Family

by The Middle Warner Sibling

A different look at the Warners. This fic will follow the siblings from their beginnings, through Animaniacs and beyond.

20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20 - Scandal

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June 27, 1993

Popcorn, juice, soda, candy, water…yep, got everything.

Treats organized, Yakko concentrated briefly while reaching into his hammerspace, taking out a large silver tray. Quickly he began piling the items on it, trying to hurry without spilling anything. In his excitement, he had already burned one batch of popcorn and spilled juice down his jeans. If he kept this up he was going to be late.

Looking over his shoulder, he could see Wakko still talking on the phone, this time to Buster.

Yakko shook his head; the phone had been ringing like a fire-alarm. At a certain point he'd had to take the phone off the hook for a few hours so they could learn their lines, get any lingering assignments done and attempt to get the tower cleaned up. He wasn't going to complain though; they had all needed the phone calls. The calls and best wishes from their small but growing group of friends had helped calm nerves and boost flagging self esteems as the day had worn on.

Skippy and Molly had called Dot to talk for a few minutes; each time she got off the phone she had a huge smile on her face and told him exactly what the conversation was about. Yakko wanted to kiss Lisa for introducing Molly to Dot… Thinking that over, maybe a box of chocolates would be sufficient. He had a feeling Lisa wouldn't care for it, though she never complained when she was in 'Hello Nurse' mode.

But he couldn't remember the last time his sister had been this happy. She was even happier when Porky had called her to briefly wish her good luck with the premiere of the show tonight and to tell her he knew the episode was going to be great.

Half the crew from 'Tiny Toon's' had called for Wakko to talk about the function last night and the premiere tonight. Buster had even wished Yakko good luck with the premiere when he had answered the phone; the rabbit had added he would get Yakko back for the forced dance with Babs.

Yakko hadn't been too worried; what could Buster do to him? Thinking back on some of the pranks the younger boys had been involved in and the fact that Buster probably helped think of half of them, he decided to watch himself for awhile when the blue bunny was around. The younger Bunny was actually creative.

Bugs and Slappy had called to wish him good luck, both older toons telling him not to be nervous or worried. They would both be watching the show and would see him tomorrow. Foghorn had called as well, sending his best wishes before wanting to talk to Wakko. Yakko had overheard enough of the conversation to know that Foghorn had told Wakko not to be nervous about the premiere, telling him stories about his first time onscreen back in 1946.

Getting Wakko laughing, the chicken had added that even though his show was premiering, he still needed to do his assignment. Yakko had already checked it; the chicken tended to give slack assignments, but wanted them done. This time he only wanted Wakko to practice Fritzing a small lit bomb. He could Fritz a non-lighted one, though the fuse on it tended to be about three feet long. Yakko had helped him with it, telling him to envision a shorter fuse. Wakko hadn't gotten it lit, but the fuse did shrink to about two feet.

Even with the phone ringing nonstop, Yakko had thought about calling Evelyn. The girl had given him her number and she did seem interested in him, despite Wakko and his friends interrupting them when things were getting interesting. After much pondering, he decided to wait until the next day. The premiere would be out of the way, hopefully there would be a good review in the paper…blushing to himself, he thought again that it would be better to wait.

Picking up the tray and turning, he noticed Wakko was still on the phone with Buster. Again. How much could an eight and nine year old have to say to each other?

"Wakko, hurry up - he's already said he wished you good luck! If you stay on the phone any longer you'll both miss the show!"

"All right already – I'm getting off! Jeeze..."

Yakko heard him start talking again and shook his head, hoping whatever crazy conversation they were having would end before the show started. Looking at the clock, Wakko had about five minutes.

He was proud of his brother though; while he had been…unavailable…Wakko had stepped up to the plate and protected Dot. Not that he hadn't done it before, but Yakko always got a strange sense of satisfaction - not to mention a sense of relief - that if for some reason he wasn't around there was another set of eyes watching over his baby sister.

Luckily his brother and all his rowdy friends had managed to get rid of the Disney bullies without having to resort to an actual fight. That might have gotten themselves banned from future functions.

Unfortunately Gosalyn's big mouth had again gotten Dot interested in why they were being called thieves. He had managed to distract Dot again, but he could tell that she wasn't going to be distracted long. She'd be asking again; at some point he was going to have to start explaining some of it to her.

His younger brother had also requested an additional class; ASL. Yakko had been surprised, mostly because he couldn't see Wakko wanting any additional classes unless it involved music. But he was apparently interested in learning sign language. It wasn't a bad idea; the newest member to the Warner Lot Goof Troop communicated using it, and all the boys knew it. Wakko said he had a problem with the other boys translating for him, mostly because he was worried what they would say. Thinking of the other three pranksters, Yakko had to agree.

He would speak to someone this week about finding a tutor for it. Hell, he might take it himself. Dot was interested as well, mostly because she had liked the charming coyote and thought the hand movements looked neat. He had nodded; it wouldn't be a bad skill to have and who knew? Either she or himself could run into a deaf person at any time as easily as Wakko had.

Seeing Wakko absently rubbing his upper right arm, Yakko frowned. That was his fault; for the first time since doing the injections he had hit a muscle. Last night when they had returned to the tower from the function, he had carried Dot up the ladder since she had fallen asleep while he was still out on the dance floor with her. Wakko, groggy but still awake had been able to get up the ladder and managed to make it to the couch before collapsing into an exhausted slumber.

Yakko had checked his glucose levels and finding them so out of whack - no doubt from the sugary punch the younger children had seemed to find so tasty - that he had to give him an injection. He had given Wakko injections when he was asleep before, and thinking this would be no different had proceeded to push the needle into his arm. Unfortunately Wakko had jerked in his sleep and startled Yakko, making him push the needle in farther than intended.

Wakko had yelped, probably equal parts surprise and pain. Yakko had bruised his arm; not badly, but he still felt terrible. He knew that it did happen; according to Slappy and every single piece of literature he had found on the subject, it was inevitable that at least one time you were bound to go too deep and hit a muscle.

It was like hitting one of the blink vessels; it occasionally happened it just shouldn't happen often. He still felt terrible about it though; with all Wakko had been through, he shouldn't have to worry about bad needle shots.

Again, being too hard on himself, but he really should know better. At least Wakko hadn't been too alarmed; after his initial shock, he had sat in Yakko's lap for a few minutes while he had apologized profusely. Wakko was a very forgiving child; after receiving some cuddling and sympathy, he said he was fine, hopped off Yakko's lap, and ran to bed, the incident pushed from his mind.

He better do the same; he could hear popcorn and pieces of candy hitting the floor behind him.

He made his way into the living room, the items so precariously balanced and swaying that he was certain he was going to be wearing a bowl of popcorn before he got to the couch. He tried going slower, which helped only marginally.

When he finally reached the couch, he looked behind him and saw a trail of popcorn coming from the kitchen counter all the way to where he stood. Lovely, something else for him to clean up.

He shrugged; maybe Dot would do it. She and Wakko had bugged him so much for a raise in their allowances that he had assigned them chores. Nothing complex, but he had said if they actually contributed to helping with some of the usual household chores he'd raise it some. It seemed a fair trade-off. Both of them had complained that they already had too much to do with learning lines, shooting episodes and the pile of work their tutors sent them home with.

He had finally pointed out that he had the same things going on, plus when he came to the tower he still had to clean, do laundry, pay bills, cook, and make sure everyone did their work and learned their lines, not to mention any other crises that came up. After thinking about that for five minutes, both his siblings agreed.

Dot had to pick up her own room and at least help pick up anything on the main rooms' floors. Wakko helped with the dishes and took out any trash. Originally he was supposed to vacuum, but he tended to vacuum anything he came across.

When he got part of the sofa cushion stuck in the vacuum and it took Yakko thirty minutes to get it out, he had decided to change Wakko's chore to taking out the trash. It was a lot less work for him.

He wasn't sure what they were asking for a raise in their allowance for; they hardly had to spend their money. Anytime they were out, if they wanted something and if it was in their means he always bought it for them. He knew he shouldn't do it all the time; he was supposed to be attempting to show them the value of a dollar and managing money and all the other things that he had to learn on his own, but he rarely was ever able to deny them. If he kept it up, he'd probably end up raising two spoiled brats.

The only time Dot was denied was when she wanted to buy a pony and wouldn't take no for an answer. She changed her mind real quick when he said fine, he would buy it and it would sleep in her room with her. After thinking about it for almost forty-five seconds, she decided she agreed with him; horses don't make good roommates.

They weren't the best housekeepers in the world, but the tower managed to stay relatively clean. After the roach motel of an apartment, then having nowhere to live for so long, he was determined to at least keep the tower in good shape. The studio was nice enough to give it to them, the least he could do was try to keep it in decent shape.

Wakko slammed the phone down in the kitchen and darted out into the living room. He leaped over the back of the couch, landing beside Dot with enough force he bounced her in the air.

Balancing the tray in one hand Yakko began doling out bowls of popcorn and drinks to his nervous but excited siblings, perched on the couch watching him with anxious eyes. He didn't blame them for being nervous in the least. Tonight was the culmination of everything they had worked for; the documentary didn't count.

Sure, it had given them some exposure and got their names and faces out there, but it wasn't an actual episode of their series. It didn't show any acting or singing ability. It didn't show off the skills of the writers, or the efforts of the costuming people, or the patience of the director trying to control and direct three children.

He was more nervous than they were; he knew he'd be up early tomorrow, well before them to go to the newspaper box on the lot for a copy of 'The Animator' to check the reviews section. If the reviews were positive, not only would he be the most relieved toon on the planet, he could show them the reviews and build up their self-esteem which had been wavering the entire day. If the reviews were negative he would do his best to shield them from most of the negativity and hope that subsequent episodes were viewed more highly.

They were also not the only show to be premiering; Disney's newest series was also being given a trial run tonight. He was surprised Disney was premiering it now; 'Bonkers' wasn't scheduled to go national until November. Over four months early; the norm for a ToonTown premiere was two months before the series went national. Disney had really been promoting it; they must have thought they had a surefire hit on their hands.

