11/28/2017: I'm going to consciously start using a "P" to name each chapter. Challenge accepted. Even though nobody challenged me...

Chapter 19: Patience

This chapter will seem more light-hearted than the others. It's been hard for me to write anything serious lately so bear with me as I get back into the grove. Thanks for still reading!

I dumped my books on a table and was quickly attacked by dust mites. Wonder if the infirmary accepted sneezing as a serious ailment. Holding my breath, I flipped the cover of the book.

Central 46 Trial Reports 1849-1909 A.D.

It took me a while to find that book. I'd never been to a proper library before. The Ikebana one had been simple and limited to a single bookcase. The Shin'ō Library was enormous. Is that why library and labyrinth sounded so similar?

When I got lost looking for a scroll, I'd been ready to write my last will and testament when another student walked around the corner looking for a book on koi pond construction. I guess that explained why the place was so empty. People were just not interested in making their own koi ponds.

I flipped through the book, marveling at how detailed it was. They recorded every trial, even the minor ones. One trial went on for years because they couldn't agree on how many kilos of flour were stolen. I guess it didn't matter if you were a noble, a commoner, a taicho…if you committed a crime, you were held accountable.

If…

I wasn't too interested in the trial. I knew what happened, or rather what didn't. What I wanted was some clues on where all the taichos went. If I knew that, if I knew a location, I could finally find him and get the truth.

While I was still trying to figure out how a library worked, I went around asking officers on what had happened all those years ago. From what I could gather, eight officers were prosecuted for betraying the Gotei and sentenced for execution. However, they turned into hell butterflies the night before and flew away, never to be seen again.

Granted, the officers I asked were at a bar. But they weren't too far off the mark. According to Sentaro, the officers did disappear and nobody knew where they went. But the details of their betrayal were still a mystery to me. No matter how many people I grilled, drunk or sober, nobody could tell me what they did to earn the scorn of the Gotei.

Nobody except one person. And that person was going to tell me exactly what happened that night.

Because I'd been there. I'd been on that field surrounded by smoldering craters and burnt tents. There hadn't been a single soul in sight. In fact, I had been a little shocked seeing Tosen taicho because I thought nobody had survived.

Well, come to think of it…every time I thought about that night I'd vaguely remember meeting someone. Someone who acted kind but wasn't. Someone who talked about my hands…

I frowned. I'd just reached the last page of the year 1901. The year the trial should have taken place but apparently wasn't in the book. I started backtracking. Maybe I missed it. Why would they leave out a trial that almost tore the Gotei apart?

'It's got to be here,' I muttered. Suddenly, everything went dark. I caught the familiar scent of fresh cut grass behind me. 'You know, if you don't want me to know it's you maybe you should stop dozing off in the courtyard when you're playing hooky.'

Mai laughed and removed her hands from my eyes. 'Just because I'm sleeping there doesn't mean I'm playing hooky.' She pulled up a seat. 'Researching again?'

'Trying.'

'How's that going?'

'I can't find anything.'

'Maybe you need to-'

I flipped through the pages. 'Mai, the trial doesn't exist. It's like it never happened.'

'I mean, they were all sentenced to be executed without much of a trial. Maybe that's why it wasn't recorded.'

'Even if there wasn't a trial, there has to be some kind of documentation. Mai, eight high ranking officers did something that made the Central 46 so mad they decided to kill them all off. And then, when they disappeared, they didn't even bother to dispatch a search party. Don't tell me you don't find that a little suspicious?'

Mai grimaced. 'I do but…it was 100 years ago, Shuuhei. Whatever damage had been done was patched up a long time ago. It isn't…'

'…relevant anymore. I know.' I heaved the book shut. And started another attack of dust mites.

Mai sneezed violently. 'If you were that mad you didn't have to kill me over it.'

I half-coughed and half-laughed. 'I don't think the infirmary would see sneezing as a-'

'Serious ailment,' she finished and grinned. Then she leaned over and kissed me. 'You know you're a little too obsessed. You sure it's not something more?'

