Okay, so I am so sorry that this took so long. I found myself with a horrible case of writer's block and had to just delete half of this chapter and start over. I promised you a chapter for Christmas and I know that I am horrifically late. I am so sorry to have kept you lovelies waiting. This may not be my best chapter, but know that better ones are to come. Thank you for all of your support and patience. I love your faces!
Ryan was seething. After putting their daughter to bed, Amanda decided it was time for Ryan to know the truth. They sat on the couch while the blonde recounted the whole ordeal to her lover. It tore Ryan apart just listening, but she was careful to keep her emotions in check while Amanda spoke.
When the account was finished Amanda's face was littered with tears as she was pulled into the behaviorist's waiting arms, where she promptly cried herself to sleep.
Ryan pressed a soft kiss to the soft, golden hair before maneuvering the other woman in her arms before lifting her bridal style. Her legs wobbled a bit under the added baby weight, but she soon found her balance and began her way to the bedroom. She gently laid Amanda down before removing the blonde's clothes and then her own.
The shifting of the bed under the brunette's wait caused Amanda to stir, turning so that her back was to the other woman. Ryan scooted forward and took the blonde in her arms, holding tightly.
How could someone hurt this woman? Ryan though to herself as she buried her nose into the blonde mane. This woman was precious. It hurt her to know what Amanda had gone through, all for a woman who would never appreciate it.
Ryan pulled Amanda tighter to her, causing the blonde to release a blissful sigh. That noise, that beautiful noise, seemed to act as a catalyst for the emotion that Ryan had pushed down. The emotion that she had hidden so well for Amanda, so she could be strong for her, erupted within her as tears spilled from her eyes and cascaded down her face.
In the time that followed Amanda found herself feeling more at ease. Telling Ryan was definitely the right decision. Granted, on the first few nights she would dream she was back in Atlanta with him, but soon she would be awoken by a gentle shake and always found Ryan's beautiful eyes looking back at her. She wasn't alone anymore, she had a family.
Before anyone realized it Christmas was upon them. It was decided that Ryan, Amanda, and Emmy would be staying the night at Liv and Alex's on Christmas Eve since they would be celebrating their early the next morning. Not that either of the younger women minded. For the first time in years they had people to celebrate with.
"How does it feel?" Olivia whispered to Alex in the wee hours of December 25th. Despite having only retired a few hours earlier, both women were wide awake.
"What?" Alex questioned, nuzzling herself deeper in the Sergeant's embrace.
"It's your first Christmas with Ryan in nine years." Liv explained. "How does it feel to be celebrating with her again?" Alex smile at her, causing the brunette's heart to melt.
"It feels…" Alex closed her eyes, her mind searching for the right word. "Like home." She said with certainty. "But, it's not just because Ryan is here." She added. "Having you, Noah, Amanda, and Emmy here is what is making today special to me." Olivia smiled at the blonde before pressing their lips together in a chaste kiss that soon deepened.
Before the two could go much further there was a soft knock at the bedroom door. "Psst, Nana! Liv!" A small voice hissed on the other side. Both women smiled before telling the girl to enter. When she did she stepped only just inside the door and a hand, which they recognized as Ryan's, was covering her eyes. "Mommy says to ask if you are…uh…what's the word?" She directed outside the room. "Decent." They heard Ryan say.
"Shh." They heard Amanda say from the hall.
"Ryan Lee, you are not funny." Alex said sternly. "Now hand over my granddaughter right this instant." Emmy broke free from her mother's hold and raced to the bed, hurling herself at the older women.
"I'm sorry guys." Amanda said from the doorway. "I tried to keep them occupied, but they conspired against me." Liv laughed at the sheepish look Ryan was sending her girlfriend.
"I love you." The younger brunette said playfully, her arms reaching out to pull the blonde to her.
"You're a child." Amanda said, her eyes narrowing at the other woman all the while swatting the hands coming at her.
"And why have we decided to party in our room at 6:20?" Liv asked.
"It's Christmas!" Emily whispered loudly from where she sat on Alex's lap.
"By George, is it really?" Alex asked, feigning a British accent.
"I say, I do believe it is." Ryan answered in the same accent, her hands coming together at her hip as if she were leaning on a cane.
