging ghosts. Jude and Taylor talked and Connor walked toward an open door on the left wall, curious about it. He walked peeked inside and there was another motel room that was a mirror image of the one that he was standing in now.

"Daria and Thomas should be here any second," Taylor said. "I'm going to go put my costume on."

Connor looked over his shoulder as Taylor picked up a bag and locked herself in the bathroom. Jude sauntered over to him.

"What do you think?" Jude asked.

Connor tugged Jude out onto the deck and leant against the tall wooden railing. He took a deep breath of the evening air.

"I like that I can come outside," Connor said. "I can breathe out here."

"So if you disappear, I'll know where to find you." Jude rested his chin on Connor's shoulder and kissed his cheek.

"Yeah."

"Going to tell me what your costume is yet?" Jude asked.

"If Taylor's putting hers on, maybe you should put yours on too."

"Yeah, probably. Going to help me with my face paint?"

"Sure. If you want me to."

"I trust you not to poke my eyes out, at this point."

"Your mistake," Connor said dryly, and Jude laughed.

Jude tickled Connor's side and stomach and Connor laughed. He sobered as Jude's fingers grazed one of those spots on his abdomen but, for once, Jude didn't notice. He was already turning to go back into the room, his hand dropping down so that he could pick up Connor's hand. Connor let Jude tug him back inside and they went into the second room so that Jude could change into his costume. Connor sat down on the motel bed, unsure of what to do with himself as he waited for Jude to emerge in his costume. It didn't take Jude long to change and he came padding back out. The little boots that he wore with the costume made strange, slightly crinkly noises as he stepped.

"How do I look?" He held his arms out and spun slowly around in a circle.

"You look good," Connor said.

Jude sat down on the bed next time him and Connor's stomach jumped up. He didn't want to think of the connotations of the bed and how easy it would be for Jude to push Connor down against the bed and do whatever he wanted and Connor would take it because he had learnt not to scream and he had learnt not to fight back and he learnt that it was easier to just close his eyes and pretend that nothing at all was happening, even though he had never learnt to get the pain out of his mind entirely.

Jude rooted around in his bag and handed Connor tubes of face paint and the face paint card from the costume itself. "What do you think?"

Connor thought he needed to calm the hell down. Connor thought that he needed to get over this and everything else. Connor took the face paint from Jude and he couldn't hide how badly his hands were shaking.

"Are you okay?" Jude asked. "What happened?"

"Nothing. Nothing. I'm … I'm fine." Connor took a deep breath and repeated himself. "I'm fine."

"Baby, don't lie to me."

Jude was sweet. Jude called him baby. Jude wasn't going to hurt him. Connor stared at his fingers until they stopped shaking.

"Just working myself up a little." Connor didn't want to admit to Jude how off he truly was. He would feel like a failure and Connor didn't want to feel like a failure. He wanted to feel like he had won and that he was in control of what happened to him and not like what had happened to him was controlling him. He knew it would take a long time to get to that point, but he didn't want to admit how far away he was. "I'm okay. Let's do your face paint."

Connor looked down at the card. It was simple face paint, with a brown nose and large, black, triangle-shaped eyebrows. Connor could do that. Jude sat still, his eyes closed, as Connor picked up the face paint and dabbed some onto his finger. He outlined everything carefully onto Jude's face and then filled it in. He stared at his work critically, but then he reminded himself that it didn't need to be perfect. Jude wasn't expecting it to be perfect.

"I think I'm done."

Jude opened his eyes and smiled at him before walking into the bathroom to check on it. "Looks good!" Jude called.

"What looks good?" Taylor shouted.

"Me!"

Taylor appeared in the doorway and Connor quickly took stock of her costume. She was a Playboy bunny. She stared at Jude critically as he walked out of the bathroom.

"I love it. It looks even better on you than I thought it would, actually." She crossed her arms over her chest and nodded decisively. "Very nice, I approve."

"Connor picked it out," Jude said.

"Good job."

She held up her hand for a hi-five and Connor lightly tapped his hand against hers. He didn't like what a hi-five sounded like.

"Come on," she said. "You can do better than that."

"Oh."