'Like what?'

'Oh, I don't know…maybe you have a crush on one of the officers?'

I could feel my face heating up. 'That's not-'

'Maybe you liked Kuna-fukutaicho. I heard she made boys faint when she smiled.'

'I don't-!'

'I'm just teasing, Shuu.' She tugged a lock of my hair. I think it was longer than hers now. 'You need to destress. May I suggest some cheap ramen and cuddling?'

'Tonight?'

'Yea-oh, wait.' Mai groaned and smacked her forehead. 'I'm running a mission tonight.'

I cocked my head. 'Mission? Since when did you start running missions?'

'Oh, right, I forgot to tell you. An officer from the Fifth Division asked about me. Said my Hohō skills had impressed the taicho and he wanted to see how I'd fare on a mission in the World of the Living.'

I raised an eyebrow. 'But you're still a student.'

'It's not unusual. Some students catch the eye of divisions and they vouch for a student's training. Depending on how well they do, they even assign them a seat before they graduate.'

'And you're interested in joining the Fifth?'

'Well, yeah. I like how they work as a team.' She leaned forward in her chair. 'Isn't there a division you'd like to join?'

'Well, I was thinking of applying to the Ninth…'

'That's a solid division. And they know you pretty well. You just got that promotion to junior editor too, right?'

'Oh yeah, I bet I'll just dazzle them with my grammatical prowess and paragraphing skills.'

Mai chuckled. 'Cut yourself some slack. You're a pretty formidable opponent in Kidō.'

'Not enough to catch the attention of a division.'

'Patience.' She got up to leave and kissed my forehead. 'You just need to do something crazy.'

Crazy, huh? I've been trying to do anything but crazy. I was a steady student, working a decent job, finally living on my own in a rented room with no crazy roommates, and dating a badass girl. My life was finally normal. And I wanted to keep it that way.

'She's cute.'

Well, almost normal.

I didn't bother looking for him. Didn't want to randomly wake up on top of a bookshelf and then spend the rest of the day figuring out how to get down.

'Tell me your name and I'll tell you hers,' I said lightly and scooped the books up.

'We've been over this.' I heard him leap from one bookshelf to another. Guess he still loved lurking in the shadows. 'If I tell you anything about myself, you'll never remember it.'

I clicked my tongue in irritation. He was right. But I knew there was a way around that. I couldn't ask direct questions. But I could get away with vague ones that might lead me to the identity of my mysterious guardian devil.

'So who gave you your name?' I placed a book on a shelf. A book on Kido. I'd already read it cover to cover at that Ikebana's place. The reason I picked it up was so I didn't attract attention to my research.

'I dunno. I just know that it's my name.'

I frowned. 'That doesn't make sense.'

'Well, how do you know you're Shuuhei?'

'My parents named me that.'

'No. You made it your name. There can be many Shuuheis. But there is only one of you.'

'Are you saying there are many of you?'

'…it's a possibility.'

I slid the trial book into a shelf. It looked noticeably less dusty than its neighbors. I wiped a few others to make it less suspicious. 'And where are these "many of you"?'

'Somewhere. Around.'

'Can you sense them?'

'In a way. For example, I can feel one right now.'

I froze. 'What…what's it doing here?'

'I said I can feel it. Not read its mind.'

'…I need to get out of here.'

'Aw, are we done already? I really wanted to see how close you'd get this time.'

I gritted my teeth. I thought I was getting closer but it was always the opposite. 'You're still an enigma. Happy?'

'Not really. But I'll give you a little hint: once you find out, you'll wish you never knew.'

I suddenly looked up, meeting fierce red eyes. 'What're you-?'

I blinked and almost toppled out of my chair. I looked around and saw I was back in my room. Stars flickered outside my window, the city below quieting down for the night. I could faintly hear the ramen guy yelling out orders.

I rubbed my eyes. At least, I hadn't woken up in class. It happened more often than I would've liked. Maybe it was the shadow guy's revenge for asking questions he didn't want to answer.