"We shall have to investigate at once!" Alex said, her eyes bugging slightly, causing Emily to laugh.
"At once, I say." Ryan finished. While Amanda and Emily were enjoying the performance, Liv merely watched stunned.
"Not gonna lie." She said. "You guys are starting to freak me out a little." Ryan and Alex chuckled.
"Can we open presents now?" Emily asked, yearling present in her voice.
"Yes, baby." Alex answered.
"But be quiet." Emily said as she crawled her way off the bed. "Mama says we hafta be quiet cause Noah is sleeping." She said before turning and taking off to the living room.
"Yea, shh." Ryan said, causing Amanda to whack her stomach in retaliation.
"Children, all of you." Amanda grumbled.
"I concur." Alex agreed.
A few hours later the four adults sat at the dining table watching the children play with their new toys while they talked about the day's events. Amanda wore a locket around her neck with the birthstones of Emily and their son on the white gold outside with a picture of the three of them on the inside.
On the floor at Ryan's feet was a brand new Xbox One, bought by her girlfriend to replace the 360 that Emmy had broken the week before.
Upon Liv's wrist sat a Timex watch bought soon after she mentioned to her lover that she had never been brave enough to buy a nice watch for fear that it would break while taking down a suspect. This one, the store clerk assured Alex, was practically indestructible and came with an impeccable insurance.
Alex was caught between watching her granddaughter play with her son and staring at the pictures in the frames sitting to her left on the table. It was a trifold frame with a picture of both her families. On the left, one of a younger version of herself and Ryan in their home in Wisconsin snuggled together with Nicole on Ryan's bed; Ryan, nestled between the two women and Alex's arms around her, and Alex were laughing heartily at something while Nicole watched them adoringly. The right picture was from a day that all of them had a picnic together. Amanda had been taking picture of Emily when her eyes caught the older women. Liv was holding Noah on her lap while he faced Alex, whose lips were pressed to his forehead, while Liv's forehead touched her own. It was a beautiful moment. In the center was a picture taken on Noah's first birthday. The team had gathered at their apartment and Fin had managed all five of them around Noah's highchair for a pictured.
A knock at the door broke her away from her thoughts. She looked to her watched and saw that it was almost ten o'clock.
"Who the hell could that be?" Alex said as she made her way to the door. If she had been paying better attention she would have noticed the conspiring looks passed between the other three women. She did not, however, and was thus surprised to see Liz and Lena at her door. "What are you doing here?" She found herself asking without thought.
"Is that any way to greet your god-mothers on Christmas, Lexie?" Liz asked, feigning hurt.
"That's not what I-"Alex was cut off by Liz pushing her way into the apartment, smirking at the bureau chief as she did so.
"Relax, Alex." Lena said, chuckling. "We were invited by someone else." Alex's mouth clamped shut as she turned to see the others had gathered around them.
"Am I missing something?" She asked.
"Usually." Ryan responded cheekily.
"Ryan, I do believe we have matters to attend to." Liz said, holding up the briefcase that Alex had just noticed she was carrying. What was wrong with her today?
"Yes." Ryan said, directing the older woman to the dining table.
"What is going on?" Alex asked.
"Patience, sweetheart." Olivia said through a smile as they followed into the dining room.
Upon entering they saw Liz pointing to something on a piece of paper where Ryan promptly signed. Ryan then turned her attention to her mother and held out the pen. Alex stepped closer. Her eyes prickled with tears as she looked at the paper. They were finalized adoption papers.
"Turns out I have connections when it comes to judges now." Ryan told her. "Liz was able to get it pushed through early." Tears finally broke through her reserves as Alex gingerly took the pen and signed her name next to Ryan's on the paper.
"Congratulations, Alexandra, you now have a daughter in the eyes of the law." Liz said with a smile as she pulled the lawyer into a hug. "I'm so proud of you." She whispered into her ear.
"Thank you." Alex said through a watery smile when they pulled apart, pressing a kiss to Liz's cheek. "Come here, you!" She said happily as Ryan walked into her embrace, smiling.