Before he could decide if he was going to try for a better hi-five or not, Connor saw Jude subtly shake his head at Taylor. She tilted her head at him, but then she backed away from Connor. Unease flittered through Connor. What had Jude told her about him? Jude wouldn't tell his secrets, he knew that, but he felt like Jude wasn't treat him as a person, for the moment. Jude was treating him like a kid or someone who couldn't speak for themselves, and Connor hung his head. He could have found a way to brush off Taylor. He could have said something like 'better luck next time' or 'a hi-five is a one-shot deal'. They definitely weren't smart things to say but they were things that he could have said that she would have accepted.

There was a knock at the door and Taylor squeaked out "Daria!" before heading off to the other room to answer it. Connor picked up the bag that held his costume and stood up. He supposed that it was time for him to get ready.

"What's the face?" Jude asked.

Connor stared down at his feet. He couldn't lie to Jude and he knew himself well enough to know that he wasn't going to be able to just brush this off. He didn't want to let things fester with Jude. "I … I knew you talked to Taylor about me. I just d-didn't think you … told her about my … ex. I didn't think you'd tell her the things that I told you …"

"Oh, no, no. I didn't. Connor …" Jude took Connor's hands in his own and Connor made himself look into Jude's eyes. "What I told Taylor was that you didn't like to be touched, since she might have tried to give you a hug when she met you, and I knew that wouldn't be okay. I didn't tell her anything else about your ex or about what happened to you. I know you're putting your trust in me when you tell me that sort of thing. I'm not going to betray that."

Connor turned his head as a girl's shrill voice reached him from the other room. "Drinking, Taylor?"

"It's Coke!" Taylor replied. "Am I not allowed to enjoy soda or …?"

Jude rolled his eyes. "Ignore them. They bicker more than an old married couple."

"You don't want to drink before the party's gotten started, anyway," A male voice chimed in. Connor guessed that it was Daria's boyfriend, Thomas. "Otherwise you're passed out while everyone else is still having fun."

"He has a point," Taylor said.

Connor turned his attention back to Jude and Jude was staring anxiously at him.

"Please believe me," Jude said. "I wouldn't do that to you."

"I don't think you'd hurt me on purpose," Connor said. "I just … I can talk for myself, okay?"

"Okay." Jude kissed his forehead and Connor would have melted into it, were it not for the fact that Jude hadn't said – "And I'm sorry, okay? I didn't mean to. I guess I just want this to go as easily as it can for you and I overstepped it. I'll watch myself a little better from now on, okay?"

That. Exactly that. Jude could admit that he was wrong and Jude could try to change. If Jude really did change and if Jude really did watch himself from now on … It was more than Connor could have hoped for. He was used to always being in the wrong and to never have someone admit that they were in the wrong.

"Thank you."

"Now, go get your costume on," Jude said. "I'll be right here because I can't wait to see."

Jude sat on the end of the bed and bounced once, grinning happily at Connor. Connor took a deep breath, picked up his bag, and went into the bathroom. He took off his plaid shirt and stared at his arms, as he always did, and he touched his hand to one of the scars along his arms. Through his years with his ex, he hadn't avoided scars. He wondered what Jude would say if he ever saw them. Connor didn't know if he ever wanted Jude to see them. He closed his eyes and turned his back on the mirror, picking out the white button up that he had packed for himself. He put that on instead and then he smoothed his hands along his black pants. His costume was very simple. He dug in the bag and picked out hair gel. He slicked his hair back tightly. Then, he pulled on the black vampire cape with the red lining. He very loosely tied it and then he studied his face. He didn't want to put face paint on. He felt too dumb to stick his fangs in his mouth right now, and so he put them in his pocket. He tied the sides of his plastic bag up and then stepped back into the motel room.

Jude looked like he hadn't moved. "Hey! I like it! Nice hair."

Connor touched his head self-consciously and was met with the unfamiliar feeling of gel. He hadn't known how his hair would go back, now that it was long and shaggy. When he was with his ex he'd been kept to very short hair, he hadn't had to do anything with it. Now, he was just unsure about how he felt about his hair as a whole.

"Should I call you Dracula tonight?" Jude asked.

"I think you've given me enough names today."

"That's true. Here, stick your stuff in the dresser and I'll go introduce you to Daria and Thomas."

