Disclaimer: The Characters and all recognisable situations belong to Stephenie Meyer. This is a work of fan fiction and no copyright infringement is intended.
Chapter 19
Sadie's POV
I wake with my head against Paul's shoulder and his muscled arms holding me tight against him. His head is tilted back resting on the top of the sofa, exposing his neck as he snores softly.
Oh jeez, I want to lick his neck, every part. Nibble my way up until I can bite his chin before working my way to his lips. I want to lick them too, I know he's gonna taste so good, I know he's going to feel so good.
Breathing heavily as the images invade my mind, I shake my head to bring me out of my fantasy before I get turned on. Leah has warned me about their strong sense of smell and I don't want the embarrassment of Paul smelling my arousal, even if it is for him.
I let my thoughts drift to my dad and the spreading of the ashes. I meant what I said to Paul, I'm not so sure I have the stomach to run and scatter them at the same time. But then again, if I hadn't of met Paul and was on my own I would have had to do it then.
Perhaps I could climb to the top of a tree and scatter them that way, umm, is Paul really going to let me climb that high without him, probably not. Maybe Leah could do it for me, ugh, I dunno, I'll have to ask Paul what he thinks.
Two days. It's been just two days since my dad died. This mornings episode, crying at Sam and Emily's house seems to have been quite therapeutic as this is the first time I've been able to think of him without wanting to sob like a baby. It hurts, hurts like crazy that he's not here but it doesn't seem as raw, I feel like I can cope with the world again, providing it doesn't throw too much at me.
Yawning I snuggle back against Paul and he grips me tighter and moves his head, running his face through my hair and I hear him breathe me in.
"Hey" I mumble, rubbing my thumb against his hand.
"Hey" he yawns back, groaning as he stretches his neck and rolls his head from side to side.
Yawning loudly he shifts my position on his lap so he can look down and meet my eyes.
"I don't wanna get up babe, don't make me move" he whines playfully.
"Then we won't move, we can stay like this forever. Well until you get hungry of course" I affirm with a giggle as his stomach growls as if to prove my point.
"You stay here, I'll make us coffee and lunch" I say, starting to rise from his lap but he pulls me back down against him.
"Stay five more minutes with me babe, please" He begs hopefully, pouting his lip. I hide the groan that wants to escape at the thought of sucking and biting that lip, shit Sadie, calm yourself down woman.
"Okay, if your going to force me" I agree as I snuggle back against him as he strokes my arm.
"Tell me about how Emily got her scars? And why Leah acts indifferently towards her?"
Paul's quiet for a moment and a serious expression masks his face.
"Leah and Sam were once engaged to be married"
What? Leah and Sam? Paul has my complete attention as he tells me the story of Leah, Sam and Emily. I don't interrupt, just listen as he explains everything that happened with them and then Jake and Bella and Jake imprinting on Nessie.
When he's finished I stare at him, not quite believing everything I've heard. I twist on his lap so I'm facing him as I want to look into his eyes.
"Poor Leah and Sam. Emily had the power to let them still be together and she chose Sam to be her lover instead. How could she do that to Leah? She's her cousin, did she mean that little to her?" I pause for breath.
"And then Leah had to see it all, have Sam in her head, shit that's just plain mean, how did she cope? I mean I know she's a tough chick but still…."
Sighing I stop my ramblings and look at Paul, my own face now serious.
"Paul, you do know that I want to be with you don't you?" I confess as he smiles and nods.
"But are you sure, hundred percent sure that I'm what you want. That its not just the imprint forcing you to like me?. I'd never force you to be with me like Emily, if you wanted to let me go and find someone you liked without this imprint then as much as I'd be disappointed, I'd let you go, for your own sake"
He grips my head in his hands and stares into my eyes, "I want you, with or without the imprint. Your everything I want Sadie, everything and I'm not letting you go so don't even think about it" he snarls the last part, holding me tighter.
I lean forward and kiss his forehead and his cheek lightly before cuddling back into his arms.
"Then I promise that I will never mention it again. You and me together forever right?" I whisper.
"Damn right babe, forever. Your mine little girl, mine," he growls and kisses my forehead, rubbing his chin against my head.
