As you approach the back door of the Shack you can see Stanford Pines pacing back and forth, face buried in a new journal he seems to be writing in. He doesn't seem aware of your existence until just before you reach the stairs. Quickly stopping and looking up he smiles as he sees you.
"Ah, there you are!" He exclaims, happy to see you. "I was hoping I would catch you. With everything that has been going on this summer it's got me thinking."
Ford quickly returns to his pacing, attention once again to his journal.
"We've experienced a year or more worth of adventures in the short time we've been here, and while none have had as catastrophic an effect as Weridpocolypse last year they have been rather numerous."
You nod at Ford, wondering what he is talking about.
"So many major events all piling up made me realize that we may miss the small things if we aren't careful. Because of that I've decided to start recounting the smaller exploits we've seen in this new journal." Ford holds up the journal for you to see. Much like the others it is a red bound book, his hand print in gold on the cover, yet no number on this one. "Once I'm done I'll add it to the collection… or should I say Mason's collection."
Ford smiles as he paces, intrigued by the very concept he just thought of. Quickly writing something else down in the journal he turns back to you.
"Anyhow, I wanted tell you about a few of the smaller events that have happened. Regale you in the majesty that is Gravity Fall's weirdness, so to speak."
You raise your hand, trying to object but before you can say anything Ford cuts you off.
"I know, I know. With all that's happened this year I could write volumes about the things that went on but I've decided that for time's sake I would just stick with a few."
Flipping his journal open he settles on one of the pages. Against your burgeoning regret for having walked up Ford starts one of his tales.
"I call this one… the Oinkinator." Ford begins.
"This one's called Walk the Dog!" Mabel giggled as she threw out the yo-yo in front of her. Expertly holding the string as the body of the yo-yo landed a few feet in front of her and held position, even as it was spinning.
Dipper and Mabel were taking the day easy and Mabel had suggested that they play with a pair of yo-yo's she had found in the shed. Since neither really had much to do that day Dipper agreed figuring that he could at least pass the time until dinner.
"Okay, let me try." Dipper swung his own yo-yo out in front of him, only to watch the body unravel from the string. He groaned as he leaned over and picked up the body. "Not again."
"It's okay, you'll figure it out eventually." Mabel comforted him as she pulled her yo-yo back in. "I mean, I've been doing this for a whole three hours!" She pulled back to prepare another trick. "Check this one out! I call it cat's cradle and the silver spoon!"
Flinging her yo-yo out again the body once again landed and hovered in place but this time the string began to from the shape of a half crescent moon.
"Yea, I'm not even sure how that's physically possible Mabel." Dipper watched the string as he would his own back up. "Are you sure you haven't been doing this for years?"
Mabel pulled her yo-yo back in as she shrugged. Dipper just shook his head at the display.
"What? I've gotta be better than you at something."
"I guess…" Dipper replied.
Hearing the door to the shack slam closed the two looked over to see Grunkle Ford making his way out to the parking lot. Hoping for something more exciting that this was he quickly ran over to Ford.
"Grunkle Ford, where are you going?" He asked as he reached the older man, just as he was opening the car door. Dipper smiled at the potential of a new adventure with Ford.
"Oh hello Dipper." He sighed… or groaned, Dipper wasn't sure which. "Stanley managed to make off with the last of my beef jerky today so I'm heading to the store to pick some more up, along with a few more things for dinner tonight."
Dipper smile faded as it dawned on him that this was just an every day, ordinary grocery run. "Oh I see." He moped. "You really do like that beef jerky."
Ford thought, then nodded. "After so many years in other dimensions you have no idea how good dried meat tastes on your tongue. Well, I'm off to get more. Oh, excellent Rube Goldberg Mabel!" He added as he quickly ducked into the car and shut the door.
Dipper flipped around to see Mabel holding her arm out, the string of her yo-yo in the shape of a large Rube Goldberg machine. Parts of a knot was even systematically going down the machine and through other gadgets she had shaped.
"But, gee, AHHHH!" Dipper yelled. "THAT'S NOT EVEN PHYSICALLY POSSIBLE!"
Mabel flicked her wrist and in a flash the whole thing came apart and the yo-yo returned to her hand.
Sighing and resigning at that thing was probably a mystical artifact from the Mayan's or something he gave up.
"Can we do something else?" He begged his sister who was mumbling out her thoughts on her next trick. Excitedly she smiled and threw the yo-yo away nonchalantly.
"Okay! What's next?" She chirped.
Dipper thought about it. With Grunkle Ford taking the car there wasn't really anywhere they could go. Soos and Melody were in town looking for decorations for the big birthday party they were planning for the Grunkles so that was out too. That basically left either the TV or somehow getting Stan to do something with them. Neither prospect seemed fun as there wasn't much to watch on TV at this time and Stan, from what they knew, wasn't in the mood for anything today.
"Well?" Mabel asked as she watched him delve deeper into this mind.
"I'm thinking, hold on." He brushed her off.
"Oh! I know let's..." Mabel started, only to be interrupted when the wind suddenly picked up.
Well, picked up would be an understatement. The wind went from nothing to blow a pair of twins off their feet in three seconds. Both twins quickly ducked down. Watching a lawn sign fly by the twins looked over to large blue glowing ball of energy at the source of the, what they realized was, vacuum of air.
They air around the ball crackled with thunder as small bolts shot out scorching the grass nearby. The twins held on for dear life as, in what was reality three seconds, they felt like they were being pulled for an eternity. The sucking finally dying down they saw the energy ball and vanished and a small crater was left in place.
Slowly returning to their feet the twins cautiously approached the crater. Reaching the lip they edged forward to take a peek.
"Duh duh, duh, duh duh." Mabel hummed as they got close. "Duh duh, duh, duh duh."
Dipper shushed her.
As they managed to get a view into the crater both twins were slightly confused at what they saw.
"Waddles?" Mabel asked as she cocked her head. Waddles was asleep upstairs in their room, why would he be out here?
"Mabel, look closer."
Mabel squinted her eyes and was shocked at what she saw. "Oh jeez, he's naked! Put some clothes on!"
Dipper rolled his eyes. "Mabel, he's a pig, he's always naked."
