Disclaimer: I still own nothing.
Author's note: I hope everyone had an epic holiday! So here is a longer chapter for ya'll. Now as I said in my summary of the overall story, this DOES NOT follow a strict plot. So I have placed Tonks at Hogwarts with the Golden Trio, but she was in Ravenclaw, so she didnt see much of them of course because I have palced her three years above them, and Tonks in this is a genius, and very gifted witch like Hermione so she trained early for the Auror position. So like I said it doesnt follow the story! But that is what fanfiction is about. And I know that Hermione agonizes about Andromeda alot in this chapter, but wouldnt you if you had slept with her two sisters? No hateful comments, only constructive words. So as always read and review!
Chapter Twenty: Revelations
Hermione and Tonks shared polite conversation on their two hour drive to her parent's house. All the while Hermione was screaming inside, she had no idea what to expect when they arrived, for all she knew Andromeda could hex her into oblivion without a second thought. Even though she tried, Tonks couldn't think of anything else to say that would make Hermione feel any better. She also couldn't really understand why Hermione was so afraid of meeting her mum. Though she supposed it might have something to do with her having slept with Bellatrix and Narcissa. Tonks tried to tell her that her mum wouldn't be too concerned about that, after all they were all grown women and could make their own decisions. Tonks placed a hand on Hermione's thigh snapping her out of her reverie.
"We are here Mione." Tonks said pointing to a house up on top of the hill.
Hermione forgot all about her fears as she stared at the house. It wasn't very big, but it was two stories, with a porch that went all the way around the side and a large swing on the front porch next to the door. Hermione noticed a tall, big bellied man with light hair and a huge grin on his face, Hermione knew that this was Tonks's father. She looked sideways at Tonks and could see that her eyes had lit up and she was smiling just a wide as the man on the porch. Tonks pulled into the drive way and turned off the car, and before Hermione could even get off her seat belt saw Tonks launch herself at the man.
"Dad!" Tonks said excitedly.
"Dora!" Her father said hugging her tightly, lifting her off the ground and twirling her in the air.
"You're hair looks so gorgeous! You look so like your mum, beautiful." Ted said.
"Thank you dad, you don't look too shabby yourself." Tonks replied.
"Yes well getting old is treating me well." Ted laughed into Tonk's hair.
Hermione beamed at the scene in front of her, and got out of the car. Tonks, hearing the car door close, let go of her father and gestured for Hermione to come and join them. Hermione walked towards the duo and walked up the three steps onto the porch.
"Dad, I would like you to meet Hermione, Hermione Granger." Tonks said.
"Nice to finally meet you Hermione, I am Ted, Ted Tonks." Ted said smiling widely at her.
Hermione extended her hand to shake his but instead he scooped her up in his arms, hugging her tightly. Hermione gasped in surprise as she tried to return the hug.
"Dad! Put her down, you don't want to crush her!" Tonks said indignantly looking at her father.
"Oh, I am sorry; I am just too happy to see you both." Ted said putting Hermione back on the ground.
"Nice to meet you as well Mr. Tonks." Hermione said.
"You may call me Ted if you like." He said.
Hermione smiled.
"Let me get your bags." He said walking towards the car.
He got the bags out of the trunk and he followed his daughter and Hermione into the house. Tonks led her up the stairs and down the hall into s bedroom. Ted followed shortly and set the bags down on the floor next to the door.
"Where is mum?" Tonks asked turning from Hermione to her father.
"She went into town to get some stuff for dinner, I expect she will be back soon. " Ted replied looking at his daughter.
"Oh, um where is Hermione sleeping?" Tonks asked.
"In here with you." Ted replied simply.
"What? You're letting us sleep in the same room?" Tonks asked looking at her father in shock.
"Of course Dora!" Ted replied laughing.
"Mum agreed to this did she?" Tonks asked raising a chestnut eyebrow.
"Well she won't have a choice; it isn't as if you two can get one another pregnant." Ted said still laughing.
Tonks looked thoughtful for a moment and Hermione made a mental note to ask her what she was thinking, but shook the thought when Ted hugged Tonks again.
"Look Dora, she won't have a choice, it doesn't matter to me, I trust you two and I know you will be respectful. You are both grown women and Dora I know you would barricade your room in case things get a little…out of hand." Ted explained.