Connor carefully placed his bag in the empty upper drawer of the motel dresser. Jude put his hand on the small of Connor's back and they walked into the second motel room together. Taylor was sitting on one bed and, on the other, was seated a thin girl with dark skin and thick, curly hair who was dressed as Tinkerbell. Behind her, flat on his back, was a short, Asian man who was dressed as a reaper. He had his feet resting against the wall and was playing with Daria's hair.

"Hey, Thomas, Daria, this is Connor. Connor, this is Taylor's roommate, Daria, and her boyfriend, Thomas."

Connor shook their hands, breathing out a small hello. He was glad when he was able to tuck himself back against Jude's side, sitting behind Taylor on the bed. Daria did a lot of talking, filling Jude in on what was going on at school, and Jude asked questions when expected. Connor found himself tracing circles on Jude's back. Connor could have stayed like that all night – just friendly people sitting around and talking. But before Connor knew it, all of Jude's and Taylor's invited guests had arrived and there was no safe place for Connor to go. The motel rooms weren't all that big and there was just enough people to cover all of the sitting spaces. Connor had managed to avoid shaking most people's hands, nodding at a few of them. He was quickly forgotten by most people in favour of the friends that they had in the room, and he was more than a little grateful for that.

Connor was leaning against the back wall, mostly just watching people. Taylor was sitting on the bed in front of him, and though Jude – along with his beer – had gone into the next room, following a couple of co-workers, Connor didn't feel any panic. Taylor was more than happy to sit there and ask him questions about his relationship with Jude and tell him about Jude, and Connor was happy to talk to her. She'd been continually filling up her plastic cup and Connor knew that she'd started adding alcohol, but he didn't really seem drunk except for the occasional little slur in her words.

"Ask me anything," Taylor told him. "Anything."

Connor took a breath. He knew there were things that he wanted to ask Taylor but it would almost feel like a betrayal of Jude's trust.

"Anything … Hey, do you want to know about Dylan?"

Connor nodded. It wasn't that much of a violation. Jude was perfectly willing to tell him about Dylan and it wasn't as though he asked. Taylor had offered!

"He wasn't as cute as you," Taylor told him, taking little pauses between every word. "You're very cute."

"Thank you."

"He and Jude said I love you but I don't know if they meant it," Taylor continued, shaking her head. "Not like real love. But I guess that makes sense. Does anyone feel real love when they're, like … however old we were in grade ten."

Connor shrugged. That sort of subject was something that he had been struggled with. Had he really loved his ex? He'd been with him for five years, from fifteen to twenty, and he had said 'I love you' through all of those years. How much had he meant it? How much could he have meant it, after everything that he'd been put through? And if he really had meant it, when would he be free from it?

"Have you ever been in love?" Taylor squinted at him. "Have you had sex? 'Cause Jude hasn't and I think he should."

"Oh, I –"

Connor couldn't think of anything to say, but Taylor wasn't quite done.

"But Dylan was his boyfriend and he doesn't call you boyfriend. Has he just not asked you? 'Cause that doesn't seem like a very Jude thing. He's a stupidly hopeless romantic. He doesn't really let anyone see it though."

Connor really had nothing to say to that. "I'm … going to go get some air."

He had to carefully slide through bodies to get out the door, but he was glad to find that the balcony was completely unoccupied. He sat on the ground, tucking himself into the corner. Then, he pulled his cape from his back to around his front, hiding himself underneath of it. He leant his head against the railing, thinking about what Taylor had said about Jude being a romantic. Then, he began to feel guilty. He knew that Jude wanted to call him his boyfriend, but had he underestimated how much Jude wanted it? And how far of a leap was it from 'together' to 'boyfriend' and 'relationship'? 'Boyfriend' seemed more like an indication that he was property and it had been used against him in the past. Because he was a boyfriend, there were expectations and things that he had to do for his own boyfriend. But Connor thought of what he had told Adam. Jude was himself. He wasn't like anyone Connor had ever known, and he certainly wasn't like Connor's ex.

Connor looked up as the motel room door opened and he worried about which of the partygoers he'd come face to face with. Connor had been haphazardly introduced to all of them, but he didn't really remember any of their names. Mostly, he'd been dead set on staying out of their way, particularly as most of them came in carrying their own booze. Connor didn't know if any of them were violent drunks but there was about a million things he'd rather do than find out what kind of drunk any of them were.

