So this chapter was slightly unexpected and came from out of nowhere. XD to be honest, I don't know how I feel about such a filler-wish chapter; I think most of it was to prove that Karkat can care, in his own way. XD but I ended up liking this chapter more than anything else I've written for this fanfic.
Read, enjoy, and don't forget to review! XD
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Tavros stared up at the darkened ceiling, trying to keep his breathing quiet and even. Gamzee was laying to his right, his left arm slung over Tavros's waist in a loose hold. Each soft exhale of breath warmed Tavros's forehead, ruffling the front of his mowhawk and blowing the strands away. Karkat was on his left, curled up on himself and breathing quietly as he slept as well. He kept to himself as he dreamt, his face smooth and calm while he rested.
Tavros couldn't sleep.
He thought that he had escaped the hardest part of the competition already. The speech and interview portion of it was what had given Tavros the most anxiety when he thought about it. But when Karkat decided that they were going to play a review game after dinner had ended, and Tavros lost miserably to his teammates, it made him rethink his priorities.
Speech and interview was important, sure, but that was only two sections of a decathlon. There were eight other categories that made up the competition. He couldn't remember much about his essay, just that he had trouble with it because geology sucked, but Tavros had anticipated that and he didn't let it bother him too much; it wasn't like he really spent too much time worrying about his essay anyway. But the Super Quiz portion, Science and therefore geology by default, was the most important part of the competition.
And Tavros was nervous; nobody was going to be happy with him if he didn't do everything in his power to help them get to State, and as of now he was completely letting everyone down. He'd barely skimmed over Economics and Math, and though he knew as much as anyone on the short selections from Language and Literature, he still couldn't get past the first couple of chapters in The Grapes of Wrath. History wasn't any better, and Art and Music was as hopeless as Tavros's Math. Science was the only thing he studied hard with any consistency outside of review sessions and cramming. In fact, even with all the time he spent going over Science, he still couldn't manage to retain the simplest, most boring facts about the subject.
Tavros felt very small in Gamzee's arms, but it had nothing to do with his size compared to the Honors student's.
It saddened him to think of the friends he was letting down just by being on a team; if it had just been him, Tavros probably wouldn't feel as much pressure, but there were eight other people on his team depending on him. Two of them were currently around him, sleeping peacefully and untouched by the turmoil in Tavros's stomach. He shifted a bit in Gamzee's arms, wondering about how badly his incompetence would hit them. Sollux and Eridan were so wrapped up in each other that Tavros felt like he was barely a passing thought in their minds. Equius and he had gotten a little closer during the day, but Tavros didn't doubt that the younger Zahhak would expect anything but his failure. Dave and John would probably be disappointed, though it was more likely that Dave wouldn't give a shit and John wouldn't be able to hide the sad look in his eyes if they didn't make it to State because of him. Vriska would tear into him as much as she could, like she was prone to doing when she didn't get her way.
But Gamzee and Karkat were probably the people he was closest to on the team, and it was letting them down that hit Tavros the hardest. Gamzee would probably not even notice in a normal way, but he was always able to tell when something was up. Especially if it concerned Tavros in any way. And Karkat- - -
"Hey." The voice was rough from sleep and quiet, too quiet to be Gamzee's; it also came from Tavros's left, prompting the Varsity to turn his head in the proper direction to see the speaker. In the dark, lit up only by the moon, Karkat's eyes seemed to glow a bright crimson. He hadn't moved from his curled up position, but as Tavros watched and stared back quietly, Vantas's eyes seemed to grow more alert as he woke up. "The fuck's a matter with you?"
"I'm sorry?" Tavros squeaked in shock, though he was mindful to keep quiet. It didn't matter; Gamzee shifted a bit and pressed himself closer behind him, his arm tightening on Tavros. They waited in silence as Makara grumbled a bit in his sleep, rubbing his face against the back of the Nitram's head. Shivers ran up and down Tavros's arms and spine at the contact of Gamzee's lips against his hair and head, and the sensation made him close his eyes involtunarily.
When Gamzee settled again and stopped moving, the Varsity opened his eyes to meet Karkat's. The other boy hadn't closed his own eyes again, instead watching the interaction thoughtfully. His intense scrutiny made Tavros blush darkly; he was thankful for the lack of light, because for the first time it meant that no one else would see how red he could turn.