Tonks beamed but Hermione looked shocked. He was actually saying that he expected them not to be able to contain themselves while they were here, this thought made her feel a little embarrassed and she flushed.
"Well, I will give you ladies some time to settle in before your mum gets back Dora. Dinner will be at 6." He said leaving the room.
He left the room, closing the door behind him. Tonks took Hermione's hand and pulled her close.
"I told you, you would be alright." Tonks whispered against Hermione's lips.
"I'm sorry I worried so much." Hermione said softly.
Tonks smiled and closed the distance between them, Hermione moaned softly running her hands through Tonks's chestnut hair. she pulled away after a few minutes and looked around the room, beaming at the familiar everyday Muggle objects.
"Your house really is beautiful Dora." Hermione said.
"Yeah well Muggle life isn't so bad. I like it; it makes life so much easier, no complications, much easier to deal with." Tonks replied.
"Yes I quite agree, I like simplicity. It makes living so much more desirable. I just wish that some things wouldn't become so complicated at the most in opportune times." Hermione said.
"It will get easier Mione…I mean it has taken me a long time to get to where I am, and I have you to thank for that. If it wasn't for you, I think I would have just faded away." Tonks said.
"Well I am glad that you didn't fade away, because if you had, I wouldn't be here in this wonderful place with you." Hermione said pulling Tonks back into a kiss.
This time it was Tonks who let go, she knew that if she kept kissing Hermione in this state that she would end up with her on the bed writhing beneath her.
"Fancy a walk?" Tonks asked.
"Yes, I would like that," Hermione replied smiling.
They left the room and walked down the stairs, Ted was sitting in the living room watching the Muggle news.
"Dad, Hermione and I are going for a walk." Tonks said as they made their way to the front door.
"Your mum should be back soon, you two girls have fun." Ted said beaming at them.
Tonks nodded and led Hermione out into the afternoon sun. Hermione took in a deep breath. Letting the crisp, cool air caress her lungs, she smiled.
"You know Mione; you are even more beautiful when you smile." Tonks said extending her hand.
Hermione took it.
"Thank you." Hermione said.
"I know how difficult it is to put on a genuine smile sometimes. But when you're with someone who makes you smile, you feel better." Tonks said.
Hermione didn't respond she just took a look at her surroundings; Tonks couldn't have brought her to a more beautiful place. Tonks led her away from the house down a narrow path, it looked as if it had been used frequently, and it was sharp and clear in the dirt. They walked in silence for a few minutes, just enjoying each other's company. Tonks led Hermione down the winding trail that went down into the trees. After a few minutes she stopped and motioned for Hermione to sit down with her. They had stopped on the edge of a small cliff that over looked a wide valley that stretched on for miles.
"Wow…Dora this is beautiful!" Hermione said excitedly joining Tonks on the ground.
"I know, I used to come here a lot growing up. I spent a lot of time here thinking." Tonks replied.
A few moments silenced passed in which Hermione took Tonks's hand in hers once more.
"You make me so happy Mione. I don't know why I ever let you go all those years ago." Tonks said looking at their interlocking fingers.
"We were going in different directions…and I think that it was the best thing to do at the time. We were still so young; I mean who knows where we would be today if we hadn't split up." Hermione said.
"True, even it was brief; those were still some of the best days of my life Mione. I was happy then and I am happy now sitting here with you." Tonks said.
"Ginny used to make me feel happy." Hermione said bitterly.
Tonks tensed at the mention of Ginny's name, she wasn't sure why Hermione was bringing her up.
"Remus used to make me happy as well." Tonks said.
"We just fell apart, I am not sure when or why. One day or at some point everything changed." Hermione said, completely ignoring Tonks's statement.
"I know why Remus and I fell apart, but that still doesn't take away the shock and anger I have been feeling since it ended." Tonks said.
Hermione looked at Tonks, and she could see that the older witch had gone pale and her hands were shaking.
"Tonks are you alright?" Hermione asked concerned.
"Yes…It's just the memories…they still make me a little sick to my stomach." Tonks replied.
"What happened?" Hermione asked totally forgetting about her own misery for a moment.
"I…I am not ready to talk about it yet, I am sorry Mione." Tonks replied.
"I am here to listen when you are." Hermione said seriously.
