20.

When Ventus returned to the castle, He saw the dark boy dawdling in the main hall, near the entrance. Aqua was nowhere to be seen.
"Er…. Hey." Still, he wasn't sure if it was the right way to start. The other boy did not answer. Instead he came closer to the blond.
"Have you seen Aqua?"
"She's probably at the library or somewhere." The dark boy said it as if it was none of his business. "She sent me instead."
"Then, can you help me to carry supplies?"
"If it is what you want me to do." It was still hard to tell if the boy was sincere. Often his demeanor was snarky and his words were sarcastic. At least he let down his guard a bit, made him look less like being cornered.
The blond teen started to put the crates of supplies on the hand cart. He wondered if the other boy could pull the cart alone(these crates were quite heavy).

"These canned food and dried food should go into this pantry. Yes, there..." In the kitchen, they were putting the groceries in the adjoined pantry. The frozen food was already in the ice box, leaving fresh food stuffs. Usually such fresh food was hard to keep without being spoiled; though magic was helpful, they had to be consumed as soon as possible.
Something crashed on the floor while Ventus was arranging groceries on shelves. When he turned around, he saw several cans – the last batch on the table – rolling on the stone floor. Vanitas looked flustered, his eyes were staring upon those cans.

Yes, he admitted he was terribly unversed in mundane chores and activities, but it was… embarrassing? Funny, he can't even do such simple thing right! One mistake could ruin everything. His master might never allow mistakes as well as other flaws and weaknesses(though his standard of flaws and weaknesses was somewhat debatable).
"Take it easy. They are just cans. No one was hurt, and nothing was broken." But what's the matter? He dropped cans he was carrying. Shouldn't he be scolded for that? He swallowed, trying not to run from the scene.
The blond was picking up the dropped cans. Vanitas' eyes caught faint scars – some of them were very faint, almost invisible – on the blond boy's palms and fingers, probably from cuts, but outside of battle clearly. Ha, how hadn't he seen them earlier?
"I made mistakes a lot when I first did daily chores, though simple." Ventus put the cans back on the table. "I even got my injuries by broken glasses and porcelains sometimes. They did not scold me for broken cups and dishes that much. Well, they were a bit overprotective, but such experiences made me more careful." He handed a few cans to the other boy. "No one here forces you to carry all these cans at once. Hey, are you okay?"
The dark boy nodded, carried the cans to the pantry.

In his room, his body was sore all over, and he felt oddly drained. Though it was incomparable with usual training he had in the past, it was still laborious task carrying those (often heavy)crates to storerooms and store the contents repeatedly.
Yet he was wide awake in the bed. His mind was wandering like the other days.
"Stupid, stupid..." He muttered, tossing and turning.

He used to think about them being soft and naïve and stupid. Well, they might be still soft, but he knew they were not weak or stupid now(albeit clueless sometimes). They knew what they were doing most of the time, and allowed the other boy to learn from his mistakes though tolerating such small mistakes.
His old master would have sneered at them. Ha! How wrong they had been.
Not all situations were about life and death. And not all mistakes made a line between them. Some mistakes can be tolerated and forgiven easily. But back then, he had made every effort to accomplish the goal that old master set, could not afford to allow himself tolerating such small mistakes. Just like that old man.
Probably, he had been afraid of that. Making mistakes and being labeled as a failure.
Vanitas sighed, closed his eyes, though it didn't look like he could sleep so soon.

His thoughts were going on and on, taking tracks by their own. Then somehow his thoughts branched to something he never had: friend, or companion? He had no clear idea why.

As far he could see, Ventus (almost)always had people around him. And according to the blond, he and his friends learned from each other(even from their mistakes), encouraged each other, comforted each other. The memory of their friendship made them allow to overcome hardships.
Vanitas had been jealous of the blond teen, but while he had had no real desire of having anyone at his side(aside of that old geezer), it was just jealousy for the sake of jealousy. Other feelings were the same; every negative emotions toward the other boy were for their own sake, since he had given up yearning for what the other boy has.
Until he simply wanted to destroy everything.