That made him a bit nervous; they were premiering at eight to be followed by Bonkers at eight-thirty. Hopefully their series would be looked upon favorably; Disney had a proven track record with their television series. Sometimes series that premeired at the same time as a Disney series got overshadowed.

Treats handed out he sat on the couch and felt Wakko snuggling up beside him on his right. Pleased, he put his arm around his little brother, pulling him in closer; this happened less frequently than it used to.

Dot, already in her lavender 'Little Mermaid' pajamas crawled into his lap, almost upsetting his bowl of popcorn. Remote in hand, he saw the screen go black and hit record right before the Warner Brothers shield appeared on screen, Bugs decked out in a tuxedo and munching on a carrot.

As the three of them burst out of the tower door to sing the opening, he heard both Wakko and Dot start cheering, his own voice chiming in. They really did look and sound good. Not only them, everyone; the entire opener flowed like a well oiled machine; the singing totally on key, all dances and movements tight, everyone looked their best.

Lorelei, Umlatt; they all looked great. Even they looked great, though Yakko, upon viewing the episode, noticed that he kept his eyes closed a lot when he was singing "Let the Anvils Ring". What was that all about? He'd have to watch that in the future.

Critiquing his performance would be a real downer for the evening, and since he still had the lines memorized, he could talk with the show if he chose to. Since he didn't choose to, he instead studied the three of them on the screen, looking at each of them in turn.

They looked so young. He knew that subsequent episodes would look slightly different; already he had to have his pants lengthened due to a small growth spurt. A costumer had remarked that Dot's skirt was getting a little short and she would need to be resized in the very near future as would Wakko's sweater.

As the show rolled to commercial break, he took a good look at his siblings. Both were now healthy looking: fur shiny, eyes bright, ears perky, neither had a lean appearance any longer, but instead had a nice rounded look from being able to eat regularly, sleep normal hours, not constantly being on the run or looking over their shoulders. They had all grown so much from last June when they had been on the street.

Wakko's denim jacket which had seen so much use and abuse the last two odd years since he had received it from the wise-assed raccoon was starting to get tight on him. When Dane had thrown it at him that night on the bus when they were on their way to Neverlandia the jacket had been so large on him his hands didn't stick out the armholes. Now the cuffs went up past his wrists, almost going halfway up his forearms; Yakko was surprised that his brother hadn't said anything.

It couldn't be comfortable any longer. Wakko had worn the jacket religiously though; Yakko had a feeling that he wouldn't want to give it up. But he definitely needed a new one. They weren't homeless anymore, there was no reason he should walk around looking like they were.

Dot was getting heavier; not so heavy that he couldn't toss her around or carry her on his shoulders or pull her into his lap when either of them wanted a cuddle, but he could tell there was a weight gain. But again, in a good way; nicely rounded, a hint of the baby fat she should have had long ago around her cheeks. They were never starving, he had seen to that, but the constant running and worrying and stress no doubt had helped with the sunken look that had seemed to hover on their faces. Or maybe he was just remembering incorrectly; no one had ever said they looked skeletal.

"What did ya think Yakko?" Dot asked, eyes wide and with a hint of anxiousness in her voice. "Of this first part?"

Wakko looked up, also wanting his opinion.

"It was exactly what I thought it would be," Yakko said, standing slowly with her in his arms. "In a word...awesome!"

With that, he tossed her in the air, listening to her giggles and shrieks as she came back down and he caught her, spinning her around. Wakko laughed before he jumped on his back, surprising him.

He had noticed that Wakko wanted hugs less and less; he still willingly received or gave them - especially after some traumatic incident - but not as often as a year ago, or two years ago. He also noticed that Wakko was starting to want more independence, more privacy…He just had a fear that Wakko would start to pull away from him.

All unfortunate side effects of Wakko starting to grow up. He had been pleasantly shocked that Wakko had sat in his lap so long last night. He guessed his little brother was in some weird phase - still young enough to want the comfort and reassurance from him, but wanting to be more grown up and not need it.

Luckily, Dot was almost always willing to give or receive a hug unless she was mad at him for some reason, though that was rare. And something didn't even need to have happened; sometimes Dot would come up and want a hug for no reason. The thought that she might one day pull away was a bit depressing for him. Again, no doubt a side effect of her growing older, but still, when and if that day ever came it would be devastating. He sometimes wished she could stay the age she was forever.

Seeing the show come back from commercial, he sat back on the couch, Dot on his lap. He rested his chin on Dot's head as she grabbed a handful of popcorn to start eating and Wakko scrunched back up beside him.

Wondering where the melancholy mood had come from, he focused back on the television, laughing at the 'polka-Dot' running gag and pushing all worries and doubts from his mind.

Feeling Dot nestle her head back against his chest, Wakko doing the same thing to his side, he put his arms around both of them, figuring he should enjoy it while he could.

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June 28, 1993

YOU'LL LAUGH 'TIL YOU COLLAPSE

The fourth line of the opening theme says it all.

After the success of 'Tiny Toon Adventures', Stephen Spielberg's first successful venture with Warner Brothers Studios, they have again decided to team up to bring us even more laugh out loud moments. And again, just like with their first hit, success was seen before the commercial break.

Folk of ToonTown, it's indeed time for Animaniacs.

Just as he did for 'Tiny Toon's', Mr. Spielberg relied heavily on newcomers, handpicking all the leads himself so he could not only foresee his visions coming to life, but also giving us a look at fresh faces instead of forcing the same insipid cardboard cutouts on us...something a certain rival studio should take into consideration.
Please see review of 'Bonkers' on following page.

I surmised from the amount of buzzing I heard around town that most toons watched the two-part special 'Mayhem: The Making of Animaniacs' back in late May. But a 'making of' documentary can be a far cry from an actual episode.

The hosts and main stars of 'Animaniacs' are three newcomers; The Warner siblings. At first this writer thought that it was a cute ploy, giving the children stage names with their studio's name. However readers, it's not a ploy – Yakko Warner, Wakko Warner, and Dot Warner really are these children's names. And they themselves are as unique as their monikers.

Sharp, charming, glib; Yakko Warner is the oldest and de facto leader of the group. Despite his young age and lack of acting background, Yakko, with his strong clear voice and easy manner was able to carry the lead in this lavish premiere episode easily. It's no wonder that star of stage and screen, Bugs Bunny himself, handpicked Yakko as his third student. Indeed, if the legendarily Mr. Bunny is going to take on an additional protégé, it should be a young man with as much potential as Yakko Warner has displayed.

Both younger siblings, while having less dialogue and screen time, work well with their older brother. While very young, both have already begun to display talents in dance, acting and music, and I think we can expect as great of things out of them as we can of their older brother as time goes by. I hope episodes screened in the near future will give them additional screen time, along with the very large cast of other colorful characters that were referenced in the theme song.

Having an insatiable appetite and a blissfully unaware demeanor reminiscent of Harpo Marx; this would be two of the many ways that could be used to describe the middle sibling, Wakko Warner. Full of boyish enthusiasm, possessing a charming Scouse accent and with his tongue frequently lolling out of the side of his mouth, he was as refreshing a change as his older brother.

Witty and cute to boot, Dot Warner is the youngest of the trio and the only sister. Aggressively adorable, she managed to almost steal the scenes she was in with no effort on her part. Her high spirits and pixie-like charm tell me this is a girl to watch.

The premise of the episode entitled 'King Yakko' is part parody of the musicals of yore, with a heavy influence of 'Duck Soup' thrown in. This is not surprising; the very first auditions of the Warner's were scenes from 'Marx Brothers' – including 'Duck Soup'.

Lavish set design and costumes, talented actors in the supporting parts, a solid script and a superb guest star playing the ineptly evil King Umlatt helped round out this episode.

None of them may have 'bothered to rehearse', but the Warner Siblings had this reviewer in stitches regardless of their lack of preparation. Sly one liners and a few references to some slightly adult humor from Yakko will keep the adults entertained, while the singing, dancing and jokes from all three will keep the kids laughing. There are worse ways to spend a Sunday night.

Warner Brothers – and Warner Sister – welcome to the big time.

Congratulations Mr. Spielberg; you've done it again.

Finished reading the article to them, Yakko looked first at Wakko to his right, then Dot to his left before placing the paper down on the kitchen table. Both of his siblings looked at him, stunned looks on their faces, breakfast sitting in front of them, forgotten.

He hadn't slept much last night, worried about how the show would be received. He wasn't even sure if the review would appear in 'The Animator' today; the reviewer must have watched the show then rushed it straight to press to be able to make this morning's edition. His gamble of going to get the paper at five this morning had paid off; it had been there and he had been able to read a perfect review to his siblings. Later of course he would be Fritzing a pair of scissors and cutting the review out for his scrapbook.

"The reviewer gave us five out of five mallets," Wakko said calmly while looking at the article, still gripping his spoon.

Yakko nodded. The mallets in the toon papers were the equivalent of the human paper's stars. Five mallets was the highest they could go. They had impressed the hell out of the reviewer.

He turned the page to the review for Bonkers. Quickly skimming the article, he saw while they had impressed the reviewer, the orange bobcat had not. The kindest word in the review was 'annoying'.

"Bonkers didn't get any mallets," he commented to his siblings. "In fact, the reviewer claims that Disney owes him a mallet for having sat through it."

"So…they liked it? Us I mean?" Dot asked, looking at him for confirmation.

Yakko nodded, still looking at the article. "The article speaks for itself sister sibling; they liked us."

"Five out of five mallets; they really liked us," Wakko added.

Yakko nodded again, quickly taking a bite of his muffin and trying not to have too much of a smug look on his face.

"I would think so sib."

Wakko and Dot looked at each other, smiles quickly forming on their faces before they turned back to him.

The calm before the storm…

Yakko braced. If he knew his siblings they would-

Bedlam broke out in the kitchen; both Wakko and Dot threw themselves at him, knocking him out of the chair and onto the floor as they landed on top of him in a shrieking heap.

"They loved us!" Dot screamed. "We're gonna be huge!"

"Faboo!" Wakko screamed, almost as loudly. "We did it!"

"Yeah we did!" He exclaimed, jumping to his feet with one sibling under each arm and spinning around, all three of them laughing and screaming before collapsing back on the floor, Wakko's foot hitting the table and splashing milk, juice and coffee all over the kitchen.