But it wasn't a random person. It was Jude. Jude took a seat next to Connor, but he sat so that they were facing one another, with Jude's side against Connor's drawn knees and Jude's bent knees touching Connor's shoulder.

"Hey," Jude said softly.

Connor reached out and touched his fingers to the bottom of the beer bottle that Jude was holding. It was cold and full. "A new one."

"A new one. My last one," Jude said. "What are you doing out here?"

"Thinking."

"About anything important?"

"You."

"So, no?"

Jude smiled at him, but Connor couldn't smile back. He felt too serious. "I'm sorry. We should have this conversation when you're sober."

"I'm not drunk."

Connor had to admit he didn't sound drunk.

"A little buzzed, maybe, but I'm not drunk. If you want to talk, I can definitely do that. And I'd rather do that then let you stew."

"I want to play a game," Connor said.

"Sure." Jude put his bottle down and crossed his arms over the tops of Connor's knees. Connor reached out and touched Jude's nose. "You okay, though?"

"Yeah."

"So, what kind of game are we playing?"

"I'm going to say a word and I want you to tell me the first thing that comes into your head."

"All right," Jude said. "I've got this."

Connor paused, wondering where to start. "Possession."

"Thing."

"Person."

"Not a thing." Jude gave him a lopsided smile. "Sorry, best I could do."

"That's okay. Um, friend."

"Uh … safe."

"Boy."

"Girl?"

"Boyfriend."

"Love."

Connor hesitated and then repeated, "Love."

"Happiness," Jude said. "Why are we playing this game, baby?" Before Connor could answer, Jude's face brightened. "I like calling you that."

"I like you calling me that, too," Connor said. "I was thinking … why not call me boyfriend too?"

"Are you sure?" Jude asked. "I know that it was a big thing for you."

"Honesty, right?"

"Right," Jude said.

Connor took a deep breath. "I … I know that you want this. I know that you want to call me that. I want to be able to do that for you. But I need you to promise me some things first."

"Let's talk about it, at least," Jude said. "I want us both to be happy."

Jude pressed a kiss to his knee and Connor decided that he loved the little bits of affection that Jude did. Little things like that made him feel constantly cared about. Jude wasn't going to disrespect him.

"I … I don't want to be c-called 'boyfriend'. L-l-like as a nickname."

"Okay. You'll be baby." Jude smiled and Connor felt comforted.

"I don't think I'd mind being in introduced as your boyfriend."

"Good, because that would be the point," Jude joked.

"Um, this is the serious one," Connor said, as Jude took a sip of his beer.

"Let's hear it."

Connor took a deep breath, because it was the hard one to say. But he knew that he had to say that. More than that, he knew that he had to mean it. "If … If you ev-ever said that b-b-because I'm y-your b-boyfriend I h-h-had t-to do s-something, ev-even if you were j-joking, I … would never talk to you again."

"Like, if I said because you were my boyfriend you had to kiss me or had to be the one to get food from the fridge?"

"Yeah," Connor murmured.

"Okay. Not a big deal."

"Jude?"

"Mhm?"

"If … how …" Connor pulled his vampire cape closer to him. "What would change if we were boyfriends?"

"From how we are now? Nothing. Not unless we were ready for something to change."

Connor moved his cape out of the way and leant toward Jude. He could smell beer on his breath and Connor almost leant away again. The sour smell threatened to overwhelm him, and so Connor tucked his head so the scent was gone but he could still look up at Jude. Jude's hand rested against his ribs.

"What are you thinking?" Jude asked.

Connor wasn't entirely sure but he knew that he had to say something. "I'm scared of being a possession again."

"You're a person." Jude draped himself further across Connor's knees so that they were nearly nose to nose. "You'll never be my possession; that's not what boyfriend means. You'll be my boyfriend and I'll be yours, but you still make your own rules and do your own thing, you just take me along with you sometimes."

He wasn't nearly as eloquent as Jude normally was and Connor blamed the beer that was sitting at his side. Still, his voice was as caring as always, and Connor believed what he was saying.

"You're running the show here, Connor. We're moving at your pace because I just want to be with you and I want you to be comfortable with that."

