A Love To Remember

Chapter 19 -Loved

The next morning Brooke woke up feeling like a truck had run over her; again. Eventually her arm had stopped hurting, but now her entire body was hurting and she wished she could take more painkillers but she already had had the maximum the doctor said she could have. She had to wait another seven hours and the words Julian had said didn't make it any easier.

He couldn't love her. It was too fast. It was rushed and untrue. She had given up on believing in those three words a long time ago. Every time someone said them to her, they lied and she ended up hurt. She had come to terms with it. She wasn't loveable. Sam was moving on to a new mother. Her friends were too busy living their perfect lives and even her godson had been bored around her lately. None of these things were true but Brooke had seemed to reach the end of the line. The only thing keeping her going was Julian and that meant she'd lose him eventually too.

She was almost depressed. When things really seemed to be back on track and she was finally happy despite her physical issues, Rebecca happened, Victoria happened, Sam happened, Julian happened and her friends were gone. Whether things were as bad as she thought or not, she couldn't believe that they'd get better. For her, it was all downhill from now on. She was only waiting for Sam to leave, for Julian to leave and for her to be left behind with only Victoria in the stands.

She has been lost in her thoughts when a knock on her door was heard and Sam stepped in a moment later.

"Can I talk to you?" Sam shyly asked.

"Sure," Brooke answered with a small smile. Maybe she was wrong. They wouldn't leave her.

"Rebecca asked me if I wanted to spend the summer with her. Not the entire summer, if I don't want to. Just a few days or weeks," Sam explained, trying to hide the guilt she felt relaying it to Brooke.

Or maybe I'm not wrong at all, Brooke thought, trying to hold back her emotions. She wouldn't make Sam feel guilty about wanting to see her mother. "Do you want to go?"

"Yes. I expected her to be the bad guy, to be this horrible person that abandoned her baby but she isn't. In fact she seems a lot like me…" said Sam quietly, a small smile resting on her lips.

"Oh," Brooke branched, adding, "It's a good thing she's not so bad."

"Yeah, you know, she had me when she was my age and I wouldn't know what to do either and she said her parents made her do it," Sam continued, fiddling with the rings on her fingers.

"Yeah, I know one thing or two about parents controlling your life," Brooke agreed and was thankful that Sam wasn't paying attention to her. She knew all her pain was for anyone to see and that the words had never been so hard to say.

"Is everything with you and Julian okay?" Sam asked after a few minutes, finally looking at Brooke.

"We had a small fight but it was about business. They say it's never a good thing to work with your spouse. I guess the same goes for your boyfriend," Brooke teased, forcing another smile. Her facial muscles were already hurting because of the many unwilling smiles she had been giving these days.

"He's a good guy, Brooke. Don't hurt him. I never really asked you anything but I am asking you now," Sam confessed.

"I'll do my best," Brooke relented, nodding her head. The smile that remained on her lips was even more strained. Not even Julian would make up for the loss of Sam.

"Well, I'll go pack. I'll come to visit you," Sam assured her with an honest smile. "So you won't hate me."

"Sam, come here," Brooke urged, her arms opening.

"I will never hate you," she pronounced, embracing the teenager, "Because I love you so much and everything I did was out of love. I tried to be present because Victoria never was and I missed having a mom around. I tried to keep you away from her because she really did a lot of damage to me and I didn't want you to get hurt. And I was really having a hard time letting you know your birth mother only because I didn't want you to be in more pain than you've been in for the past fifteen years. I'm sorry if I wasn't a good mother and if I disappointed and hurt you but I will never hate you because I love you so much."

"I love you too," she mumbled, tears on her cheeks.

"Will you be at Peyton's shower?" Brooke asked.

"Yeah, I'll meet you there. It'll be at four, right?" Sam asked, making sure she had the time right.

"Yes."

"I'll be there," Sam insured, smiling at her mother. "Now I'll go pack." She pointed to her room. "Brooke?" Brooke looked up from her hands and raised her brows. "You're the best mom."

"Thank you," Brooke called as Sam ran to her bedroom.

"And there goes the first one," Brooke grieved, sighing as she fell back onto her bed.

"Brooke!" Julian walked into the house around noon.

"She's not here," Victoria answered, her back turned to the door.

"Hi, I'm Julian" he greeted with a nervous smile.

"Of course you are," Victoria lamented, turning around and crossing her arms over her chest. "Victoria Davis."

"Of course you are," he mocked her words. He didn't expect any less from the woman that nearly destroyed Brooke's heart and life.

"Where's Brooke?" He thought it odd that she was out of the house. He wanted desperately to talk to her after their fight the previous night and he didn't know if her absence in her sanctuary for almost two months was good or not.

"You do realize the name of the company is Clothes over Bros, right?" Victoria challenged with narrowed eye.

"My father always made me feel like I wasn't good enough. Every time I had any success he reminded me of my failures. I see that in Brooke. She is so talented and goodhearted and beautiful but she carries this feeling that she is not good enough," he asserted, looking straight at Victoria. "And she has you to thank for that. Nice work."

"Are you finished?" Victoria rolled her eyes, trying to intimidate the young man.

"No," he said, walking closer to her. "Not yet."

"I love your daughter. I am in love with her and one of these days she is going to love me back. And when she does, I want you to understand something. You are going to learn to be nice to her or you won't be in her life," Julian admonished but he didn't look threatening. He looked determined and that struck a chord in Victoria.