Yakko wasn't too worried about that. They were going to be late on set anyway; they'd have time to clean it up.

They had done it. It was only one episode of course; the others could be viewed very poorly, but they were well on their way.

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July 21, 1993

My head's never gonna stop pounding…

"Wakko you're pathetic!"

"I'm pathetic! May I remind you you're the one fighting with me you brat!"

"Guys, come on; I've got to read-"

Yakko rubbed the bridge of his nose as both his siblings ignored his request to calm down and stop fighting. It wasn't a big shocker, they had been ignoring his requests, pleas and threats all week, why should they listen now?

And it had been an awful week, between their fighting, the script they were filming, Scratchansniff still insisting on meeting with them weekly despite having determined that other than usual childish shenanigans there was nothing really wrong with any of them, and Evelyn had decided that she had enough of him.

To be honest, he hadn't been aware they were an 'item'. They had talked several times since the function. She had constantly wanted to go out to malls or dinner or whatever struck her fancy at the time, and seemed unable to grasp that when he could get his schedule matched with one of the chaperones he would be delighted to actually take her somewhere. Preferably to dinner and a movie where they could engage in what they had started at the dance. She disliked the idea of having a chaperone and that he couldn't just up and leave, asking what use was it being a star if he couldn't do what he wanted?

Just like with them being an item, he wasn't aware he was a star. Three of their shorts had been shown in ToonTown now, and all three had been well received. A few fan letters had trickled into the studio as well, all stating how much they liked the show and wishing them the best of luck. Bugs had suggested answering them, at least some of them; it kept the fans happy. And these were all fans from ToonTown; keeping on their good side could be helpful to their career. Even if a show was cancelled, if the demand was high enough, several shows had continued for a season or two inside ToonTown.

Two days ago she had called and informed him that she couldn't talk to him anymore. She needed someone who would be there for her. After telling him she hoped his career went well because it was obviously more important than she was, she had hung up the phone in his astonished ear.

Well, he had determined early on she wasn't a smart girl. It was probably nice to be so free of the ravages of intelligence.

But whether he was aware they were an item or not, he had apparently been 'dumped'. He rolled that thought around in his head for a minute. Dumped. Tossed aside like an old Slurpee cup. He frowned to himself; it didn't hurt like he thought it would have, but then again he hadn't exactly been rejected. It was hard to be rejected when he hadn't made a single advance.

He had to agree with Wakko sometimes; girls were weird.

Thinking of his brother, he looked over at him. Both him and Dot were still yelling at each other about who the hell knew what, and were apparently determined to not only be as loud as possible, they also seemed hell bent on dragging him into their fight.

"But she said I-"

"Yakko he's-"

He watched both of them jump back into each other's faces, noses flattened against each other and sighed as the yelling and accusations started anew. He was almost curious what it was about this time.

Yesterday it was about what to have for dinner. Before that it was about them still having to see Dr. Scratchansniff; Dot resented Wakko saying it was all her fault they had to keep going back, even though the doctor had determined that there really wasn't much wrong with Dot besides being slightly spoiled.

Wakko resented the fact that Dr. Scratchansniff made them keep coming back. He then resented Yakko for grounding him for two days for calling the doctor 'a damned squinty-eyed kraut packer'. Yakko found the doctor trying at times as well, but he could usually express his displeasure without resorting to ethnic slurs and foul name calling.

At least Wakko had the decency to apologize to Scratchy on his own, though whether that was because he was trying to get back on Yakko's good side or because he actually felt bad he wasn't sure. He hoped it was the latter, which would mean that some of the moral core Yakko had been trying to pound into his head over the years had actually permeated his thick skull and had stuck.

Then it was about Wakko showing Dot his spit bubble too many times. Dot got him back for that though; she reached out and popped it, splattering him with the bubble. He hadn't done it to her since.

Figures; he had two tests he really wanted to study for and these two wanted to argue.

Just five minutes…

"Guys I've got to study this. Go watch TV OK?"

That could keep them quiet. If they heard the suggestion.

As the yelling escalated, he was pretty sure they hadn't. He tried again before deciding he was going to have to be louder than them, wondering if yelling would be enough or if he'd need to pull out the bullhorn.

Standing up, he slammed his hands on the table and yelled, "Guys knock it off!"

They heard that; both turned to gaze at him wide-eyed. At least he didn't need the bullhorn; he didn't feel like Fritzing one. The short they were not even half done filming, 'H.M.S. Yakko', required a lot of concentration and Fritzing of different objects. Bugs had been wearing him out for the last week and a half trying to make sure he could do most of the Fritzing and stunts; some things were still beyond his grasp though.

Luckily they had lots of extra time to film this one because it wasn't going well. He had to sing a song about being a toon. The guy playing Captain Mel was a real jerk. Wakko was having problems with what he had to Fritz. Dot was almost killed when she slipped on a wet spot on the ship's deck and almost plunged off the side when they had been rehearsing the final segment of the short. Luckily she hadn't been annoyed with him for grabbing her by the tail to catch her. It hurt, but it did beat the alternative. He couldn't wait for the short to wrap filming; on the bright side though at least it wasn't a full half-hour short to be filmed. He almost shuddered at that thought; they'd be there until Christmas if it was.

Glaring at both of them, he said, "Sibs, look, go watch TV. Go play, go kill each other, go do something but please do it quietly and not in the kitchen."

Wakko whined, "But I want to watch Beavis and Butthead and she-"

"I want to watch Ducktales!" Dot insisted.

In response to both statements all Yakko could think of was 'Why?' but after quickly accessing the situation again, decided that might not be the best thing to say. Dot wanted to watch her friend's show, Wakko just wanted to destroy even more brain cells watching those two giggling idiots. He wondered if an eight-year-old should even be watching that show.

Instead he chose, "Look, Wakko, let her watch Ducktales – it's only an hour block. Dumb and stupid or whatever the show is comes on again later and you-"

Great, now I did it, he thought watching them, this time Dot gloating and Wakko getting mad. Maybe he could buy another TV or trade in a sibling or something. He was tired of playing Solomon to these two.

"Look, figure it out yourselves or no one watches anything, capiece?"

There, that should take care of it.

It didn't; the arguing went louder and he debated throwing them both off the tower. He picked up his books and decided to leave the kitchen to them. He could study in the bedroom; there was even a door there, he could lock them out. It looked like it was going to be the usual 'he said she said' nonsense.

Deciding to give up and let them try sorting it out themselves he said, "Sibs, your referee is leaving. I'm positive you two can work-"

"I'm positive she's a pain in the tail," he griped. "There, I said it and I don't regret it."

"I'm not a pain! You're stupid Wakko – you can't even come up with a decent insult!"

Oh Dot, that's only because I'm in hearing distance and he wouldn't dare use some of the words I know he knows.

"Yeah, boo hoo. Go complain to Yakko you tattletale."

Yakko rubbed the bridge of his nose as he packed up his books and exited the kitchen, hoping to get to the bedroom and lock the door before she followed him to lay out the woes of dealing with her brother to him.

"I may be a snot, but at least I'm not stupid!"

"I'm not stupid you pain in the-"

"Wakko…" Yakko called warningly. He was getting dangerously close to crossing the line.

Dot stomped her foot and yelled, "You're so stupid even your body can't do what it's supposed to - I don't have to inject insulin! I hate you!"

Yakko stopped in mid-step as her voice rang out in the kitchen and he heard the sound of shattering glass. He spun on his heel and walked back in; Wakko noticed him and gave him a quick look, a mixture of hurt and anger on his face. Yakko noticed a shattered glass on the floor near him. Since Dot was nearest the counter and Wakko was against the wall, he didn't need to be Sam Spade to figure out who threw it.

"Time out. Dot, come on. Now."

Dot spun to look at him, her face going from shock and surprise at what she had done to trepidation to his glare. He watched, annoyed as she then batted her eyes at him.

"Yakko," she said in as cute a voice as possible, "I didn't do anything. Wakko dropped the gl-"

"Hey! She threw the stupid thing at me!"

"Wakko," he said. "Just-"

"Great," he muttered. "I'm gonna get blamed again-"

I don't blame him all the time. Just when I'm sure he did it…which is most of the time.

"Just clean up the glass and go watch TV, OK?" he asked quietly, ignoring both his siblings open-mouthed looks. He couldn't blame them; usually Dot could out-cute her way out of anything, especially with him. Wakko didn't quite have the skills to do that, but he tended to get away with quite a bit.

Yakko was more shocked himself. What Dot said, not to mention lying to him got under his skin. They both knew better.

Indignant, Wakko started to say, "Why do I have to…"

Yakko moved his gaze from Dot briefly to Wakko as he protested and his younger brother wisely trailed off and nodded.

Since Dot hadn't moved, Yakko reached out and grabbed her arm, slamming his books on the table.

"Ow - let go Yakko! I-"

"Quiet Dot. Let's go, we need to talk."

Dot kicked at him while screaming and protesting being removed from the kitchen. Annoyed, he gave her a quick smack on her rear end and she went silent, looking at him in astonishment as he led her out of the kitchen.

She wailed, "Yakko, he said-"

"He didn't say anything as bad as you did!" Yakko snapped at her while leading her across the living room. "I can't believe you said that! And you threw a glass at him - what's wrong with you? Did you lose your mind?"

He opened the door to her bedroom while she stammered apologies at him.

"I'm not the one you should be apologizing to," he said while opening her door. "That was terrible Dot! How could you?"

Doing her best adorable pout, she said, "I didn't say anything bad, Wakko said-"

I can only imagine, but he still didn't say anything that bad. Hell, he couldn't.

"I don't care," he said, cutting her off. "I heard what you said. You hate him? He's stupid because he's got an illness? What's wrong with you? I taught you better than that - there's plenty of other things you could have responded with!"

Still pouting, she curled her legs under her and smoothed out her skirt. "You're always on his side, no matter what he says! He said I'm a brat and a snot and you're not yelling at him."

"I don't know about snot, but right now you're acting like a brat. Throwing a tantrum, yelling, saying what you said? And lying to me wasn't smart either."

