Disclaimer: I do not own the characters from Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman. The rights to those characters and to the show belong to the creators of the show, to CBS, The Sullivan Company and to A&E.

Chapter Twenty

Boston, October 1846 – 3 weeks until the Costume Ball

Monday afternoon was simply beautiful. The leaves on the trees were brilliant colors. A bright autumn sun shone down on the city of Boston warming the air enough to go without jackets or coats. It was a perfect day to be outside enjoying what was left of the warm weather before cold descended upon the city with a vengeance. Sully had dreamed all day of spending the afternoon with Michaela on the Common – stretched out in the sun or walking along the water. The walk from Boston Latin was short and he ran most of the way hoping to beat Michaela home from school. He had just climbed the stairs when the carriage pulled up carrying Michaela and Marjorie.

Marjorie was first to alight from the carriage, quickly making her way past Sully as if he was invisible. Sully mockingly gave her a slight bow to amuse Michaela as she jumped down out of the carriage. She did not notice Sully's antics but simply handed her books to Sully as she passed saying, "Good afternoon, Sully."

Sully looked at the books in his hand and turned to Michaela giving her a puzzled look but she had already started up the stairs. "Hey Mike," he yelled after her. Once inside the front door, Michaela made a beeline for the library. Sully stopped for a moment wondering why they were deviating from their regular routine in which the first stop was the kitchen for an afternoon snack. Shaking his head, he followed Michaela into the library her books still in his hand. Michaela was already bending over the shelves searching through books, obviously on a mission.

"Michaela, what are you doing?" Sully asked still standing in the doorway.

"Looking for pictures of Joan of Arc," she replied, her voice muffled as she hastily flipped through one of the books she had chosen. "Want to help?" she asked as she finally looked up at him.

"Umm…" Sully began, "It's so nice outside, I was hopin' you might want to go to the Common when we finish our homework."

"I don't have any," Michaela replied already burying her head in another book.

"Oh, well do ya want to go to the Common after I finish my homework?"

"If I'm done here," Michaela answered as she indicated the pile of books she had already made on the floor.

"Okay," Sully said half-heartedly, feeling a little dejected that his afternoon plans weren't appealing to Michaela. "I'm gonna go get a snack, do ya want anything?" Michaela did not respond as she continued to run her finger down the spines of her father's books. "Michaela?" Sully called a little louder.

"What?" she asked looking up momentarily.

"Do ya want a snack?" Sully spoke louder than usual and gestured with his hands trying to be humorous.

It was lost on Michaela who gave him an odd look before saying, "No, I'm not hungry." Sully dropped her books on a chair near the door, rolled his eyes and headed for the kitchen.

When he returned fifteen minutes later, Michaela was seated at her father's desk with books piled around her. She looked up as he entered smiling briefly before hastily returning to her task. Sully sighed loudly as he settled himself on the window seat to study his Latin words. Every once in a while he would stop to watch Michaela who was flipping madly through another book stopping every couple pages and then continuing on when she didn't find what she was looking for. Twenty minutes slipped by and Sully started his math assignment. Forty minutes had now elapsed and Sully was finished with his homework. He loudly packed up his books hoping to draw Michaela's attention.

At the same moment, Michaela exclaimed, "I found it!"

"Ya found what?" Sully asked making his way over to the desk.

"The perfect picture of Joan of Arc," Michaela said moving her hand to show Sully the picture from the book of saints. The picture was a black and white pencil drawing of a young girl dressed in chain mail, armor and pants. Sully knew it was a girl despite the dress because her long hair flowed down her back with only the top tied back. She held a sword in one hand while the other hand was held by a man in front of her on his knees. The man was clad as a knight.

"What's this for?" Sully asked.

"This is my costume for the McNeill's ball," she said smiling broadly.

"So that's Joan of Arc," said Sully still not understanding Michaela's enthusiasm. "Who's the guy in front of her?"

"That's Jean de Metz. He dressed Joan as a man so that she could carry out her mission to lead France to victory over the English. He was one of her knights. This picture shows him swearing his loyalty to her. He even testified on her behalf at her trial."

"I see," said Sully feigning interest. "Sure that's who ya want to be?"