Mabel looked at her brother and shook her head. "Not when I put him in a matching sweater."
Dipper raised his finger to respond but realized that he couldn't. She… actually had him on that one. "Mabel, look at him closely." He whispered loudly to her.
Mabel squinted harder and that's when she saw it. It looked like Waddles had some sort of cybernetic augmentation of him. Robotic parts strewn all around his body. Before either could figure out what they were for Waddles began to stir.
Falling backwards the twins tried to crawl away from the crater but as they did the Cyber-Waddles made his way out and approached them.
"What… what do you want with is?" Dipper asked, somewhat afraid and more curious.
Rather than the oink that both twins had come to love from their beloved pet they instead heard a metallic voice, almost Austrian in nature, from the voicebox at Waddle's neck.
"You! You're in danger! You must come with me if you want to live!" Waddles replied.
"What? What danger?" Mabel asked, standing back up.
"I come from the future where the world has fallen to cyborg anima. I have come back in time to save the one who leads the uprising against them. My name is Waddles Mecha-Pines System 101 and I've come back to save you on the request of the rebellion. I must save the rebel leader and eliminate the one who started the downfall of civilization!"
"Wait, who is the rebel leader?" Dipper finally regained himself to stand up. "And who is the one who causes the world to end?"
"Its… uh…" Waddles looked between them. "The Pines Twin."
"Which one?" Mabel cocked an eyebrow. "The leader or the destroyer?"
"Umm… both?" Waddles struggles to explain. "One of them is the leader and the other is the destroyer."
"So which is which?" Dipper asked frustrated.
"Err… Umm… Fine! I admit it, I don't know! I can't tell you humans apart!"
"What! Rude!" Mabel looks away in disgust. "If my Waddles can't even recognize me then…"
"Mabel, he's a pig and we're twins. Some days I can't tell us apart."
"Oh right…" Mabel relents. "So what danger are you saving us from?"
"The destroyer will send someone back another to eliminate the leader. I've got to get you out of here before…"
Before he could finish the wind picked up again and once again another ball of crackling energy tore a crater in the yard.
"No, he is here. We must go now!"
"Who's here?" Mabel asked, curious.
Before he could answer out of the mist left over from the transport a single figure walked out… on all fours. The figure, cloaked in the mist locked its red eye on the two twins as it approached, then stopped, kneeling it's head down and chomping on some grass. As the mist cleared it became obvious who had come out.
"Gompers?" Dipper looked at the goat confused. He could see it too had mechanical parts attached to its body.
"BAAAAAA." The goat looked up and yelled at the kids. A fiery laser shot out from its eyes in their direction. Ducking at the last second the two finally realized what danger they were in when they looked behind and realized one of the trees behind them now had two burning holes in it.
"Go, now! I will hold it off!" Waddles shouted to the twins. His own pair of laser cannons popped out of his back.
Heeding his words the twins quickly turned tail and bolted for the back of the shack. Laser after laser shot out past them as they barely missed each time thanks to the interference of Waddles.
"Is he shooting at me or you?" Mabel asked as she ducked out of the way of one of the shots only to see her brother do the same.
"I don't know. I think he's like Waddles and can't tell us apart. He's probably just trying to guess his target."
Mabel stopped in her tracks, a laser shot zipped past her singeing a small amount of her hair. Dipper looked at his sister with worry as another shot whizzed past him.
"Mabel are you crazy! We've got to run!"
His sister seemed to be lost in thought for a second before looking into his eyes.
"Dipper, I think I have an idea! Follow me." She turned away and began to run for the shack again, this time the gift shop entrance. Confused Dipper had no choice but to rush after her.
Stan sat on the love seat enjoying the last bag of beef jerky he had found in the kitchen when Dipper and Mabel came barreling through then seconds later hissing and oinking behind them came a laser firing Gompers and Waddles after them. Stan took another bite of the jerky, eyes not leaving the TV.
"Yup, I don't wanna know." He said as he grabbed the remote to change the channel.
When Gompers and Waddles made it to the Twin's bedroom they found the door shut. After a brief shuffle Gompers managed to burn the handle off, allowing the door to open. The two animals entered to see Dipper standing in the middle of the room, holding his hands out and backing slowly against the wall.
"Now guys, this isn't what it looks like. Nobody has to get hurt, we can all talk this out." Dipper gave a weak smile, the one a defeated foe gives just before you finish it off.
Gompers eye focused in on Dipper, the red targeting light scanning his body before landing on his forehead.
"BAAAAAA" The goat exclaimed as the sound of the laser charging up filled the room.
"You don't have to do this!" Dipper called from behind the two animals.
Flipping around they saw that Dipper was standing in the alcove behind them. Confused Waddle's Iris opened up as it scanned the room.
Both Dipper slowly made their way to each other. Finally standing next to each other both Waddles and Gompers could only look between the two.
"BAAAA?"
"I don't understand. There can't be two of them. Who is the destroyer then?"
"Guys," One Dipper began, "We don't have to fight! We can work this out!"
"Yea!" The other Dipper added. "Remember the good old days. Remember when you two meant something to each other?"
One of the Dippers produced a scrapbook from behind his back. They flipped it open to the page showing Waddles and Gompers wedding, then another page showing the two rolling in mud, and another, and another.
"I… I can't…." Waddles drooped his head. "I can't fight you anymore. I love my masters but… I love you more!"
Gompers looked back at Waddles with a blank look on his face. "BAAAAAA."
"Me too. To heck with our orders, let's go back and start our own group where we can all live together and be happy!"
Gompers turned and started to walk to the doorway, followed by Waddles. They stopped short as they looked back at the Dippers. "We'll be…" Waddles started.
"BAAAAAA" Gompers finished.
The Dippers watched as the animals made their way back out to their respective craters, and in a brilliant flash of energy like the first time they disappeared.
Both Dippers took a sigh of relief as the cyborgs disappeared.
"That was good thinking." Dipper said to the other Dipper.
"Thank you!" The other Dipper smiled back. The smile fading the Dipper took a whiff of the vest he was wearing. "Seriously? When was the last time you washed this?"