That sounded a little more like Jude. "But you want to call yourself my boyfriend."

"Yeah, I do. When you're ready." Jude kissed Connor's knee again. "Why did this come up?"

"Taylor … j-just mentioned something …"

"She's a talkative drunk," Jude said. "I should have prepared you for that. And you don't need to listen to her."

"But was she wrong?"

Jude paused and he took another drink from the beer, which was nearly halfway finished by now. "No. She's not."

Connor picked up Jude's beer bottle and played with it, being careful not to spill a drop. He watched Jude's face carefully. Alcohol had been a tricky beast with his ex. His ex had a drink fairly regularly, but it wasn't something that Connor had been allowed access to. Rarely, though it did happen, his ex would make Connor a drink when he poured himself his usual rum and Coke or he would give Connor a can of beer on a hot summer's night. Connor had always been expected to drink all of it, like it was a gift and Connor wasn't allowed to waste it. It was never something that Connor was allowed to get for himself and if he had touched his ex's alcohol without permission, there would have been hell to pay. He was possessive over his alcohol.

Jude was watching him with interest, but not like he was going to kill Connor for touching the bottle. "You can have some if you want."

Connor put the bottle down. He really didn't want. "I was just testing you."

"Do you do that a lot?"

"Not intentionally."

Jude nodded and took another drink. He cuddled even closer to Connor, who ran his hand through Jude's hair.

"You're an affectionate drunk," he observed.

"A little bit," Jude said.

"I … I think I'd like to be your boyfriend, Jude."

Jude sat up and Connor felt cold in the places he had just occupied. "You don't need to just because I want to. That's not what we are –"

"We aren't me controlling everything, either. It's supposed to be the both of us, right? I … I can do this for you." He took one of Jude's hands and tightly squeezed him. "Do you want to be my boyfriend, Jude?"

"Yeah, I do." Jude's expression transformed into one of the most beautiful smiles that Connor had ever seen. "We're boyfriends."

Connor nodded and his stomach fluttered strangely. He knew that he didn't hate it and he knew that it wasn't going to send him spiralling backward but he didn't know if he could say that he liked it. He knew that he could deal with it, though, especially once he saw Dr. Scott again. But, since Jude was looking at him like that, Connor knew that he had said the right thing and made the right decision. Jude was his boyfriend. The words didn't completely sit right, but they didn't feel wrong either.

"I'm going to take you on a date," Connor decided. "You've been doing everything and I … I'm g-going to look around. And take you."

"I like the sound of that."

"And I'm going to kiss you," Connor said, "But I'm going to do that now."

"I like it when you're a little bossy."

"I don't want to be bossy."

"Just kiss me, baby."

"See, that's bossy."

"Are you going to kiss me or not?"

And Jude was so beautiful and so sweet that Connor couldn't stand to banter anymore. He leant forward and so did Jude, and then Jude was kissing him. He fell into Jude's arms and he could have stayed there, with his soft kisses. Jude was so considerate, with one hand on Connor's back and the other on his ribs, Connor just felt completely comforted by his hold. Jude wasn't suffocating, even as a boyfriend, though Connor knew that morning would have to come before what he had done tonight completely sunk in.

Jude softly ended the kiss and then touched his lips to Connor's forehead. Connor reached up and pressed his fingers to Jude's cheek.

"What do you think?" Jude asked. "Do you want to go back in or do you want me to sit with you out here while you call a cab?"

"I don't think I –" Connor cut himself off as the motel room door closest to them flew open. He recognized Taylor being angrily shoved through the door by Daria, who slammed the door behind her.

"What the fuck!?" Daria yelped.

Connor curled into a ball, bringing his knees to his chest. He didn't want yelling.

"I'm allowed to do what I want!"

"What's going on?" Jude asked, turning around to face the duo.

"What do you mean what's going on?" Daria demanded. "She's drinking."

"So are you," Jude said. "Wait … Why are you drinking?"

"Why not?" Daria said. "Why aren't you yelling at her too? She told me she told you about her baby!"

"What!?"

Connor dropped his head against his knees. He'd never heard Jude be so loud. But Jude's focus wasn't on him. Jude jumped to his feet.

