Author's Notes: Sorry it took so long to update. I had finals to contend with. But that's all over and Chapter 21 is pretty much in the can. This chapter is done slightly different than all the other ones. It's more like a series of vignettes put into one chapter. It'll take a look at the different Scooby reactions to Doyle's death over the course of different days. But then next chapter everything will be back to its normal chaptery (that is so not a word) goodness. And I'm even bringing in two more old/new characters. Who? You ask. Well you'll get a big hint this chapter and one has already been mentioned. Ciao for now.

It amazed Giles that in all his years as both a watcher and a father, he never learned how to break the news of death to his children. He knew that no matter how old they got, loosing someone they cared about would never be easy. It was one of the reasons he hated what he did for a living. He wished that he never had to introduce either one of them to the world of demons, witches or vampires. He also wished he would never have to tell them that someone they cared about died ever again.

The first time he did that was when their pet hamster had died in its sleep. Tara's powers had just started to manifest themselves and he found the five year olds huddled over the tiny creature desperately trying to magic life back into it. He had taken them both in his arms and explained as gently as he could that Pepper wasn't coming back but he would live on forever in their hearts. Two days later, Spike found a frog they named Hopper and Pepper was all but forgotten. The next time they dealt with loss was scarcely three years later when they lost their mother. A lump rose in his throat as he thought about those dark days. He not only lost his wife, he almost lost his son.

He sighed and absently stroked Tara's hair while she slept on his shoulder. He sat with his back against the wall and one of his children on either side. He had spent many nights like this after his wife had died. Of course then they were much smaller and it was uncomfortable as it was now. He gazed down softly at his daughter. She had tried that night to magic life back into Doyle. She tried until Giles pulled her away grief stricken himself. Spike didn't say anything, but he knew that the seer's death had struck a very deep, personal cord with him. He hurt and therefore Tara hurt. Giles hurt watching both of them.

And that is why Giles had initiated this family bonding moment. He had drawn them both aside from whatever it was they were going to do and dragged them into his room. After a few minutes of prompting, Spike cracked first and babbled endlessly about his feelings. Tara was next, crying the tears that her brother wouldn't. Soon they had both worn themselves out and fell asleep where they sat. And even though his back had long ago started to ache from the uncomfortable position they had him, he was loathe to move when they needed the comfort this badly.

He caught movement just outside the doorway and saw Jenny standing there. She gave him a tiny smile which he returned. She motioned to them and he shook his head.

"Where is Faith?" he asked quietly.

"Downstairs," Jenny crossed her arms over her chest. "She is dealing with this worse than she thought she would." Giles started to ease the twins off his shoulders when Jenny shook her head. "Let me handle this one. It'll give me some practice with the whole mother thing."

Giles gave her a wry smile. She blew him a kiss and headed off in search of the slayer. Giles watched her go with love and pride mixing in his heart. He loved that woman. He loved her because she loved his children, all of them. And even though he still wanted to go to Faith, he knew that maybe, just maybe she would respond better to Jenny.

Just then he heard Tara muttering her sleep. He turned his head to the side and placed a gentle kiss on her forehead. "Don't worry, baby, daddy's here."

"I will always be here to take away your pain, my love."

Jenny padded down the stairs to the basement carefully. The stairs were creaky and she was careful not to make too much noise. It didn't matter as she soon found out. Faith was proving just why they called her a slayer. However, her opponent was a punching bag. The girl was punching wildly and Jenny knew it would be only a matter of minutes before she collapsed from exhaustion and grief.

True to her prediction, Faith stopped suddenly and sank to the floor. Jenny quickly crossed the room and sat next to the girl. "Hey."

"Hey," Faith replied quietly. "Where is Giles? No offense, but he usually handles this whole comforting thing."

"None taken. I just figured us non-Giles girls gotta stick together." Jenny slung an arm around the girl's shoulder.

"Are Spike and Tara alright?"

"No, sweetie. They're really not. They're nowhere near as good at pretending as you are." Faith tried to look shocked but failed miserably. Jenny gave her shoulders a tight squeeze. "Why don't you tell me what's going on? Keeping secrets isn't good."

"This coming from the woman who didn't tell Giles she was pregnant for three months," Faith snorted. Jenny rolled her eyes and hid a smile.

"Laugh all you want, but I really want to know what's going on with you. Tell me what's going on in that head of yours."

Faith licked her lips thoughtfully and sighed. "Why do we bother? We do we bother trying to find someone to love when in the end we're only going to loose them?"

"We don't always loose the people we love, Faith. I know it's hard to see right now but the good times always make up for the bad ultimately."

"But Cordelia and Doyle won't have any more good times."