She didn't seem to be getting what he was saying. In fact, she was doing a look reminiscent of Wakko at that age; the stubborn defiant look.

"You always think I'm lying!" she sulked. "You always take his side and you never-"

Always? I've never said that.

Annoyed, he bent down so his nose was almost touching hers. The look on his face must have been chilling because she cringed back, lowering her head but still peeking at him.

She's cute, but not cute enough to get out of this.

"Is that right? If you'll think back to five minutes ago Dorothy you'll remember that I said you could watch your show and he could wait! Does that sound like I'm taking his side? How about last night when you wanted pizza and he wanted burgers? We had the pizza didn't we?"

Still glaring at her, he stood up and added, "I try really hard to not show favoritism you know! Do you have any idea how hard that is, trying to keep you both happy and not constantly fighting? You two screaming at each other or saying you hate each other - it makes me think I'm not doing my job well."

He watched her face fall, the pout disappearing and her eyes filling with tears.

Cowing under his glare, she sniffed out, "Yakko I'm sorry! I didn't mean to-"

"Right now I don't want to hear it," he said, trying to keep his tone level. "Picking on a handicap is a cheap shot Dorothy; you're better than that. What's next - you want to go find a kid with leukemia? Maybe you could pull of their wig, laugh because their bald-"

"No!" she wailed over his lecture. "I'm sorry, really, I didn't mean it! I don't hate him-"

Looking at her, he had a feeling she probably was sorry. Dot wasn't a cruel girl; the doctor was right when he said she was a little spoiled but Yakko took full responsibility for that. After their rough start in life he found himself unable to say no to most requests from either of them. But especially her.

She wasn't malicious, but she was young. At five and a half he knew he couldn't expect her to have full control of her emotions; Wakko certainly didn't at that age. However, he hadn't let Wakko get away with tantrums or lying and he wasn't going to ignore it and let her get away with it either.

"And you lied to me," he continued. "You know better!"

That bugged him as much as anything. Dot really hadn't tried lying to him about anything yet; he supposed it was about time she tried it. Wakko had tried lying to him a little earlier than she did, and unless she wanted a mouthful of soap she'd better acknowledge it and apologize.

"I know," she whimpered, wiping her eyes. "I'm sorry."

Well, she missed the soap by inches. Who am I kidding - I wouldn't do it to her anyway...

Crossing his arms, he looked down at her. "You should be; you should be totally ashamed of yourself. I thought I had been doing a better job raising you; guess I was wrong."

Turning he started to leave the room, hearing her sobbing out that she was sorry and it wasn't his fault and she was just being bad. Much like Wakko, expressing disappointment in them, while a little mean was usually an effective means of disciplining them.

"It'd be bad enough if you said something like that to a stranger; to say it to your own brother is worse. Stay in here until I tell you to come out."

Hearing her burst into fresh cries, he tried to ignore them and walked out the door, closing it behind him. Then he leaned his forehead on the door for a second, listening to her quiet crying and sniffing. Not wanting to weaken too quickly, he moved away from the door. He'd go back in around half an hour and talk to her. In the meantime he could attempt to get some of his neglected studying done; while his thoughts may be distracted at least it was quiet for the moment.

Again though his thoughts drifted to this latest situation. He rarely had to punish Dot and it hurt him that he had to. Her hurtful words still rang in his ears, about him favoring Wakko or not listening to her or blaming her. He racked his brain, trying to review different situations in his mind to see if maybe he acted improperly at some point and inadvertently wronged her. He couldn't remember any situations that would give her that impression. He would talk to her in awhile about it, but hopefully it was only her trying to push her limits to see how far she could push him before he actually reacted.

He hoped. It could be that he had done a worse job than he thought trying to raise them. He'd never pick on someone with a handicap or illness; he was positive Wakko never would either. He had always thought Dot wouldn't as well. Not for the first time he had to wonder if he may have done them an injustice taking them from the home.

Wakko got into trouble more often but rarely argued about whatever punishment he got. When one time Yakko had asked him why he had such a laid back attitude about his recent grounding, he had simply shrugged and stated it came with the territory. According to Wakko it was a hazard of being a kid.

Passing through the living room he glanced over toward the television, the annoying grating sounds of 'Beavis and Butthead' coming at him quietly. He then heard the voice of one of the innumerable Disney Ducks, an ad for beans, then a car commercial. He sighed and walked toward the couch; he'd probably better talk to Wakko too. He was never going to get his studying done.

Sometimes it was hard being the oldest; sometimes it just really sucked.

Reaching the couch, he saw Wakko, knees pulled up to his chest staring at the television, remote in hand and idly flicking through the channels. Yakko sat beside him as he continued searching.

"Thought you wanted to watch the two fools."

Wakko shrugged and muttered, "Seen it."

Yakko watched his younger brother for a moment. He looked upset and serious, a look that didn't appear often on his face.

Frowning, Yakko put an arm around his shoulder and said, "Look, Wak, she didn't mean what she said."

"Yeah, whatever."

"Wakko, listen to me. What she said was awful; I've told her that. She shouldn't have said any of that to you."

Wakko didn't say anything and didn't look at him, but nodded.

"I'll make sure she apologizes-"

"She doesn't need to," he said. "It doesn't count if you're made to do it."

I'll be damned. He actually paid attention to something I said.

"I probably won't need to. She's really sorry-"

"She should be."

"Look Wakko, she didn't think about what she said, she was just mad-"

"For no reason."

He's argumentative.

"Wakko, somehow I doubt you were blameless in this either." Seeing Wakko go to open his mouth again with another protest he added, "I'm not going to get into it. But she's sorry. Look Wakko, every now and then you've said stuff you didn't mean right?"

"Yeah."

"OK…Just keep that in mind. You were five once too." Snickering he added, "You still do it now sometimes."

"Not always," he retorted while wrinkling his nose. "Like when I said Evelyn's seen more traffic than the Santa Ana Freeway I meant it."

Like much of what Wakko says, it was a little crude but if nothing else, his little brother was always supportive. While Yakko had been a little hurt but a long way from shattered, Wakko had seemed to take it as a personal insult and had raged about her for quite awhile, Dot chiming in when she understood what had happened.

"I appreciate the analogy and show of support Wakko," Yakko said laughing and shaking his head. At least Wakko was choosing to allude to his thoughts about Evelyn's prior activity instead of coming out and using something slightly more…inappropriate. "I'm going to try to go get the studying I've been trying to do for the last two hours done. Just stay quiet OK?"

At his nod Yakko stood and went into the kitchen, determined to get a few hours of studying in. Sitting down at the table he grabbed his book, 'Enlargement Theories: The How's and Why's of Your Hammerspace'. Bugs already said he could expect a test on it 'very soon'. 'Very soon' was Bunny speak for 'next time I see you.

Opening the book to where he had originally been reading, he heard a sound and cocked an ear up; Dot's door.

Annoyed, he stood, wondering why Dot was getting so stubborn all of a sudden. He thought Wakko was the most stubborn person he'd ever met and even he wouldn't dare leave his room after being told to stay put. Not with the mood Yakko had been in. Dot was usually obedient; maybe not obedient, but didn't deliberately go out of the way to break simple rules or intentionally make him mad.

Getting to the doorway he stopped, hearing talking.

If she came out to argue more…

Running a hand through his hair, he started to stomp out into the living room with the intention of dragging her back to her room when he started listening to what she was saying. Stopping again, he looked around the doorframe; Wakko was standing beside the couch glaring at her, arms crossed and a sulky look on his face. Dot was still half crying in front of him

"-but I'm not supposed to come out but I wanted to tell you that I don't hate you and I'm really sorry. And I didn't mean to throw a glass at you!"

After a pause, Yakko heard Wakko say 'I know' and felt relieved. He might have been mad but Wakko was a very forgiving child; he should have known Wakko would instantly excuse her.

And Dot had apologized on her own without any prodding on his part. She wasn't supposed to leave her room, but he was willing to overlook that minor technicality.

He leaned on the door jam and continued to watch them make up. Wakko finally rolled his eyes and hugged his sobbing sister before they both sat on the couch, flipping the channel to 'Ducktales'.

Maybe he was being too dramatic; maybe he was doing a decent job after all.

XXXXXXXXXX

July 31, 1993

This isn't good. What the hell happened? How did they find out?

Wakko wiggled under Yakko's arm to stare in horror at the newspaper article gripped tightly in Yakko's hand. They were in big trouble, really big. He was glad Buster was grounded again though; if he wasn't, Wakko would have been over at his house this weekend and not here with Yakko and Dot. Not that they needed him here exactly, but with this sort of article being written about them, he wanted to be near his family.

Yakko hadn't said much after reading it out loud to both him and Dot. And he knew from past experience that when Yakko wasn't talking, things were bad and probably going to get worse.

Exchanging a look with Dot who was sitting on Yakko's left leg, Wakko decided to read the article again. He had missed part of it; when Yakko had been reading it out loud, his mind had been spinning. He had been surprised that Yakko had an issue of 'Tasty Toon Gossip'; he had always said it was trashy journalism, full of half truths and uninvestigated facts. If Bugs hadn't called Yakko so early it might have been tomorrow or Monday before they had found out about this. Not that it would matter.

ANIMANIACS or KLEPTOMANIACS?

By Jeremy Sovereign

Recently a new craze has been sweeping ToonTown, namely Ani-mania. Yakko, Wakko and Dot Warner, stars of Warner Brother's newest series 'Animaniacs', seemed like a new and fresh addition to the studio's large cast of animated stars.

Smart mouthed older brother Yakko, insane middle brother Wakko, and the self-proclaimed cute one (and only sister) Dorothy, sprang from the water tower and onto the small screen on June 28th after a spectacular and informative documentary showing the ins and outs of creating an animated series, especially one with such a large and varied cast of characters, some that have yet to be introduced in the episodes screened so far.

But what we were shown, is this the truth? After some serious investigating and several interviews with witnesses and other toons that had the misfortune of having crossed paths with the trio, I can sadly say no. For once Warner Brothers, a studio we thought we could always trust to tell us the truth, no matter how unpleasant it may be, either dropped the ball or intentionally hid facts about their newest sensations and rather tried to hide even basic information from their loyal viewers.

