What Doesn't Kill You
A Clique Fan Fiction
Chapter 20

We broke up-yeah it's tough
Most guys would've been crushed-wastin' their time wonderin' where they went wrong
No way-not me-hey I'm doing just fine:I'm not afraid of moving on
It's easy-going out on Friday night
Every time I see her out
I can smile-live it up

Derrick Harrington shook his head. He was walking down the street, towards the old elementary school where he always went when he needed to be alone and think. The playground offered the perfect solution for him and he loved the feeling of being the king of the world-the feeling that he was just a little boy again without any worries-whenever he was swinging higher than the clouds. He loved the feeling of freedom that happened as soon as he jumped from the swing and landed on the woodchipped ground, the slight pain he always felt in his ankle after each and every landing. The pain helped take away from the pain of knowing that he and Massie were over. They'd broken up and sure it was tough and all-but Derrington had more important things to deal with-like the pain of a twisted ankle from jumping from the swings at its highest and fastest point-right before it flipped right over the bar at the tippy top of the swing set. Sometimes, if he was really depressed, he wouldn't jump and he'd hold on as tightly as possible, hurting his hands from clenching the chains, and allow his stomach to drop as he spin right over the top of the swing seat and came back down to continue his swinging session.

But Derrington's destination was not important. What was important was the fact that he wasn't allow the pain Massie had caused him to show. While most boys would go out and complain to their friends-wondering what they did wrong, acting like foolish, love struck idiots who honestly believed the failured relationship was all their fault, Derrick wasn't one of them. He could pretend he was doing abolosuletly fine and that his heart wasn't broken. After all, he'd proven with his relationship with Dylan-almost four years-that he was not afraid of moving on. He would never shy away from a new prospect-but he would put his all into a relationship.

The only thing he refused to do was lie. He wouldn't go out with his friends to some party or to do something crazy when he was miserable, no matter how easy it was to just put on a fake smile and act like everything was okay. Yeah, sure, if he ran into Massie he could force a smile and fake all those niceties he was required to do as an ex-boyfriend-and he could live up basking in the glow of her wonderfulness for those few moments, but he couldn't put himself through that pain, no matter how easy it was to pretend that it didn't hurt him.

All Derrington wanted was for Massington to happen. He wanted them to have late night phone calls again-the good kind, not the awful, heartbreaking ones like the one they'd had last night. HE wanted cutesy nicknames and playful teasings. He wanted them to know they would always be there to take care of one another and to text each other randomly throughout the day in a way only the two of them could understand. He wanted them to celebrate some sort of annevasary-he didn't even care if it was for something as simple as a week. He wanted to be introduced to her friends as her boyfriend once more and he wanted her family to finally meet him as Derrick Harrington, the love of her life-her boyfriend. He wanted his family to meet her as well. They needed to be able to mock one another and then hug and kiss to makeup when they went just a little bit too far. They needed to simply hang out-just the two of them without any lables. He wouldn't be the star quarterback of the football team if she wouldn't be OCD's golden girl who everyone wanted or wanted to be. All he wanted was to be hers while she was his.

Derrick would never get over her. She'd hurt him a countless number of times but he'd hurt her as well. They both hurt each other and they'd both hurt other people because of the other one. But that was just how love went when you were a teenage. You always loved the one who hurt you and hurt the one who loved you. Derrick sighed as he entered the elementary grounds and slowed his pace. The sooner he got to the park, the sooner he'd be on the swings and once his swinging was over-well, that was when he always went home. And he was the type of person who hated to rush anything that was important to him. He'd learned that from his experience with Massie. There wasn't much he could do to get his mind off of Massie, but every time he'd missed her in a way that was too much to handle, the playground had been a solution.

He stopped as he approached the swings. Somebody was already there. Somebody who would ruin his sanctuary. Somebody who would make it impossible to ever come to the playground to forget about Massie ever again. But, he couldn't just leave. He needed to be the old Derrington and be true to his heart. So he stood up straight, cupped his hands around his mouth and shouted towards the girl on the swings.