The first Dipper tried hard to think up an answer but was thankfully interrupted by a questioning oink from the doorway. Waddles, their Waddles, had made his way in and was looking at the two.
"Well at least my Waddles knows who I am. Come here Waddles!" The other Dipper called out.
Waddles looked between the two for a second, confused, before walking up one of the Dippers and nudging his snout into their leg.
"Uhh…. Wrong one dude." Dipper tired to warn Waddles.
"WADDLES!" The other Dipper shouted in anger. Finally pulling off her hat Mabel's hair fell down to her side again. "REALLY?"
Correctly seeing his friend Waddles ran over to Mabel who picked the pig up and snuggled with him before holding him tight.
"Ugh. Man we deal with time travel way too much. If we ever have to deal with it again I think I'm going to freak out. Blendin twice, plus the Time Pirates, and now this? Man I am so done with the space-time continuum."
"Yup." Mabel nodded in agreement.
Dipper let out a sigh as he heard the door to the back slam shut.
"Kids! Where are you?" Ford called out.
"We're up here!" Dipper called out as he started to run down the stairs. No doubt Ford wanted to know more about the two craters that now inhabited their back yards.
As the room became still Mabel held Waddles in her arms. Putting him at arm's length she stared into his eyes. "Cyborgs huh… Naaa." She pulled him back in for a big hug before running down to join her brother.
Ford finishes his story as you snaps back to attention. You jostle yourself awake, having dozed off slightly sitting on the couch.
"Hmm. I do suppose that seems a little far-fetched. Time traveling barn animals was a bit of a hard pill to swallow myself but I trust that Dipper and Mabel wouldn't have made that up. Well I trust that Dipper wouldn't have at least."
You sigh deeply. There are other places you would rather be than here right now but it doesn't look like Ford is going to let you go if his searching through his journal is any indication.
"Ah, this one was interesting too. This time I can actually recall it myself as I was there. I call this one 'The Switcharoo'"
You groan and rub your neck as he begins again.
It had been a hard night for Ford. There was so much to be done up at the manor now that Mason was around and yet there was never enough time to do it. Never the less Ford was determined to assist his nephew with things that were so advanced he honestly hadn't even he imagined he would encounter them in all his life. Mason's portal and other gadgets were way beyond what he had ever worked with and Fiddleford's mind was expanding at a rapid rate to the point that he was inventing a new gadget every day.
And that was why, when Ford realized that he couldn't finish everything at the manor that night he decided to take it home with him. What it was actually was something he wanted to know himself. Fiddleford had told him it was an invention that he had created to install into the portal for stability of transport. What he meant by that Ford didn't actually know but he had been working on adjusting the parameters all night in the kitchen.
And that's exactly where they found him the next morning. With Ford slightly drooling on the table out cold the rest of them tried their best to not wake him. It wasn't easy, the device took up half the table and Ford basically took up the other.
Soos flipped the pancakes again as the batter sizzled. "Who's ready for seconds?" He whispered over the stove to the rest.
Dipper, Mabel, Melody, Abby, and Stan were all around the table, or at least the best they could be with Ford taking up so much of it. Abby quickly raised her hand, pancake still stuck in her fork as bits of the syrup flung into the air.
"Me! Me!" She waved her hand back and forth. Melody shushed her so she would be a little quieter but it was to no avail.
Soos chuckled under his breath as he slid the pancakes onto her plate. "Eat up dudes, there's plenty more where that came from."
As Abby dove into her next batch Mabel tried to lean around the counter to see Stan. "Grunkle Stan, shouldn't we wake him up?"
Stan rolled his eyes as he took another sip of coffee. "Good luck with that. This is the sleep he does when he's worked himself out. I've never been able to wake him from it before."
"Mhmm." Mabel pouted. She didn't really have any place to put her plate on the table and it was getting hard cutting her food as she balanced it on her knees. "Maybe we can move this thing?"
"I don't think that's a good idea Mabel." Dipper replied, not even looking up from his plate that he too was trying to cut with no luck.
"It is getting hard to eat like this." Melody admitted. "Are you sure we can't wake him?"
Stan sighed. Putting his coffee down he got up. "Fine, I'll just move the thing myself. If Ford's got a problem with it then he can complain when he wakes up."
Grabbing the machine as carefully as he could Stan attempted to lift it up. "Oh boy, this suckers heavy." Stan grunted as he tried to pull. Heavy it may be he did manage to get a grip on it and lifted it from the table. "He owes me for this." Stan added as he moved over to the corner.
Just as he neared his destination he realized his grip wasn't good enough to place it on the floor. Deciding he needed to adjust it he let loose one side and grabbed the another handhold. No sooner did he handle the other side did he realize the problem. It was slick and gooey , like someone got syrup on it…
Stan didn't need to think about who would do that because his mind was concentrating on finding a new handhold so the thing didn't fall. Unfortunately for him he wasn't able to find one in time and the device went crashing to the floor and a blinding light filled the room.
Ford felt groggy as he lifted his heavy eyelids. He must have dozed off after a while, working on Fiddleford's invention. Yawning he looked up to see Dipper and Mabel setting across from him with very shocked looks on their faces. Ford rubbed his eyes and blinked as he looked as his nephew and niece. Something was off about them today.
Staring for a second in their gaping silence it dawned on him what it was. For some reason the two of them were wearing each other's clothes. Dipper was wearing Mabel's Sweater and Mabel Dipper's vest. Deciding this must be some weird kid's ritual he shrugged it off.
"Good morning you two." Ford said… or at least he thought he said. What came out instead didn't sound much like him at all, it sounded more like… his mother.
Clearing his throat Ford tried again. "Ahem. Good morning." Again, it sounded like his mother.
"Oh no, this is not happening." He heard another unfamiliar voice call out behind him. It was someone else that sounded a little like his mother. Turning to see who it was Ford's jaw dropped in shock.
Standing near the corner of the room was an older woman who looked… well she looked like a bigger version of their mother. Standing not too far from him was a woman who looked like a much younger Abuelita.
Shaking his head he scanned around the room and saw Melody with her jaw to the floor and Abby clapping excitedly. Ford couldn't figure out what the excitement was all about this early in the morning and who were these ladies.