"Of course it is. She was a strong courageous woman – why wouldn't I want to be her?"

"Never mind," breathed Sully. Michaela hastily pulled the book back towards her carefully marking the page before closing it. "Still want to go to the Common?" Sully ventured.

"I guess," Michaela replied half heartedly.

"No one's forcin' ya to go," Sully returned feeling frustrated with her lack of interest in his plans.

"Wow, someone's awful testy today," Michaela said frowning at him. Sully shook his head at her and turned to leave the library. The sun was fading fast and he knew even if he left right this instant that his time at the Common would be very limited. He stormed over to the front door regretting waiting for Michaela as long as he had. "Wait up," Michaela's voice called from behind him.

"Didn't think ya wanted to go," Sully said not even bothering to turn around.

"I said I did."

"No, you said 'I guess.'" Sully said imitating her voice and listless manner.

"Why are you in such a bad mood?" Michaela asked.

"I'm not," Sully retorted. Michaela rolled her eyes but let the subject drop as she headed for the front door.

The first part of the walk to the Common was conducted in silence as both of them were still angry with each other. Sully knew it was his own fault that he was angry. He often let Michaela dictate where they would go or how they would spend their time. Usually that was fine with him because he knew that they would have fun whatever they did together. Yet it always seemed that when he had something he wanted to do, Michaela always had something more important to do. The frustrating part was he always seemed to be giving in.

Michaela was the first one to break the uneasy silence. "Sully are you upset with me about something?"

Sully kicked a rock out of his path and exhaled loudly. "Just wanted to spend the afternoon with ya at the Common," he said.

Michaela pulled her mouth down at the corners and wrinkled her forehead. "But we're going to the Common right now."

Sully shrugged his shoulders. He didn't feel like getting into it with her. "Wanna race?" he asked changing the subject.

"Okay," Michaela said. Before Sully had a chance to respond she took hold of her skirt with her hands to stop from tripping and sprinted off. It didn't matter though Sully soon caught her and when they arrived at the Common slightly out of breath the afternoon's anger seemed to have dissipated. They walked along the edge of the water for a while before settling down on the grass to enjoy the last rays of sunlight. "What are you going to dress as for the costume party?" Michaela asked turning to Sully.

"Don't know," Sully answered. "Guess I hadn't really thought about it."

"It takes a while to make a good costume, Sully. You'd better decide on something soon," Michaela warned.

"Maybe, I'll go as some prince," Sully said casting a sideways glance at Michaela. Michaela had told him about the luncheon and the rumors that had been started about him.

Michaela laughed. "The girls were still talking about you today."

"Really?" Sully asked. Michaela pursed her lips wondering why he was so interested.

"Sure, I mean you're someone new and you are cute."

Sully grimaced. "Ya think I'm cute?" Michaela blushed but nodded her head. "Hmm," Sully said rubbing his chin.

"What was that about?" Michaela asked noticing the gleam in his eye.

"Think I just decided what my costumes gonna be."

"What?" asked Michaela eagerly.

"Uh-uh, you are going to have to wait and see," Sully replied a smile creeping onto his face.

"But you know my costume," Michaela protested.

"So? You didn't have to tell me."

"That's not fair," pouted Michaela innocently swatting at Sully.

"No one said it was," Sully added as he stood up. He held out his hand to help Michaela up but she shook her head getting to her feet on her own. "Suit yourself," he said still teasing.

"You'll regret this Master Sully," Michaela said continuing the game.

"We'll see about that," Sully answered before they started back to the house as the sun disappeared beyond the horizon.

Two weeks until the Costume Ball

Michaela spotted Sully across the room and smiled shyly. He looked so handsome dressed as St George. Slowly she made her way across the room to where he stood talking with Emily. Emily was wearing a beautiful ball gown with a full skirt. Her hair was in a mass of ringlets and a tiara was perched on top of her beautiful red hair. Sully was laughing as Emily leaned in close to whisper something in his ear. Michaela tapped Sully on the shoulder and he turned towards her.

"Mike," he said in greeting. "Ya look, umm, courageous this evening."

"Good evening, Sully," Michaela replied. "I was wondering if you would care to dance."