Yes parents and fans, you read the headline right. The stars of 'Animaniacs' are indeed kleptomaniacs, with a long and sordid career behind them.

The three Warners were born and raised in ToonTown, Plympton District. The children's mother was a down on her luck singer who managed to overdose on Twink, a recreational drug popular in the four ghettos of ToonTown. Their father is currently serving a sentence at Panic Penitentiary for various charges, including failure to appear, assault on a police officer, robbery, and several parole violations. With good behavior, he is scheduled for release sometime in 1997 or 1998.

On December 20, 1990, the Warner siblings were picked up in ToonTown, Wishing Star District for theft; pick pocketing to be exact. And while these bold children did pick the pockets of any and all they came into contact with, they were finally apprehended when they tried to pull some of their skills on Captain Horatio Hook. Captain Hook, innocently minding his own business and finishing some Christmas shopping was almost relieved of his own valuables and if not for the sharp eyes of his longtime lackey Smee would surely not have had a happy holiday.

Upon their arrest, the Warner siblings were placed in protective custody pending a hearing in Junior Toon Court System. Upon finding that their father was not a fit guardian, the Court permanently took custody of the three miscreants and sent them to the Brutus-Nero Home for Children in Foulfellow District.

While there, efforts were taken to keep the three siblings together and rehabilitate them. While there, it was determined that the boys and girls should be separated and placed in separate housing, and with great regret Dorothy was placed away from her brothers in a house located within the next district.

After teaming up with another troubled child in the home, the Warner Brothers ran wild, assaulting several TIS employees (see interview with Clayton O'Leaginous, Director of Services, page 8), freeing their younger sister before disappearing within several of the ghettos located within ToonTown.

While efforts were made to contain the children TIS was unable to apprehend the siblings. Witnesses state that they seemed to be under the control of the oldest brother. And while they may have stayed under wraps, only being spotted occasionally, they were still hard at work robbing the populace of their belongings.

From additional investigation, it has been determined that at some point in early 1992, the siblings had enough of ToonTown and decided to leave, heading instead to Los Angeles. While TIS continued to search for the children, they managed to stay one step ahead of the hunters and avoid capture.

I was able to get an exclusive interview with an eye-witness to their thievery at the 22nd Annual Toon Convention held in Griffith Park. While there, they apparently attacked and robbed a fellow Warner Brother's Star, Yosemite Sam. While other toons were scared and confused, the daring Darkwing Duck pursued them mercilessly through the city.

While he was unable to capture them due to the trio running onto Warner Brothers Studio property, he was able to give a complete and thorough description to their studio security.

Imagine his surprise when he discovered that these hooligans were not only the studio's newest stars, they have apparently been taken under the wing of some of the studio's best and brightest, including Bugs Bunny, Porky Pig, and Foghorn Leghorn. These three legends all volunteered to tutor the three con-artists, passing down their knowledge to them.

While the oldest child seems to have endeared himself to the studio's stars, the younger two have also managed to fool many people into believing that they are nothing more than the newest addition to the studio's batch of toon heroes.

The middle child is friends with many of the stars of the studios current hit "Tiny Toon Adventures". Meanwhile, the girl has managed to become friends with a few of the girls from Disney Studios.

"Hopefully, the parents of all these children will reconsider who they allow their offspring to associate with, especially the very young children here at Disney, who all have spotless reputations. It would be a shame to see them tarnished," Darkwing was quoted as saying while this reporter was there to interview him regarding his new position as security advisor at Disney Studios and his ongoing freelance work with TTF.

These children, gifted con artists, seemed to have fooled many people. The studio even entered into a guardian ad slavus with the trio, with Steven Spielberg himself one of the many people who had to sign off on the legal document…(story continued on next page)

Wakko didn't bother asking Yakko to turn the page; he'd read enough and Yakko had read it to them. He knew what it said. That the studio should immediately cancel the show and hand them over to TIS to receive their punishment and split them up. That Yakko was a horrible role model and guardian and was basically running his own gang of thieves, curiosity over their 'next heist' and that the three of them would be horrible stars, that little kids would watch their show and think it was OK to be like them.

Wakko glanced at Dot. She was sitting on Yakko's leg, her little finger running along under the lines as she silently mouthed the words to herself, occasionally stumbling over the larger words.

Looking up at Yakko he felt even more worried. More worried than when he woke up in the hospital or when he had grabbed Sam's wallet and his eyes had met the man's.

Yakko's eyes were narrowed as he stared at the article, occasionally glancing down at Dot. Wakko felt himself chewing on his lip and made an effort to stop.

"Jesus, they make us sound like hardened criminals, like we're going to rob the studio blind. I feel like pure evil," Yakko muttered.

Wakko barely heard him. Looking at Yakko he tried to keep his breathing steady before he went into full panic mode. Why had this guy Jeremy Sovereign lied about them? And Darkwing, he lied too - the duck hadn't seen him take the wallet - he wasn't even there when he did it! And why didn't Sam say something - he got his wallet back - Wakko thought he could sort of include the loud little man in his group of friends. He had never seemed angry when they saw him on the lot, well, not any angrier than normal, but maybe he still was. And Dot wasn't a thief; as far as he knew she'd never taken a stick of gum that didn't belong to her.

Dot had finished reading the article and looked up, her eyes meeting Wakko's briefly before turning back to Yakko's.

"Yakko, I don't understand-"

"That's good Dot, because I don't understand right now either." Crumbling the paper, he added, "I knew the guy was an asshole but even I didn't think he'd stoop this low. Was he that pissed about getting outsmarted by a few kids that he's willing to ruin our careers?"

Wakko raised his eyebrows in surprise - if he had said that Yakko would have yelled at him. Yakko never swore, not even the little ones like damn; he was really mad. The only thing that relieved him at the moment was that Yakko's anger wasn't directed at him.

But the whole thing with Darkwing was his fault though. Yakko might get mad at him for that. Maybe if he pointed out that it had worked out and they got their jobs with the studio because of it he wouldn't be mad. Wakko started chewing on his lip again.

"Thieves. You were both thieves," Dot muttered while looking from them to the article.

She slipped off Yakko's lap and went to lean against the doorframe, her back to them. "All this time I thought Dipwing and his snotty daughter were lying, but they weren't-"

Wakko exchanged a panicked glance with Yakko.

Talking gently, Yakko said, "Look, Dot, it wasn't like that. We had-"

"You lied to me." Spinning around, she began speaking, her voice getting louder as she went on. "You said you weren't thieves, Darkwing was lying! And I believed you! I defended you every time-"

"But Dot, he never lied. He never said we weren't thieves. He just always said Darkwing was an asshole," Wakko felt compelled to point out after seeing Yakko's face. Yakko looked so…devastated. He hadn't wanted Dot to find out ever what they used to do.

"While I may not have always said it like that sib, he's right," Yakko said, shooting him a glance before turning back to Dot, kneeling down so he could look in her face. "Darkwing still doesn't know what he's talking about. Neither does this reporter, King Jeremy the wicked or whatever his name is. We never…I mean we did but not…the article's wrong!"

Great. Yakko's stuttering. We're screwed.

"It's not wrong! I remember being at the home - you attacked someone! Lots of someone's! And you're always talking about not stealing or lying but you do it yourself! You hypo..hipi…hyper…you're both crooks!"

The word's hypocrite you ungrateful little snot.

"We did it for you too you know," Wakko muttered. "He didn't want to-"

"Shut up Wakko you-you cheat!"

Cheat?

Wakko felt his face go hot. He'd never cheated…OK, he grabbed an extra handful of money a few times when they played Monopoly but he'd been certain she hadn't seen him.

"You shut up! I've never cheated-"

"Both of you shut up," Yakko said.

Wakko cut his sentence off. Yakko had never told either of them to shut up. Usually someone was telling him to shut up. Wakko had a feeling that Yakko heard it enough that he didn't like saying it to anyone else.

"This isn't helping; we've got a crisis happening and you two want to throw insults at each other. We've got to stick together, not tear each other apart. Save that for after this is over," Yakko finished.

"Like when the studio throws us out in the streets?" Wakko muttered.

"The studio's not going to do that," Yakko said. "I hope. They knew about most of this," he added, talking quietly to himself. "I was upfront with them when Mr. Spielberg took out the posters and began asking about-"

"Posters?" Dot screeched while flicking her tail tip. "We were on TIS wanted posters? Everyone's seen us! They think I'm some two-bit con girl! No, not even that - they think I'm like you! I don't want to be the sister of a thief!"

Brat. He wasn't the only one - don't blame him for all of it. Couldn't she see what she was doing to Yakko?

Reaching out to her, Yakko said, "Dot! Please just listen-"

Yakko trailed off as with a final glare at both of them Dot ran from the kitchen, slamming her bedroom door seconds later.

Still chewing on his lip, Wakko looked at his older brother, still crouching on the floor. Now though he had his head bent down, his right hand absently rubbing the bridge of his nose while he gazed back toward the bedroom.

Wakko hated being in this situation. Dot was mad at both of them; mostly Yakko really, but he knew he was included in that anger. But Yakko - Yakko looked dejected. Even his ears were hanging low. Wakko hoped he didn't start crying.

Unsure of what to do, he walked the few steps to come up beside Yakko and put his arm around his shoulder. He really wasn't used to trying to be the comforter. To Dot sometimes but she was little and a girl. Give her a hug and she was usually happy. But what was he supposed to do for his older brother?

Figuring a hug was the only thing in his repertoire, he crouched down beside Yakko and put his arms around his waist.

"She didn't mean it," he said. "She's kinda surprised I think-"

"Great deduction there Auguste Dupin - find the Queen's letter yet?"

Wakko looked at him but refrained from frowning more. Yakko was picking on him, but he didn't get the joke. Probably some boring book Yakko read - he read a lot. And it was always stuff Wakko wouldn't read so he usually felt like an idiot.

"Um…yeah. But she didn't mean anything. Sometimes she's like you and just talks a lot. But not as much as you."

You sound like a retard.

Trying to salvage the conversation and cheer Yakko up, he took a breath and added, "But she really likes being known as your sister. If it makes you feel better, I like being your brother-"

"Thanks Wakko for a line so cheesy I just felt my cholesterol level increase twenty points," he snapped. "You've solved everything."