"C'mon." Karkat said quietly. His red eyes vanished as he turned and Tavros watched as Karkat stood up, silhouetted in the moonlight. After a long moment, in which he watched Vantas turn and stride quietly to the door, Tavros made a noise of distress; Gamzee grip was iron-tight and unyielding, which meant he was stuck. Crimson eyes made themselves known as Karkat spun around, zeroing in on the lump that was his best friend and teammate. With an annoyed huff, he stepped just as quietly back to where Tavros was laying, trapped.
Without hesitation, Vantas grabbed Gamzee's arm and moved it gently, lifting it enough for Tavros to squirm away from the passed out Honors student. Without even batting an eye, Karkat leaned over and grabbed his vacated pillow, placing his friend's arm over it. Instantly, Gamzee snuggled into the pillow, mumbling something about his mirthful messiahs.
"C'mon." Karkat repeated, grabbing Tavros's arm in a gentle grip and leading him effortlessly around the obstacles that found themselves spread out over the room. When they got to the door, Karkat pulled it open as quietly as possible, indicating to Tavros that he should follow his team leader downstairs.
Soon they were in the dining room. Karkat pushed Tavros down in the chair closest to the head of the table, continuing without breaking stride to the kitchen. Uncertain of what to do, Tavros squirmed in the cold wood seat. The silence and darkness made the house seem bigger than it was, making the soft noises Karkat was making in the kitchen comforting. Kurloz, Meulin and Nepeta had left after dinner, but Tavros was certain that someone had been coming none too quietly up the stairs sometime after Karkat fell asleep. It made him nervous, even though it was probably Gamzee's dad, and instead of getting up to find out who it was, Tavros had squirmed backwards away from the door until Gamzee's arm pinned him. It had calmed him down immediately, but it didn't bring Tavros any of the peace it seemed to bring his much taller friend; several seconds after that, Tavros began worrying about the competition.
Ten minutes later, Karkat placed a steaming black mug in front of him; Tavros jumped a bit, so lost in his thoughts that he hadn't realized that Karkat had reappeared.
"So what the hell's your problem?" The Vantas snapped, bringing a matching black mug to his lips as he took the seat across from his teammate. Tavros watched as Vantas wrapped his hands around the mug, blowing on the heat emanating from the mug. After a moment of staring blankly at Karkat's unimpressed face, Tavros managed to squeak out something resembling an answer.
"What?" Karkat sighed heavily and placed his mug gently on the table. Steepling his fingers, he fixed a stern glare on the other boy.
"You were thinking." He clarified. "Loudly. What's your deal?"
"I'm worried about tomorrow." Tavros admitted quietly. Karkat's face didn't move when he spoke, but the team leader made an impatient motion with his hand in the area of the mug; Tavros picked it up and pressed his mouth against the ceramic, letting the heat warm his face.
"Why?" Tavros looked surprised at the question, lifting his head a bit. Karkat's nose twitched, and Tavros immediately returned the mug to his lips. When Karkat continued to stare, he took a tentative sip.
Chocolate, peppermint, and whipped cream burst into his mouth, and Tavros let out a muffled noise of shock. He jerked his hand, forcing more of the concoction into his mouth and burning his throat in the process. Slamming the mug down, Tavros coughed and gasped while Karkat watched impassively with a raised eyebrow.
"That's really good." He gasped out at Karkat, eyes watering from the pain. A smile creeped onto Vantas's face, one that he tried to hide by bringing the mug up to hide his mouth. Tavros saw it through his watering eyes, though he was careful not to bring it up and ruin the moment.
"It's Porrim's recipe." He replied over the lip of the black mug. Tipping the hot chocolate down his own throat carefully, Karkat closed his eyes momentarily in contentment. "She likes to make this for us whenever we aren't feelimg that great or can't sleep. It's supposedly a fucking giant secret or some shit, but it's not really much of anything aside from hot chocolate with a fucking peppermint mixed in. Not exactly rocket science." He leaned forward and studied Tavros critically. "Now why the fuck can't you sleep? We've got competition tomorrow. It's one-fuckin-thirty-four in the morning."