"No, they won't. But they had so many good times before. Love is a gift, honey. And it's also a risk. Sometimes the people we love get hurt or even die. It's rare and maybe that's why it hurts so much when it happens. But to give up loving because you're scared of loosing someone, that's not living."

"He was so young. He didn't deserve this."

"No he didn't. Doyle was one of the sweetest people I have ever had the honor of knowing. And I'm going to miss him. But if I know anything about him, he wouldn't want us to be sitting here moping about him all day. He would want us out there celebrating his life."

Faith nodded slowly and then looked Jenny in the eye seriously. "But I'm not old enough to celebrate life Doyle's way. Maybe in another four years."

Jenny furrowed her brow in confusion for a moment before grinning widely. "Cute, really cute, but no. that is not what I mean and you know it."

"I know. I just feel bad that I didn't really get to know him. I wasted so much time being afraid of part of who he was. He was only half demon and yet I was still terrified."

"After everything you went through, I don't blame you. And don't think that Doyle didn't know. He knew. Just like Angel knows."

"Do you think Angel will be there at the funeral?"

Jenny sighed. "I don't know. He hasn't returned anyone's phone calls or answered the door when we stopped by. He doesn't want to be found and I really don't know when he will want to."

Faith looked down at her hands and then back at Jenny. "You're really good at this comforting thing, you know?"

"I try, my dear," she stood up and helped Faith to her feet. Groaning she looked down at her stomach. "Soon I won't even be able to get up on my own without help. I have a feeling I'm going to be as big as a house!"

"Don't worry. We'll still love you even if you make Shamu look good."

"Well at least someone is feeling a bit better," Jenny laughed pushing the girl up the stairs. "And I'll love you too even when I make Shamu look good. And by the way, you're definitely the one I'm going to be forcing to get me food at odd times during the night."

"Oh goody, I can hardly wait!"

"We should do this more often," Xander sighed. He lay on his back looking up at the ceiling of Buffy's room. Beside him Willow and Buffy were doing the same. He could feel them nodding their heads in agreement. Suddenly a thought struck him. "Of course, under much better circumstances."

Once again the two girls nodded. The trio lay on the floor of the blonde's slayer's bedroom staring at the ceiling. They had been doing so for the past few hours. They didn't need words. Simply being in the presence of the others was enough.

"Buffy, how is Cordelia holding up?"

Buffy sat up slowly and looked anxiously out into the hallway. "Ever since she temporarily moved into Dawn's room, she hasn't left the house. She's barricaded herself in there and no one is allowed in. we only know she's still alive because she occasionally pulls the tray into the room to eat and sometimes goes to the bathroom. Then of course the funeral."

"Poor Cordelia," Willow sighed. "She changed so much, because of him. And now, poof, he's gone. And we can't help her."

"We wouldn't even know where to begin. Anyone here have any experience with boyfriends dying?" Buffy looked around. Xander shot her a look. "Alright statement amended to include girlfriends. Sheesh its hard being the only one in this room attracted to boys."

Willow giggled into her hand and shook her head. Xander gave her a look as well. She arched an eyebrow and Xander mirrored the gesture. "That's not entirely true is it, Will?"

Buffy sat up straighter and looked at the blushing redhead. "Oh yeah, Oz was very much a male wasn't he?"

"Alpha male if you want to get down to it."

Willow flung two pillows in their direction and buried her blushing face in the bed's comforter. "What ever happened to Oz, Xan?"

"He skipped town one night in a desperate bid at being noble and just," Xander sighed dramatically. "Never to be seen or heard from again, leaving our young heroine no choice but to move on."

"And I'm happy I did," Willow ground out. "I love Tara and I don't regret moving on with her at all. Ever. Now back to the issue at hand here, if you two are done mocking my sad mockable love life."

"Done," Buffy held up her hands and grinned. The grin faded however as she thought about who lay just beyond that closed bedroom down the hall from hers. It suddenly hit her at that moment that she knew Doyle even longer than Cordelia or any other the gathered Scoobies did. He had been her friend since the very beginning of her slaying career and she had always thought he would be there for the end, whenever that would be. But he wouldn't be. She would never see him laugh or plot with Spike and Xander to get even with Angel for some imagined crime again. She would never see the way he came to life whenever he was around Cordelia again, and suddenly her heart hurt more than she ever thought possible.

"I'm going to miss him," Buffy cried. "I'm going to miss him so much." Xander held her as she sobbed against on his shoulder. The slayer dried her tears up quickly though as if felt guilty for being the one crying. She felt that she should be strong for Cordelia at least. She ran a hand over her face and continued to rest her head on Xander's shoulder. "The worst part is we have no idea how to relate to Cordy right now."