Yet as he processed it the thought dawned on him that he was in the company of ladies and he quickly looked down to make sure he was decent. That was when it dawned on him. Pushing out from his turtleneck Ford realized he now had a rather hefty pair of… well he had a ladies chest.
"What on earth?" Again the woman's voice came out from his mouth. "What's going on here?" He looked up to the twins for answers.
"Umm…" Mabel started.
"We've got Granuties now!" Dipper shouted excitedly.
"Wha… What?" Ford could only asked, stunned.
"Uh, now don't get mad," The older woman behind hesitantly started, "but I think that thing you were working on last night may have turned us into women.
"May have?" Ford asked as he looked down again, this time standing up to see the full extent of the damage. Yup, his chest was bulging out. He closed his eyes and reached down, hoping to find what he was looking for.
It was gone…
Just… gone…
"STANLEY!" Ford instinctively shouted at the top of his lungs.
The old woman in Stan's clothes jumped back, catching his attention. Ford stared at her, eyes burning with fury.
"What… have… you… done?"
Stan tried to motion to the device but when he realized that Ford was just looking at him his, or her should one say, stance changed.
"What have I done? I DONE?" She belched out angrily. "You're the braniac who brought this… what-it into the house!" Stomping up to Ford she poked him in the chest harshly to get the point across as to who was at fault.
"Ow, Stop that!" Ford brushed her off. The two stared angrily at each other for a moment. The though crossed his mind that fighting his brother wasn't going to get anywhere so he let himself calm down as he tried to think of options.
A quick scan of the machine told him he wouldn't just be able to put it back together again, not without help that is, so that was out of the question. In all reality there was only one option he had left to him. He sighed as he admitted what he knew he had to do. "I'm going to have to call Fiddleford and have him tell me how to fix the machine."
Stan crossed her arms expectantly. Looking around he started to take stock of who was who. He figured that the woman who looked like Abuelita must be Soos, no doubt about that. Abby looked the same, and so did Melody. It was possible that whatever effect that this thing had might have missed them since they were the two farthest from the retched thing. The two of them had gone up to Soos and Melody was trying to answer questions that Abby had with him.
Finally he looked at the twins, staring at him diligently for answers as he tried to decipher his next move. At that moment Waddles had finally made his way into the room. This got their attention as Mabel, or was it Dipper, called out to the pig.
"Come'ere Waddles!" The boy wearing the sweater called out.
The pig cocked his head to the side in confusion before walking up to the girl wearing Dippers cloths and nudging her for attention.
"Dangit not again! WADDLES!" The boy wearing Mabel's cloths shouted. The pig looked up confused before bolting back out of the kitchen.
Ford shook his head. No point in delaying this further as he quickly made his way into the family room to where the phone was. Stan had followed him into the room and waited by the doorway as Ford picked up the receiver and dialed Fiddleford's number.
It rang three time before the man on the other end picked up. "McGucket here! What can I do for you?"
"Fiddleford it's me."
He could hear the confusion on the other end. "Uhh… Is this my raccoon wife? I thought the divorce was finalized. I'm not giving you anything else!"
'Wha… no! It's me, Stanford. Stanford Pines."
"That's funny! You don't sound like him!"
"Fiddleford, something's happened. Do you remember that machine you had me take home last night, the one that helped with the portal?"
"Oh right! You mean the micro-reality stabilizer! I see you brought it back this morning when I wasn't looking."
Ford shook his head. "What are you talking about? I haven't returned it yet. Actually I wanted to talk to you about what it does."
"Um… are you sure you didn't bring it back?"
"Yes I am."
"Well then, call me a reality splitting hootenanny cause it's sitting right here next to me."
"How can that be? That doesn't mak… Wait. Fiddleford, did you have anything else next to it last night."
Fiddleford paused as was thinking about the events of their last night. "Yessum. I think I had one of the experiments I created when I was plum mad." He went quiet for a second. "Well would you look at that, its missing!"
Ford face palmed at the sudden realization that he must have taken the wrong experiment home last night. Great, so he spent all night working on something that Fiddleford made when he was insane.
"Tell me, what does that thing do?" Ford asked cautiously.
"Let me think. Now I was insane at the time, mind you, and I was having really bad thoughts."
"And?"
"And I think it was the one that implodes the universe!"
"What!" Ford shouted in surprise. The shock of the danger that posed now flushed all of the color from his face.
"Oh wait. Nope, that wasn't right. That one's still right here. It looks like the one you took swaps a person's gender."
Ford breathed a sigh of relief as the color returned to his face. "Oh thank goodness." Clearing his throat he asked the question that was burning on his mind. "So how do we reverse it? It seems we accidentally set it off here."
"Err… I didn't think that far. Insane remember?" He heard Fiddleford grunt on the other end. "I know! I can make a device that undoes the effects but…"
"But?"
"It uh, might take me a while to get it ready. Sorry Ford but you're going to have to be a woman for a while."
Ford growled at the thought but stopped when he realized that, at the very least, it was reversible. Besides, what's a day or two as the fairer sex anyway?
"Alright, keep me posted on your progress and Fiddleford…"
"Yes?"
"Please make sure you label your inventions from now on."
"Right…"
Ford set down the receiver as his shoulder drooped. It would be easy just to shut themselves in and wait this out, well for him at least. Looking up at the concerned look on Stan's face told him that it might not be so simple for everyone else.
Walking back to the kitchen he began to debate how he could tell everyone. It didn't take long for him to realize he wouldn't have to. No sooner did he reach the kitchen did he see Melody grabbing her keys and heading for the door with the others in tow.
"Where are you going?" Ford asked her.
She looked back, then to the others. "We're going shopping at the mall. Look, as much as I love having Soos as a lady I've got no clothes for him to wear and his Mr. Mystery outfit is just not big enough."
Ford thought about it himself. If they would be forced to stay in this form for a few days having clothes that were comfortable would be a necessity. His turtleneck was lovely but his new… accessories… made it incredibly tight. Nodding back he motioned for Stan to get his keys so they could drive together.