"Is it not totally weird that Jake was lusting for Bella one moment and then he wants her daughter the next? I mean, talk about keeping it in the family and why the hell did Bella go for a dead guy in the first place, did she have no self preservation or low self esteem or something? I just don't get it"
He laughs dryly, "Bella was like Emily, the supernatural world was exciting to them and Edward dazzled her. She was this plain, clumsy girl who had nothing going for her and she saw how beautiful being a vampire could make her, saw how graceful she would become. Bella Swan was a very selfish girl with no regard to anyone's well being but hers and Edwards, it didn't matter to her who got caught up in the cross fire as long as she got her happy ever after"
"Umm. Well I'm going to have to try not to judge them too harshly, they are your extended family after all. Especially Emily, it makes me see her in a different light and I liked her before I knew and it's history, nothing I can do about it now. I just feel for my girl Leah"
"Your girl Leah?" he drawls, wiggling his eyebrows.
"Not like you mean you perv," I laugh, "Leah's like my kindred spirit, my soul sister. Whether she wants to be or not, she's stuck with me forever"
"I don't think she'll mind. It's been a hard few years for her babe, she needs a friend like you" he reasons quietly as his stomach growls again.
"Come on, lets get something to eat and I'll give Leah a call" I snicker as I rise and hold my hand out to pull him up.
Making sandwiches, I multi task and call Leah at the same time and arrange for her to come over in half an hour and to bring Ryan with her. I tell Paul I want to stop at my house and bring the frozen food from our freezer over so it doesn't go to waste. If Leah drives me over I can drive my truck back in case I need it which he agrees as a good idea, his eyes lighting up at the mention of more food.
"Can we ask Leah and Ryan to eat with us tonight? I'll cook, I'd like that"
"Sure you can babe, you don't have to ask"
"Course I need to ask, it's your house. I can't just invite people over without asking you first"
He frowns and starts to speak but pauses and looks in the direction of the front door.
"Leah and Ryan?" I say, guessing correctly as he nods and I jump up to let them in.
Chatting to Leah, I ask if she'll drive me back to the house which she agrees and then I invite her and Ryan to eat with us tonight which has them both agreeing with huge smiles.
"So" I utter, looking at Ryan, "I thought that as we're going out maybe you could do something with Paul?"
I wrap my arms around Paul's waist, "He's been great these past weeks but he needs some time off, take him for a run or a beer somewhere" I laugh.
"You trying to get rid of me babe" he mock frowns.
"No, I just want you to have some fun with your friends, let your hair down so to speak" I reply
"Sure, we'll figure something out Sadie, you leave it to me" Ryan chortles with a salute and a wink.
After more chatting, we decide to leave and walk back to Leah's and get her car. Paul pulls me into a hug and kisses my forehead, "See you later babe, call if you want anything" he pleads.
"She'll be fine Paul, back in your arms before you know it" Leah laughs at him, gently pulling me away as I quickly pat his arm and give him a tender look.
Paul's POV
As Sadie strolls away with Leah, I turn back and face Ryan, "So what do you wanna do, there's a game due to start soon, wanna watch?"
"Sounds good to me" he utters with a laugh walking into the living room as I go into the kitchen and return with a six pack and throw him one over, switching the TV on and sitting down.
"I want to ask Sadie to stay here with me for good, not go back to her house. Whatcha think?" I rush out before I can stop myself. After all I'm Paul Lahote, I don't need to ask other guys for girl advice, yet here I am laying my man card out for the world to see.
Ryan flicks the tab open and takes a long gulp before answering.
"If that's what you want then ask her. One thing I've learnt from Leah is that you have to say what you want, be straight with them. And I think that you and Sadie are so close now that you couldn't live apart, it's obvious you two belong to each other"
Damn right we do, she's mine, I'm hers.
"Yeah your right. Thanks man" I nod, eyes back on the TV, opening another beer quick and downing it in one as if to prove my manhood, girly conversation over with and forgotten.
Leah's POV
Driving towards Forks, Sadie's quiet for a moment before she twists in her seat to look at me, her face serious.
"Paul told me about Sam and Emily. I'm sorry that shit happened to you, I wish I'd been around back then to support you" she proclaims with a frown.