"You're pregnant!?"

"What did she tell you?" Daria asked.

"That you were pregnant!" Jude said.

"Taylor! You told me Jude was helping you! You told me he told you not to go for adoption!"

"Wait a minute! I never said anything about this pregnancy," Jude cried. "Even when I thought it was yours! She told me that you were thinking that abortion was the best thing for her!"

"Which is what I'm doing!" Taylor shouted. "It's what I want! This thing is going to be gone in less than a week! I'm allowed to have a drink!"

"But it's still inside of you! And you have an obligation to not get it drunk!" Daria yelped.

"No!" Taylor yelled. "I am mine! It's like it doesn't exist!"

"Taylor –"

"Don't talk to me, Daria! I don't want anything to do with you!"

Connor squeezed his eyes shut as one set of footsteps ran away from him and another headed back into the motel. He didn't move, even as he heard Jude's heavy footsteps rush away from him.

"TAYLOR!" Jude yelled.

Connor didn't move. He didn't know if it was okay to move or safe to move. He knew that it was safer to stay still until he felt someone's presence crouch down next to him.

"Connor," Jude said. "Are you okay?"

"Uh-huh," he managed, though he still didn't move.

"Taylor decided that she didn't want to stay and that she wants to go back to my place. I'm going to go talk to Daria and then go with her. What do you want to do?"

"Oh. Um, I …"

"You can call a cab and then come with me, okay?"

"Taylor's upset."

"I know and I'm going to try and talk to her, but I think she might try to kill me. She doesn't seem to want to talk much right now," Jude said, sighing. "You're not going to be in the way if you come with me, if that's what you were trying to say."

"Oh. I … I'm scared to stay here w-without you."

"Okay. I'll get your clothes from the dresser. I shouldn't be more than ten minutes, okay?"

Connor managed a nod and then he sunk back into his fetal positon, not willing to move until Jude came back, only a few minutes later. Connor lifted his head to face his new boyfriend and Jude helped him up off the deck. Jude held his hand tightly as they walked down the steps to meet Taylor, who had her arms angrily over her chest. She didn't acknowledge either of their presences; she just stalked down the street, leading the way to Jude's apartment. Connor didn't feel comfortable starting a conversation, and he knew that Jude wasn't in the mood to talk, and so he stayed silent for the uncomfortable journey.

Jude pressed his keys into Connor's hand as they walked down the stone path.

"Go in and make your phone call," he said. "Taylor and I are going to talk out here."

"Taylor has nothing to say!" she said angrily.

"Jude does!" he fired back.

Connor dropped Jude's hand and scampered ahead of Taylor, unlocking the door before either of his companions reached the deck. He didn't like the feeling of being in Jude's apartment all by himself but he knew that he couldn't stand being out on the deck with Taylor and Jude. He didn't bother to turn on a light as he went. He sat on the couch and pulled up one of the two numbers he had found for cab companies in the area. He kept his eyes on the door's window, watching Jude's silhouette move about.

No one picked up when he called. He got nothing but a busy signal. With a twisting in his stomach, he tried the second number, only to be told that it would be three to four hours until they could get a cab to him. It was Halloween and they were busy, and although Connor understood, it didn't make it any easier to realize that his only two options were to stay at Jude's or to walk home and, as Jude had said, it was a dangerous night to walk home. Connor didn't want to push his luck. He pulled his knees up to his chest. When he and Jude had been talking about the possibility of him staying over, Jude had never mentioned Taylor's presence as a possibility and Connor had never considered it. He let his vampire cape fall to the floor and he wrapped Jude's plaid blanket protectively around himself.

Jude's front door opened and Jude flicked on the light. Connor blinked in the sudden brightness, as Taylor stormed across the apartment and into the bathroom. With a tired sigh, Jude sat on the couch next to Connor.

"What's the plan?" Jude asked.

"I … I … I think I'm going to have to walk home."

"Baby, no. Halloween on campus can get mean and I …" Jude took a deep breath. "Of course, if you wanted to go, I'm not going to stop you. I'm just saying, it's really not the best idea tonight."

"I … think staying would be worse."

"Taylor and I can share my bed. The couch will be all yours."

"Fuck you!" Taylor shouted.