Splitting up Dipper and Mabel got in the car with Stan and Ford, while Melody drove Soos and Abby. They weren't even half way there when he heard shuffling in the back seat.
"I really don't want to wear this Mabel." He heard Mabel, or he guess it was probably Dipper now, say.
"Yea, neither did I but if you're going to do any sort of moving you're going to want it. Trust me, those puppies get sore in a sweater."
Ford had been tempted to turn around but the thought of what was going on back there made him immediately stop. He saw Stan shudder a little as he caught the sight in the rear view mirror.
A minute later the shuffling stopped and he took a look behind him. The twins had obviously swapped clothes as Mabel looked like she was wearing her sweater again and Dipper was in his vest. Or vice versa, again he was still getting used to this.
"Aren't you two bothered by this?" Ford asked them as he watched the boy pull something out of a bag in front of him. Ford realized it was a bottle of perfume
The girl shook her head. "Not really. To be honest this isn't the first time Mabel and I have been gender swapped, although last time it was our complete bodies and not just our genders. We just make do and roll with the punches."
The boy nodded. "Yup, nothing really bothers me about a boy's body anymore… thanks Grunkle Stan."
Stan looked up confused. "What'd I do?"
The boy giggled. "Nothing!" He uncorked the bottle and sprayed a bit of the perfume on himself. "Well, I guess the smell does." He shot a look at the girl.
"Hey, don't blame me. It's not my fault that my body's getting sweatier."
Ford turned back in his seat and watched the road go by as the mall approached on the horizon. 'I guess those kids will be fine' he assured himself as his mind went to the dangerous prospect of Fiddleford not being able to fix this.
Both cars parked in the lot, nearly empty at this time of day, as their contents poured out. Ford was still uncomfortable with the whole thing and being in public wasn't helping.
"Okay, change of plans guys." Melody called out as they met at the doors. "Turns out Abby here got affected too and just didn't realize it." Everyone looked over at her. Nothing really seemed different about her as she shrugged. "Kids, you guys are going to take her get some new clothes… take him. Get whatever you want, just no Edgy on Purpose."
Dipper and Mabel nodded.
"I'm going to take Soos and figure out if we can't find something for him." She shot a stare at the Stans. "I trust the two of you can handle yourself in the women's clothing department."
Stan rubbed the back of his neck and Ford looked away laughing nervously as they tried to agree with Melody.
She just rolled her eyes at the two. "Whatever. We'll meet back here one everyone's gotten some decent clothes on."
With that she grabbed Soos and dragged him in.
It wasn't really that hard for the old men to find the Women's section of the store they chose. The problem was picking something out. Since it was summer there were a lot of breezier dresses and shorter skirts laying around and honestly neither man had any sort of fashion sense to go with their new bodies.
"Hey Ford!" Stan called out. As he turned he saw that Stan was holding up a red cut off t-shirt and a pair of short shorts against himself. "What do you think? Do I make this or do I make this?"
"I would no sooner have my eyes scooped out with a melon baller than watch you wear that." Ford replied in disgust.
"Yea, I guess you're right. Red's just not my color." He admitted as he turned and replaced the shirt.
For was about to explain again when a pain started to develop in his chest, it was a soreness he had never felt before.
"Oww." He exclaimed as he rubbed the sore spots on the center of his chest. Stan looked at him for a moment before something dawned on him.
"Oh right. I guess that makes sense."
"What does?" Ford asked, looking up at him.
Stan scanned the horizon looking for something as Ford waited. Spotting what he was looking for he motioned for Ford to follow.
"I figure we should take care of the… uh… undergarments first."
"Wait… you mean the…" Before he could finish he realized that Stan had led him right into ladies underwear section. Strewn out before him was all sorts of garments ranging from lingerie to the simplest of cloth to hold you in. "Stanley we shouldn't be…"
He stopped again as he watched Stan pick up several bras, holding them up to his chest to try to see if it is a match. Having no luck as it Stan gave a look of frustration.
"Stanley I don't think you're going to figure it out that way. You'll probably have to try a few on to see which fits." Ford offered
Stan sighed. "Fine… I'll be right back." Grabbing a stack of Bras he made his way into the dressing room just to the side.
Ford turned to the garments and began to peruse the selection himself. He didn't really have any idea what his size was either but he figured once he found one he liked he'd be able to figure out the size.
"I just don't know how women are able to decide on these. Between the frills and such it seems like a monumental task." He said out loud to himself.
"Oh it's not hard." A woman commented behind him.
Turning around he noticed that Lazy Susan was walking his way with a smile on her face.
"Well then, how do you know what you are? It just makes no sense to me."
Susan opened her lazy eye and looked at Ford confused. "Whaaat? You don't normally wear one?"
Ford blushed as he turned away. "Err, no. This would be my first time."
"Oh, you must be one of those free range women! Don't worry, I've got a sure fire way to tell you what size you are!"
"Oh. Well if you don't mind I could use the help." Ford turned back to her and smiled. The faster he got past this the faster they could get back to Fiddleford.
What Ford had been expecting was for here to somehow produce a length of measuring tape and, as he would research later, go through the proper steps to measure out her bust. What happened instead was that Susan, still holding her other eyes open, used her free arm to push up on his chest and weight in her hand like she was observing a melon at the market. After bouncing it to see the weight she let it fall back to the earth.
"You're a 42 DD!" She told him exuberantly.
"Thanks…" Was all Ford could manage as he stood there stunned.
"Oh my pleasure!" She replied as she turned back to her own shopping.
It took until Stan came out of the dressing room for Ford to break for the shock. Stan shook his brother hard to snap him out of his stupor before giving him a curiously confused look.
"What happened to you poindexter? The garments too much for your advanced civility?" When Ford didn't reply Stan shrugged and placed the unneeded garments back on the rack. "Turns out I'm a 42 DD. Who'd have thought?"
Ford was now done with this day.
Mabel stood outside of the Teen's Choice clothing store as she waited for Dipper and Abby to finish picking out Abby's new clothes. She and Dipper already knew they would probably just swap clothing for a while but when it came to guys fashion she figured she ought to give Dipper a chance to shine. He probably wouldn't, mind you, as she knew his fashion sense was terrible but at least it was only for a short time.
