Don't tell anyone this but I am writing Fanfiction while I should be reading my political science book. Shhh….
Yay! We are over 100 reviews. This calls for a happy dance! *happily dances around the room*. WOOOOOOOO! Okay I would like to thank my 100th reviewer total drama rocks my socks off. I couldn't PM you so here is your virtual hug *hug*: D.
Also to the reviewer who had been the 101st reviewer Cottontop, you rock dude! I know I already gave you a virtual hug so here's a virtual banana *hands over banana* I'm pretty sure it's ripe. : D
And last but certainly not least to the reviewers who review and read no matter what (even if they are not logged in) izzi08, TDI Charlie Brown, Aura Master Fox, and DemiGodLover. You guys rock. And also to Kunnaki and TaraFlan99 for PM-ing me and being just as awesome. *blows virtual kisses*
And of course to the hundreds (hopefully) of readers who read this story without reviewing (and I know you exist) but they are equally awesome.
Oh, yeah, and my poll is done. I am officially a Ravenclaw (aren't I smarticle?). Though it made me laugh because three of you clicked on the option "I don't care Jacky, just keep writing the stories." I cracked up when I saw that.
Speaking of which you'll want me to get back to the story. Enjoy!
Disclaimer: I do not own Total Drama Aftermath Show, nor the cast. I do however own a computer which is how you are able to view this episode.
Total Drama After Math Show- Episode 2
"Ladies and gentlemen welcome to the Total Drama After Math Show!"
Theme Song
"Staring Beth…. Cody!" (A/N: I don't exactly feel like doing all the descriptions all over again, so I'll just do the newest ones) Cody waves at the camera but then he is tackle-hugged by Sierra.
"Courtney... DJ…. Ezekiel…. Eva…. Geoff…. Jenna!"Jenna is making monkey noises, she sees the camera and hugs it, showing off her ample chest.
"Harold…. Katie and Sadie…. Justin…. Lindsey…. Tyler…. And Sierra!" Sierra is squeezing Cody until he turns blue.
"Featuring Trent and Leshawna!" Video backstage of Trent playing his guitar and Leshawna having a seizure… no wait she's dancing.
"And your hosts Alexandra Hart and Yami Long!" The lights come up on the After Math stage where the hosts, Lexy (A/N: she seemed more like a Lexy, I'll shut up now) and Long (and Kitsune) are already seated on the couch. Long has Kitsune around his neck, and Lexy is holding pom-poms.
"Hello people who watch TV!" She greets smiling brightly. "Welcome to the Total Drama After Math Show! Isn't this exciting Long?"
Long just gives her a look then goes back to scratching Kitsune behind the ears.
"Okay. Before we get to the show, do you guys want to see the cheer I made up?"
"This ought to be good." Eva whispers to Harold.
"Ooh one time, I was in the monkey habitat at the zoo and they had all accidentally had laxatives for lunch and then we saw a bunch of cheerleaders and so we started flinging-" DJ clamps a hand over Jenna's mouth but she just keeps talking.
"I swear it's like having the jungle version of Izzy here." Katie says rolling her eyes.
"AHEM!" Lexy clears her throat really loudly. The old cast members shut up quickly, they've spent a week with Lexy and had started to become very frightened at her outbursts.
Lexy smiles again. "Okay. Here it is!" She gets into a stance with her feet part, hands behind her back and head down.
Lexy's head whips up and her smile is inhumanly wide. "Ready, okay!" She claps her hands (still holding the pom-poms) together.
"Welcome, welcome, welcome, to the After Math Show!
It's gonna be a lot of fun if you wanted to know!
We got two awesome hosts, me Lexy and Long!
Just hope I won't bend over so he can see my thong!"
"Wait, what did she say?" Cody asks, suddenly intrigued as Lexy jumps into the air. Long looks shocked.
"Yeah! We also got some guests, and some past cast stars!
Why don't you stick around and you'll see who they are!
"Oh no she's not gonna-" But Eva can't finish the sentence since Lexy's already shouting out the next part of the cheer.