What? Hold-up, she wishes she could of helped me? She didn't even know me back then.
"I'd have just been a bitch and pushed you away" I smirk.
"Doesn't matter, I would of still tried." she states with a determined grin.
"Um. I don't want to hurt you by talking about it, I just wanted you to know that I know. I got your back Leah" she promises, looking so serious I can't help but snort with laughter.
"Oh fuck I'm so glad Paul imprinted on you Sadie. I got your back as well girlie, the other imprints aren't gonna know what's hit them with you around"
And neither will Emily. This is one imprint who isn't gonna bow down to her ways and I for one cannot wait for the day when Emily tries to pull one over her. My grin gets bigger, I know my cousin well and I know once she's got over trying to appear all sweetness and light, she will slip up somehow. Great, it's always good to have something to look forward to and I know Sadie can hold her own, this is going to be so much fun!
"Can we stop at the store first so I can get some things for tonight? I don't want to stop on the way back as we need to transfer the frozen food into Paul's freezer quick"
Forty five minutes and five bags later we pull alongside Sadie's house and head inside. She grabs some more personal items which I load into the trunk and then after grabbing some frozen ice lollies we sit on the front porch.
"I feel guilty for wanting Paul when my dad's just died" she sputters quietly, biting down on her lip.
"I want to kiss him, hell, I want more than a kiss Leah" she croaks, running her hands through her hair.
"And then I feel so so guilty that I'm having these thoughts, how can I want someone so much when my dad's just died, it seems so wrong, as if I'm betraying him by feeling happy"
I pat her lightly on the shoulder and try to think of how to answer.
"You love your dad Sadie. From what you've told me about him I know he'd want you to be happy. You can't rule your emotions, we all love and grieve differently and just because you want Paul it doesn't mean you love your dad any less or that your grief isn't as real"
She nods, rubbing her face with her hand and looking out at the distance.
"Paul doesn't expect anything from you, he's not going to push you into anything"
"Yeah I know, he's great. I'm…I'm falling in love with him. I know I love him" She whispers.
"Then just go with your feelings Sadie, your not hurting anyone and you deserve to be happy. Accept your grief for what it is - the loss of your dad but embrace the love you feel for Paul knowing that your dad would be proud of how you've handled everything and he would be proud of you Sadie, I know he would"
"Yeah, your right, I know your right" she points out and we sit in comfortable silence for a while, each lost in our own thoughts.
"When we first moved here, it was only supposed to be temporary" she looks at me and I nod for her to continue.
"We were told that the cancer was treatable" she laughs darkly with a sneer.
"But fuck Leah, he went downhill so fast, got weak so quick. Within six weeks he'd lost over two stones of weight and he couldn't walk further than ten foot. I was having to help him do everything and then he started to get confused, would call out all the time. At one point I hadn't left the house for over three weeks" she exhales loudly.
"And from there he got admitted into the hospice and I knew he wasn't going to be coming out but well, you still hope, you still pray for a miracle" she admits quietly, shaking her head at the memories before sitting up straighter.
"I know I done everything I could for him, I know he loved me and I loved him and that's all that really matters isn't it?" she observes as I nod in agreement.
She sighs loudly again and then smiles, "So, that's what I have to remember. He only ever wanted me to be happy and safe, I can do that, I can be happy"
"And Paul and us lot will keep you safe. Your not in this alone Sadie, we're all here with you, for you"
"I know" she grins, "Throwing a tray full of food over Billy was the best thing that ever happened to me" she laughs and I join in and then she jumps to a stand.
"So, lets get going. Why sit all maudlin here when we have some hot guys waiting for us" she wiggles her eyebrows and laughs as I stand.
She locks up the house and jumps in her truck saying she'll follow me back. I reverse back to give her room but all her truck does is splutter and refuse to start. She keeps trying with no luck to get it started so I jump out and run over to her.
"It hasn't been used for a long time, maybe the batteries dead" she muses.
"Don't worry about it, come back with me and we'll get Embry or Quil to take a look later, they'll sort it out"
She nods and jumps out into my car and I speed away, we have got our hot men to get back to after all.
