"Back straight Kili! You slouch worse than your uncle!" Dis snapped at her youngest. Then her sharp eyes drifted to her oldest son who snickered as his brother got scolded. "And you Fili! Get your dirty elbows off the table and hold your silverware right! It's like eating with a savage!" Dis frowned at her children; she couldn't understand how they had learned such poor manners, not from her that was for sure. Almost in answer to her unspoken question off to Dis left there came an unholy wet snort. Said noise was coming from her brothers' regal nose as it squashed up against the large leg of lamb he was ripping apart with his teeth like a wild animal. Dis was almost angry enough to slam her hands down on the table. However, she was a princess of Erebor and had learned from birth how to act appropriately no matter what company. Her brother however seems to have forgotten his lessons. Dis glared at him until he noticed, he dropped the leg on his plate with a clatter, and he whipped his hands on his tunic front and swatted the strips of meat from his short beard.

"What?" he asked his mouth still full. He cocked an eyebrow when Dis didn't answer, shrugging his shoulders at her waiting.

"I cannot believe you." she hissed.

"What did I do now!" he slumped back in his chair.

"Look at you! Eating like an ikhuzud! Do you remember nothing mother taught us?" Dis hissed, "look at the example your setting for Fili and Kili." She looked back at her sons to see her oldest flick a spoon of mashed potatoes in to his brothers' mouth, only to miss and have it land in his nose. Kili snorted and shot the mash all over himself and his brother. Dis could almost scream.

"I'm…sorry?" Thorin hid a laugh as he watched his nephew.

"That's it! The three of you!" Dis stood up violently, yet still with her feminine grace intact, she wasn't some kind of barbarian after all. "no more food…" she collected their full plate and placed them on the far side of the table, Thorins face and most of his body followed after his like it had a rope connecting him to it. He whimpered when he was forced to sit back down.

"Aww…. Mum… why!" Fili cried.

"Shut your whinging!"she snapped, as a proper lady might. "I will not have you three behaving like inbreed wildfolk!" Thorin went to reply, probably to say that they were in fact rather inbreed, but Dis shut his mouth with a wave of her figure. "No."

"Mum please! We're hungry!" Fili cried, he had picked up a few words from the human caravans and had been using them whenever possible.

"Hungry Amad! We starve!"

Dis stalked around the table and wacked those on the head, still in a lady like fashion of course. "come on Dis! You're being crazy-"

"I am not crazy! There is nothing wrong with wanting to be able to have a meal with my family and not have them act like they have haven't eaten in a year!" she was fuming by this point. "No do as I say!" and with that Dis began her instructions. Elbows down, back straight, napkin on their laps, the silverware were to never touch the table after being picked up, liquids on the right solids on the left, fork in the left hand knife in the right, no hands, no slouching, no leaning over food, no talking with mouths full, no using food as a weapon, no slurping, small bite sized mouthfuls only, at least 30 seconds between mouthfuls, chew at least 30 times; her list of rules went on and on and the boys got hungrier and hungrier. Until Thorin had finally had enough,

"Okay Dis! This is enough! I'm tired and hungry from the forge! Enough of this nonsense!"

"It's not nonsense! It's out culture!"

"One that only you belong to apparently!" he laughed," No one does this! It's just thinks Adad and Amad wanted us to know to impress those damned tree-shaggers!"

Dis launched a fork at his big stupid hairy face, and then screamed. "Then you won't eat!"

The two boys watched as Thorin stood up defiantly and walked out the door, they looked at eachother, to their crazed mother and then back to the door. "Amad?" Kili whimpered.

"-do you think you can show me how to hold my knife again?" Fili asked like nothing had happened.

Thorin returned home happy and full from the tavern. Dis through him out for the week.