Ouch. Congratulations Wakko, you officially made things worse.

Stung, he winced and muttered, "Sorry; trying to help. I'll leave you alone."

"I-"

Wakko stood up, wanting to get away from Yakko as quickly as possible before he said something to either make it worse or get himself in trouble. There was already enough of that around.

Yakko's rejection of him hurt, but he probably didn't mean it. Usually Yakko didn't snap out at either him or Dot, sort of like he didn't usually swear, so he was really upset. Maybe Yakko would feel better in awhile if he left him alone.

Not looking at Yakko as he muttered something that sounded like 'nice Yakko, smooth', Wakko swiftly went into the living room, debating on leaving the tower. Yakko certainly wouldn't like that. He'd flip if he found out Wakko left the tower without permission.

Wakko thought about it for a second; he didn't want to leave the tower. If Yakko had found the article in a magazine he didn't usually read, it was a sure bet that others had seen the article too. And unlike them, the other readers weren't exactly there; they wouldn't know what the truth was.

Thinking about that, he decided to stay in the tower. Truth be told he was a little embarrassed - while TP and Spielberg knew most of their history, they had been discreet. Wakko didn't even think any of their tutors knew much about what happened before they came to the lot.

He didn't know about the other adults Yakko talked to, but he knew he hadn't mentioned any of it to his friends. He felt himself color slightly; Buster, Max, Plucky - even Elmyra and Babs - he hadn't told any of them anything about any of it. He wondered if they'd be mad. He hoped not. But they probably wouldn't want to hang out with him anymore either. Yakko had said before no one liked a thief or a liar. And he remembered how pissed Buster had been when he found out about Wakko's diabetes. He had a feeling that was minor compared to this. That stupid writer and idiot duck had probably just cost him most, if not all, of his friends.

Well, that wasn't fair. He probably cost himself his friends; he was the one who chose not to tell them about anything that had happened. He hadn't lied when they asked him questions about his family history or what the deal was with Gosalyn at the function but he hadn't been forthcoming with information either. He probably should have; if his friends chose not to talk with him anymore, it was his own fault.

He'd still like to pound Jeremy the writer and Dipshit Duck into the ground with his mallet though. He never got enough opportunity to utilize his mallet and they would both be such deserving targets too.

He chose to look on the bright side. The writer of the article had obviously done really poor research; he hadn't found out about his diabetes or that Yakko got the trots when he drank milk.

He flopped on the couch, pulling his knees up to his chest so he could rest his chin on them. Looking at the clock on their VCR, he saw it was eight-forty-eight in the morning. Nothing good came on that early on Saturday morning; even the old Looney Tunes shorts wouldn't come on until eleven. Max had loaned him a tape he made of 'Ren and Stimpy' cartoons; he could watch that. Or play a video game maybe. But he really didn't feel like getting up; in actuality he didn't feel like watching TV. Sighing, he put his forehead against his knees instead.

"Wak?"

Wakko looked up; Yakko was coming around the side of the couch with a frown on his face.

Great, what's he want? I said I'd leave him alone.

Wakko looked back toward the dark television as Yakko sat down awkwardly beside him. He stiffened when he felt Yakko put his arm around his waist and pull him onto his lap. He rarely sat in Yakko's lap anymore, the spot had mostly been handed over to Dot who stayed glued in it half the time. Besides, he'd probably look like a baby if anyone saw him. He was almost nine…well, he would be in another five months, but close enough. That was way too old to be sitting in anyone's lap, especially his older brother's. That, and Yakko probably preferred holding Dot; if nothing else, she weighed less.

"Look kiddo, I need to apologize about what I said."

Wakko nodded and felt Yakko rest his chin on the top of his head.

"It's OK."

"No it's not OK; I was way out of line in there. You didn't deserve that-"

Yeah I didn't. Still didn't stop you though.

"-and I'm sorry."

Wakko shrugged, happy with the simple but heartfelt apology. Yakko talked a lot, but a lot of times it was just filler surrounding one or two main thoughts. Sometimes he preferred the simple direct approach so he didn't have to cut through a lot of bullcrap to figure out what his brother was saying.

Leaning back into his chest, he had forgotten how comfortable it was sometimes to just sit there with him…or on him. He'd never admit it, but sometimes he missed sitting with Yakko like this. No matter what had happened or what he had done or said, Yakko knew how to fix it. He'd probably be able to fix this too.

"But just so you know, I'm happy you like being my brother," Yakko said, curling his arms tighter around his waist. "Forgive your jerk of a brother?"

You were forgiven as soon as you said it.

Wakko shrugged before saying, "Yeah. You're not a jerk…most of the time."

"Thanks sib, so glad I meet with your approval…most of the time," Yakko muttered, pulling him closer to his chest. "Now I've got to see if Dot's as forgiving as you are-"

"Maybe."

Yakko leaned over to see around the back of the couch, and Wakko braced and clutched at the cushion. Dot was slowly trudging over to them; he had a feeling he'd have to abandon his current position. She looked kinda forlorn, eyes rimmed in red and wiping at her nose while she pouted.

"You coulda told me ya know," she muttered while looking at Yakko. "I deserved to know-"

"I didn't think you were old enough," Yakko said helplessly. "I didn't think any of us were old enough."

"I'm old enough to be called a thief in a magazine article though. Don't you think I can hear it?"

Wakko glanced at her before looking at Yakko. She was right, she probably ought to know some of it, so she would at least know what was crap and what wasn't. Even he wasn't sure on some things. He had gaps in his memory about certain things and had asked Yakko about different memories he had. Yakko always gave him props for remembering what he did, saying he was so young that what he did recall was amazing and showed signs of him having a good memory. But then he would gloss over the answer to whatever he just asked or change the subject entirely.

Wakko didn't get quite as upset about it as Dot though. He figured that sooner or later he'd find out what had happened. Dot took it as a personal insult, like they were trying to keep her out of some great secret. What he remembered wasn't all bad, but most of it wasn't great either.

Finally Yakko sighed, holding his left arm out. Wakko went to move, intending to sit on the couch beside him. Yakko tightened the arm around his waist though and just shifted him to his right leg. Dot crawled up to sit on Yakko's left leg. Pleasantly surprised, Wakko leaned back into Yakko's chest; if he wasn't going to be booted from his perch he may as well get comfortable.

"If you promise to listen and not get mad at us, I'll tell you about the stuff in the article. Some of it."

"Some?" Dot asked, indignant. "Yakko, I want-"

"No Dot. Same deal as always; you ask something I don't think you're old enough for, we wait until you are." He shrugged before saying, "Take it or leave it sib, I'm not in the mood to debate it right now."

"Fine," she huffed. "I think it's a crummy deal though. I'm getting talked about too-"

"And I'll share what I can," he said, cutting her off.

Wakko watched Dot purse her lips before nodding, asking about the theft issues and assaults. Wakko stayed quiet, content to listen. Dot asked good questions and Yakko seemed willing to answer most of what she was shooting out at him. He barely finished answering something or describing a situation before she was firing another one at him.

The only thing he seemed hesitant about was answering questions about Twink, their father and when they had gone to court. Pretty much the only thing that he said about their father was that he was a piano player and pickpocket and had trained both his sons in his unique career because the family needed money. He was kinda of close-lipped on their mother too.

Wakko closed his eyes as he listened to Yakko talk. It was interesting to visit his own memories of different events and situations they had been in from another person's point of view. Some things he remembered; other things he didn't remember at all or had very hazy memories of. He remembered very little of his mother; he sort of remembered that she sang a lot, was klutzy and Daddy used to bring her medicine in a blue bag.

Wakko realized one thing; Yakko had to deal with a lot, not only now but even before they got to the lot. Almost everything he had ever done had been to better their lives in some way. Even if it was something minor like being a reading assistant at a library to get some money to make sure there was some sort of food on the table or taking it upon himself to teach them to read or risking arrest to get back his sister.

Lost in his own thoughts he didn't realize that Yakko had stopped talking and Dot seemed to be out of questions for the moment.

"So all that stuff in the magazine it was true, but it sort of wasn't," Dot mused.

"I'd prefer to say it was a highly edited account of mostly actual facts," Yakko said.

"Other than getting our names correct and the places we were, most of the rest of it was bunk."

"But everything you did, you did it to protect us, or keep us together," Dot argued. "You weren't trying to hurt people and you didn't want to be a robber-"

"I prefer the term pickpocket," Yakko muttered. "Robber makes us sound like a couple of highway men."

"And you sent all the money back," she said while giving a shrug. "I don't see what the problem is."

"We're still sending it back," Wakko mumbled. "Every month we have to sit there and go through a huge pile and write letters-"

"Quiet Wakko, it's one day a month-"

"Can I help?" Dot asked.

Wakko blinked at her. She wanted to sit there and write stupid notes? He shook his head, trying to warn her off. No sense in both of them having to do it. It'd be easier if Yakko would just send the cash back with no note.

Yakko shook his head. "No, you had nothing to do with any of it, you shouldn't have to sit there and-"

"But I did, sort of. You - Wakko too," she added, looking at him before returning her gaze to Yakko, "You both stole all that stuff to keep us fed. I wanna help."

Yakko looked over at Wakko who shrugged. If she wanted to be confined to the table in the kitchen scribbling out notes to people she never met it wasn't any of his business. He doubted Yakko would let him out of doing it because Dot joined, but at least it would be one less letter for him to write and they wouldn't have to sneak around doing it. He was actually happy Dot knew about it, even if she found out by seeing their names dragged through the mud in that stupid magazine.

After a few seconds, Yakko finally nodded. "Fine. I planned on doing a few next weekend. You can sit down with us then."

"Good," Dot said, nodding once to herself in affirmation.

She snuggled into Yakko's chest, bringing her knees up and hitting Wakko in his ribs. He gave her a glare, but she ignored him.

"I didn't mean what I said before to you, about not wanting to be your sister. I'm sorry, I should have listened to you before I said anything."

