The First, Second and Forty-Eighth Wedding Plan

by eloquentfever

CURRENTLY WORKING ON: Semi-sequel to The First, Second and Forty-Eight Diet. Kurt and Sebastian's relationship is growing—and they are getting married. 47 times that Kurt and Sebastian abuse the idea of marriage and the day they get married. Kurtbastian. All dialogue. Caution: DRY, OFFENSIVE HUMOUR - includes stereotypes and can be crude and offensive depending on who you are.

20. Bad Kitty – Part 2

Chapter 20

Bad Kitty – Part 2

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"Sebastian, why are you still in that stupid cat costume? Did practically having your pulmonary circuit stop last time tell you nothing about how bad it is to wear a suit that constrains that many blood vessels?"

"But it makes my ass look good."

"Sebastian, have I ever worn pants that have killed me and squeezed the life out of me when I was wearing them just because they make my ass look good?"

"Are you kidding? You're doing it now."

"No, I'm not!"

"Seriously, Hummel?"

"Okay, okay. I sort of am, but I have to admit. These jeans make me have more bounce than usual. However, I do not feel like I am dying when I am wearing them. Sebastian, don't make me try to take that thing off again. I did not even think you meant it when you said the zipper was actually in that region."

"I told you about three hundred times in two hours, Hummel, and you wouldn't believe me. And when you cut that zipper into the skin of my…"

"I know, I know. I'm sorry for harming the most precious part of you."

"Now, let's do this the right way. Let kitty have his warm, yummy milk."

"I cannot. I'm busy. I'm going to have to go to a meeting with your father nonetheless in about five minutes. See you afterwards."

-Later on in restaurant-

"So, these are the approximated wedding expenses?"

"Yes."

"You do realise that this is enough to pay for a house?"

"Yes, Mr Smythe. I am fairly aware."

"Good. Good. At least I know you're going to overindulge that son of mine. Nathalie won't have it any less than a certain amount…Kurt? You're looking flustered?"

"It's nothing…"

"Are you sure, Kurt?"

"Yes."

-Kurt whispering- "Sebastian, of all the places in the universe that 'kitty' can drink 'milk'…"

"Did you say something about a job, Kurt?"

"No? Mr Smythe, are you taking your medication?"

"Have you, Kurt? You look…er…rather in a tense situation right now."

"I'll calm quickly; comes with the initial…er…release when a certain type of wine is tasted."

"Alright? I have no idea what you're talking about Kurt."

"Neither do I, Mr Smythe."

"…Kurt?"

"…Er…uh…um…oh…"

"…Kurt? What's wrong? Cat got your tongue?"