Again, his wandering thoughts repeated inside of his head over and over.
Damn, I should stop it. Thinking so, Vanitas bit inside of his cheek. He didn't like this old habit and forbore to do so, but he could not keep himself from doing that now. At least it let him forget mild discomfort from his heart. He buried his face into the pillow, trying to purge his mind of such thoughts.

Terra will not return. Ventus swallowed lump in his throat. Holding the mug of tea, he looked upon Aqua across the kitchen table.
"I know." It was the first time she had spoken in an hour.
"He told me he wanted to start a new life. that's all."
They lapsed into silence. The only sound was pops from the old fireplace. They might respect the brunet's decision, though they wouldn't understand his reason behind it. Even if it meant Terra would give up the way of keyblade wielder.
How ironic that such decision was from the man who had becoming keyblade master as his biggest goal of life. Though Aqua kept her collected look, The blond boy could tell she was anxious. Maybe even upset.
"What do you want to do from now, Ven?" She asked.
Ventus did not give clear answer.

Days passed.

It was just another day. Although Vanitas still didn't understand why Aqua wanted him to participate in daily activities, he did what he was told. At least having something to do made him less worry about his still endlessly repeating and branching thoughts.
It was middle of afternoon. As he finished clearing ash from kitchen fireplace and was about to retreat to his room, he saw someone walking down the corridor, toward him. It was Ventus.
"Er… do you have time?" The blond scratched back of his head.
"Why?" The dark boy had some free time until the end of dinner. Although he didn't eat there(not like he'd eat anything elsewhere), he would spend some time helping Aqua cleaning the kitchen, then call it a day.
"Wait here." The blond teen said that, hurriedly ran somewhere.

The boy returned to the kitchen after nearly dozen of minutes, holding something in his hand.
"Hey, wear this." In Ventus' hand, there was an overcoat, holding folded mufflers in another hand. And he was wearing an overcoat and gloves.
"What is that?" Vanitas blinked, stared at the garments in the other teen's hands.
"We'll take a walk. I already told Aqua." The blond shoved the coat and a muffler in the other boy's arms. Still baffled, but the dark boy put them on anyway.
"No one ever said you can't walk out of the castle," The blond teen said, wrapping muffler around his neck. "though no one can be certain if it is okay for your heart. But I don't think it will be that bad. After all, you need fresh air, although it's a bit cold."
"I don't mind being cold." The badlands was always cold at night, Vanitas thought.
"You'll see why I brought you my coat once you're out." Holding the other boy's hand, Ventus began to walk. Instead of resisting, the dark boy just followed the blond behind.
Little did he knew it would be quite long walk.

It was middle of winter, Ventus could see frozen remnants of snow that had fallen a few days before. The sunshine was weak and barely warm, but since no wind was blowing at this moment, it wasn't that cold. But soon, in some tens of minutes, the sun will go down. It was about a month past winter solstice, the blond assumed.
They went up the nearest hill. On the top of the hill, Ventus looked down at the forest, now desolate and frozen.
"I used to like spring and early summer." He never asked the other boy about his favorite season. In the badlands, there was hardly any distinction between the seasons, as far as he remembered. But he wondered if Vanitas liked scenery of winter.
He sat down, heels digging into the dry grass and dirt. The other boy did the same. Without saying anything, they gazed at the western horizon.

They sat still, watching the sunset. Red afterglow spread over the horizon made Ventus recall certain red-haired guy he once met long ago, now one of his comrades. Whenever he visited Radiant Garden, he almost always meet Lea, spent time together. Including watching sunset at the castle or any other point with good view.
Somehow such activity painfully reminded him how Lea regretted what he'd done and mourned his loss. Although that guy acted normally – as if nothing bad ever happened to him – in front of the blond(and buys Ven the sea salt ice cream), he wondered if Lea can ever be happy again.