"It's forgiven sib - I tend not to listen like I should sometimes either," Yakko said, cutting his eyes to Wakko briefly. "Now that the Walton's moment is over, we've got other problems to deal-"

He cut off as the phone rang, startling all of them. Usually everyone was clamoring to reach it first; this time though they stared at each other, no one wanting to answer it.

After the sixth ring, it stopped, only to start again. Then there was a pounding at the tower door, a loud constant thumping.

Yakko sighed and moved both of them off his lap as he stood up.

"Wakko, go get the phone - hopefully it's a wrong number. I'll find out whose trying to knock the door down."

Wakko nodded, exchanging a look with Dot. She looked scared. He understood. With their luck they were probably getting ready to be attacked by reporters and angry studio executives. With their newest bit of publicity the ratings would probably plummet.

Hoping it wasn't Mr. Spielberg saying they had to vacate the lot within an hour, he reached up for the phone and hesitantly said, "Hello?"

"What's up doc?"

Wakko breathed out a sigh of relief. Bugs. Even if they had to leave the property, the rabbit would probably tell them nicely.

"Hi Bugs. How are you?"

"I'm presuming better than you three. Love to chat with you Wak and I will later, but right now, is Yakko there?"

Wakko nodded before he remembered he was on the phone. "He went to get the door."

"That'll be Bernie with the others."

Oh no…others? OK, Buster's in trouble, he won't be with him anyway. Must be other adults, probably want to talk to Yakko.

"He headed over after he saw your newest fan article," Bugs drawled. "And I'm coming over shortly to handle some damage control. At least TTG was nice enough to pull out the real garbage for their weekend edition. Bigger reader base on the weekends, but most everyone is free to come help you guys."

Well, that's nice. Not sure what they think they're going to do, but at least they're trying.

"OK. About that stuff, some of it isn't true, Yakko really-"

"I'm positive about ninety-eight percent isn't true, or is at least a highly fictionalized account of some truth. I'll tell ya right now doc, some of these journalists can be ruthless. We've all had run ins with them over the years. To get a story they'll run roughshod over anyone."

Wakko nodded, believing that. He looked up as Yakko came into the kitchen, Dot curled in his arms. Standing behind him was Mr. Bunny, who caught his eye and gave him his customary lopsided smile and mouthed something that looked like 'the others are out front'.

Wakko frowned. He hoped 'others' meant people he didn't know, but from the look on his face he had a feeling he wasn't that lucky.

Nodding to him and exchanging a small smile with Yakko, he said into the phone, "Bugs, Yakko's here now and he's got Mr. Bunny with him."

"Good. Go see your friends-"

He is here…and with the word 'friends' it means that more than one's here…I don't want to see any of them right now!

Wakko shook his head and said, "No! I don't want to see them right now!" Panicked, he added, "Why are they even here? I don't know what to say and-"

"They're your friends doc. I heard a really great quote a long time ago when I was going through a hard time; misfortune shows those who are not really friends. They're there to see you aren't they? Speaks highly of them…and of you."

Well…maybe.

"OK.," he said hesitantly, wondering what he was going to have to deal with. "Here's Yakko."

"Thanks Wakko - see ya in awhile."

Wakko handed the phone up to Yakko who took it with his free hand and he walked into the living room. Buster, Plucky and Max - he should have known. He wondered how much begging Buster had to do to get out of confinement to come to the lot and talk his father into picking up the others. Buster and Plucky both looked awake but Max looked like he just got out of bed; his white button down shirt was wrinkled and half his hair was sticking out from the side of his head. Unusual; Max was usually dressed impeccably.

The human toon looked up at him as he slowly walked over to the couch and said, "Look guys, here's the fugitive mime now." Glaring at Wakko he added, "You better be happy; I left the house looking like this to come see you."

That's got to say something - Max always looked well put together. The only ten year old that always has his shoes polished and his pants pressed; not that he does it himself.

"Uh, yeah, thanks. What are you three doing here?"

"I was sleeping my day away like the idle rich brat that I am until featherhead here called me and said I had to get the hell up," Max said, pointing to Plucky.

Plucky snapped at him with his beak before saying, "Piss off Monty! I thought you'd want to know."

"I would rather have found out from him," he retorted while pointing toward Wakko.

"So would I," Buster said, walking toward Wakko. "What the hell man? You could have told us. I knew about the guardian ad salvus but I had no idea why you guys were hiding out from TIS!"

Wakko rolled his eyes. "What, tell you that I used to be a homeless pickpocket? Even you can't have expected me to say anything about that!"

"Well, would have been better than lying! You said you didn't know where your father was!" Buster yelled at him. "Anything else you lied about?"

Wakko glared at him, ignoring the now silent Plucky and Max.

"I never lied about it Bunny. Until I read that damned article, I didn't know where he was. The last time I saw him was when I was in a restaurant with Yakko and Dot before I got picked up!" Stalking toward Buster he added loudly, "How do you think that makes me feel? Yakko said he ran when the cops pinched him out on the street, and he never bothered to show up for our Court case! He abandoned us - twice! Between that and living out on the streets - if he did abandon us, do you think I wanted to brag about that?"

Buster had backed up slightly. Wakko felt a little bad; he rarely yelled or got that angry. Glancing behind him, he could see Yakko with the phone still pressed to his ear and Dot clutching at his chest peering at them from the kitchen, Mr. Bunny still behind him. Wakko took a breath and tried to calm down. He wasn't really mad, not at them. Well, maybe a little at Buster - what did the stupid rabbit think he was going to do?

"Look, Wakko," Buster started, then fell silent as he appeared to be thinking carefully about his next words. "Screw it, I'm sorry. You're right - for once. I just thought…I don't know…you didn't trust us."

"You got real trust issues Bunny," he said. "I've never lied about a damn thing to you - well once. When you wore that red and yellow t-shirt with the shorts you didn't look cool like I told you; you sort of looked like Baby Gonzo and-"

He had to cut off as Max and Plucky started laughing and Buster shot him a glare.

"Screw you inky - I admit it, I got a quirk."

"Not your only one either," Max muttered, shooting a smirk to Wakko.

"Piss off mongoloid - you don't trust anyone," Buster snapped back. "Shut up Duck, your laughing isn't helping. Fine, I admit it, I was pissed and being a jerk. You wanna talk about it?"

"Why would he? Half of it's probably bullshit anyway," Plucky said. "It always is."

"Apparently doesn't stop you from reading it though," Wakko said. "Yakko never reads it."

"How'd you find out about it?" Buster asked curiously.

"Bugs called him at seven-thirty this morning to warn him not to get upset. Yakko said he about hung up on Bugs and ran across the lot to the newspaper stand to buy it. He came back and read it. Me and Dot came out and he finally read it out loud."

"Sucky way to find out; early morning phone calls are never good," Buster said. "If you wanna tell us about it…I mean I'm not forcing you or anything, but you know…when you want to I'll listen."

Might help clear the air. I really didn't expect him to be that hurt about it.

Wakko nodded. "If you want to hear it-"

He cut off at the three of them chorusing out things like 'hell yeah' and 'oh boy story time'. Rolling his eyes and gesturing to the couch, he sat down with them and briefly filled them in on what had actually happened, or filled in details that were missing from the article.

When he finished he looked at them, surprised at himself. He hardly talked that much, not at one time.

"So you're a real ghetto kid," Plucky said. "Cool. I want to know if you've ever rolled down a street smoking indo while sipping on gin and juice?"

Ass.

"Screw you Plucky-"

"Just yanking your chain Wak," he said easily. "I don't see a huge problem. Besides that asshole Darkwing of course."

"I agree," Buster said, looking thoughtful. "Though he's made himself look as bad. The article is basically half truth; it's written to make you look bad. Yakko did assault a few people, but it was people trying to capture you or separate you. The home separated you, but not for rehabilitation. You two never went out of your way to rob people; well, you did, but you said you did it mostly to prove to yourself you could."

"And you're paying them back," Max added with a smirk. "I sure as hell wouldn't do it, but I suppose it's good publicity."

"I don't think that's why Yakko insisted we do it," Wakko said.

"Probably not; he's got one of those…what do you call it?" Max mused quietly. "Oh yeah, a conscience. Whole feeling bad about stuff-"

Plucky laughed. "Shut up Monty- you got one too whether you admit it or not. You suck at playing the whole 'I'm-too-cool-for-that-caring-crap' game."

Glaring at him, Max whispered, "Yeah, right, you're so cool I can't believe it. I totally live in the shadow of your fat ass."

"Oh yeah, good, make me mad - I know secrets on you buddy-"

"Don't even think about-"

"Like this one 'Mr.-I-don't-give-a-crap'…Who's the one that insisted that their father donate a few grand to the Juvenile Diabetes Foundation when they found out that Wak-"

Max gave a low growl and lunged at him from across the couch, knocking both of them to the floor. He wrapped his hands around the duck's throat and said, "I got a new game to play now - it's called hide and go fuck yourself-"

Gasping for air Plucky managed to grunt out, "Let go you ass monkey-"

"Will you two idiots shut up?" Buster hissed as he looked over his shoulder toward the kitchen. "You want them to hear? We came over here to help Wakko, not beat each other's asses. We can do that anytime. Morons! Though I didn't know about that Monty, that sort of rocks-"

"Damn you Plucky. You and your big mouth."

Touched, Wakko watched the human toon. He knew Max tried to come off like a heartless cold-hearted jerk and most of the times he succeeded with flying colors. Deep down though, he wasn't quite the total jerk he portrayed on their series. He wasn't far from it, but he did occasionally give some indication that he had a heart. But he was definitely the only guy Wakko knew that would get pissed because someone said he donated money to a charity because one of his friends had the disease.

Buster settled back into the couch, asking Wakko more questions, seemingly interested in the places they had hidden before coming to the lot. Wakko scooted closer to him to talk so Max and Plucky could have the rest of the couch to wrestle each other on.

Friends could be weird, but like Bugs said, when times got tough the real friends were the ones that got together early on a Saturday morning to come cheer you up. And at the very least, it didn't seem like his three friends were inclined to stay away from him because he was a potential bad influence.

XXXXXXXXXX

Everyone's got someone here but me, Dot thought moodily to herself. Wakko's got his gang of idiots out there in the living room, Mr. Bunny's here with Yakko, Bugs and Slappy are on the way so they can all go see TP to try to sort out the mess…my friends can't even call.