She tapped her foot as the two of them were taking their time, which was odd in itself. She wasn't impatient or anything but there were way better things she could be doing in a boy's body right now. It didn't dawn on her that being at the mall might have its downsides until she heard a voice call out from across the walkway.
"Dipper?" Mabel looked up to see none other than Pacifica waving at him from across the walk.
"I'm not Dipp…" She stopped herself. While she could say that she wasn't her brother and explain the situation a more wicked thought crossed her mind. Waving back she shouted. "Hey Pacifica!"
She watched as the blond girl made her way over to the cross and onto her side of the walkway. Mabel took a quick glance in the store to see what her brother was up to. Sure enough he wasn't looking this way, instead he seemed wholly more interested in something Abby must have been doing just out of sight.
"Dipper… hi…" Pacifica said as she approached. Mabel could see that she was blushing a bit.
'Oh, this is too perfect.' She thought to herself. "Sup baby." Mabel tried to act all cool, leaning back even though there was nothing to lean against.
"Dipper? Are you okay?" She asked, confusion filling her face.
'Drat… Think more like Dipper. Think dorky thought!' She thought, trying to recover. "Nevermind me, how you doing?" Again she acted more like Robbie would, she realized, than Dipper but oh well.
"Are you feeling alright? Are you sick or something?" She leaned forward to try to feel Mabel's head only to reel back when she got close. "Oh gross! What is that smell?"
"What smell?" Mabel asked as she took a whiff of her vest. She could barely still smell the stench of Dipper on it but through the perfume she had put on. "I don't smell it?"
"Ugh, you smell like someone doused you in Mabel's cheap perfume. What is that scent, poverty?
"Hey! I'll have you know I like this…" She started to defend her choice in perfumes when she heard a thud on the glass of the glass of the store. Slowly turning she saw Dipper staring at her with flames in his eyes.
"Is that Mabel? Wow, she looks angry for some reason."
Dipper bolted for the door and Mabel quickly turned around and started a dead run. "Gotta go, bye!" She exclaimed as she took off in the opposite direction. A second later Dipper, or Mabel in Pacifica's mind bolted after her brother in a dead heat.
"What was that about?" Pacifica asked herself. A moment later another young man came dashing out of the store after the two. Pacifica stood surprised at how good looking the guy was in his designer clothes. "Wow, did Mabel get a boyfriend and I didn't know about it?" She asked herself as she watched the three barrel down the hallway, out of sight.
Soos did a pirouette in front of the mirror as he admired himself in his new summer dress. A yellow and green dress that Melody had picked out fit him like a charm and, if he should say so himself, he looked amazing in it.
Stepping out of the dressing room to rejoin her Melody looked him over. "Do I know how to pick um or what?" She smiled as she affirmed what he thought.
"Yeah dude, I look like I could take the whole world on!" He flipped the dress a little so the bottom fluttered around. "So what's next?"
Melody seemed almost giddy at the prospect of what was on her plate. "Well we could start with some makeup, or how about we figure out your accessories!"
Soos smiled at her. It was such a gentle yet loving smile that warmed her heart. There was no man that made her feel so loved like he did.
"Whatever you think is best. Dude, I'm ready for whatever you got!" He pumped his arm, ready to take that whatever on.
"Oh Soos, I love it how you just fit right in." She smiled as she walked up to him and gave him a big smooch. Soos reciprocated by wrapping his hands around her back and pulling her in, but not too much as he wanted to make sure she was comfortable with her belly so far out.
The kiss, while lovingly like Soos's kisses always were was a bit different. Instead of the slight roughness that was his almost childlike mustache this kiss was smooth like silk. His grip, while still strong, had a certain gentleness to it that he didn't often have.
Breaking the kiss she stepped back, arms still around her lover as she looked him in the eyes. Those deep loving eyes that told her that she was special. Eyes that she wanted to look into for the rest of her life.
"Hehe," Soos giggled, "That was nice." He quickly looked around and spotted something. "Oh, I think we should get my accessories next!" He let her go as he darted away to the jewelry counter.
Melody's gaze followed him, her smile bright, until she stopped on two figures who had watched the whole thing. Standing not even twenty feet away was Deputy Durland and Sheriff Blubs. The look on their faces was a mixture of confusion and shock. Thinking about it she wasn't really sure what so surprising to them was.
Then the thought of what they saw hit her. Her jaw dropped as she quickly tried to explain. "It's not what you think! It's…"
"It's okay! If anyone in town is going to accept you for what you are it'd be us." Blubs cut her off reassuringly.
"No I mean, with Soos and…" Melody was all kinds of beet red as she lost the ability to speak. She had no idea how to explain this and adding to the fact that if it got out what would she say to the rest of the town?
"We know how it is. You two made an arrangement and this is just you blowing off some steam. Don't worry, your secrets safe with us!"
"Yea, safe with us." Durland reaffirmed.
Melody sighed. This day was trying enough on her and now this. She gave up on trying to explain as the two policemen gave her a big smile and a wink of their own before turning and strolling away. She closed her eyes tightly hoping that when she opened them she would be back in bed next to Soos this morning and none of this happened.
No such luck as when Soos called out to her she opened her eyes to see that it was still the store. Soos trotted up to her wearing a gold plated necklace with a large question mark hanging from the chain.
"What do you think of this one?" Soos asked her.
She could only give him a weak stare as her body started to give out from the exhaustion of the situation. "I give up." Was all she could manage as she watched him give her a look of confusion.
The car ride back to the shack was interesting as Ford never spoke a word, he just stared off into the distance while Dipper kept yelling at Mabel for possibly screwing up his life. In the other car Melody fell asleep, too tired to continue this day any more. Only Abby seemed normal as she was bobbing up and down in her chair wearing her new designer jeans and long sleeve shirt.
Pulling into the shack they noticed an extra car waiting for them. Everyone barring Melody, who was still asleep in her chair, got out and saw that Fiddleford had arrived with a new machine much like the one they had broken this morning.
"Is that the…" Stan shouted to Fiddleford who quickly cut him off.