Now the stars began to appear as the sky darkened. Temperature dropped, but Ventus didn't mind cold – freezing – air. He looked up to the sky. There was no cloud or dust layer to obstruct the view; stars lit brightly in perfectly dark sky. The moon was waning, so it won't rise until midnight.
"It is still astonishing," He said. "that each of every star represents separate, independent world." The blond glanced at the other boy, who was casting his gaze downward. "Have you ever wondered what the other worlds look like?"
"Nope, not at all." It was more like murmuring than speaking. "I had not even looked at them."

Vanitas was not really fascinated with visiting new place or meeting new people. He preferred to stay at familiar place, doing things he was well-versed in: like fighting. He only moved around by his old master's orders, and never stayed too long. Few people saw him: usually he stayed at some corner to remain unseen or his Unversed chased people off before he stepped on open area.

"I haven't been interested in what the other worlds were like. In my eyes, they were too bright, disgustingly." He muttered silently.
"Then, do you have anything you like other than…?"
The other boy shook his head weakly. "What do you expect from a being composed with pure darkness and negativity?"
Ventus hummed.
"Are you sure? I'm sure there are things you can enjoy other than fighting or bothering me."
"I don't know what it means, Ventus." The dark boy snorted, still looking down on the ground.

"Terra said he won't come back." The blond teen spoke, breaking momentary silence.
"So?" Vanitas lifted his head, looked at the other boy.
"He wanted to start a new life. And Aqua asked me what I'm going to do."
Swallowing, the blond teen fixed his muffler.
"I think I have to decide if I'll stay and take my Mark of Mastery or leave and start new life in a few years. Well, either way, I will leave here eventually. Aqua seems to want me staying, but I, I…"
"I What?"
"I don't think I'd become a keyblade master." Ventus said it with wry grin.
"Wasn't it your dream?"
The blond boy shook his head. "Not really. It was an idea they constantly fed me. Not like I had other path. Master Xehanort had no intention to raise a successor; Master Eraqus might accept me as an apprentice, but his intention was keeping me in his cage with lies indefinitely. He already had suspicion about the other master and me, then why would he make me a master?" Gloved hand brushed his bangs away. His bright azure eyes hardened again, the other boy could tell the blond was upset.
"He told me I was talented, but that was all. In his eyes, I had never been a master material." He sighed, bit his lip.
Then the blond turned his face to the other boy. "What about you, Vanitas? Have you ever thought of what you're gonna do from now?"
"Funny, I've thought of many things these days, but I have never thought about my future. Like I have one."
"Perhaps we can travel around the worlds together someday." The blond's eyes softened as he said that.
The dark boy snorted. "Hmph, It's just your dream, not mine. No one will like a wild, dangerous creature roaming in their backyard. Or front yard, whatever. Especially that creature is spreading monsters everywhere."
Ventus sighed. It was so true. Though Aqua's magic helped the other boy holding his emotions so far, but outside of the castle, no one was sure. Yeah, under the starlit sky, there was already a sign of Unversed spawning, the blond could see the other teen wincing as his fist smacking and crushing dark spots around him. Soon, there will be more, and the cycle continues. It never made anything better.
"I'd rather stay in the castle, blondie. As long as I don't cause any trouble, you'll be happy. Aren't you? And I'm tired of hurting myself like this." All those emotions toward Ventus and others returned to him in the end, hurt him more, over and over. The twisted satisfaction from others' suffering never gave him true relief, for he knew it would be worse. He wanted to stop it.
Vanitas stopped his fist, drew a long breath. Dark spots around him disappeared, as if they were absorbed by the dark boy.
"But is there anything you want to do other than stay here?" He could hear the blond teen saying.
"Hell, no. I don't have any purpose, I don't belong anywhere, not even to you. My existence is utterly pointless."
"You can have future, you can make your own. Just like other people."
"So what? No one ever cared if I lived or died. No one will ever. I already outlived my usefulness, and I don't think I can be anything else." Vanitas scowled.
"Oh, please, please don't. Say. That. Okay?" When the thick, hard shell of cruelty and violence and arrogance cracked, all it can be seen through the crack was a black void filled with swirling mixture of helplessness, fear, anxiety, low self-esteem, uncertainty.
At this moment, Ventus nearly pitied him, knowing he hated it. But it couldn't be helped. Even though it sounded absurd.