"There's more." Ryan said into Alex's shoulder after a moment. They broke apart to find Amanda standing next to them smiling widely. She handed over Ryan's wallet along with a manila envelope. The brunette then freed her driver's license and handed them both to her mother.
Ryan Prescott Cabot said the driver's license.
Emily Nicole Cabot said the form in the envelope.
"I've always hated my middle name." She heard Ryan say. "I'll still use Prescott at work, but my last name is now Cabot." Ryan gave a small squeak of surprise as she was grabbed for another hug.
"Thank you so much." Alex said, her voice thick with emotion. The two broke apart when Ryan felt a small tug on her jeans.
"Mommy, I'm hungry." Emily said, causing everyone to laugh.
A few hours later Ryan was placing the last plate in the dishwasher as Liv was placing Noah in bed and Amanda was watching Frozen, yet again, with their daughter. She walked out of the kitchen to see Alex staring at the photos on the table. It had been a surprise to her when Olivia had come to her asking if she had any photos of her, Alex, and Nicole together. It made her value to detective more, though, to see how she willingly accepted her mother's place in Alex's past.
"I've always loved that picture." Ryan said as she sat next to the blonde. Alex looked at her and smiled.
"What are we even laughing about?"
"You know, I really can't remember." Ryan laughed. And, as hard as she tried, she couldn't. "I hadn't looked at these photos in years when Liv asked for one. But this one was always my favorite." Alex smiled at her again, on hand straying to muss with her hair while the other traced her mother's appearance in the photo.
"She would be so proud of you." Alex said softly. "Just like I am."
"Yeah?" Alex looked at her then. Something about the insecurity in her voice caught her attention.
"You have made me so happy, Ryan." Alex told her firmly. Ryan nodded jerkily and cleared her throat, trying to keep it together.
"I know that you've said this before," Ryan said "but did you love her?" She asked, causing Alex to sit up straighter in her chair.
"I know it's stupid, but I've seen you with Olivia." The brunette continued. "If you loved her before, how could you love my mother?"
"Wait here." Alex said as she stood, pressing a kiss to her daughter's forehead. She passed the living room where Liv and Amanda were now talking softly with Emily's sleeping head laid on the blonde's lap. The sight brought a smile to her face as she passed.
When she returned she placed an old, light blue ring box on the table and pushed it towards Ryan. Inside, Ryan found, was a white gold ring. It was beautiful. There was a large, but still somehow modest, sized diamond in the center with smaller diamonds on each side going halfway down the band. The wedding band was under it with the small diamonds circling it.
"I bought that a week before I had to testify." Alex said. "Afterwards it was the only thing I had left of you two. I would dig it out and just stare at it on those nights that I missed you too much." Alex framed her daughters face with her hand, wiping the tears away as she did.
"I loved your mother, I still do." She continued. "Yes, I have always loved Olivia. But when I met your mother something inside me was hooked. She was amazing. I loved her so much I wanted to marry her. Never forget that." She finished, pressing another kiss to the younger woman's hairline.
Ryan cleared her throat again as she pushed the ring back to Alex, only for it to be refused.
"You should keep it." Alex said. "Your mother would want you to have it."
Just like that a memory flashed through Ryan's mind like a movie.
"Spaghetti." She said.
"What?" Ryan pointed to the picture.
"You were trying to make dinner but, for some reason the stove wouldn't light. So you put the noodles in one crockpot and made the sauce in another. The sauce was great, but you overcooked the noodles and they tasted horrible. Mom and I ate them until you broke down and said that we could order pizza." When she finished both she and Alex were laughing. The memory was so clear to them now.
"Your mother made a comment that the crockpot was my mortal enemy." She could hear Nicole saying it now, clear as day.
"Thank God you got better!" Ryan said, causing them both to laugh harder.
In the living room Olivia and Amanda looked at each other when they heard laughter.
"You think the Opera show is over now?" Liv asked, her eyes darting to her girlfriend who was embracing her daughter.
"Okay, 1) do they not laugh on that show? And 2) you watch the Opera show?" Amanda said with a smile as she looked to the child in her lap. It had been a long day for everyone, many tears were shed between the two in the dining room in particular, and the children seemed to conk out around Noah's bedtime. It was rather adorable.