"Sure is! This thingamajig is exactly what you need to get fixed right up!" He stopped and blinked as he looked at the gathered crowd. "Ya'll sure you want to go back? I mean, this is a once in a lifetime experience. I could always come back tomorrow."
"Actually it's not bad being…" Soos started.
"YES!" Dipper and Ford yelled out as they both reached to silence Soos.
Fiddleford just shrugged as he fiddled with a knob on the machine. "Alright! Three, two, one!"
He hit a button and everyone reeled back as a bright flash of light filled their eyes. The flash fading everyone quickly began to check to see the effects.
"It's… It's back!" Ford cried out in celebration.
"Aww, I wanted to be Dipper a little while longer." Mabel bemoaned.
"No, and let's never switch bodies again!" Dipper chided his sister.
Everyone sure of their own status they looked up to thank their savior. Fiddleford stood there staring back, confused look on his face as he saw the shock on theirs.
"Whatsa matter?" He asked before looking at himself. Fiddleford noticed that he himself was now a member of the fairer sex. Looking down at his machine and seeing it smoking, and even melting in a few places, he shrugged. "Oh well. Workplace hazard I guess."
He was met with a mixture of groans and laughter.
Shutting the book again Ford stared out into the distance for a long moment. Quietly adjusting something under his shirt he turned back to you.
"Maybe I shouldn't write that one down."
You face palm at the suggestion as he flips the journal back open and begins searching through it. Landing on another page he smiles.
"Aha! This one is a good one!" You try to stealthily get past him as his nose is deep in the book again but no to avail. "This is a tale about the scariest time of a person's life…"
You stop to think of what he might mean. The thought dawns on you too late as all you can do is give a horrified look on your face back at him.
"HIGH SCHOOL!" Ford shouts as he begins his story.
Sherman held on as Stan made a hard right onto the roadway. He, Stan, Mabel, and Dipper were all headed over to the Gravity Falls High School for a tour of the building. Sherman had arranged a tour of the facility and Stan, seeing as he had a car and was nearby, got dragged in also.
"So why are we going to the school again?" Dipper asked from the back seat.
"Because I figured since you both are going to high school next year that I would let you guys check out what that has to offer." Sherman explained.
"Yeah but were going to a high school in Piedmont, not Gravity Falls."
"Err, well…" Sherman looked at Stan who could only shrug at him. "I figured it wouldn't hurt to see one a little different. You know, see how the other side of fence looks like."
"Okay…" Dipper seemed to accept the answer.
Silently Sherman breathed a sigh of relief. If they knew the real reason he was taking them he'd have a whole lot of explaining to do and it wasn't really a good time for that yet.
As they reached the high school the twins looked out to see if anyone had messed with the board yet. No such luck as it still said 'Have a Great Summer!'
"I bet Lee and Thompson change it as soon as Tambry and Robbie get back in town." Mabel commented disappointedly.
Pulling up they saw two older men arguing by the front door. "Ah, that must be the principal. We spoke on the phone and he said he'd meet us here." Sherman pointed out as they got out of the car.
They could already hear the two men speaking from the parking lot and it only got louder as they approached.
"And I told you before. I'm not going to be the Phys Ed teacher too! We don't need that class, this is a place of higher learning!"
"Listen Pult, our last coach quit so suddenly and you're the only teacher I have that has free time in the evenings. Please just consider it." The older heavy set and balding man paused. "There's even a big raise along with it." He tried to add.
The shorter, lankier man groaned. "Dean, I can't. You know what happened before. I just…"
The man stopped speaking as he noticed the approaching group. Pointing them out to the other man he stood back. The larger man turned and warmly smiled at the group.
"Ah, Mr. Pines! How good to finally meet you!" He offered out his hand and Sherman took it.
"Please, call me Sherman. This is my brother Stanley." He motioned over to Stan. "And these are my grandchildren…"
"Dipper and Mabel! Ah yes, you two have become a bit of a local legend. It great to finally meet the Mystery Twins in person." The man offered out his hand to them. Dipper took it and shook while Mabel tried a fancy handshake technique she had no dubiety seen on a TV show or movie. "Whoa there, quite some grip you have. Anyhow, my name is Dean Rictor but please call me Dean. I'm the principal at Gravity Falls High."
"Dean, as I asked on the phone I was hoping you could give the kids a quick tour."
Dean's smile faded as he took a glance over at the other man. "Unfortunately I can't. You see I seem to be in a bind as I need to find a new Phys Ed teacher before the summer ends." A thought crosses his mind as his smile returns. "I've got it! Pult, how about you give the tour in my stead. It's the least you can do since you're here."
The lankier man looked back and shook his head. "What? You're going to have me do it?"
"Yes, yes you are. Now please show them around and make sure they have a good time." Dean told him as he began to walk out to the parking lot.
"But, but I. Urgh, fine." He waited until Dean was out of earshot before addressing his new wards. "I'm Mr. Geist, the science teacher. If you will please follow me this way I'll take you around the school."
Without waiting for a response the man turned oh his heel and quickly made his way inside. Stan shrugged at Sherman who motioned for the kids to follow. Walking along Mr. Geist pointed out several rooms.
"That one is a Math room, and that one is too. Those are both English classes over there." He unenthusiastically gave them the tour.
"So, Mr. Geist, how long have you been teaching here at Gravity Falls High?"
Geist stopped and looked at Sherman with a look of annoyance. Rolling his eyes he turned and started walking again. "I have taught here for over thirty years, but before that I was a student here too."
"Wait, you went here?" Stan asked.
Mr. Geist nodded. "Yes. Even after all the incidents that have happened over the years I've stuck around."
"Incidents?" Dipper asked, curious.
"You hear about them in every school I'm sure. Doors opening and closing, books being moved, and the like. I'm sure they're just janitor's ghost stories to make the kids act more prim and proper."
Rounding the corner he pointed out several additional rooms. "These are the science labs, Biology on the right, Chemistry on the left, and my personal favorite Physics at the end."
"Why is that one your favorite?" Mabel asked.
"Because I teach it." He snapped back. "Now if you'll come along I'll show you the Cafeteria next."