"I can't…" Tavros cleared his throat, freeing one hand from the mug and using it to wipe away a few stray tears. Karkat continued watching, taking small careful sips from his own mug.
"Can't what?" Vantas prompted sarcastically when Tavros quieted to gather his thoughts.
"I don't know if I can, do this." Tavros admitted in a rush. He hated how weak it made him sound, but once it was out there everything came falling out. "I know my, my essay was most likely, uh, crap, and don't even get me started on my interview- - -I mentioned the animal shelter- - -"
"Which I said you should mention." Karkat cut in with a nod.
"I mentioned the animal put downs." Tavros shot back, wincing away from his team leader's withering glare.
"Which I fucking said you shouldn't!" Vantas snapped in irritation, slamming the mug down. "God-fucking-dammit, Nitram, I specifically told you not to say that!"
"I know, I know, and I'm sorry!" Tavros cut across Karkat's angry tirade with a pointed glance upwards, reminding the other boy that it was late and everyone that was in the house was asleep, even if there were only two other people. Vantas glowered fiercely at the reminder, but he picked up his mug again and took an angry gulp.
"So, what," he continued angrily in a hiss, "you think because of one stupid fucking mistake, you can't do this anymore?"
"No." Tavros picked up his mug again and took a long drink; now that it had cooled down a little bit, he could taste the chocolate peppermint mixture without burning his tongue. It was rich, and unsurprisingly cooling, and it gave him the boost he needed to keep talking. "If it was just that, I uh, I wouldn't worry. But…" He sighed and stared down at the whipped cream mixing into the warm drink. "I'm not…good at this. I can't remember as much as you or Gamzee and, um. If I can't help get to, to State, then- - -"
"Then we'll try again next year." Tavros couldn't help it; his eyes shot up from the mug to Karkat staring at him with a raised eyebrow. At the sight of his disbelief, Vantas put his mug down and sighed heavily. Frowning, he rubbed his temple briefly before steepling his fingers together. "Look, Nitram, your place with us is not fucking dependent on what you do for us."
"But Vriska- - -"
"No one gives a crap about Serket and her damn vendetta." Karkat brushed the mention of their Scholastic teammate aside with a wave of his hand. "Drink that, this shit's delicious and I'll be beyond pissed if you waste it." He waited until Tavros took another long drink before continuing. "Now, despite what Serket seems to think, you being on our team is not entirely dependent on you performing some stupid ass miracle out of your ass."
There was an extremely muffled noise from upstairs, but Karkat regrabbed Tavros's wandering attention by leaning over the table and taking a hold of Nitram's chin in his hand. With a gentle but firm prompting, Vantas made Tavros face him. He didn't speak again until Tavros's chocolate brown eyes met the overly-crimson of Karkat's. Their faces were much closer than Nitram anticipated; a deep flush instantly covered his face, making the moment much more intimate even though Vantas's gaze remained as firm and unyielding as Gamzee's hold had been.
"This whole damn team being friends with you," he said with no room for arguing, "is not dependent on you getting us to fucking State all on your fucking own, asshat. There are nine people on this damn team for a fucking reason."
"Hey, motherfuckers." Gamzee's voice was deep and sleep-cracked; Karkat and Tavros pulled away from each other at the same time and turned as one, both taking in the Makara slouching in the doorway. His hair was wilder and messier than normal, mussed by sleep, and his eyes were heavy with the same thing. Still, despite the look and his clear semi-awareness, Gamzee was still looking suspiciously between his two best friends, seeming to focus more on the deep flush on Tavros's face. "What's up?"
"God damn it." Karkat snarled. With an irritated sigh and a mumbled complaint- - -something that sounded very similar to 'we have fucking competition tomorrow, dumbasses'- - -he threw Tavros's face to the side and stormed as quietly as he could away from the table. Gamzee drifted over while Tavros took another shaky sip of hot chocolate, though whatever he would have said was interrupted by Karkat appearing again.
"Thanks, motherfucker." Gamzee murmured absently, accepting the mug Vantas was shoving in his hand. Tavros had a moment to appreciate the steam rising from it before Makara tossed his head back and drained the mug in three large gulps.