But they probably couldn't because Mr. Bunny was on the phone talking to Bugs. Maybe they were trying to call and they just couldn't get through. That thought cheered her up slightly.

Or maybe not. She remembered the part in the article where Darkwing said he hoped everyone would stay away from them, especially the younger Disney toons, meaning Molly and Webbigail. Ms. Cunningham seemed nice enough; maybe she wouldn't ban Molly from talking to her. Since she hadn't met Webbigail's parents she couldn't say how they would react.

She glanced up at Yakko's face. When he had handed the phone to Mr. Bunny he had sat down at the kitchen table with her still in his arms. He had seemed calm but worried on the phone with Bugs. But Yakko was usually calm. Sitting in his arms she could feel that his body was stiff and rigid; even now as he was sitting at the table she could feel that he was still tense.

Usually he was a lot more relaxed. Not floppy and doughy like Ralph; she could feel the muscles under his fur, but normally he was strong and firm. She had once told Wakko she thought he felt like stone covered in velvet, but Wakko had told her that was gay and something only a girl would say.

Which made sense. Even though Yakko had cut certain information out of the story he had told her earlier, she could tell that he had gone through a lot. He'd only be thirteen in a week…

She wrinkled her nose as she concentrated. Yakko in thirteen years had probably done more than most adults had done in their lifetime. It was because of him they were all together instead of scattered around at different homes. It was because of him that they had been able to eat regularly and knew how to read and could access their hammerspaces and had jobs.

Yakko had told her that he wasn't responsible for all of that; apparently Wakko had a hand in some of it. He was responsible for getting Darkwing chasing them and getting all of them to the lot. He hadn't done it on purpose and she definitely thought Darkwing was overreacting to the entire situation; according to Yakko they had given the wallet back to Yosemite Sam and TIS and TTF couldn't touch them. They weren't exactly fugitives from justice - why was Darkwing being so mean?

She wanted to do a counter-interview with the press telling them that he was a dink and that his daughter was a snot, but Yakko said they couldn't do that. Mostly because he didn't know enough words that would be allowed to be printed to describe his feelings about Darkwing, but also because that would make them look worse.

Yakko saw her staring at him and finally asked, "What Dot? I grow a third ear or something?"

"No, just thinking." curling up into a tighter ball in his lap she asked, "What's gonna happen now? Wakko's wrong right? We're not gonna be fired are we?"

"I doubt it," Yakko said.

She wasn't convinced. If he sounded that unsure, how could she be?

"If we were going to be fired, I think someone would have already told us to start packing our underwear. But I don't know what's going to happen. Bugs said he knew a few reporters that would love to get an interview with him, especially if we were with him."

She gasped. "An interview? With who? I'd love to do an interview-"

"I bet - but I doubt you'll be allowed to go off on a diatribe about Dipwing and Red." He sighed before saying, "I'm not sure with who. Plotz and some publicists are going to get involved, a few other toons Bugs said wanted to give statements. I don't know - I feel sort of left out. Everyone seems to know what to do now, and for once I don't have any idea what's going to happen and that scares me, I don't like not having some sort of plan before handing over control of everything-"

Dot frowned as Yakko talked. And talked some more. Talking was one of Yakko's ways of relieving stress, sort of like her practicing dancing or Wakko playing his violin. But if Yakko wanted to talk, she'd listen.

Mr. Bunny hung up the phone and looked into the living room.

Shaking his head, he muttered, "Excuse me - boys fighting. I'll be back." Walking into the living room he said loudly, "Plucky! Max! Can't you two try getting along? Look at Buster and Wakko - they're behaving…what am I saying…"

Dot heard Max and Plucky start making kissing sounds and then Wakko and Buster start throwing insults at them. Yakko snorted and started to chuckle.

"When are Bugs and Slappy going to get here?" she asked. If Slappy was coming, maybe Skippy would come too. At least then she'd have someone who she considered a friend there.

Yakko shrugged. "No idea. Bugs was on his way is all I know."

Dot gave a slight start as the phone started ringing again. Running a hand through his hair Yakko stood to get it.

"Hello?"

"Hi! It's me! Molly! You remember me right?"

"Yes Molly, I remember you," he said wearily. "You always ask me and I always-"

"Good! I'm not forgettable am I?"

"Got that right," he muttered while pulling the phone away from his ear as Molly kept talking. "I keep trying but it just won't happen-"

Dot gave him a frown. He caught it and smirked at her and she deepened her frown. She knew Molly was hyper but she really didn't talk more than Yakko. Most times anyway.

"-but I think Mommy's mad that he said it because she said it makes the studio look bad like we're a bunch of bullies picking on kids and the adults here aren't like that except maybe Karnage and Pete and-"

Dot started giggling as Yakko opened his mouth to speak when Molly took a breath, but she started talking again before he got a word out. Maybe Molly did talk a lot, but it was fun seeing someone who could outtalk Yakko. Irritated, he closed his mouth and gave her what Wakko called the 'long suffering' look.

"-but Kit said hi because he's right here and he said he'd give Darkwing a kick in his feathered nads if you want-"

"Molly don't say that!" Kit yelled from the background, almost drowning out Molly's still chattering voice. "Damn it! You're gonna get me in trouble!"

"and is Dot there because I really called to speak to her you know even though I really like talking to you!"

Isn't she sweet?

"Yes yes God yes she's here and boy is she anxious to talk to you," Yakko said hurriedly. "Here ya go!"

Using his tail Yakko grabbed the chair they had been sitting in and pulled it toward them. Dot felt herself being plopped down in it and the phone being thrust in her hand before Yakko waved and double stepped out of the kitchen.

Cocking her head in surprise at the speed he ran out, she pressed the phone to her ear as Molly continued to merrily chat to empty air.

"-but I don't think you should do that Yakko because yellow doesn't look good on many boys and while I think you're cute you should stick to blue maybe beca-"

"Hi Molly!"

There was a long pause, and Dot was worried that she may have hung up or her batteries ran dead, sort of like that Energizer Bunny ad she'd seen on TV.

"Dot? Dottie!"

Dot winced and wondered how much sugar Molly had gotten into. She hated Dottie. She chose not to say anything for now; she was too happy Molly had called. Besides, Molly was a girl - it was cuter when she did it.

No it wasn't. She'd correct Molly later.

"Hi Molly," she said again. "I'm glad you called-"

"Me too! I love to talk-"

Couldn't tell.

"-especially to my friends! And you're my friend I don't care what that stupid article said."

"Thanks Molly. I guess everyone's read it."

"Probably. Mommy didn't want me reading it, but when she left to go to the office to pick up some paperwork Kit read it to me but it cost me all my Twizzlers and I think it was worth it because I wanted to know-"

"Damn Molly you got to tell them everything?" Kit bellowed from the background.

"Shut up Kit or I'll tell Mommy about you sneaking out to kiss that girl!" Molly screeched.

Dot pulled the phone away from her ear and started giggling. Not hearing Kit in the background she figured it was probably a valid threat.

"OK, he's gone. Anyway, he read it to me and I don't care what it says I'm not gonna not be your friend. Mommy said that was good because she thinks you're nice too and that a real friend doesn't run at the first sign of trouble. She said the only way to have a friend is to be one."

Dot felt a slight warm feeling come over her. The Cunninghams were the sweetest family in the world. Well, maybe not Kit if he made Molly give him her candy to read that article to her. Thinking, it sounded like something Wakko would do.

"That's the sweetest thing I've heard….in a while," Dot said quietly. "Thank you."

"You're welcome," Molly said cheerfully. "Mommy's full of good sayings - she's really smart. Hey! I got an idea before - maybe next weekend you can come over! Would you like that? Would that make you happy?"

More than anything.

She had always been jealous of Wakko because he got to leave the lot to see his friends. He could only go to Buster's house, but it was still more than she could do. It wasn't fair.

With a slight frown she said, "Yes. But I can't. You know I have to have a chaperone-"

"Nurse Miller can do it! Mommy's friends with her! She can come over too!"

"-and it's Yakko's birthday," Dot finished.

After all Yakko had gone through for them, she couldn't miss his birthday. Wakko said he couldn't ever remember Yakko having any sort of party on his birthday. Given their previous circumstances she understood, but that wasn't fair. Maybe Lisa could take her out this week to get a present. Maybe she could buy him a cake too.

Yakko might not have had a party ever, but she could remember last year; he made sure she had gotten a celebration and her gloves. He had taken Wakko out and got him a book. Since he always made sure they had something, she was going to make sure he got one too.

Wakko might want to hide from his friends and the world but she wasn't. She didn't see where they had anything to be ashamed of and would proudly march off the lot and dare anyone to say anything to her. She'd kick anyone who said anything about them in the shins. Yakko had done what he had to do to keep them together. She was proud of him and what he had accomplished, no matter how he had to do it.

"Yakko's birthday!" Molly gasped, excited. "I'll have to get him a present! How old's he gonna be?"

"Thirteen-"

"Like Kit!"

"Yeah, like Kit," Dot agreed. She sighed. "I need to find him a present myself, but I haven't thought about it, and with this new…issue that's popped up I hope I can get out to shop."

"I know you can! Maybe you can get Nurse Miller to take you out this week, and maybe I can get Mommy to take me out this week and we can shop together!" She squealed in delight before adding, "That would be fun!"

"It'd be great!" Dot exclaimed. After a moment, she grumbled, "I wish it didn't have to be like this, always having to schedule things far in advance and try to find chaperones so we can leave the lot. It's not fair."

"No it's not. But it's better than it was right? Being homeless? Or stuck in that stinky home. And without Mommy and Nurse Miller being friends, and Nurse Miller being able to take you out, we'd never have met. Or we might have at a function, I don't know. Instead I'm happy that you're where you're at and can get off the lot at all; imagine how bad it would be if you couldn't."

She's right. I'm whining about needing a chaperone when things could be ten times worse. At that home where they took me away, or living on the streets…if we were on the street Wakko might not have lived since we couldn't take him to a hospital because we wouldn't have any money.

"Molly, sometimes you're the smartest person I know."

End Chapter 20