"Don't you?" Xander asked gently. "I mean, Buff, you've known Doyle almost as long as Angel. You were pretty close with him when you came here before he hooked up with Cordy. As a matter of fact, wasn't it you who got them together in the first place?"

"But its different. Its sad to say but the minute I met you two, I didn't hang out with Angel and Doyle as much as I used to. I regret that now. But I'll never regret Cordy and Doyle being together." Buffy exhaled slowly. A faint smile crossed her lips as she remembered the first time that Cordelia had met Doyle. It wasn't exactly love at first sight for her part anyway. "I believe her first words to him were…."

"Ew, you're a nasty slimy demon too!"

They all sat up now to look at the pale figure in the doorway. Cordelia gave them a wan smile. Her hair hung limply around her too thin figure. She hadn't been eating regularly and this was one of the times it was safe to say that Cordelia wasn't a beauty queen. She toyed with the hem of her shirt and looked up. "Kind of a stupid thing to say to the man you wanted to spend the rest of your life with, huh?"

"Oh, honey," Willow rose and crossed the room to her. She hugged Cordelia tightly and Cordelia clung to the redhead seeking the solace and comfort. "Why don't you come out with us tonight? Spike and Tara are finally breaking their silence and want to go bowling, although I think that was more Xander's suggestion than anything."

Cordelia shook her head. "Not that I don't love you guys and I do. I finally learned that there is no such thing as telling someone that too much. I love you all and I appreciate everything you're doing for me, but I'm fine. Really, I'm fine."

Buffy chewed on her lip before joining her two best friends. "Cordelia, I know you're going to pretend to be fine. But please talk to someone if not me, anyone. One of us or just someone that cares. We all care about you, Cordy. But I know you need someone who can understand. So please try to find that someone."

Cordelia didn't reply. She merely turned on her heels and headed back to her temporary lodgings in Dawn's room.

Someone to understand. The words haunted her all day. She knew she could have easily talked to Buffy or Willow. Both girls were constantly on her to talk to them but they just didn't understand what she was going through. Maybe Buffy, but the blonde had plenty of support emotionally from Spike. She needed someone who was just as lost emotionally as she was. She clutched the ring in her hand tighter and took a deep breath. That ring was the last tangible piece of the man she loved. It was a ring of friendship and brotherhood that linked the seer and his vampire champion together in their Irish solidarity, though Spike just claimed it was a conspiracy against the British. Cordelia felt her courage retreating as the sadness overcame her again. Sighing once more she summoned her courage and rang the doorbell in front of her.

"Who is it?"

"Um, Cordelia?"

There was a pause and Cordelia was afraid that he wouldn't answer the door for her. Finally she heard him shuffle over to the door and a moment later she was staring at him. He was a lot thinner than she remembered. The black bags that hung underneath the tired glare she was receiving just proved that he wasn't himself anymore. She imagined that she probably looked similar to him.

"Was there something you wanted Cordelia?"

"When was the last time you fed?"

The question caught him off guard. Angel shrugged and stared down at several brown paper bags that littered the front of his door. She picked one up and found a blood pack inside it. She could only imagine that the rest of them were similarly filled. None of them were opened.

"I could ask you the same question," Angel retorted.

"Well you gonna ask me in or are we gonna stand out here all night?"

A small smile curved his lips as he motioned for her to enter. He scooped the bags up and closed the door behind them. "So what brings you by?"

Cordelia looked up at him with uncertainty shining in her eyes. He sat down at the table with her. She rubbed the ring in her hand and exhaled.

"I miss him. Every single minute of every single day I miss him. I count the minutes you know. It hurts."

"14,440 minutes, 168 hours, seven days," Angel replied quietly. Cordelia offered him a tiny smile. "I hurt too."

""You didn't go to the funeral. We had it at night so you could go."

"I couldn't. It hurt too much to know that…." He stood up and nervously started pacing.

"To know what?"

"To know that I let him die," he sank almost boneless to his previous seat. He looked down at his hands and more specifically to the ring that matched the one in Cordelia's hands. "I should have stopped Darla. If I had just staked her she wouldn't have stabbed him and he would be sitting here right now with us."

Cordelia leaned forward and held onto his hand tightly. She looked into his eyes. "I know we've never been the best of friends, Angel. But Doyle adored you. You were the older brother he never had. Albeit a cursed soul having vampire older brother, but one none the less. He told me how lost he felt after his parents were killed and you were there for him. You saved him."

Angel choked back tears as Cordelia slipped the ring into his balled up hand. "W-where did you get that? I couldn't find it among any of the effects the hospital had delivered to me."