"And there is one more thing Victoria. I know Sam is going to spend the summer with her birth mother and maybe she won't ever come back, but if she does, don't you dare hurt her. You already created enough damage with Brooke and I won't let you do the same with Sam. She's been through a lot already," he finished, serious and steadfast. He stared her down for a moment before he turned and headed towards the door.

"Julian!"

"I'm happy she has you in her life and also Sam. Brooke's heart has been broken many times; by me, by her father, by Peyton, by boys, by basically anyone that was in her life and allowed into her heart. I am not the only one to blame but I might be the biggest one. She isn't ready to love you back and if everything you just said to me is true, you should wait for her because she is worth it," Victoria avowed, keeping her face as smooth as stone.

"I know it Victoria. I've known it since the first time I laid eyes on her. Too bad that it took you twenty three years," he retorted, leaving a speechless Victoria behind him.

When he reached for the door, he turned and cast a weary look at her. "But I'm glad you finally did." With that, the door opened and he disappeared behind it.

"Who was that?" Sam asked, coming from the bathroom. She had heard people talking.

"Julian. I finally met him. I guess you were right about him after all." Victoria gave a small smile. She was happy Brooke had someone like him but his words also took a toll on her thoughts.

"Of course I was right," Sam shrugged with a big grin on her lips.

"Go get dressed, kid. We need to pick a dress for you before you go," Victoria ordered, changing the subject.

"I'm going," she called as she entered her room.

"What do you think?" Victoria placed a green dress in front of Sam.

"Not really," Sam grimaced.

"Samantha, this is a baby shower. You can't look like you just came from a Brazilian favela," Victoria chided and Sam smiled weakly. It wasn't a good idea to go shopping with Victoria.

"So how is everything going with you know who?" Victoria implored nonchalantly as she looked for another dress. The words Julian said were still running through her head. Did Sam really want to spend the summer with Rebecca?

"It's okay. We'll spend some time together in the summer. She'll pick me up tonight at Brooke's," Sam explained.

Victoria swallowed and plastered a fake smile on her face. "I think this is perfect. It has Davis written all over it," Victoria nodded, holding the dress up to show Sam.

"You think so?"

"Of course, you are a Davis, Sam. No matter what happens from now on. You are a Davis," Victoria told her, hugging her from behind.

"You know this actually counts as a hug, right?" Sam snickered, her tone sarcastic.

"No it doesn't. I was just adjusting the dress over your body. Go try it on," Victoria ordered, giving her the dress and going back to look for other dresses to cover her teary eyes.

"I thought you'd be here," Julian announced, entering the store and seeing Brooke sitting at her desk with some clothes over it. "I'm still thinking about the movie. We talk about business on business days, and today is Saturday."

"Okay," she answered. "Why'd you think I'd be here?"

"Because this is the only place you feel safe, Brooke Davis. The only place you feel in control and where you won't be hurt," he said, looking at his upset girlfriend.

"Yeah," she agreed, sliding her hands over the dresses on the desk.

"She's not abandoning you," Julian assured her.

"Not yet. Who knows how she'll feel after spending some time with her real mom," Brooke mused with a defeated expression.

"I know she won't. You have no idea how much that girl loves you and how thankful she is for what you did for her." Julian's voice spoke volumes of pride and honesty.

"Still, I'm not her real mom, so I can't compete with Rebecca," Brooke argued, her eyes tearing up.

"No, there is no way to compete…" he said, moving towards her, "With Brooke Davis."

Brooke snorted, "Right."

"She won't leave you. I won't leave you," he tried, turning her wheelchair to face him and placing both of his hands in her lap, "Because we love you, Brooke Davis."

"Julian…" Brooke sighed, gathering her courage to tell him that he didn't really love her.

"And I know you love her back with all your heart and that you will miss her. I'll miss her too but we won't lose her. I know we won't," Julian reassured her, bending down to hug her.

"She loves us, Brooke. She's just confused," he explained, trying to silence his own fears about Sam.

"What if she loves Rebecca more?" Brooke asked he biggest question.

"She won't. It's nearly impossible for someone that loves you to let you go. It's impossible to love someone else more than you," he said.

"Well, I guess I was never loved. Because everyone left," Brooke mumbled, looking down.

"Maybe; but if they loved you and left you, they're just stupid and Sam and I aren't stupid," he said, raising her chin and kissing her softly.

"And I know you are not ready to love me back. I know you have all those wounds to heal and those fears to face. All I ask is for a chance to love you until you are ready to let me in" he pleaded, cupping her face in his hands.

"Julian, I'm always offering you so less than you deserve. You need to stand up for yourself. It is not fair. You deserve more from me. In fact, you deserve someone better than me," she sighed, opening her box of insecurities.

"You really don't get it, do you?"

"What?"

"There isn't anyone better than you. There isn't someone more selfless, beautiful, goodhearted, passionate, caring, loving, brave or stronger than you, Brooke Davis," he smiled. "And that's why we love you."

"What would I do without you, Julian Baker?" Brooke smiled a tearful grin.

"You don't have to imagine because I will never leave," he guaranteed, bringing her face to his lips and kissing her with all his love.

AN: So Sam is spending the summer with her birth mother - which I think is the realistic thing to be done, even if they started talked only for a couple of weeks. This summer vacation could be one or two weeks long and if that goes well maybe the whole summer, we'll see.

Brooke isn't ready to be loved and love back, Julian knows it, Victoria knows it and surely Brooke does as well. She already loves Julian and she knows it and something will ignite the opening process and abbreviate it.

Julian is assuring he won't leave, he is repeating it time after time but what happens when he is also truly affect by this death?

Next chapter: great JSB family moment, Breyton and Pulian - yes you are not reading it wrong.