Sully chuckled softly. "Sorry Emily just asked me."

"Maybe later?" Michaela replied.

"I ain't dancin' with no boy," Sully chuckled taking Emily by the hand and leading her to the dance floor. Michaela looked down at her costume – she was dressed like a knight complete with sword. Suddenly the room was full of laughter – they were all laughing at her. Even the adults were pointing and laughing at her. She started to run away but no matter which direction she tried she could not get away.

"You're nothing but a boy, Michaela," Marjorie teased.

"Michaela, I told you people were going to think you were a boy," Elizabeth scolded.

"Sully?" Michaela screamed trying to find him in the crowd that now surrounded her pointing and laughing.

Emily's face sneered at her from across the room as she watched Sully lean over to place a kiss on her lips.

"No!" Michaela screamed out quickly sitting up in bed. Her hair clung to her neck as she was soaked with perspiration. Her heart was beating rapidly and she was slightly out of breath. Slowly she began to calm and she lay back against her pillow staring up at the ceiling. This was the third night in a row she had dreamed this scene and frankly she was getting tired of it. After the first dream, it had been easy to convince herself she was being silly and worrying for nothing but with each subsequent dream it was becoming harder to believe this. The fight that she and Sully had this afternoon over his refusal to reveal his costume choice wasn't' helping matters. A truce had been reached but there was still an uneasiness between them.

Maybe she should think about changing her costume. All of the other girls would be in beautiful gowns with their hair done. Did she really want to look like a boy? Not really but she refused to give into something she knew her mother wanted so badly. Besides she didn't really care what the boys thought of her or even if they asked her to dance. Except for Sully; she didn't think she could take it if he ignored her or refused to dance with her. Rolling over onto her stomach she placed her head in her pillow and grunted out her frustration while her fists beat on the mattress. As she began to calm an idea occurred to her. Why not ask Sully his opinion on the matter? Whatever he preferred her in she would choose regardless of the consequences from Elizabeth. With a plan firmly fixed in her mind, she closed her eyes hoping for a dreamless sleep.

The next afternoon she stepped into the house ready to face the costume issue. She could hear Sully in the kitchen with Martha and she slowly made her way in that direction, a nervousness beginning to form in the pit of her stomach.

"Sully," she greeted him warmly hoping he had forgotten about the fight of the previous day. His mouth was full of cookie but the smile on his face put her at ease. "Good afternoon, Martha," she said as Martha offered her cookies as well. "Thanks."

"We got a letter," Sully said as he finished chewing the cookie.

"We did? From who?"

"Anna," Sully said smiling widely.

"Have you opened it?" Michaela asked. This wasn't the first letter from Anna since their departure but they both had anxiously been awaiting news of the fate of the slave from the Brooks' house. The last letter had hinted that they were preparing to take action.

"Of course not," Sully returned. "Ya think I'd open it without ya?" Michaela smiled and hastily finished off her milk so that they could retire to the privacy of the library.

Once inside the library, they huddled together on the window seat while Sully opened the envelope. The letter was only one page and read:

Sully and Michaela,

I hope this letter finds you well. Things here have gone better than we could have expected. Yesterday we received a letter from a dear friend letting us know that they had arrived in Canada safely. Our friends wanted us to pass along their gratitude to both of you. It seems that the young one actually remembered seeing Michaela that fateful day and thought she was an angel who had come to help. They now claim they know you were an angel sent by God because their prayers for deliverance have finally been answered. This letter is short but I wanted to get it in the mail to let you know all is well. Ida and John send their love and hope to see you in December – keep working on your father!

All my love,

Anna

"Sully, they did it!" Michaela exclaimed. "They really did it!"

"I know," Sully responded the same joy apparent on his face. "She remembered you Michaela. That little girl remembered you."

"She thought I was an angel. How funny is that?"

"You did look real pretty that day," Sully said smiling widely at Michaela. His words reminded Michaela of her costume dilemma. Her face suddenly clouded over. Clearly, Sully noticed when she dressed up special – did he like her better like that? "Michaela?" Sully asked noticing her change in demeanor. "Ya okay?"