Once you find out...

I shivered. I wasn't afraid of him. I kind of got why he threatened me sometimes. It was because hewas afraid. Afraid of what, I didn't know, but that was his problem. I had more pressing issues.

I gazed out my window. At first, I thought I was just being dumb. Looking around corners, thinking my papers had been rifled through, books I really wanted conveniently missing from the library. But when the shadow guy told me he felt something close by it confirmed my suspicions and proved I wasn't crazy.

Somebody was watching me.

'Hello? Soul Society to Shuuhei? Can you hear me? What is the purpose of the semicolon in a sentence?'

I jerked awake. An article on how to make your own bone broth was being waved barely two inches from my face. I swatted it away and glared at Umiomi Ito. He grinned, the tribal moon tattoo along his cheekbone stretching out.

'I wasn't sleeping,' I muttered, picking up some papers and shuffling them. Of all the guys I had to edit articles with in the morning, it had to be Umiomi Ito. The guy was strung up on coffee, sarcasm and tattoos. But he was one of the few people I had gotten close to since I joined the Academy and was even on the verge of calling a friend the other day.

'Uh-huh. Resting your eyes?'

'I've been having…restless nights.'

'That's what you do when you have a girlfriend.' My hands slipped and scattered papers everywhere. 'I'm kidding, Shuuhei. But I'm surprised you guys haven't fooled around yet. Young guys like you can't wait to take a girl to bed.'

'I'm not that kind of guy,' I mumbled, bending down to collect all the papers.

'That's actually good to hear. Mai's one lucky girl to be dating someone as patient as you.'

'Yeah…lucky…'

Mai was a firecracker. You told her to be patient and she'd find every possible way to weasel out of waiting. When I told her I wanted to wait before we went all the way, I saw the turmoil in her eyes and almost caved in.

It didn't take us long to start dating. In fact, I was surprised at how quickly I jumped into a relationship after enduring such an abusive one. But I wanted to erase those memories as quickly as possible and replace them with more wholesome ones.

I didn't regret being with Mai for a minute. I truly cared for her. But the truth was, it wasn't easy getting him out of my brain. There were nights, like yesterday, where I'd wake up in a cold sweat, the sensation of his fingers on my skin still lingering from a nightmare. I could stay as late as possible at Mai's but in the end, I would always want to return to my bed, my nightmares, my guilt.

For a year, I lived in fear that Ikebana would storm into the Academy and demand I came back to him. He would expose me for deceiving everyone. In my nightmares, he'd wave his bloody stump of an arm in my direction while shrieking, 'He did it! He cut my arm off! He's a freak!'

Everybody I cared for would look at me with disgust as I denied it all. I would beg them to believe me. Mai would turn away, crying and saying she didn't want to be with me anymore. And when I'd turn to Kaien, he'd look down at me with such a stony expression I felt worse than dirt.

'Please,' I'd plead, puffy eyes and runny nose. 'It wasn't me.'

He'd raise an eyebrow. 'How can you expect me to believe you when you're holding a bloody sword?'

I'd look down in horror and see my hands dripping with blood, wrapped around a sword equally as scarlet.

Sometimes the shadow man laughed right before I woke up. Other times, he'd whisper, 'Told you…'

Ikebana never came. Nobody knew what had happened that led me to join the Academy. And Mai promised to be patient.

She wasn't the lucky one. I was.

'Hey, we got a couple of articles to edit before sending them in for the final draft,' Umiomi announced, squinting at one of them. 'Looks like there's a promotion ceremony at the Fifth next week so we need to get this one out first.'

'Who's getting promoted?' I asked as I took a sheaf from him. I grimaced at the first page. The grammar was so bad my eyes hurt. I could tell it was from the Twelfth. The day they got someone competent to write their reports I would serenade the guy with a love poem.

'The Third seat is getting promoted to a fukutaicho.'

'That's a big step up.'