Paul's POV
The game's just finished when we hear Leah's car pull up and park outside my house and we both stand and go out and greet them.
"My truck wouldn't start" Sadie complains with a whine making us laugh as I pull her into my arms, breathing her in.
"Do you want me to take a look at it for you Sadie? I know the basics, it's probably a flat battery" Ryan suggests, popping open the trunk of Leah's car and grabbing some of the shopping bags as Leah grabs a handful herself.
"Yeah that would be great, no rush today though I'm not going anywhere" she answers, walking over to help carry in the bags.
I beat her to it and grab the remaining bags in one hand and hold her hand in my other one.
"I can carry in some bags Paul, I'm not that delicate" she huffs, rolling her eyes.
"I know you can babe but I got it" I jeer, ruffling her hair.
"Yeah and I'm not five years old either" she huffs again, smiling when we hear Leah and Ryan laughing from inside the house.
After transferring the food away, Sadie says she wants to start preparing dinner and practically kicks us out of the kitchen so we sit out the back on the decking with a beer listening to her pottering away in the kitchen.
I look at Leah, silently asking if Sadie's okay from their talk earlier, she smirks to herself and leans against Ryan.
"She's fine Paul, it's nothing for you to worry about I promise" she volunteers as I relax my shoulders at her reassuring words.
"She's got a lot going on in her mind about her dad but she'll be okay, she's strong and she has us"
I nod in reply and Ryan changes the subject, telling Leah about the game we watched even though she has no interest and her eyes soon glaze over in boredom.
Half an hour later and Sadie comes out onto the decking with a bottle of water and plonks herself down on my lap with a grin.
"Dinner will be served in around an hour so you will all have to try and survive until then" she laughs, nuzzling against me as I wrap my arms around her waist.
"What are you cooking?" Leah enquires with a slight growl of hunger.
"Steak" Sadie answers, "Roast potatoes, mash potatoes and veg. Is that going to be enough for you all" she continues with an anxious look at us.
"Sounds great Sadie, thank you" Ryan responds politely.
"Yeah, we'll eat whatever you give us babe" I snort, kissing her head.
For the next forty five minutes we stay on the decking talking until Sadie excuses herself to go and check on dinner. We all offer to help but she declines saying she has it under control. I follow her through to the kitchen to grab some more beers, giving her ass a light smack before I leave, snorting when she throws a spoon at my retreating back and misses.
Sitting with my friends with my girl cooking for us, I feel like I'm going to burst with contentment. I haven't felt this calm since my pre phasing days and even then I don't think I was even half as relaxed as I feel now.
"Shit that smells good" Leah groans, licking her lips and interrupting my thoughts as Ryan agrees, sitting up straighter, getting ready to run in as soon as she announces it's ready which she does moments later.
I laugh as Leah elbows Ryan out of the way to get in first although I easily beat both of them too it, coming to a halt when I see the mountain of food Sadie has ready for us. Our plates are loaded high with four steaks each and mounds of mash potatoes, roast potatoes and different veg,
She looks up from dishing her own plate up, smiling nervously at our stunned expressions.
"Is this okay? I know you eat a lot, there's more staying warm in the oven if you want?"
"Babe, this looks and smells fantastic" I declare, wrapping my arms around her shoulder and kissing her forehead before we all sit down and start eating.
Sadie's POV
I can't say that they ate the food I'd made, more like they demolished it. In mere minutes all the food I'd cooked including the leftovers in the oven was gone, I'm surprised they didn't lick the plates clean as well.
Struggling to finish my own plate off, I groan and slide my plate towards Paul gesturing for him to finish the last bit of my steak and the two potatoes that are left. Leah gasps and gives me a glare that indicates she feels I'm a traitor for giving it to Paul and not her. I give her a big grin back and shrug my shoulders, trying not to laugh.
I stand to start clearing the dishes away and Ryan stops me, saying that he and Leah will do them so I let Paul lead me out the back where we sit waiting for them to finish. It's just starting to get dark and the airs cooler so I snuggle back against him for warmth.
"That was great babe, you sure can cook" he acknowledges in my ear before kissing the back of my neck.