"Fine. I just… well… I was wondering." Michaela dropped her head and spoke the next line as quickly as she could. "Do you like me better when I'm all dressed up?"

Sully squinted at her. "Do I like you better when you're dressed up?" Sully repeated for clarification. Michaela nodded her head but still refused to look up. "I like ya no matter how ya're dressed," Sully responded not quite sure what she was getting at.

Michaela decided to change tactics some. "Do you like it when girls wear fancy dresses?"

"I guess," Sully said.

"How about when their hair is all curly?" Michaela was thinking about Emily's beautiful ringlets under that diamond tiara.

"Sure, I do," Sully answered thinking about Michaela the night of the dance in Maryland.

Michaela looked up at Sully. He had a far off dreamy look in his eye and before she even realized it anger had taken hold of her. "Byron Sully, you are so shallow!" she exclaimed. Sully was left speechless. "Mother said boys can't be trusted and she was right. Any pretty face will just turn your head."

"Mike.. Michaela?" Sully stuttered perplexed at the sudden tongue lashing he was getting.

"I hope your very happy dancing with Emily and her stupid curls," Michaela screamed at him.

"Emily.. what are you talking about?"

"Like you don't know?"

"Michaela, I don't."

"Do you know what Sully? I wish you had never kissed me!"

"Mike, shh! Do ya want the whole house to hear?"

Michaela snorted angrily and then turned to stomp out of the room. Sully had just caught up with her last statement and only now were the words really registering in his mind. He ran the distance to the library door catching Michaela as she began to ascend the stairs. "Michaela Quinn you are the most impossible girl I ever met!" he yelled up at her. Then he turned and slammed the library door still confused about how such a happy afternoon had gone sour so fast. That girl was driving him crazy! He angrily punched a pillow on the window seat but his anger quickly dissolved as a dull ache settled in his heart.

One Week to the Costume Ball

Michaela sat in the window seat of the library staring out the window. The leaves were brilliant shades of red and orange and had begun to fall carpeting the ground with their bright colors. Michaela took no notice of this. Sully sat perched in a low branch of one of the trees putting the finishing touches on a sketch he had been working on. As he finished, he noticed Michaela at the window and waved to her. Listlessly, Michaela waved back not even meeting his eyes. Sully gathered his pencils and headed inside to try to talk to Michaela one more time. She had been impossible the last week. One minute she was irrational and angry and the next minute, depressed and contrite. She refused to talk to him about what was wrong and even though he was tired of having his head bitten off, he kept trying.

Michaela took no notice of the library door as it opened nor did she turn her head as a key turned in the lock. It was only when Sully was directly over her and began lightly running his fingers through her hair that she looked up. "Michaela," he spoke gently, "what's wrong?"

"Nothing," she said shaking her head and turning to stare back out the window.

Sully sat down beside her on the window seat and reached over to take her hand. "Sully!" Michaela exclaimed. "What if someone comes in here?"

"I locked the door," Sully informed her looking rather pleased with himself.

"That's a brilliant idea!" Michaela sarcastically exclaimed. "Cause that won't look suspicious or anything." Hastily she walked over, unlocked the door and exited without looking back at Sully once. Sully sighed and leaned his head back against the window. He was done. There was no pleasing her. He thought about his costume for the ball and silently prayed that she would come around when she saw him. Maybe until then it was best if he stayed out of her way.

October 31, 1846 - Day of the Costume Ball

One chain mail shirt, one piece of body armor, one pair of pants, one sword, two boots. That was her costume hanging on the back of her closet door. The feeling of elation she had felt knowing that Elizabeth was so displeased had completely passed. There was no triumphant victory, only a hollow emptiness. She felt miserable and she had no one to blame but herself. She had done this to herself. She had chosen the costume and she had literally picked the fights with Sully. For the past week, he rarely spoke to her except in passing. And she was a liar; she had told Sully that she wished he had never kissed her. That was a bold faced lie. Laying back on her bed, she thought about the ball wishing terribly that she had an excuse not to go but knowing that there was no way out of it now.

The sun was descending in the sky and she knew it would soon be time to go. A knock came to her door and Martha opened it before she even invited her in.

