Jack kind of regrets the fact that he is got his fiancée and himself on different teams. It makes good sense for the dangerous missions. But on a mission like this where he's basically involved in an off world party he finds himself really wishing Sam was by his side.

"Look at these people. I guess they've never heard the word unattractive here," Daniel says.

"They all look as healthy as a Jaffa," Teal'c says.

"That's a good thing, right?" Jack says, although he is beginning to have the nagging feeling that this is wrong.

"I don't see anyone who looks like they're over forty," Feretti comments.

"Um. Do things feel a little…off…here?" Jack asks watching a young women from across the room who is holding the baby that had been born that day.

"Are you crazy? It's a paradise," Daniel says with a huge grin on his face.

The young women approaching them with a large plate, and catches Jack's eye, "Yeah, sure, have an apple. What could happen?"

"I am Kynthia. Welcome to our village," she says walking up to Jack.

"Thank you. Jack O'Neill," Jack says as Kynthia uncovers the plate to revel a cake, which is of course Jack's favorite food. She holds it out to him, and he takes a piece of it.

"It is pleasing?" Kythia asks nervously.

"Very," Jack says with a nod. He turns to Daniel, and says, "You should have some."

"It is only for you," Kynthia says nervously.

"Only for me?" Jack says taking the dish out of her hands, and saying, "Thanks."

Kynthia runs off joinging a group of women, and they all start to laugh with delight.

"'It is only for you.'" Daniel mocks.

"I believe this woman wishes to spend time with O'Neill," Teal'c says.

"Thank you, Teal'c," Jack says with his mouth full.

Daniel starts talking, and Jack is having a lot of trouble focusing on what Daniel is saying. That's not unusual though. It pretty much happens to him every time that Daniel starts talking. Then his vision, focused on Kynthia across the room starts to get blurry. He starts to get worried, but then he gets distracted by the pretty shiny surface of the plate.

The Teal'c's words, "Perhaps it was a good Goa'uld," gets through and into mind.

Jack starts to laugh, and sprays food all over the room. "Right! Like there is such a thing."

"I did not intend for my statement to be humorous," Teal'c says.

"Trust me, they weren't."

A group of women surrounds Jack, and pulls him to his feet.

"Ah hi," he says awkwardly.

They lead him away, and Daniel says, "Where are you going?" The rest of SG-1 stands up in an attempt to rescue Jack. But the rest of the villagers stand up to try to get him to sit down.

Kynthia stands in front of Jack, and music starts to play. Her arms go out, and a part of her dress that looks like wings comes out.

"No, no, Teal'c get me out of here!" Jack yells.

"You will not harm him," Teal'c says stoically stepping forward.

"I'm not trying to harm him, I'm trying to marry him," Kynthia says as if it was completely obvious.

"No, no, I'm going to marry Sam," Jack says with his voice slurred.

"You drugged him!" Daniel says breaking through the crowd to get to his friend.

"Yeah, drugged," Jack agrees leaning against his friend.

"It is simply the marriage cake," Kynthia says.

"We don't drug people when we marry them on our planet," Daniel says angrily.

"It would not be a real marriage if he had not eaten the cake. Although, most people do not finish the cake," she says with a giggle.

"Great, so he overdosed," Daniel says, "Teal'c help me get him back to Earth? We need Janet's help to detox."

"There is only one way to recover from the marriage cake," Kynthia says.

"And that is…?" Daniel prompts.

"A matting."

"I only mate with Sam," Jack tells Daniel conspiratorially leaning on his shoulder.

"Yeah, well, I'm sure your fiancée will be pleased to know that," Daniel tells him.

"He has another?" Kynthia asks even though she doesn't know what the word fiancé.

"Yeah, he's promised to marry someone," Daniel says firmly.

"You have to take them to her, when they join their marriage will be complete," Kynthia says.

"Sam," Jack agrees nodding his head.

"This is going to be hard to explain," Daniel says with a sigh.

-0-0-0-

The klaxons bring Sam to the gate room, and she is met by her husband saying, "Angel!" he says falling toward her.

"Snookum," she says trying to make the point that she isn't a big fan of his using her nickname in a public place.

He is way past the point of subtle. "We've gotta have sex."

"Really? Got to?" she says with an eyebrow raise reminiscent of Teal'c.

"Yep, Kynthia said," he says with a head nod.

"And who is Kynthia?" Sam says looking with concern at Jack's teammates. She can tell that something is wrong with her husband, but she can't exactly tell what it is quite yet.

"Kynthia is the pretty girl who tried to give me a lap dance so that I would marry her," Jack says.

"What?" Sam asks in shock.

"He's drugged. A woman drugged him against his will, and he get got away right when she started his dance," Daniel defends his friend.

"But he almost married her," Sam says.

"But after we have sex, we'll be married," Jack says.

"You're planning on sleeping with this girl?" Sam says in horror.

"No, no you," Jack says making a horrified face.

"Yeah, I think we'll wait until you land," Sam says.

"Actually, it turns out that he's not going to land until the sex happens, at least according to the people of that planet," Daniel says.

"Yeah, well, I'm going to need a confirmation from Janet."

-0-0-0-

"So were the people of this planet telling the truth about the way to make Jack sober?" Sam asks her friend.

"I have no way of knowing, but I do know that I can't fix him," Janet says closing the folder in front of her.

"So in your medical opinion?" Sam asks her friend looking at her husband who is currently examining his reflection in a lamp.

"You should probably go have sex with your fiancé," Janet says.

"Ok, well, I'm not talking that boy man out in public. So, I won't be able to make it back to our house. So we'll be in my quarters."

-0-0-0-

Jack wakes up to feel Sam's sweaty naked body wrapped around his.

"Hey, are we on base?" he asks.

"You're back with us," Sam says relieved.

"I thought we didn't have sex on base," he says.

"Yeah, well you got high with some alien chick and sex was the only way to bring you down."

"Oh God, the girl with the wings, Sam I swear nothing happened between us!" Jack says remembering with horror.

"I know, your team already told me," Sam says, "And apparently now we're married."

"No, engaged," he corrects.

"No, apparently you ate the marriage cake."

"We're still having a wedding," Jack says firmly.

"Of course we are, husband, but we're still married," she says wrapping her arms around him. She likes the sound of the word "husband."

Note: We're going to say that they still saved the Argosians, but Jack wouldn't have rapidly aged, because he and Kynthia didn't exchange bodily fluids.