"Blainley, Blainley, she's such a bitch,
Compared to nice girls, she's a mean old witch!
And my girl Beth, she's ok i guess,
But I'm sorry, I'm not like Lindsay, I won't be your BFF!"
"Uh, but I-" Beth is cut off by Lexy.
"Courtney, Courtney, is a CIT,
But, if i threw her out of the show, she would probably sue me!"
"EXCUSE ME!" Courtney shouts. Lexy ignores her.
"DJ, DJ, he's his momma's boy,
But if you ask me, he's a bag of joy!"
DJ sniffs, "Mama." He whimpers a tear coming to his eye.
"Zeke, he scared me, since season one,
And when he turned rabid, that wasn't fun!"
Ezekiel is too busy picking his nose to notice Lexy's cheer.
"Eva, Eva, the muscly gal,
I wonder deep down, if she'd make a good pal."
Eva shudders at the thought of being "pals" with Lexy.
"Geoff, oh Geoff, he makes me drool,
if you counted it up, it would make a swimming pool!"
Lexy blushes as she says this but smiles and continues.
"Harold, Harold, is kinda a nerd,
But the people who insult him, you're just up surd!"
"I know, GOSH!" Harold the nerd says.
"Justin, guy who thinks he know it all,
But even if you did, you still wouldn't win them all!"
"I disagree with that." Justin says flashing a grin at the camera.
"Katie and Sadie, are ok to me,
But if i hear: EEEE, one more time, then I'll go crazy."
Katie and Sadie are too busy, EEE-ing at Justin's smile.
"Lindsay, Lindsay, she might have no brains,
But she still does good, in the Total Drama games."
"Aw, thanks Leah." Lindsay says.
"Sierra, oh man, she stalks Cody,
But if i liked him, i guess, it would've been me!"
Cody doesn't exactly look happy at this prospect, and neither does Sierra.
"And Tyler, dude, you can't do sports,
But, hey, dude at least you're not a dork!"
"Hey, I take offense to that." Tyler says.
"Oh so you are a dork?" Courtney asks.
"Yes!" Tyler says looking proud. The past contests snicker.
"And Jenna, your craziness scares me,
I feel sorry for the person who has your baby!"
"Um technically that's not possible." Harold says.
"Yeah but girls are so hot." Jenna says. Katie and Sadie who are the closest to her, slowly inch away from the jungle girl.
"And Cody, stop being such a pervert,
And Sierra stalks you, you might just deserve it!"
Cody's eyes grow wide and Sierra squeezes him tighter.
"Chris, you're a tool you're still in diapers,
Also, don't forgot: Your baby clean wipers."
Everyone laughs at this and almost misses Lexy's next part.
"And finally, Chef, he's a cool guy,
He fought in the war, instead of resting by!
And there you have it folks, my brand new cheer,
I hoped you liked it, i was working on it for a whole year!"
Lexy crouches then jumps up. "GOOOOOOO TOTAL DRAMA!"
She looks up at the past contestants, who all look unsure how to react to Lexy's strange cheer.
"So, did you like it?" Lexy asks.
"Uhhhhhhhh…."
"That was…."
"A bit…."
"And…."
"Monkeys are awesome."
Lexy pouts. "So you didn't like it?"
"Well…."
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DIDN'T ****** LIKE IT!" Lexy screamed at them. Immediately the past cast mates cowered in terror. "YOU ALL ARE UNGRATEFUL LITTLE MOTHER*******!"
"I would never do that to my mom!" Tyler shouts. "Well, Sadie's mom on the other hand…."
"Hey, watch it Mister!" Sadie yells at him.
"Geez it's not my fault she has a nice ass." Tyler says. Wrong thing to say. Sadie and Katie pounce on him start to girl-fight him.
"EXCUSE ME I AM ANGRY HERE!" Lexy yells. "NONE OF YOU UNAPPRECIATIVE ****** HAVE A RIGHT TO GET ANGRY!"
"Lexy calm-"
"I WILL NOT CALM DOWN DJ! GRRR…. I JUST WANT TO… TO… to…." Lexy slumps backward, Long catches her. He is holding a needle.