"Come on, Miss Michaela," Martha chided. "Time to get you ready for the costume ball." Michaela stood and trudged over to where the outfit hung. Joan of Arc – courageous and fearless – those words did not describe her tonight.

Sully stood at the bottom of the stairs, his hands sweating profusely as he waited for Michaela to appear. Silently he prayed that Michaela would come down before anyone else though he knew that was almost impossible. She hadn't left her room all day and Sully wouldn't have been surprised if she simply refused to attend tonight.

Footsteps at the top of the stairs caught his attention and he turned expectantly. Marjorie descended dressed in a delicate pink dress that made her red hair stand out all the more. Sully knew she was going as Sleeping Beauty though he wasn't sure what part of the costume actually made her Sleeping Beauty. She looked dressed like she would for any fancy dress ball.

"Sully," she said sounding somewhat annoyed.

"You look nice, Marjorie," Sully offered trying to be cordial.

"Thanks," Marjorie answered in return. "Please tell mother, I'll be waiting in the carriage." Sully nodded as she left the house.

More footsteps caught his attention. Hopefully, he turned again. Michaela stood at the top of the stairs staring down at him, her face crestfallen. Slowly she descended dropping her eyes from his as she came closer. Even in the pants and chain mail something about her made Sully's heart beat a little faster and he wished more than anything that she would smile.

"Michaela, I think you make a great Joan of Arc," he said as she stopped just in front of him.

"Thanks," she responded rather despondently. "You make a very handsome knight."

"I'm not just any knight," Sully whispered afraid that at any moment Elizabeth or Josef would arrive and everything would be ruined. Michaela picked up her head to give him a quizzical look. "Do you know who I am?' he asked.

"St. George? Sir Lancelot? " Michaela threw out random guesses.

Sully shook his head and then went down on both knees, his heart racing now. "Put ya sword in ya right hand pointing at the ground," he instructed. Michaela was mesmerized by his behavior and readily obeyed. He reached up and took her left hand in his own. "My lady, I swear my loyalty to follow you valiantly into battle wherever you may go. I will die defendin' ya if necessary and will be your constant companion until we have rid France of the English."

A small smile started at the corners of Michaela's lips and spread upward. "Sully?" she questioned.

"Not tonight," he said. "Tonight, I'm Jean de Metz, faithful servant of Joan of Arc."

"Oh Sully," she said. "I could kiss you."

"Maybe later," he returned. "I think I hear somebody." Hastily he rose as Elizabeth and Josef came into view. They were going as George and Martha Washington with powdered wigs and all.

"Well, don't you two make quite a pair," Elizabeth said as she descended the stairs observing Sully and Michaela with disdain.

Josef smiled widely at both of them, relieved to see that for once that week Michaela was actually smiling. "Joan," he said giving her a small bow. "And Sully – are you any particular knight?"

His eyes locked on Michaela's. "Jean de Metz," he said confidently.

"Who?" asked Elizabeth.

"Jean de Metz," replied Michaela. "He was the faithful knight of Joan of Arc who accompanied her into battle and even testified on her behalf at her trial."

"I had to ask," said Elizabeth shaking her head and turning towards the door.

Josef smiled. "Well, Jean and Joan if you two don't have to fight the English tonight maybe we could head on over to a little party. I hear it will be quite a good time." Michaela and Sully laughed as they followed Josef out the door and into the night together.

The Costume Ball

As they stepped out of the carriage, a light fog had settled in the streets of Boston curling up against the window panes of houses giving an eerie feel to the night. Michaela was giddy with anticipation and she anxiously followed behind her parents with Sully at her side. The McNeill's house was marvelously decorated and full to the brim of costumed people. After formal greetings were exchanged at the door, Sully and Michaela headed off on their own to admire the different costumes and enjoy the magical night. The costumes were varied. Several other men were dressed as knights and woman as medieval ladies. Some children ran past dressed as Indians making Michaela and Sully smile. Similar to Marjorie, many of the women simply wore fancy ball gowns though some had partial masks on their faces.

