Learn to Live

I think you guys will really like this one. The next one should be up in a few days, I hope. Much love :)

Chapter 20 - Itch

It is October and the weather is just starting to get chilly again, and Alois is rifling through his drawers trying to find his favorite purple sweater, which after a twenty minute search ends up being hung up in his closet. He slips on a tiny black pair of shorts and matching socks, plus a white tee shirt, and then a green vest, and tops it all off with the sweater. Hannah inquires as to his pants-less state, but she knows by now that she may as well be trying to single-handedly move the Statue of Liberty, or pull a sword out of her stomach. He's not sure why, but he's always preferred wearing shorts; even if he has to wear multiple shirts and a coat to keep him warm, he'd rather do that than have to cover his legs. He knows Claude doesn't mind, and after checking himself out in the mirror in his bedroom, he has to admit his ass looks pretty damn good right now. Shoving a pair of dark brown boots on his feet, he heads out the door, putting his cell phone in his pocket and shaking out his hair.

Today will be a good day, he thinks.

It's one year ago today that Claude Faustus first kissed him in his classroom, and Alois feels silly for remembering the date but doesn't stop himself from smiling, and certainly doesn't stop himself from wondering if Claude remembers. Honestly, he's not sure if the older man even gives a crap. But there has to be a reason why Claude asked Alois to meet him here, because it's Saturday and Claude could be writing or doing a myriad of things other than spending time with him. As Alois rounds the corner, he can see Claude standing beside one of the benches, and he has to say, his teacher looks fucking hot. You know, in a completely non-sexual way, because he's wearing a leather coat and a sweater and he must be pretty warm, and who does Alois think he's kidding, really? It's not like Ciel is here to make fun of him, and Claude says he likes it when Alois smiles too much anyway, so he heads over, unable to stop grinning for the life of him.

Claude notices him and gives him a rare, soft, half-smile, waiting for him to get closer before leaning down and kissing his hair. He takes Alois' hand and instead of leading them towards one of the benches, he sits down in the grass, beckoning silently for Alois to follow. So he sits in Claude's lap, facing him, and lays his head down on the other man's shoulder. There is something abnormally peaceful about Claude today, and it must be contagious, because Alois' eyes are getting droopy even though he's just woken up only a few hours ago. After some contemplation, Claude lays down in the grass, bringing Alois to lay down against his chest. His head is cushioned by leaves of all colors, vivid oranges and reds and they are framing Claude's face like some demented halo, Alois thinks, and it's actually pretty funny because Claude is an angel but at the same time he is as far from an angel as anybody could ever be. They speak softly, or at least Alois does, mostly about nonsense, and Claude responds here and there with a nod or a small noise of acknowledgement. It's more than Alois is expecting, although Claude does seem off today, but not in a bad way.

Alois tries to concentrate, but it's so hard to stay awake with Claude's fingers running through his hair and a hand resting on his waist, so Alois lets his eyes close, and just listens. He can hear Claude's low chuckle, and then all of a sudden the fingers in his hair are gone, and his eyes snap open just as Claude's arms wrap around him and he rolls them both onto their sides. Alois giggles, because since when is Claude like this? So he asks, what's gotten into you today? but with his eyes, because Claude has taught him how much power silence can have, sometimes more power than words - and Claude answers verbally, I met you one year ago, and it's strange, because I tried so hard to hate you and yet here you are. And Alois must look confused, because he continues. You came into my classroom and I couldn't take my eyes off of you, and even though I tried to push you away, you wouldn't let me, you pushed back. And Alois knows no one has ever pushed Claude like that, because the man looks perplexed, but he is glad that he did, because it's probably one of the best things that's ever happened to him. The look on Claude's face is adorable and confusing all at once, so Alois scoots closer to him and wraps his arms around Claude's neck. The leaves are tickling his legs because of his damn shorts, and they're a nice pillow but Alois' neck is itchy as hell. Claude looks like he wants to say something else, but this is the most Alois has heard him say in like, forever - so he cuts Claude a break and speaks so his teacher (boyfriend? That feels weird to say) doesn't have to. I like pushing, he says, it reminds me I'm still alive.

Claude looks at him for a moment, and touches his face, and Alois can't believe that it still feels just as electric as it did the first time they touched. He's feeling adventurous due to their current position, despite the fact that they are in the middle of a park, but there is no one around, so he lays his hands over Claude's and presses their lips together. Claude responds immediately, rolling over again, pressing Alois onto his back and hovering over him, Alois' arms once again encircling his neck. Alois licks along his jawline, smiling when Claude tilts his head further back, and he cranes his head up to look at the man's face, watching his eyes flutter closed. It's nice, that he can make Claude go crazy like this, when he is already drunk from too much Claude, and all he can feel are the other man's hands or his lips or his tongue and all of a sudden nothing else is important anymore, but the moment they are in.

Alois wants to stay like this forever, but they've been longer than he thought, because it's getting dark and he has to squint a bit to see clearly. Claude manages to sweep both of them up gracefully off the ground, and next thing he knows, he is cradled comfortably in Claude's arms again, legs wrapped around his waist, one of Claude's hands around his middle and the other under his ass. He whispers Claude's name in a question, and Claude turns his head in response, laying his head lightly on Alois' shoulder in a gesture opposite from the usual. His lips brush Alois' neck softly, and it's times like these that make Alois realize how fucked up they are, and he's suddenly giggling uncontrollably and it must be catching because when he looks over, Claude is smiling - actually fucking smiling- and it's the most beautiful thing and Alois is completely blown away and he clamps his hands on Claude's face and full-on kisses him, and he's not nice about it, but Claude seems not to care, because in five seconds flat they are on the ground again. And then back up, because Claude gives him a look that says we are not doing this here, and he totally agrees - so he texts Hannah that he wont be home because he knows she worries - and hooks himself around Claude again and they walk (well Claude does) and Alois says to himself, this is a bad idea, but he's always saying that and he never listens to himself - so he lets Claude open the car door for him and then circle around and open his own door, and they're driving now, and everything's in Claude's hands and that's okay. Actually, that's more than okay. For the five-thousandth time in his life, Alois does not look back - but this time, he does so with no fear.

TBC