Vanitas buried his head between his knees, muttering. "If the castle is my prison and this is my life sentence, then let it be. You know I've done so much to you and the world."
"Xehanort did more than you had done, Vanitas. He practically hurt everyone in every world and never cared." And never showed remorse, Ventus recalled.
Unversed were gone when their sole source was 'destroyed', and the rumor about mysterious 'Masked Boy' died down shortly after. No one was sure if the boy was real or not, they had no time to think about that, for there were more pressing matters: Heartless.
Unlike Unversed, Heartless were more persistent, for they do not have one common source. Some of them might have once, originated from researches started by Ansem and his apprentices, which was taken over by Xehanort later, but since their victims can become new Heartless, seeking their source was virtually meaningless, and complete elimination was nigh impossible as long as darkness is part of the whole world in some ways. It was still ongoing issue, even now.
"But that doesn't make me any better, does it?" The blond teen broke out of his thoughts by the other boy's words.
"Maybe." But who was worse? The mastermind behind all the schemes, or the pawn who actively carried out the plan?
Silence fell upon the boys.

"We are meant to be opposed to each other, anyway." Another subject brought by Vanitas. It was true to him as the old master intended it for his own goal.
Ventus shook his head. "That doesn't mean we should be at odds."
"Heck, there was nothing to repair from the beginning as we were destined to be like that." If so, reconcilement between them would be impossible, although the other boy would disagree.
"But at least, we can build our relationship from the ground, can't we?" The blond boy looked up the sky again. "When there's no reason to fight anymore."
The dark boy mumbled something, then fell back to silence. He was thinking again.

When there was no way making amend the damages inflicted to the world and people for they were already buried, forgotten, and healed by time, and when there was no means to mend his own pain by himself, and when they were no longer two sides of the same coin, yet there was no fitting piece for his fragmented heart…
He couldn't find any answer. At least alone.
His thoughts were interrupted by cold wind. Clouds began to appear and gather in the perfectly clear, dark sky dotted with bright stars.

"It's quite cold." Said that, the blond stood up.
"Yeah." The other boy did the same.
"Let's go home."
It was another long walk.

Obviously, it was past dinner time. Near the entrance, Aqua was pacing to and fro, waiting for the boys.
"Sorry for late, Aqua."
She frowned a bit, but soon it melted into a faint smile.
"C'mon, dinner is ready."

In the dining room, Aqua put a bowl before each of the boys, served them hot, steaming stew. "Here."
Vanitas looked sideways at the blond boy beside him starting to eat. He didn't really feel hunger or thirst(he only needed his own emotions to sustain himself), so he could've stand up and walk away, but he didn't want to do that this time. Well, at least he could copy what the other boy doing instead. If he could drink potion, why not?
"It's hot, so be careful."
They didn't say much during eating.
For Ventus, it felt good having such food to warm himself after spending hours at cold outside. For Aqua, she was fine with watching the boys eating their meal. For Vanitas, he didn't know what to think. He should've known that he had not been aware of such kind of sense. It wasn't that bad, however.

"I guess I have to restore this land soon." Aqua said at last, putting away now empty stew pot. Ventus knew she always considered that since they returned here, but held it off for some reason. Maybe she had been waiting for Terra all the time. She might wish she could live together like the old times, but they knew. Now she had no reason to pretend and put it off anymore. Perhaps, she could have decided not to restore the land, or even leave here.
"If you restore the land, then what should I do?" Vanitas asked quietly. He was still sitting at the table, eyes on the empty bowl.
"What do you want to do?" The blue-haired girl asked in return.

