I am exhausted from the effort to forget... There are things that have to be forgotten if you want to go on living."
― Stephen Carpenter, Killer
Will sneaks a look at Elsa when the silhouette of two figures huddled together near the town border comes into focus. David's grip on the steering wheel tightens as he too glances in the rear view mirror at the clouded blue eyes trained on the wolf snuggled against Belle's side. He turns the heater up full blast as the windows start frosting over, casting another worried glance at Elsa in the rear view mirror. The wolf's ears flatten at the sound of the approaching vehicle and she leaps up, positioning herself in front of Belle and snarls at the approaching police cruiser with bared teeth. The cruiser crawls to a stop. David shakes his head when Will reaches for his sidearm. They exit the vehicle slowly, arms raised slightly. The wolf growls softly.
"It's just us, Ruby." David says in a soothing voice. He glances over his shoulder at the lone passenger in the police cruiser. "We won't hurt you."
"Or Belle." A soft, sad voice adds.
Yellow eyes search until they find the owner of that voice. The wolf tilts her head and settles back on her haunches. Elsa steps out from behind the passenger door, holding Ruby's cloak. As ever, her expression remains neutral, but a soft haze of snowflakes drift around her as she takes a few steps forward and spreads the cloak out on the road. The wolf's head dips a little, as though she's trying to catch Elsa's downcast eyes, but Elsa's blue eyes remain hidden.
With a strange huff, the wolf sits up, shakes out her fur and lopes towards the cloak, lifting it with her snout and crawling underneath. Ruby stretches herself to her full height and tugs the cloak around her shoulders. Her lips spread into a soft smile at the familiar scent of Elsa on her cloak. The smile falters when she finally catches Elsa's eyes and notices the strange distance in them. Like an ocean protected by a wall of furious waves.
"Elsa?" Ruby reaches for her lover, but David's voice stops her in her tracks.
"Belle, no!" David cries as he races forward and tackles a struggling Belle to the ground, inches from crossing the town border. Ruby glances at Elsa when she notices the thin wall of ice forming along the border. Elsa dips her head in acknowledgement of Ruby's mouthed 'thank you', lowers her arms and clasps her hands in front of her. David grunts as he pins Belle down. She keeps struggling against him. She fights like a trapped wild animal. She fights like she has nothing left to lose. It's only when she sees Ruby approaching them that she calms down. Ruby brushes her fingers over the taught muscles of David's arms. Pale eyes assess the girl in his arms before slowly relaxing his hold on her. Belle doesn't struggle against Ruby when she pulls her into her lap, but when Ruby starts combing stray locks from Belle's face she rolls out of reach, pulling her knees tight against her chest.
"What happened to not wanting to lose yourself?" Ruby tries to keep the anger from her voice. Belle surveys the barrier of ice keeping her from crossing the border and rests her chin against her knee. She reaches out with her left hand and slides her fingers over the clear ice.
"Seeing you with her...the way you look at her...I've never been jealous before." Belle confesses as her fingers keep tracing circles against the clear barrier of ice. "She did this," Belle's fingers tap against the cold surface, "to protect me, and rather than feel grateful...I...hate her. Even worse, a part of me wants to hurt her...which would hurt you...That's not who I want to be." A trenchant smile slides over Belle's lips. "So you see, it seems I've lost myself already."
Belle watches her fingers slide over cold hard ice. She pulls her chin against her chest and drops her forehead against her knee. She doesn't seem to notice that she's started rocking forwards and backwards.
"That's not who you are, though." Ruby's words are spoken quietly, but filled with conviction.
"Isn't it?" Belle mutters into her knees. Ruby frowns and looks at Belle. Soft flakes of snow start forming a thin white layer on the road. Belle lifts her face, holds out her hand and watches a single snowflake as it drifts down into her palm before melting.
"Jung once said that you are what you do, not what you say you'll do." Belle stops rocking and leans forward, splaying her fingers over the ice blocking her way. "If I cross, and forget, I won't feel this torn anymore. Or this confused..." Belle's hand drops from the ice. "Then again, even as Lacey, I chose The Dark One. I think I always will." Belle folds her arms around her knees again and tugs them close. "I am already lost."
"Then we'll just have to find you." Ruby smiles her cheeky smile even through her tears. Belle's sharp blue eyes study the play of emotions over Ruby's face, before they focus on the road on the other side of the ice. Her only response is to tug her knees closer. The subtle rocking resumes.