"Even though he didn't directly say it, or even have a vision, I think he knew. A few days before it happened, I started having nightmares of him saying goodbye. And then right before the dance, he gave this to me. I didn't know what it meant until later. It was his way of saying goodbye for real."

"I'm so sorry," Angel mumbled.

Cordelia looked up in surprise. "For what?"

"Not saving him."

"He knew it was his time. He's on his path now, I'm sure. The visions were just a small part of it. But I know that he'll be great in whatever his destiny leads him to."

"God, Doyle's visions. What are we going to do without them, without him?"

With each passing moment, Cordelia felt herself growing more confident and sure of what to do now. "We'll go on. We'll continue to be strong and be there for each other. Doyle wouldn't want us to die with him. He would want us to keep living and do it with a smile."

Angel craned his neck and looked at her in wonder. "When did you get so smart?"

"When I met Doyle," she found herself smiling for the first time since that night. The smile grew wider as Angel slipped the finger on her thumb. "What are you doing?"

"I gave that ring to Doyle to symbolize our friendship. I'm giving it to you to symbolize what linked us and what will continue to link us. You're right we need to keep living but its going to be hard. I promise to help you if you promise to help me."

Cordelia looked down at their clasped hands and got what Doyle was trying to tell her that night. She would have to look out for Angel, just like he would look out for her. She offered him a genuine million wattage smile and nodded. "Just promise you won't go all brood boy on me full time, because honestly I don't know how Doyle dealt with that."

"Hey!" Angel mock protested. "I don't brood. More like I take time out of my day for quiet personal reflection."

"No matter how you look at it, it's still brooding." The pair sat in amicable silence for the first time since they met. "Come on," Cordelia said finally. "I want to take you somewhere."

Angel allowed the girl to lead him where she wanted to go. In his heart he knew where she wanted to go. She didn't disappoint. His feet dragged him the rest of the way, staring at the cold, stone slab with trepidation evident from the way his body tensed up.

"Alan Francis Doyle, born 1982, died 2003. He was loved beyond words and will be missed beyond comprehension. Rest in peace, finally."

"Spike made it up," Cordelia said quietly. She sat down next to the tombstone and placed her head against the surface. She picked up a bottle of Motrin and grinned. "Buffy reminded him that he promised to give Doyle a bottle of painkillers the next day."

Angel laughed and sat down next to the girl. "Spike has a wicked sense of humor."

"He is a good friend though. He's been worried sick about you. They all have. I hear them talking about you."

"It hurts you know?"

"Just because Doyle is gone doesn't mean we stop being your friends. It wasn't like it was a package deal. We cared about you both."

"Thanks, Cordy." He saw her shiver and put his jacket over her hoodie. "Ready to go back now?"

 "Actually, how do you feel about bowling?"

Angel arched an eyebrow and allowed the cheerleader to lead him out the cemetery. A half an hour of they were standing outside the Sunnydale Bowling alley. "See when you said bowling, I didn't think you really meant bowling."

"Come on, you big baby. Unless you're scared!" Cordelia stuck out her tongue. He rolled his eyes and let her pull him inside. The loud music and bright lights assailed his senses all at once. But that soon faded as he caught sight of the Scoobies conversing by a pair of lanes. Giles and Jenny weren't far away at their own lane, content to do their own thing but still stay close to the teens. He and Cordelia lingered uncertainly by the doorway, unsure of whether they should join the somewhat cheery gathering.

"Cordy, you made it!" Buffy bubbled over at the sight of her friend. Cordelia smiled at her enthusiasm. Her petite best friend ran over grabbing both her and Angel's hands and dragged them to where the others were gathered. "Bowling is nowhere as stupid as you said it would be."

"You speak blasphemous talk!" Xander crowed from his seat next to Spike. He looked up and nodded in Angel's directions. "Came here to get your ass kicked, Dead Boy?"

"I told you to stop calling me that," Angel grumbled good-naturedly. He plopped down in a seat beside Spike and fell back into the comfort of having friends. Spike nudged him in the ribs and he pushed him back playfully. Angel then turned to Xander. "So who is on whose team?"

"I'm on Spike's," Buffy called out and threw herself into her boyfriend's lap. Spike grinned and wrapped his arms around her waist. "And we call Faith and Angel!"

"Great all the super powers on one team," Xander grumbled. It was then that he became aware of Tara and Willow smiling smugly. "Oh but I have the two witches! Ha ha!"

"No bloody magic!"

"No super strength," Tara shot back.

"Can't help it, if I have strength and you don't."

"Better sleep with both eyes open tonight, bro," Faith warned catching the scathing look that Tara was throwing his way.