"Show-off." Karkat muttered from behind his mug, while Tavros squeaked in shock. Gamzee sent his much smaller teammate a warm, sleepy smile, indicating he should finish his own hot chocolate.
"Gotta keep my main motherfuckers all up and pumped for tomorrow." He explained while Tavros took several gulps of the concoction. "Which means getting lots of snoozing on right now."
"Let him finish the damn cup first." Karkat ordered firmly as the Honors student tried to pull the other Varsity out of his seat; when he reluctantly dropped his friend's arm, Vantas fixed his gaze firmly on Tavros. "But the dumbass is right; we need as much sleep as we can get. So hurry the fuck up already."
Tavros rushed to obey; his hot chocolate had turned lukewarm and it was easier to simply down it the way Gamzee had, especially since there wasn't much of it left. While Karkat finished at a much slower pace, his eyes were critically locked onto Tavros as if he could pick up any more doubts that creeped into the other boy's head. He grabbed the three mugs in his hands, saying something to Gamzee that sounded muffled to Tavros.
He let Gamzee manhandle him up both sets of stairs, Karkat close behind. It wasn't until he was being laid down on his sleeping bag that Tavros felt alert enough to say something. He meant to ask about his current drowsy state, but all that came out was a garbled noise that both Gamzee and Karkat shooshed. Sleepy irritation at being calmed like a child crawled into his chest, but Tavros felt his eyes drift shut before he could voice his protest.
Only to jump up when Karkat blared an air horn in the room. He let out a demented chuckle when Gamzee's cursing started up, giving Tavros a truly evil grin when the Nitram glared sleepily at him from the floor. The team leader was already wide awake and dressed, though he had clothes draped over his other arm. Carelessly dropping the air horn on the floor, Karkat threw the clothes over Tavros's head; they landed on Gamzee, who shouted something that sounded like 'fuck you man'.
"It's show time, losers." He announced. "Get your asses up and ready to go- - -Kurloz is going to be here soon."
"Fuck." Gamzee groaned as he pushed himself up, pulling the clothes off of his head as he did so. Tavros missed the warmth that had been radiating from the taller Honors student instantly, though he hid it by jumping up and rushing to his bag; digging through it quickly, the Varsity discarded his shirt and pulled another one on, one less formal than the one he wore for his Interview portion. He also grabbed his pants and his gel, getting to the bathroom at the same time as Gamzee did. They watched each other slightly warily for a brief second before silently agreeing to share the room.
Makara grabbed his toothbrush and began brushing his teeth while pulling his hair brush through the wild mop that was his hair. Tavros scooted to the side a bit to avoid getting hit by his friend's bony elbow, tugging on his pants and running his fingers through the slight tangles in his own hair. Without buttong his pants just yet, he focused on working the gel into his hair to get his usual mowhawk to stay.
He and Gamzee switched spots effortlessly, with help from Karkat via shouting. Gamzee struggled into his own clothes, while Tavros brushed his teeth and washed his face.
"Enough primping." Karkat threw the door open just as Gamzee managed to fasten his jeans and Tavros was wiping the soap off of his face. Vantas grabbed a hold of both of them and dragged them out into the spacious attic; he paused long enough for them to grab their phones and anything else they would need for the competition before pulling them down the stairs to the main hallway, where Nepeta was pressed against the wall.
"You ruined my surprise, Karkitty!" She admonished playfully, handing Gamzee several pills and a tall glass of water; Karkat kept them movong as Makara swallowed them dry, spilling water all over the floor in the process. Karkat snarled, but Nepeta ignored him in favor of latching onto Tavros. "Morning! Ready for the tests?"
"Probably more than last night." He answered truthfully. Karkat didn't slow ahead of them, but there was a straightening of his back and shoulders that made him seem a bit proud of himself. Nepeta seemed to notice it; she looked curiously between the two, though she didn't comment on it until they'd gotten into the car; Kurloz and Moulin were in the front seat, and her mother leaned around the passenger seat to wave happily at them.
Almost instantly, Nepeta drew her into a passionate conversation, which ended up lasting the whole two hours to the college. With nothing better to do, Tavros followed Gamzee and Karkat's example by taking a Science packet and skimming through it yet again.