"Hey you! YEAH YOU! Don't you know you're beautiful?"

~CLIQUE~

I can smile-live it up, the way a single girl does
But what he-what he don't know is how hard it is to make it look so easy
The truth is-I miss lying in those arms of his
But I don't ever let it show-I laugh and act like
I'm having the time of my life
As far as he knows

Massie Block froze as soon as she heard Derrington's voice across the playground. She'd always come here as a secret hide away when the drama in her life got to be too hard to handle, but she'd never expected it to be Golden Boy Derrick Harrington's secret location as well. And that sort of ruined everything. Because whenever she saw Derrick staring at her, she'd put on her most realistic fake smile and bask in the attention she got from him, loving the jealousy the way every single girl did. She loved how she could flirt, but it was all just a show for his sake. The only thing he didn't know was how hard it was for her to make everything look easy-to make her effortless painlessness look like it was easy and coming to her naturally. The thing was-it was hard...it was difficult and it pained her more than the actual heartbreak did. The truth was...she actually sort of missed being able to let herself be locked in his tight embrace and knowing that he would never let anything hurt her. She never let any of it show, of course-she wasn't foolish enough to believe he missed having her in his life, of course. Instead, she smiled and acted like she was having the time of her life, laughing at every little thing, even if it was totally unneccesary. Because as far as Derrick knew, for Massie, the pain didn't exist. But here, in the playground of the old elementary school, she couldn't play pretend. This was the place where she shed her disguises and let the real Massie Block out. And now he was ruining that and all of her worlds were colliding all at once.

But...Derrick had started this conversation, and he had that playful smile on his face that showed he was willing to play. SHe loved that challenging grin. So she went along with it, deciding that for once, her heart could lead the way and the fates could control her destiny. "If you want me, show me. If you need me-tell me. If you have me, then you should love me. If I'm worth it, then start fighting for me," She declared, hoping from the swings and taking off, up the steps of the playground and straight to the tube slide, the ultimate domain of the playground. THe one place where you were always cornered, but always had an escape as well. It had always been Massie's favorite location on the entire playground when she was younger.

"I wonder what goes through your head when you hear my name?" Derrick wondered as he walked closer to the main section of the playground, where Massie stood at the highest point, staring down at him.

"You'll never know if you don't come up and force me to tell you," She challenged. "Of course-you have to catch me too," She winked, gripping the railing of the playgrounds and leaning over it, daring him to even attempt to try and catch her. Of course, she already knew she'd let him-after a hard enough attempt from him, of course.

"You wanna play that way? Well, I'll just tell you," He said, approaching the ladder to bring you onto the playground. "I'm technically single. But I'm emotionally taken. And I have been for a while. Not by Dylan, of course." He said as he began to ascend the ladder towards her. She didn't make an attempt to move. She wanted to hear him out. For the moment. "Because in my mind...and my heart-I'll always be yours," He finished as soon as he was completely on the playground. He was facing her and there were three little stairs that seperated them. It felt like a million miles to Massie. "I can say I'm over you a million times, but every time my phone goes off, I'm stuck wishing it was you who was calling or texting. The sad part is, it never is you and it hasn't been in forever," He sighed. But he wasn't moving any closer to her.

"I've been pretending to ignore you since I got back from London, but I've been more aware of you then ever. I notice every little thing you do. And it's all because I love you," Massie whispered.

"I love you too," Derrick whispered, smiling as he simply stared at her. Slowly, he stepped onto the first little stair towards her.

Now, Massie understood how cliched her relationship with Derrick had always been, but even she;d admit that what happened next was the most cliche thing of all time. It started to rain. And not a sprinkle-not a light rain... an absolute downpour, sort of like in High School Musical 3 when they were dancing on the roof and singing Can I Have This Dance?.

"Be my Troy and I'll be your Gabriella," Massie said, taking a step towards him, lowering herself one stair.

"Take my hand...I'll take the lead-every step, will be safe with me," He smiled, reaching out for her and pulling her close to him for the most cliche-d kiss in the rain...that was also the best kiss either of them had ever had.