"Your welcome, it was nice to cook again but I should of brought my own cooking utensils with me" I admit, stroking his arm as he cuddles me tighter against him.
"Don't go" he says quietly. Don't go? Where am I going? I turn to face him puzzled.
"After your dad's funeral, don't go back to that house, stay here with me" he whispers again, his eyes betraying his nervousness as he blinks furiously and quickly continues.
"You don't have to stay in my room, you can have one of the guest bedrooms if you want but don't leave me Sadie, please stay here with me"
I break out into the hugest grin ever. Seriously, my face aches from it, I'm smiling so wide. I lean in against him, resting my head under his chin against his chest.
"Well, that's good of you to ask but I had no itention of leaving" I whisper back, feeling his shoulders relax at my words.
"You didn't eh?" he laughs loudly.
"Well, I'm sure you would of noticed eventually but that was the plan" I laugh back. Realizing now is as good a time to talk as any I reach for his hand, entwining it with mine.
"I want to move in with you Paul and I want to sleep in your bed with you" I chuckle, "But, I need to take things slow for now, at least until the funeral is over. I don't know I just…."
"Hey" he whispers, tilting my head up so I can see his face. "I know. I understand"
He pulls me back against him, rubbing his face in my hair as I stroke his hand in return. Leah and Ryan come back outside making me jump slightly. Shit I had forgotten they were here, I flush slightly knowing they must of heard our conversation. In fact, Leah's face lights up, her eyes twinkling in amusement.
"So, roomies hey?" she jests, sitting on Ryan's lap.
"Yeah. And if you're a real nice girl maybe one day I'll cook for you again" I quip quickly making Ryan and Paul laugh.
Paul's POV
She's agreed to move in with me. Hell she hadn't even planned on leaving. Fuck, I really feel like right now I'm the luckiest guy in the world, my girl's staying with me, where she belongs.
I half listen as she chats with Leah and Ryan about some of the places she's ran and she asks Ryan about Ireland. Soon they get into a discussion about the best places to visit and before long their all planning a visit sometime in the future, the four of us travelling together.
My mind however is on the girl sat on my lap. After all the years of hating the thought of imprinting, I am willing to admit that when it comes to Sadie, I couldn't be any happier that I have her as mine.
And she wants me too, I know she does. I can understand her not wanting more at the moment, fuck, her dad's just died, I can respect that and take it slow. Not too slow though, I need her, I want her, I can't wait to have her.
"Shit, I forgot dessert" she shrieks suddenly, jumping to a stand. "How the hell did you guys let me forget dessert" she grins before rushing into the house and shortly coming back with four huge bowls of ice cream which we of course gobble down straightaway.
"Ohhh, this is great Sadie" Leah moans, "Where did you get it from, I've got to get some"
"I made it myself" Sadie boasts back, "They never put enough chocolate chips in" she wails, a disgusted look on her face.
"You made ice cream? Shit girl, you're my hero" Leah hollers with a smirk as I once again thank the gods for giving me an imprint who can cook.
Before we know it, it's soon gone past midnight and Sadie is yawning every so often. Leah and Ryan decide to go and after thanking Sadie for the meal, they bid their goodbye's and head home.
"You wanna go to bed babe?" I suggest as she yawns yet again, her eyes drooping.
"Yeah. I dunno why I'm tired, we slept earlier" she starts to complain.
"But you were up most of last night" I interject, frowning at the memory.
"Yeah, there's that I suppose" she giggles, leaning back against me making no attempt to move.
I chuckle and kiss her forehead, standing in one smooth move. She yelps quietly and tells me to put her down, that she can walk. I cuddle her against me, refusing to let her down. And just like the last two nights, I carry my girl to our bed, keeping her as close as I can.
AN: I've had a review asking if Emily is evil in this story and the answer is no, not evil, just a bit up herself. I don't have any plans to have a big showdown with her and Sadie (maybe a small one!) but I don't like Emily's character much so if I can get a few digs in about her then that's fine with me!
On another note, I do realize that Sadie and Paul haven't even kissed yet. I have a theory that once these two kiss their not going to be able to stop at just a kiss and I want that to happen after the funeral, not before. I hope you can all understand that.
As usual thanks for reading and reviewing.