'The candidate is pretty competent. He graduated from the Academy within a year.'

I stared at Umiomi in disbelief. 'You're joking.'

'Dead serious. The guy's a prodigy. The taichos had been watching him for a while.'

'Do they usually do that? As in, single out people for recruiting?'

'Sometimes. They'll often just send an officer to scout the newbies. So stay on your toes.'

'I highly doubt anyone will offer me a position as a fukutaicho, Umiomi.'

'Says the guy who took down five guards with a spell he'd read from a book. Don't sell yourself short, Shuuhei. You've got potential.'

I managed a small smile. 'Mai said I should do something crazy.'

Umiomi grinned. 'Ever considered a face tattoo?'

'The day I get picked to join a division I will gladly get a face tattoo.'

'I'll make sure of that, Shuuhei Hisagi.'

'I can't believe it,' I groaned, staring at the zanjutsu class schedule.

'It's not that bad,' Mai remarked, apparently unaffected by the unfortunate arrangement.

'Can I skip it?'

'No.'

'Pretend to be sick?'

'No.'

'Look constipated?'

'You're already doing that.' I shoved her playfully. She laughed. 'Seriously, Shuuhei, it's been a year. I'm sure Kenshin's gotten over his grudge.' I raised an eyebrow. 'Okay, maybe he hasn't. But you don't have to be afraid of him.'

'I'm not afraid. I just don't like being around him. If I can avoid him until I graduate, I'll be a happy Soul Reaper.'

Mai just hummed, her eyes now looking elsewhere as she tied her practice sword around her waist. She wanted to ask me something.

'Out with it.' She raised her brows at me. 'Come on, I know you want to ask me something. What is it?'

'Nothing!' she said, a little too quickly. She fiddled with her ponytail. 'Just…I'd been thinking about us. After graduation…maybe…I dunno…living together…'

I jerked to a halt.

Live together? How would that even work out? With my paranoia and her brashness, my need to keep everything neat and hers to keep everything un-neat. We'd argue, we'd get in each other's way, we'd…get to see each other more, and talk, and cook, and share stuff. And maybe, just maybe, I would finally have someone to open up to...

But, did I want to burden her with that?

Mai noticed I wasn't beside her. She turned around. 'Shuu?'

Mai…Mai was too innocent. She had accepted me but not all of me. And that's because I refused to share that part. She didn't need that after graduation. And I'd promised I'd save Reika-san. If I roped Mai into that, what would happen? How would she see me then? Would she still want to live with me? Was this relationship just…temporary?

So many thoughts raced through my head, none of them painting the situation in a good light. Why was I even doing this to Mai?

'Shuu, is everything okay?' Mai looked alarmed. Did I look that pathetic just then?

I shook my head, trying to smile. 'I'm just-'

'Alright! We got two teams!' barked our zanjutsu senpai. His bushy moustache had a life of its own as he yelled at us. It wasn't personal. He just liked yelling. 'It's eye for an eye! That means if I see you I pair you with whoever I please!'

'Shit,' I muttered. I looked at Mai. 'Hey-!'

'Hisagi!' I flinched. Too late. 'You're with Kuriyama! Battleground no. 62! Get moving!'

Kuriyama? Who the hell was-?

'So it's you, huh? Just my luck.' Kenshin strolled between us. He twirled his wooden sword on his shoulder and smirked. 'We'll finally get to settle things, ne?'

'Don't get so cocky,' I said coolly. 'This is still a class exercise.'

'We're going to try something different this time!' senpai growled. 'I want you to improvise in this session! Throw some punches, pull somebody's hair out! The real world isn't going be any decent either!'

Double shit.

I saw Mai grimace behind Kenshin, whose grin just got bigger. 'Today really is my lucky day.' He cocked his head towards our battleground. 'Shall we?'

I didn't look at Mai for any support. I was too busy raking my brain, going back to my street days. I knew how to fight dirty. That at least gave me an upper-

Kenshin swept his sword down and knocked me off my feet. I winced in pain and glared at him. 'Fight hasn't started yet,' I growled.