"Sorry that was necessary." He whispers to her. He looks at the camera. "We'll be right back. As soon as we get Lexy calmed down."
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News Flash!
A blonde-haired reporter appears on the screen behind a desk, looking oh-so-official.
"This just in the heat wave is closing in on Canada will be starting tomorrow at around seven a.m. and ending at two p.m. the next day. Citizens are advised to stay inside with the air conditioners on. Though if you are trapped on an island I seriously doubt you would be able to do so. And now back to your regularly scheduled programming."
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"Hi everyone welcome back!" Lexy happily greets the camera. "Sorry for the freak-out earlier, I keep forgetting to take my medication. Haha."
"Believe it or not it wasn't as bad as yesterday's." Long says quietly.
"Thanks Long. Anyway, to start off this episode we're going to go to our past cast audience and question them even further about their private lives."
"What else is there to know? Our lives have already been opened enough to the public." Courtney says.
"Except for Jenna's, and I don't think any of us want to know more about her." Cody says as Jenna scratches her armpits.
"Why don't we find out more about you two?" Beth suggests. The rest of the past cast murmurs in agreement
Lexy shrugs, "I don't have a problem with it. What about you?" Everyone turns to stare at Long. He shakes his head.
"I'll say something, but most I would prefer to keep private." He says.
Beth nods. "Okay, we can respect that. Go ahead Lexy."
"Okay! I'm Lexy. My full name is Alexandra Dancy Hart. Well I have a big family cause my mom and dad our divorced but my mom remarried and my dad has a gay boyfriend. I have a little sister named Kimberly, who is probably watching this show right now cause she loves it. I'm a popular cheerleader at my school and I'm a gymnast. You guys already know that I'm bi-polar and I hate bugs. I like cheerleading, tennis, music, sports, being active, and having fun. I'm also currently single." Lexy winks at the camera. "Just in case you wanted to know."
Long raises his eyebrow. This is exactly the kind of girl he hates. Why did Chris make them co-hosts?
"Your turn Long." Lexy's voice shakes Long from his thoughts.
"Uh, what do you want to know? He asks.
"Well just start with the basics. Like nicknames, family, friends, basic life." Sierra suggests.
"Okay I'm Yami Long. Most just call me Long or Dragon. I don't have any family or friends besides Kitsune here." Kitsune crawls onto Long's lap and rubs his hand. "I live in Queens in an apartment complex called Paradise. It's anything but. I'm narcoleptic, which means I fall asleep at odd times. And that's about it."
"Aw, c'mon there must be more than that." Lexy says. Long gives her a hard look.
"No. There really isn't." But everyone can tell Long is lying.
"Well it's a start at least." Lexy says. "If you could talk that much off camera, maybe you'd find you'd have stuff in common with us.
Long snorts without meaning to.
Lexy's eyes narrow at him. "What do you mean by that?"
"Nothing, it's just, no offense Lexy, but we're complete opposites."
"That doesn't mean we can't talk or actually be civil to each other. You barely talk to me outside the show. In fact you avoid me." Lexy says.
"I just don't have much to say."
Lexy's eyes darken with anger. "Or maybe it's just you think you're too superior to me."
Long looks surprised. "I never said that-"
"Why don't you bring us to the next commercial break Long? I'll be in my dressing room." Lexy stands up and walks off the set.
Long blinks and turns to the past cast. "Um, I guess she had another fit."
Sadie shakes her head. "No she didn't you upset her."
"How did I upset her? It's true. I normally hate girls like that. Why should Lexy be any different?" Long says, unaware of the damage he's caused.
The girls, including Eva and Jenna, gasp and stare angrily at him.
"What a jerk." Katie says.
"The nerve of this guy." Eva tells Courtney.
"My monkeys wouldn't like him very much."
"Sexist hater."
"Jerk."
"Pig." All as one, the girls stand up and march off the set.
DJ sighs. "C'mon guys we better go comfort them." The guys leave as well, leaving Long alone with a caged up Ezekiel.
"What did I say?" Long asks himself.