Jude hung his head. "Okay. Taylor will take the couch, you can take the bed, and I'll survive on the floor."

"I'll take the floor. I can't make you –"

"It'll be easier this way."

Connor saw no choice. "Then sleep with me."

"What?"

"Uh …" Connor mentally berated himself. "I meant … it's just a bed, right? It's not like … anything will happen. And … and, I-I-I d-d-don't want to, um, kick you out of … of your own b-bed."

He couldn't do this. He just couldn't do this.

"No, no, of course it won't."

"Um, I'm going to go call my dad," Connor said. "On … On the deck."

"Okay. Um, I'll leave some pyjamas in the bathroom for you to borrow, okay?"

"Jude, long sleeves, please?"

Jude frowned and his fingers brushed Connor's bicep. Connor wanted to tell him that his biceps weren't really the problem, but he didn't have the words.

"Sure. If that's what you want."

"Thank you."

The bathroom door opened. Connor fled to the deck and he took the plaid blanket with him, not thinking twice about it. Jude's small deck had a slightly worn barbeque in one corner, along with two plastic lawn chairs. Connor didn't sit in either of the chairs. Instead, he sat down on the worn boards, staring up at the dark sky as he called his father.

"Connor?" Adam sounded sleepy and Connor realized that he hadn't checked the time. "Are you okay? How's everything? How's the party? Are you in the cab?"

"I … I'm at Jude's. I … d-d-don't th-think … I mean, I'm … I'm not … g-getting a cab."

"Are you ready for a sleepover?"

He was such a child. And Connor resented being treated like that. He was an adult. Just because he was an unsure adult and an adult who needed a lot of advice, didn't mean that he was a child. He could be trusted to make his own decisions.

"It just … happened. It would take so long to get a cab and I'm … here."

"On the couch, right?"

"Well … no."

"Connor."

"He has another friend here and she needs her space more than I do –"

"Take care of you."

"No, Dad, she needs it. I can survive … one night."

"You need to call me the moment you get home in the morning."

"I know. I will."

"And call me if you need anything."

Connor agreed, but he didn't know what good it would do. Adam couldn't do anything; he was too far away. He said goodnight to his father and then he lingered on the porch for a minute, taking some slow and steady breaths. He knew that he wouldn't be able to completely calm the storm inside of him and he forced himself back into Jude's apartment.

He'd never felt the atmosphere so tense at Jude's. Jude's always seemed like a nice, welcoming place. But Taylor was laying down on the couch with the blanket pulled over her head and Connor could feel how angry she was from here. That was more than enough to make him linger in the threshold, unsure of how to proceed until Jude, who was standing in the kitchen, beckoned him forward. Connor tripped to Jude's side.

"I put some pyjamas in the bathroom for you, okay? Do you want anything else?"

Connor shook his head.

"Are you sure you're going to be okay?"

Connor hesitantly nodded.

"If you get too uncomfortable during the night, just poke me awake. In an hour or two, I should be more than okay to drive you home. Promise me you'll do that if you need to?"

"Oh … Um. I'll try," Connor said, knowing that there was no way that he would be able to wake Jude up from a sleep. He knew that it was something that he would never be comfortable with. He put his arms out and Jude hugged him. "Will Taylor be okay?"

"Yeah. Daria and I both … overreacted a little, I think. But she lied to me and that hurt," Jude whispered in Connor's ear. "We'll work through it. We'll be okay to talk about tomorrow, I think."

Connor hid his face in Jude's shoulder. He was out of his costume and into a white t-shirt and black sweatpants and he was soft for Connor to cuddle against. Jude held him for a few minutes, running his hand gently up and down Connor's spine.

"I'm tired, baby," Jude murmured. "Do you want to get ready for bed?"

Not really. Connor wasn't ready to go to bed because he wasn't ready to face falling asleep next to someone. There would be two people in the room and Connor felt outnumbered. Anything could happen. But he kissed Jude on the jaw and then he went into Jude's bathroom. He turned his back on the mirror and faced the washer and dryer, picking up the long sleeve dark blue shirt Jude had given him. He left his undershirt on, just to give himself an extra layer. The shirt was tight against his upper arms, but Connor could deal with it. It was better than having no shirt at all. The grey sweatpants he'd been given were long on him and Connor felt bad about stepping on the cloth. He tucked his nose under the collar and breathed in the scent of Jude. It was a nice smell and when Connor inhaled again, a feeling of comfort overcame him. It wasn't enough to make him confident, but it was enough for him to feel like he might be able to get through it. He pulled the plaid blanket up over his shoulders and left the bathroom.