'No rules, remember?' he remarked casually, twirling his sword to bring it down on me. I quickly rolled away and onto our sparring ground. I unhooked my blade as I stood up, gripping it before me.

Bring it, asshole.

He came in at full throttle. I held nothing back, fending off his attacks as best as I could. Fighting with a sword was still new to me. I was used to fighting with my hands. And it looked like Kenshin had had plenty of practice even before joining the Academy. His style was unlike any of our zanjutsu senpais. It was forceful and unfettered. Like he was fighting to kill.

Kenshin suddenly twisted his hands, almost dislocating my shoulder as he disarmed me. I stared at my bare hands, shocked. That was so quick. Had I just…? Without waiting, he planted a foot on my chest and kicked me down.

'That was disappointing,' he snorted. 'But you're one big disappointment anyway, Shuuhei.'

He charged.

You're scared now, eh? How pathetic.

I gritted my teeth.

I ducked under his attack. He skidded to a stop, coming back around with his weapon. Too slow. He was wide open now. I didn't stop. I didn't think. I shot into his personal space and thrust my palm right into his jaw, hearing a satisfying crunch.

I could've knocked him out then but that's when I noticed a red glow to my right.

I quickly shunpoed away before the hadō spell took my head off. I landed in a nearby tree, kneeling on a branch. Kenshin spat out a tooth. 'Still got some fight in you, huh?' He lifted his palm again. 'Good.'

I shunpoed again just as the branch went up in flames. I landed next to my sword, grabbed it, and threw it at Kenshin. He took the bait and blasted it out of his sight. Just as I came in for a flying kick. I broke right through his sword as he brought it up to protect himself. Now we were both weaponless.

He quickly shunpoed away, eager to get some distance between us. Who was scared now?

'You must think you're tough,' he laughed, still spitting out blood. 'Coming off the streets and knowing tricks. Well, listen here-'

'Kenshin,' I cut in, annoyed. 'Shut up.'

I was sick of people looking down on me. It happened once and fucked me up bad. I wasn't going to let it happen again.

'Bakudo no. 62,' I murmured and pressed my palms together, feeling the familiar energy crackling between them. 'Hyapporankan!'

I drew a slender staff of energy between my hands. Without hesitating, I launched it at Kenshin. I watched his eyes widen when the staff multiplied and hurtled in his direction. I'll admit, it was satisfying seeing him pinned against a wall and struggling like a slimy eel.

'This isn't fair!' he yelled, his attempts to escape futile.

'No rules, remember?' I mocked him. I rolled my shoulders and winced. Damn, he really went all out-

I jumped as everybody in the arena began to clap. What-?

'You bastard!' Mai tackled me in a hug as our classmates swarmed us. 'Who knew you could go beast mode like that!'

'Did you see the look on Kenshin's face? Kami, he couldn't believe he was getting his ass whopped!' someone else laughed, thumping me on my throbbing shoulder.

'What spell was that? Was that the same one you used on those guards?' a girl asked, intrigued.

'Is it true you took out five guards with that?' another guy chimed in. 'It's kinda like your move now, isn't it? People are going to start calling you Hyapporankan His-!'

'-sagi!' Our zanjutsu senpai mercifully interrupted everyone to give me the evil eye. 'There's an officer who wants to see you.'

My heart did a backflip. 'An…officer?'

'Yes. A scout from the Ninth. He just saw your fight.'

Mai nudged me. If she hadn't I might have continued to stare at our senpai like an idiot. 'Yes, um, I'll be right over.'

'I could kiss you,' Mai said with a smirk as our senpai walked away.

'I think you could slap me and I'd react the same,' I said faintly. Suddenly, I was reminded of a promise half-seriously kept. I groaned.

'What's the matter?'

'Nothing. Just…Mai, how do you feel about tattoos?'

'They're alright. Why?'

'You may have to get used to looking at one.'