Looking at them, the dark boy pondered. He could see that everyone here was living according to the consequences of their own actions by will or by force, and he was no exception. He could blame Ventus for his current status, but if it weren't him, that blond might not have made such extreme choice. If things were different…
If only he had been able to get out of the clutches of the old master, or if he had been less aggressive and less abusive toward Ventus and more honest(though he never lied or hid his intention to the other boy, however not in a nice way), so he could convince the other boy somehow instead of taunting and threatening him, his life could be less miserable. Perhaps Ventus would've taken him back willingly. Perhaps if they could've forged χ-Blade that way, they would have used it to stop that old man. Then no one's life would be ruined like that, and they – Ventus – could be whole, free from emotional-physical issues. If only…

Maybe it's selfish, but now he wished he had someone at his side. If he was good enough, someone would've stood by him. Perhaps that person could make his life better, making him feel less empty and incomplete and…
He should've known earlier.

Looking the keyblade master in the eyes, he opened his mouth.
"I... want to stay here. Not that I don't have anywhere else to be. I don't know why, but I feel like..." He stumbled, but continued anyway. "I feel like I need someone by my side. If it can make me feel better."
"If you are gonna stay, I'll stay, too." Ventus spoke. Vanitas lowered his head, turned his gaze downward.
"But I still don't know what to to, or how to do." The dark boy mumbled.
"That's what we should figure out." The blond teen said. "Oh, yeah, I forgot to tell."
"Forgot to tell what?"
"I told about you to Master Yen Sid and some other person. I bet the person would be eager to see you."
"I think you and Aqua are enough?"
The blond smirked. "Having more helping hands isn't bad, I think? Come on, what could you possibly know when you're stuck here, seeing nothing but just this tiny world and us?" His tone was light, but others could tell he was also sincere. "Besides, I want to show him this place. Not a maze towards Oblivion he stepped in once, but in its true form."
Idiot, Vanitas murmured, but he didn't complain, nor did object. Perhaps he didn't mind at all.

After dinner, they cleaned up the dining room and the kitchen. For the first time in months, the castle felt less empty for Ventus. He wondered if Aqua felt the same, seeing her smile.

So much for today. It was night time, time to sleep. Aqua headed to her room, and the boys were walking side by side.
They stopped at the front of a door. Ventus tried to say something, but he wasn't able to find the right word. Seemed like It was still difficult to start something. He let out a sigh.
The other boy gazed upon the blond with crimson-tinted eyes, which were like dying ember – not molten gold full of malice and hatred as Ventus remembered, nor lifeless, dusty ruby yet with look of pain and anger on that day he threw his helmet down on the floor. Those eyes were almost unreadable, but trace of mixed feeling – anticipation and uncertainty could be seen. After that brief moment, he turned to the door.
"Good night." Simple, but it was all the blond managed to speak.
Vanitas didn't say anything back.

Ventus watched the other teen retreating to his room. He thought the dark boy might be changed a bit. But there was still a long road ahead, and he could tell it would not be a smooth road.
Pulling the other boy from the darkness or making him good or forging friendship with him was not what the blond boy expected at all. But people can change in good ways or bad ways by their experiences and influences from outside during the course of life, even though they cannot change what they are truly(their true colors).
Just a bit better was enough. Like a neutral party or some sort of companionship. A small improvement of behavior.

Of course he had more expectations, however didn't want much from the other one:
Accepting helping hands, not laughing at them and walk away.
Making effort and taking responsibility.
Understanding forgiveness is not granted, but have to be earned.
And learning to live and let live.
If and only if he could.
Those were all Ventus wanted from Vanitas. Not that much, or so much?

He could only hope.

Authoress L's Note: Finally it's done, though it took more than I expected. I started to write it at the middle of January, and now it's May. During those days, I had some ideas which were discarded in the finished work, such as:
- Vanitas showing what's inside of his suit(perhaps Ch. 11~12?)
- Ventus kicking Vanitas down during fight
- Ventus carries sleeping Vanitas on his back(Ch.20)
There might be more, but I think I wrote down most of ideas about Ventus and Vanitas here.