He turned off the bathroom light. Jude's room was dimly lit, the only light coming from the nightstand on his bed. Jude was seated on the edge of his mattress and Connor realized that he hadn't seen Jude's bed before. He'd always had the black curtains drawn up around it. Jude slept in a nest of blankets and pillows and they were strewn in a mess around the bed. Connor wondered if he ever made it up and he felt his fingers itched. He couldn't imagine not making his bed every day.

"What side are you going to be more comfortable on?" Jude asked, keeping his voice low.

Connor glanced at the couch, but Taylor was still hidden under her large blanket. He didn't answer until he was right in front of Jude. He didn't want to bother her at all.

"I like being against the wall," he admitted. "If … if that's not where you want to be."

"I'm comfy anywhere. Come on."

Connor heard the exhaustion in Jude's voice and he didn't say anything else. He carefully skirted around Jude to climb to the wall. He tried not to move anything as he laid down on one of the large, fluffy pillows and spread the plaid blanket over himself. He squeaked as Jude began to draw the curtains around the bed.

Jude looked back at him. "Not okay?"

"If … if it's h-h-how y-you sleep …"

"I'll leave a bottom section open," Jude said, maneuvering the curtain so that Connor could see a break in the cloth. "I just can't sleep if the curtain's not drawn up by my head. How's that?"

"B-better. Thank you."

"Okay. Goodnight, baby."

Jude flopped down on his side of the bed, his back turned to Connor. Connor laid stiffly on his back, staring upward at the low white ceiling about the two of them. It felt like he had been staring for both a few seconds and an eternity when Connor realized that Jude was already asleep. He closed his eyes, thinking that he should do his best and try to sleep too. He thought that, even if he couldn't sleep, he might be able to get himself to a state of relaxation, but then he heard Taylor get up off the couch. He went utterly stiff, terrified that she was going to come near the bed. He couldn't talk himself down, even as went to the bathroom and came back out, going straight to the couch.

Jude turned in his sleep and Connor's heart leapt into his throat. He held his breath and tried to push the tears out of his eyes. Jude was asleep. Jude wasn't thinking anything malicious. But Jude's foot brushed up against Connor's ankle and immediately he felt like he was going to vomit. He had to do something, but he had to do something that wouldn't bother Jude or Taylor. He couldn't leave the bed. He couldn't wake either of them up. He took a deep breath and then slowly sat up, checking after every movement that Jude was still fast asleep. Connor slowly began to move around several of Jude's two dozen pillows. He built a soft wall between Jude and himself. He knew that he had to give Jude most of the bed space, and he left himself only a little sliver. He had to lay on his side with his back to the wall to fit into it, but it made him feel more comfortable, oddly enough. He felt protected.

But he wasn't entirely comfortable. Jude moved a bit in his sleep and every time that he moved, Connor flinched back against the wall. He closed his eyes, but he found them popping open with every rustle of the sheets. He couldn't let himself drift off. Connor had felt safe with someone before, and that had come back to bite him; he had ended up not being safe with him at all. The night hours waned away, and Connor found himself trapped in the past.

Try as he might, that night, the nightmares came.

The chapter's title is after the song Un-thinkble (I'm Ready) by City And Colour. If you have a song that reminds you of Barefoot And Bruised and would like it to be on the playlist – and possibly a chapter title – send it in and let me know! I'd love to hear your playlist suggestions! (Chapter titles are mostly chosen via shuffle.)

So, on tumblr I'm: we are all of legend now (with dashes between every word). If you want to find my replies to anon reviews, add backslash tagged backslash anon dash replies. If you want to see anything I post about Barefoot And Bruised, go to my tumblr URL and add backslash tagged backslash barefoot dash and dash bruised dash. Punctuation is spelled out due to Fanfiction's restrictions. If you're having any trouble accessing the tumblr content please send me a pm and I can format it for you in a different way.

~TLL~