Regina tries to mask her discomfort at the way Belle keeps staring up at Ruby. Ruby is oblivious, her fingers weaving through the air as she explains the implications of the spell. Apparently, Elsa is struggling too. Her bottom lip trembles almost imperceptibly before she catches the offending flesh between her teeth. Regina only realises that she's taken Elsa's hand when she feels surprisingly warm fingers wrap around hers. Elsa's posture remains regal as ever and her expression is perfectly neutral, but the desperate way she clings to Regina's hand betrays how hard she is struggling to contain her emotions. Regina cringes at Elsa's sudden vice grip when Belle reaches for Ruby's hand, while a part of her marvels at the strength of Elsa's deceptively graceful fingers. When a thin layer of ice starts enveloping their hands, Elsa forces herself to calm down.
"You two are meant for each other." Regina almost bites her tongue when the words escape her lips, realising that it sounded a lot like something the two idiots would say. Elsa's stormy blue eyes study her carefully.
"As are you and your Emma." Elsa makes the statement sound more like a question. A soft gasp plops from Elsa's lips, alerting Regina to the fact that she's almost breaking Elsa's fingers in a death grip. With a mumbled apology, Regina releases her hold and Elsa tries to be subtle as she massages some blood back into her hand. Regina mulls over her words, accentuating them with a sad shake of her head.
"Sometimes it's easy to mistake lust for love." The longing in Regina's voice makes it clear she is not the one mistaking the two.
"Is that what I am to Ruby?" Elsa seems unaware of the few drops of blood escaping from the lip caught between her teeth. Regina slowly shakes her head.
"I don't think so, dear, but I can't speak for Ruby. I was merely referring to my own...situation." Delicate fingers flutter over suddenly damp cheeks before they wrap around Regina's hand. Uncertainty hovers in the silence between them.
"Are you sure this is wise? She is, after all, the one who helped him regain the power he will undoubtedly use to destroy us." Elsa queries in a less-than-subtle attempt at changing the subject.
"Let him try." Elsa shudders at the venom in Regina's voice. "Besides, whether it be foolish or not, Ruby has her heart set on helping the girl." Brown eyes grow tender as they watch the young werewolf. "And I find myself unable to refuse her."
Elsa's answering smile is heartbreaking.
They watch Ruby's articulate fingers end their detailed explanation. The battle to contain their discomfort at the way Belle stares up at Ruby rages on.
Neither of the two friends notice their audience. Ruby is wholeheartedly focussed on helping Belle, and Belle's only focus is Ruby - Ruby's lips as they mould around her words, Ruby's fingers caressing the air as she speaks, Ruby's hand clasped in hers, palm against palm...Belle is torn from her reverie when Ruby tugs at their clasped hands and watches Belle as if she's waiting for something. An answer. Belle missed the question.
"Belle?" Ruby manages to tug her hand free. Belle frowns. "So, should we do it?" Ruby repeats her question, trying to decipher Belle's strange expression.
"Yes." Belle smiles weakly. "Ruby? I...um, thank you for...everything. I'm sorry my feelings...I'm sorry I've ruined our friendship."
Ruby's elegant fingers squeeze Belle's shoulders and Belle leans into the touch. Her eyes wander over the arms that belong to the hands resting on her shoulders and she takes a step forward into those strong, lean arms. Her hands wrap around Ruby's waist and her fingers clutch at Ruby's wrinkled white shirt. Ruby tenses slightly, before a look of tenderness floods her features and she allows Belle to pull her even closer.
"Oh, Belle. It's not ruined. I will always be your friend." Ruby vows. "Nothing will ever change that." She can't see Belle's grimace at the words.
Gold holds the potion up to the light, sloshing the magical liquid around the vial. Blue,like her eyes. The thought sobers him for a moment. He knows it has only been a couple of hours, still, he misses her. The house feels...no, he feels empty without her. Gold folds his fingers around the vial. She will come back. Until then, time to tie up a few loose ends.
Gold tucks the vial safely away in the inner pocket of his jacket, brushes away a few pieces of lint on the collar and straightens his tie. Belle bought him this tie. Gold scowls. It is not like him to be so distracted by this weakness for the girl. Why must today be so different? It's becoming tiring. He twirls the cuff link of his left sleeve as he gazes into the empty glass display cabinet. His vision fills with Belle's face, the moment she traced the tears on his cheek and said goodbye. The look in her eyes - he has never seen such emptiness in those blue eyes before. An emptiness that spoke of many things, but mainly of being lost. So lost, that she may never be found. Gold's hand drifts to his cheek. He knows. He finally understands. Today feels different, because it is different. The difference is that even though those were her eyes, his Belle wasn't in there anymore.
He has to find her.
He needs a locator spell. Gold conjures a locator potion and rushes through the house like a crazed tornado, running from one room to another, ruffling through cupboards, searching through drawers...until it hits him. She has taken all her belongings. Every single one.
Clever girl. Sadness bleeds over his face before it coagulates into cold determination. There is an eery calmness in his measured steps as he walks back to his study. Bony fingers sweep across the dark mahogany of the desk searching for a blemish in the grain. Gold raps his knuckle against the rough patch to reveal a hidden compartment. Dry skin scrubs against smooth metal. Gold's eyes close in concentration before he dissolves into a rancid cloud of smoke.