"Shut it, blondie." Liv retorted playfully. "You know hospitals have shit cable."
"I'm glad we were able to pull everything off." Amanda said, her fingers running through Emily's hair as she spoke. "Ryan was worried that she wouldn't be able to get things together by Christmas."
"She definitely made Alex a happy woman." Liv told her.
"Who made me happy?" Came Alex's voice from behind them. Olivia turned to see both women standing behind her. Ryan stepped forward and pressed a kiss to Amanda's hair, one hand moving to rest on the other woman's rounding stomach while the other moved to gently rouse their daughter. The older women watched with small smiles gracing their faces at the sight.
"Before you two leave, there is one more gift we want to give you." Olivia said, drawing surprised looks from the younger women. The older brunette looked to Alex, whose eyes widened. In all of the commotion she had forgotten.
"That's right!" She said as Olivia moved to grab a small box from Alex's purse and handing it to Amanda. Alex then went to their bedroom to retrieve a stack of papers from the safe, which she then handed to Ryan.
Amanda opened the box to reveal a set of three identical keys on a key ring while Ryan looked at the papers in her hand disbelievingly.
"Keys?" Amanda asked.
"To a brownstone in our names." Ryan told her
"What?!" Amanda shouted, forgetting the sleeping child in her arms.
"It was my mother's." Alex told them. "We aren't going to use it and you two will need the extra room soon."
"Are you sure?" Ryan asked. Alex shot her a bright smile.
"Yes." Alex told her.
"Thank you, guys." Amanda said.
"Feel free to make it your own." Alex told them. Ryan rushed forward and hugged her mother again before showing Olivia the same treatment, Amanda following soon after.
"Alright, you two." Olivia said. "You get that kid home, get a good night's sleep, and we'll meet you at the brownstone tomorrow to look around." The younger women nodded before taking their leave.
After shutting the door behind her guests, Olivia turned to see Alex placing her new framed pictures on the small table by the door. Stepping forward, she placed her arms around the blonde woman's waist and placed a kiss to the back of her neck.
"She really was beautiful." Olivia remarked. Alex placed her hands atop her lover's, turned her head to kiss the other woman's cheek. "I have something else for you." She said, stepping away from a surprised Alex.
"You didn't have to get me anything else." Alex told her.
"I know." Liv said through a smile. "I wanted to." Alex followed Olivia to their bedroom where she sat on the bed as the other woman pulled a long, slim jewelry box from her gun safe. Inside, Alex found, was a white gold necklace, similar to Amanda's gift, with a circular pendant with Alex and Olivia's birthstones on top together with Noah and Ryan's birthstones underneath.
"It's beautiful." She said, wiping at the corner of her eye. How could she still have tears to cry? It seemed as if she had been doing nothing else today. What was wrong with her?
"I thought that it seemed fitting. Especially after today. Now you can take us, and them, with you wherever you go." Olivia said, taking the necklace from the box and securing it around the blonde's neck.
"You knew?" Alex asked, causing Olivia to smile at her sweetly.
"I knew about the adoption papers." The brunette answered. "I had no idea she changed their names. I guess that means when we get married I should take your last name. It would be a shame to make her effort all for not." Lips were pressed against hers as soon as the detective finished her sentence. Alex used Olivia's gasp of surprise to deepen the kiss, moving to straddle the other woman.
"If we get married, you want to take my name?" Alex asked when they pulled apart, brushing some hair from the older woman's face.
"When, not if." Olivia answered. "And yes. I'll keep Benson for work, but my name can be Cabot legally." Alex smiled at her brightly, kissing her again.
"You don't have to." Alex tells her.
"The only ties I have to my name is an alcoholic mother." Olivia tells her. "We can talk about it later, you know like when we get engaged, but just know that I'm willing."
"You really love me." Alex stated in an awe filled voice, causing Oliva to stare at her in bewilderment.
"Of course I do." She said. "I love you so much, baby." Alex smiled at her again.
"Show me." She whispered against the brunette's lips before searing them together in a heated kiss.
Again, sorry for the wait. Feedback is still loved! And sorry about any mistakes, I just wanted to get this posted as quick as possible,