She was determined to be there for Tonks in any way that she could, she wasn't about to make the same mistake that she made with Ginny, though she wasn't even sure what that mistake was at the moment. She and Tonks hadn't really confirmed their relationship status but to her it was pretty obvious where it was heading and Hermione was ready to start over, she didn't care that it was only a week after Ginny had left her office that day. To her she felt like she was just picking up where she left off with Tonks and it was as easy as breathing with her, there was no guessing and she could read Tonks, they understood one another.
Tonks's eyes filled with tears but she didn't respond so Hermione went on;
"We both had gotten to busy with our work. After Ginny took a break from Quidditch we had more time to spend with one another. Then we both started working at St. Mungo's together. We were together all the time; it was never a problem before because we had always been together during the off season. But I guess spending every waking hour with one another was too much time. I guess she got tired of me." Hermione explained.
"Space is important in any kind of relationship. If you don't give the other person space then you start to ignore what made you be in that relationship in the first place." Tonks said wisely.
"I think that was what made us fall apart. We spent too much time together." Hermione said.
"Do you think that Harry had anything to do with it?" Tonks asked.
"I don't think that he did it intentionally to hurt me. I know Harry, and he wouldn't do something just to spite them. I know she just felt something for him and he for her, before the war they were together and they spent a lot of time in each other's company. Then during the war they were apart. Ginny moved on, well at least she told me she moved on, and that is how we got together. I had had a crush on her for a while, and when you left for your training and broke it off, I decided that it was time to act on the crush, but by the time I had gotten over you, she was already with Harry. Brief though it was with you, I never felt more complete. With Ginny it was mechanical, and monotonous, I always knew that she really loved Harry; after all he had saved her life when she was 11, and I think that just set in motion the downfall of our relationship. Am I upset? Yes. Am I blaming Harry for this? No. I blame myself and Ginny for not being honest with me. Maybe she thought that being honest with me would make it worse, but in all honesty I wish I would have known. Finding out this way had just made it more painful. I thought I knew her, but I guess I didn't know her as well as I thought." Hermione said.
"We always think we know someone, but there will always be something unexpected that happens that makes you step back and re-evaluate the situation. My situation made me see a lot of things that I didn't see before, and I found that it wasn't something that I was ready to commit to, something that I couldn't commit to. "Tonks said.
"Ginny is connected to him on a much deeper level that I am. He and I have been best friends since out first year at school, we have saved each other's lives more times than I can count, but it was just automatic, we are friends and friends do that for one another. But the Chamber of Secrets was a big deal to Ginny, it really struck a chord for her because she really didn't have anyone she could depend on to be there for her all the time, like I had. Then when Harry saved her, that is what sealed the bond, from there on out they were friends. I think for her it was more Hero worship than anything else. Harry and I spent months together during the war, but ever since we met on the Hogwarts express when we were 11, I saw him as a brother. I always knew how he felt about Ginny." Hermione said.
"Do you feel like he betrayed you?" Tonks asked.
"Not really, because I never really told him how I felt about her, or at least not how much I cared about her. But how can it be a betrayal if we were falling apart in the first place?" Hermione asked.
"True. So you don't see it as a betrayal because you never told him how much you loved her? Well doesn't that make you feel angry? I mean if he was your best friend then he should have known anyways." Tonks said.
"One would think, and as much as I love Harry, he is a guy and guys really don't think like that. He never knew that I was gay, I never told him. Well he knew after Ginny and I were official. I mean yes it hurts to know that two people I thought were my best friends turned out to be in love with one another and didn't even bother to tell me. I should be angry and be on the war path, but honestly I think that I had somehow mentally prepared myself for the fall out." Hermione said.
"You have every right to be hurt, but eventually you will have to accept it and move on." Tonks said.
"I know, but I just don't feel like right now is the right time." Hermione said softly.
"Well I can wait, really Mione, I have waited this long to have you back in my life and I will give you as much time as you need." Tonks said.
"If there is anyone I would believe, it is you Dora." Hermione said.
"May I ask you something like completely personal? You don't have to answer, but I just want to know." Tonks asked.
"Ask away." Hermione replied.
"How was the sex?" Tonks asked a little embarrassed.
Hermione was taken aback, not by the question but by the sudden awkwardness in Tonks's question.
"When we would have it, it was alright. I mean at first it was amazing, but as time went on it was just all mechanical. She never wanted to try anything new and sometimes she left me hanging. But about a year ago was when it started becoming virtually non existent." Hermione replied.