Gold's shadow melts over the dark bitumen as he materialises next to the car parked in the empty lane-way behind Granny's Diner. He unlocks the car with a wave of his hand and swings open the driver's door. Thin, gnarly fingers form a bony cage around the finely crafted crystal wolf. Gobs of potion splash against its surface. A dark smile stretches Gold's face until he resembles the skull of that burnt witch in his shop; all teeth and dark shadows.
Snow smiles as she watches yet another nurse fawning over her little boy. The nurses seem quite taken with him and as a result, little Neal has been in the arms of almost every nurse on duty tonight. Nurse Potts in particular seems to be little Neal's favourite. Small podgy hands reach up towards round cheeks and Nurse Potts smiles a dazzling bright smile at Snow before she whispers something to little Neal, who gurgles with delight. Nurse Potts starts humming a lullaby and winks at Snow as she waddles off with little Neal in her arms.
Snow shifts in the visitor's chair, trying to get comfortable. Henry is fast asleep in the visitor's chair next to Emma's bed. He sighs and crunches his lanky limbs into an even stranger angle as he mumbles in his sleep. Snow smiles and allows her eyes to wander back to her daughter. She can't help but stare. It's one of the rare occasions she can. Her gaze softens as she marvels at sleeping Emma - peaceful, carefree and impossibly beautiful. All the years missed clench around Snow's heart like a fist. Pulling her cardigan tightly around her, Snow folds her arms around the familiar ache and tries to enjoy this rare moment while it lasts.
She must have drifted off to sleep, Snow realises as she wakes when familiar lips brush against her cheek. Something about the silence in the room nags at the back of Snow's consciousness before the sound of a chair scraping against the linoleum floor fills it. A warm arm pulls her closer and the scent of Old Spice tickles her sinuses. Snow leans a bit closer and rests her hand against David's steady heartbeat. From somewhere along the hospital corridor, another annoyingly loud clock draws attention to the seconds ticking by. Snow lifts her head to look at her husband. He is watching Emma with unfiltered affection lined with sadness.
"When I put her in the wardrobe, I knew we would be separated for 28 years, as the imp foretold." David's voice is low, filled with regret. "I knew we were sacrificing raising our daughter so she could escape the curse and one day free us all from it...Though I mourned all the precious moments lost to us forever; that night, bleeding out on the nursery floor, staring at the closed doors of the wardrobe, I told myself that even though we would lose so much, one day she would find us, and I would hold my little girl in my arms again." The knuckles of his left hand crack as he tightens his grip on the hilt of the sheathed sword leaning against his chair. Pale eyes soak in blonde curls strewn across bleached white linen. "Every day I see her and marvel at the beautiful woman she's become, but I still feel like I am on the other side of that wardrobe, unable to cross those 28 years to reach her."
The pressure of Snow's palm against David's heart increases. She looks up at her husband and brushes her fingertips over the scar on his chin. David's large hand cups hers, holding it against his cheek. There are no words strong enough to soothe the hidden scars, so none are offered. They find a strange form of comfort in everything left unspoken.
The silence is broken by a soft, pained whine from Emma. The silence! Snow's eyes grow wide and she clutches at David's shirt sleeve. It's too quiet. The strange hum of the barrier spell no longer fills the room. David clasps the hand clutching at his sleeve and tries to grab Snow's attention, but Snow tugs free and rushes to retrieve her bow and quiver of arrows tucked underneath a coat and scarf in the corner of the room. David tenses and his body shifts into a battle stance.
"What's going on, Snow?" David unsheathes his sword, eyes scanning the room.
"The barrier spell! Regina cast a spell to protect Emma." Snow throws back, quiver already slung around her shoulder, bow levelled but arrow notched and at the ready. She has placed herself in front of Emma, sharp eyes watching the door. "It's been broken."
"Henry!" Snow calls out for her grandson.
"Nurse Flora offered to drop Neal and Henry off at Granny's on her way home." David moves to block the door, sword poised. "They left just after I got here, about 5 minutes ago.
"Regina?!"
Snow starts when Emma lurches upright in her hospital bed, clutching at her heart. Emma searches the room with wild eyes. A harsh gasp for air is followed by a piercing cry of pain. Snow reaches for her daughter but finds herself grasping nothing but air. David's hand appears through the fading cloud of pink smoke and comes to rest on the empty bed. They share a look of pure terror.
Snow's fist uncurls to grab her phone when it starts chirping. She barely has time to choke out hello before Ruby starts yelling frantically. All the blood drains from Snow's face.
"The Light protect us." Snow whispers before she tears out of the door with David close on her heels.