Hanging back a moment Sherman let the four of them get out of sight. "Right, now for what I've come for." He quickly turned and opened the door to the chemistry lab and ducked in.
Pulling the Journal from his pouch he set it down on the counter and quickly flipped through it to the page he had marked this morning. Content he knew what he was looking for he began to scan the room for his target.
"Bingo!" He exclaimed quietly as he saw the container of glowing blue liquid setting in the case. Trying to open it he realized it was, of course, locked but that wouldn't stop him. Grabbing small cylinder from his bag he held it over the lock and pressed a button. The light whine of a small motor running filled his ears until he heard a click. Replacing the cylinder into his bag he popped open the door and quickly snatched the sealed container, putting it into his bag as he closed the case again.
Walking over to the table where he had left the journal grabbed it but stopped when he heard a voice.
"Grandpa Sherman?" Mabel called out to him from the doorway. Sherman froze, journal in hand as his mind began to race. "What cha doing?"
"Umm…" Sherman had to think quick or he could blow everything they were working for. "I was just relishing in a bit of nostalgia from my days in high school." He finally replied as he slowly replaced the journal in his pouch. He hoped beyond hope she hadn't seen it as Mason had specifically warned him against letting them see the journal, lest they recognized it.
Sherman watched his granddaughter for any sign that she was alarmed by what he was doing. Yet, all she did was smile at him and walk closer. Worried, Sherman closed his eyes and prepared for the inevitable. She must have seen it and she was about to expose him.
Instead… he felt her wrap her arms around him. Opening his eyes he saw that she was hugging him while looking up and smiling. "I bet you had a bunch of fun in high school."
Sherman smiled back, relieved that nothing had happened. "Yeah, it was a lot of fun." He leaned down to hug his granddaughter back.
The serene scene was broken only by a scream coming from down the hall. The two quickly bolted from the class room to see what was going on. Following the scream the two made their way to the gym and once they arrived they were treated to a very spectacular scene.
All around the air gym equipment, from balls to weights to towels, were floating round the air. Mr. Gheist, Dipper, and Stan were cornered by a set of wet towels that had twisted and looked like they were about to snap.
"Dude stop this!" Dipper shouted at Mr. Ghiest.
"What are you talking about? This isn't me!"
"I know it is! You just said you've never left Gravity Falls High since you graduated!"
"I meant as a profession!"
"Oh…" Dipper trailed off as they jumped out of the way of the snapping towels.
"Dipper!" Mabel exclaimed.
"Mabel watch out! Something possessing the gym equipment!"
Ducking out of the way of several dodge balls Sherman and Mabel scrambled to Stan and Dipper's side.
"Whats causing all this?" Stan asked.
Sherman looked around the room, trying to find the source. He paused when he felt the urge to look upwards. Seeing something he pointed it out. "Up there. I think that's it."
The blurry figure of something floated around the ceiling. As Sherman pointed it out the figure flew down behind Mr. Gheist.
"Behind you!" They shouted to him but too late. In the matter of a second Mr. Ghiests underwear was pulled up and over his head.
"Ah ha ha ha." A voice laughed as the image slowly became clearer. It looked like someone in their late teens wearing the jersey of Gravity Falls High. "Oh man, I've been waiting forever for this!"
Pulling the underwear off of his head Mr. Gheist turned around and gave a look of pure horror. "No, it can't be… you're dead!" He backed away from the being.
"Oh yea, but I'm still gonna keep tormenting you!" The ghost snidely tormented him.
"AHHH!" Mr. Gheist screamed. "That's it! I QUIT!" He ran for the doorway, nearly ripping off the hinge as he opened it. "I'm moving to Aruba!"
Slamming the door behind him the ghost just continued to laugh as most of the objects dropped to the floor, no longer being controlled.
"What just happened?" Dipper asked.
"I… don't know." Mabel answered.
"Oh, I think we know…" Sherman looked at Stan who rolled his eyes. "Come on now, you've seen this before."
"Whad'ya want me to do about it?" Sherman just scowled at Stan. "Fine, fine. I'll talk to him."
Walking up to the ghost Stan tried to tap its shoulder but couldn't find anything solid to do so with. Still though, the ghost turned and looked at Stan.
"Yeah, you got a problem with me old man?"
"Who do you think you are giving a wedgie to a grown man? That's something a twelve year old does! You're a disgrace to bullies everywhere, now drop and give me 20!" Stan shouted.
Surprisingly enough the Ghost dropped to its knees and started doing pushups. "Yes Coach!" it replied.
"Next time I catch you using such a childish method of bullying I'll have you do 100 laps around the field house, do you understand!" Stan stood strong against the ghost, trying to poke him in his nonexistent chest.
"Sir yes sir!" The ghost shouted out as his form started to disapate. A smile formed on his lips as he got weaker. "I'm just so glad that Gravity Falls High still has a good coach!"
"Wait I'm not a…" Stan tried to explain but was too late as the ghost disappeared. "Oh boy."
"Wait, how did Grunkle Stan do that?" Mabel asked Sherman.
Sherman smiled and patted her head. "Back in high school there wasn't a bigger bully than Stanley Pines. He'd probably have been expelled for it if it hadn't been for Ford always being around him and backing him up. Let's just say, the art of bullying is something Stan takes pride in and hates to see done wrong."
Heading back outside they saw a stunned Dean looking out to the parking lot. As they approached him he raised the façade of happiness around himself.
"Well, did all of you enjoy your tour?" He asked.
"Of course but… Well sorry about your science teacher." Sherman apologized.
Dean sighed, dropping his façade. "It's fine. I suppose now I need a Phys Ed teacher and a Physics teacher."
"Closing his book again Ford looked right at you. "That was an amazing story right? I know it might be hard for you to believe that any of those were true but I assure you they were!"
'It might be hard for me to believe?' You think to yourself. 'That's it... were done with this!'
"Of course I believe them; I was there for all of them!" You shout at Ford. "You're the one who wasn't there for most of them!"
Ford looks at you stunned. "Well yes Stanley of course you were… I just… wanted to make sure you remembered them as I do."
You groan out loud as you grab the door and swing it open. You need a Pitt Cola and to get away from your brother now!