Michaela groaned loudly as the girls from the luncheon seemed to descend on Sully like birds of prey. They each wore beautiful dresses and their hair was nicely done but Michaela hardly noticed. She still couldn't believe what Sully had done for her even after how horrible she had been to him all week.

"Who are you Sully?" Emily asked batting her eyelashes at him.

"Jean de Metz, French knight and defender of Joan of Arc," he proudly announced. Michaela smiled at him and blushed, crinkling her nose up in the process. Sully raised his eyebrows at her frustrating the girls who were not getting as much of his attention as they would have liked.

"I assume Michaela's Joan of Arc then," said Sarah casting a hateful look at Michaela.

"I am," Michaela answered.

"If ya would excuse us ladies," Sully said to the gathered girls, "I was just about to ask Joan here to dance." He extended his hand to Michaela and she readily took it as he led her on to the dance floor. It felt a little awkward at first, both of them wearing metal armor. Soon they settled into a natural rhythm and relaxed enjoying each other's presence.

"Sully, do you think that Elizabeth will get suspicious if we dance too much tonight?" Michaela asked.

Sully chuckled at Michaela's use of Elizabeth's first name. "She might," Sully answered. "But I figure we got a good excuse to be close tonight. Brothers and sisters can certainly dance."

"Sully, you've made me so happy," Michaela said. "I really am sorry for how horribly I have behaved recently."

"It has been a little tryin," Sully teased though both of them knew he was partially serious.

"I didn't mean the thing about the kiss," Michaela whispered leaning in closer to him.

"I know," he smirked. Michaela laughed as Sully swept her once again around the floor. The music ended and Sully lightly pulled Michaela through the crowd to the far side of the room where the doors of the ball room opened onto a balcony. The night was brisk but neither really minded. The balcony was just as crowded as the inside and no one noticed as Sully and Michaela slipped off to the side letting the darkness hide them. Michaela looked around nervously, afraid Elizabeth might be lurking about.

"Don't worry, Michaela," Sully said pressing his side against hers and slipping his hand around her hand. "I'm bein' very careful."

"I see that," Michaela returned.

"I wanted a minute to remind ya of somethin' that I think ya have forgotten." Michaela raised her eyebrows wondering what Sully was possibly going to say. "I'm waiting Michaela for you- only for you. I promise. I know we're just kids. I know that me sayin' that may sound silly to ya but I mean it."

"Oh, Sully," Michaela whispered. "I wish we were older."

"No, Michaela," Sully whispered. "Don't rush it – just let it be. We gotta be patient but someday it will all be worth it." Michaela leaned her head on Sully's shoulder wishing they could stay just like this for the rest of the night.

Boston- January 2, 1859

"Michaela don't' do this," Sully begged his eyes filling with tears. "We've waited too long to be together. We can make it work somehow."

"Sully, please I can't," the tears were flowing steadily down Michaela's cheeks.

"Do ya need more time? I'll wait for ya Michaela – for as long as it takes." Sully was desperate.

"I don't want you to wait for me Sully – not anymore. I've been selfish for so long; I can't ask you to wait again. It's not fair to you. It's never been fair to you," she sobbed.

"Oh God, what are you doing?" Sully asked as the tears now slipped down his own cheeks.

Michaela took the ring from her pocket and pressed it against his palm. The metal was cool but it burned in her fingers. Her only desire had been to proudly wear that ring and now she would never know that joy. She knew that her heart was literally being ripped out of her chest and that she was the one doing the ripping but she truly believed it was for the best – for her and for Sully.

The train whistle blew. "Sully you have to go," Michaela said trying hard to suppress the pain that was making her breathing difficult. Boldly, Sully pulled her into his embrace and kissed her deeply on the lips. Michaela couldn't help but respond even though she knew she should have pulled away.

Sully pulled back and looked into her eyes. "This is really good-bye, isn't it?"

Michaela could not speak but only nodded. "I would have waited for you forever," he said pulling her close once more.

"I know," she said finding a new strength within herself. "Because you promised me you would but Sully I release you from that promise."

He let go of her abruptly as her words began to sting him deeply. "I would have waited forever," he said again before he turned stepping onto the train and out of her life.

This is my first fan fiction. Please review and let me know what you think! Thanks for reading.