"Bring it on."

Cordelia rested her chin on Tara's shoulder and closed her eyes in contentment. Sure there was still a gaping hole where Doyle used to be, but they were healing, she was healing. She would get better because that was what he would have wanted for her. She opened her eyes and smiled at all the others.

"Let's bowl!"

*Once again nothing witty to say. I think I'm on serious burnout here. Oh but I did manage to at least start Chapter 21. So enjoy a preview!

***Preview for Chapter Twenty One***

Just then the doors opened again. Spike sat up bleary eyed and glanced over at the young man that had entered. "We're not open yet. Come back in a few hours." He then let his head slam back down to the table.

"I'm looking for Willow."

Chills ran down Willow's spine as she turned slowly in her seat to see the one person she never thought she would ever see again standing less than four feet away from her. She rose from her seat as did the only other three people who recognized the stranger.

 "When did you get back?" Willow finally managed to form the words.

"Pretty much now."  

 "I just wish that everyone could see that there are more sides to me than just quiet, stuttering Tara. The only person who ever sees that is my brother and sister!" Tara huffed.  

Tara turned on her heels and left the bathroom before she could see Anya's face change. "Wish granted." Anya smiled as the necklace around her neck glowed brilliantly. Suddenly, there was a rumbling behind her. Her face reverted back to human just in time for her to see a glowing portal open behind her. A girl, more accurately a vampire, walked through with a twisted smile on her face. Her blonde hair flowed loosely around her demonic face. Anya's eyes turned as wide as saucers as she recognized exactly who this vampire was. "Oh crap."

Golden-Eyed-Vamp: Hey, I'm sooo sorry I haven't been able to review your story lately. Just want to say that I am still reading and I will get a chance to review. I promise. And as you see things got better. Next chapter is going to be more fun, I promise. I depressed myself with this one. Lol.

Imazdi: Yeah, I still giggle at Brownie Bear. I'm simple and very easily amused. You're right, her eyes aren't brown. Sorry about that. Let's just pretend she had contacts on for no apparent reason. Oh yeah, that made sense.

FallenFaith: At first I was all defensive, like what did I do? Then I read the rest and was doing happy dances around my apartment! This chapter is definitely shorter than the others. I don't know about the last chapter though. I might check that one day, lol. Thanks for all the compliments. I try to get better with each chapter. And I'll try to update sooner than last time so you won't have to wait too long.

Ms Trick: *hands you a tissue* my sister thanks you for that last comment. She has now driven me to insanity by proclaiming that she is an individual and not a loser for liking Riley. But I still hate him too ;-P Anyway. I got teary eyed while writing that. How sad is that? Like I knew what was happening and still got upset when I finished it. I think I may be loosing it slowly, lol.

Courtney: Thanks so much. Every time I read your reviews I start smiling. I think my roommate definitely thinks I'm insane. Which is okay, cuz I hate her so, it all balances out! I'm sorry, well not really, that the story made you cry. I hope you enjoyed this chapter.

Spike94763: Have no fear, more Faith parts coming up next chapter. Not a huge role but there is a large group of Scoobies, so it's pretty big for such a group, if that even makes sense. Which it probably doesn't. Thanks for all the reviews, they are greatly appreciated. And I'm glad you like my version of Faith. I was really worried that people wouldn't. So thanks!

Ekwy: *hands you a whole box of tissues* I was wondering how you were going to take this chapter. You are the one reviewer I know that loves Doyle as much as I do. I know it's sad but we have to move forward. And trust me they won't be forgetting him like just seemed to do on Angel. Doyle maybe gone but he is definitely not forgotten.  Thanks for catching the lil Dru slip up. My spellchecker is ignorant and sometimes I forget to double check. From now on, just calling her Dru!

Emma: Hi! Don't worry the Scoobies will pull through. I think this is the last chapter that will have them completely depressed. They'll be back to their fun loving, demon chasing soon enough. Thanks for reviewing.

LittleDrusilla: I know! I still cry even when I watch it on DVD. I can't help it. That episode was just so sad! I resisted the urge to put in that bit about the commercial even though I did originally write it. I had them all watching the video. Maybe one day I'll post it one day as a little side thing or something. I love Linkin Park. Little references to them will just be popping up sporadically so I'm apologizing now in advance. Lol.

Chareleigh: OMG! That was scary! What made it worse was that my best friend decided to do the creepy voice… all night! So thanks for that. Every time I tried to go to sleep, she would call and tell me to in all sorts of freaky voices. Thus proving, I'm an idiot for not blocking her and that I have stupid friends. Glad you enjoyed last chapter. I've continued so please don't kill me. ^_^ Byee!