Tonks said nothing; she was obviously still a little embarrassed at her question, so Hermione went on;
"I suspect it was because she was already seeing Harry by that time. I also suspect to that she was just bored with me. I don't know how he is in bed, but I know how she is, well at least how she used to be, and I can say that he is a very lucky man. He was obviously doing something she liked because she kept going back. I never understood how she could go without it for so long. I mean I was going crazy and resorted to getting myself a vibrator and I used it when I was alone, I wasn't about to suffer just because she wasn't giving me any. But cheating or going to someone else, well it never occurred to me." Hermione finished.
"I also don't believe that it is a 'He has something that I don't' issue, they were just meant to be." She added.
Tonks sat in silent thought for a moment.
"Are you alright?" Hermione asked breaking across Tonks's train of thought.
"It's just…I don't think that you're boring, even when we were in school, all those late night flying lessons, I thought that you just wanted to be close to me, but I can see now, that it was for Ginny, it was always Ginny." Tonks said.
Hermione knew that Tonks's words were true. She had asked Tonks to give her flying lessons all those years ago so she could impress Ginny. She knew Ginny was a good flyer from the summers she had spent at the Burrow, but the thought made her slightly sick back then because she was with Tonks, and she was thinking about someone else. She felt slightly ashamed at this sudden and incontrovertible truth. Tonks noticing Hermione's horrified silence couldn't think of anything to say, but when Hermione's voice broke as she tried to respond she held up a hand to silence her.
"I'm sorry Mione; you don't have to respond to that. I guess I never suspected that you were crushing on Ginny while we were together. But I am thankful that we ended it when we did. I guess I just felt a little jealous, I mean I am older than you and back then it just seemed a little wrong to take advantage of you, I mean you were so young, I took your innocence away from you when I probably wasn't the one you wanted to give it to. I told you I loved you then and I remember the look in your eyes when you climaxed screaming my name. I meant what I said then. And I know that you aren't ready to hear those words from me right now. You know that I don't throw those words around easily. But I had to tell you that I am still in love with you, and you deserve so much more than I could ever give, but I want to try, I feel like I have finally found the right person for me." Tonks said.
For a second Hermione thought Tonks was upset, the tone of her voice suggested that she was angry, but it wasn't that she was angry with Hermione, but with herself. Hermione felt like she was leading Tonks on and confusing her, after all she had just broken up with Ginny after 6 years together, and it was so sudden and so cataclysmic that she felt like she was leading Tonks on. She wasn't, and obviously now that she had heard this, Tonks didn't believe that was the case either. Tonks was relieved, at least now she had a few things clarified.
"I haven't forgotten about our brief 2 month relationship Dora." Hermione said.
"I feel like I used you Mione! I mean you were only 14 and I was 17! I knew better than to do that to you, but I wasn't thinking like that back then. I had already been accepted into the Auror Academy and I felt like I had to do something to make my last year at school memorable. And then I just left you, I left you with no explanation." Tonks said.
"If I remember correctly, I never told you no, and I was old enough to know what I wanted. So don't hate yourself for that, and yeah I was a little upset that you just left, but I was never mad at you. I had Ginny. And I think I was with her, well because I was in love with her, but also because I was in love with you too. I was still in love with you, and even after all this time I am still in love with you." Hermione said.
"I never knew." Tonks said softly.
"I think secretly that is part of the reason Ginny and I fell apart, because I wasn't truly over you, and she wasn't truly over Harry and since neither one of us could have who we wanted, we naturally went for one another." Hermione admitted.
"Some cruel joke fate has played on us." Tonks said bitterly.
" I know that it is none of my business, but was it the Lycanthropy that broke up you an Remus?" Hermione asked.
"Something like that…I will tell you when I am ready Mione." Tonks replied.
They sat in silence following this response, then Tonks jumped as her phone vibrated, she pulled it out and looked at it.
"Dad says that Mum is home." Tonks said typing a response back to her dad.
"So soon?" Hermione asked suddenly feeling uneasy.
"Don't worry, come one I want you to meet her!" Tonks said standing and offering her hand to Hermione.
Hermione took it and she and Tonks made their way back to the house. The whole time Hermione screaming on the inside, she wasn't too keen on meeting Andromeda the thought scared the shit out of her, but she knew that if Tonks was there beside her she could do anything. So she summoned every ounce of courage she could muster and climbed the steps with Tonks and entered the house, closing the front door behind her.