"Don't look at me, eh. I don't get girls." Ezekiel says still picking his nose.
Long groans and slumps backward into the couch. "We'll be right back." He says closing his eyes. Kitsune crawls up onto his shoulder and licks his face, comforting her friend.
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The scene of a college dorm room comes into view. At one of the desks a young woman with caramel colored hair and blue-grey eyes types on her laptop. Her books lay forgotten on her bed and she seems to be looking at pictures of her and her boyfriend on Facebook. She sees the camera and gives a gasp and falls out of her chair.
The camera crew chuckles but they seem used to this greeting. She sits up off the floor and groans.
"Aw, damn is this today. I completely forgot." She says standing up and sitting back down into the chair.
"Let's just get it over with Dupree." The woman rolls her eyes.
"Fine. What's my first line again?"
"Hello."
"Hello." She repeats looking into the camera. "And?"
"My name is Jacky Dupree."
"My name is Jacky Dupr- can I just read off some cards or something?"
"No, you should know these lines by now. Chris sent them to you in an e-mail two weeks ago."
"Since when do I listen to what that narcissist says?"
"Careful Jacky."
"All right, all right. Hold on." The woman, Jacky, types on her computer more and logs into her email.
"Okay, I'm ready." Jacky looks at the computer screen and back at the camera.
"Hello! My name is Jacky Dupree. I am one of the writers for the hit TV show Total Drama Fans vs. Favorites. Er, really the only writer since the rest are on strike and I'm technically not getting paid."
"Jacky…." The director seems to be losing his patience.
"Fine." Jacky looks at the computer screen. "Have you ever wanted to get in on the action and drama? Well now you can. Simply text the words "Expendable Intern" too (A/N: You really think I'm gonna put a real phone number up) and you'll immediately have and interview with the handsome, charming, se- Sorry I can't say all those words without barfing. Anyway, just send the text and you'll get an interview with Chris McClain to become an intern on the next season of the Total Drama Series. It's as simple as that just text, talk, and you're hired! Applications are going out soon." Jacky looks at the camera. "Bye! And Chris next time I see you peeking into my mom's window I'm getting a restraining order, pervert. See ya!"
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"And we're back. Though Lexy isn't." Long says. Courtney scoffs.
"You must have really upset her. DJ went to calm her down and they've been gone for 15 minutes." Courtney stands up. "Well, the show must go on. I'll be your co-host until she comes back."
"There's no need-" But Courtney has already taken a seat on the couch next to Long.
"Okay, up next we are….." Courtney looks at Long. "What are we doing?"
"Um, yeah. We're interviewing the two campers most recently voted off. First is-"
"Leshawna! The girl who took what should have been my spot on the show. And she was voted off third!" Courtney must still be testy about the whole 'fans like Leshawna more than her' dilemma. "Why don't we take a look at Leshawna's time on the island?"
The screen above Courtney and Long's heads lights up and a clip package plays. Leshawna is shown arriving at the island in the middle of a cat-fight with Heather. She is shown making friends, chatting with her alliance, participating in challenges, showing her cheering when they win, spraying her perfume which causes the other campers to fall asleep. And finally showing her expression as she leaves on the Boat of Losers, shouting the words "Don't trust Greg!" to the other campers.
"And here she is Leshawna everyone!" Everyone cheers as Leshawna walks onto the set waving at the cameras.
"What's up homies?" She asks Courtney and Long and sits down on the guests couch.
"Hey Le-
"Hello Leshawna!" Courtney greets talking over Long. "So how does it feel to be the third voted off the show because personally I would be really upset but then again if I was on the show I wouldn't have been voted off third in the first place because I would have known-"
"Ahem." Lexy clears her throat and narrows her eyes at Courtney. "I think you're in my seat."
Courtney looks like she wants to argue but one look at Lexy and she's sees how angry she still is. "Fine. I'm just saying it would have been better if I was on the island."
"Yeah, we all agree." Lexy says sarcastically rolling her eyes. Courtney huffs at her. She stands and walks back to her seat.
Lexy sits down on the couch, making sure to leave plenty of space between her and Long. "Sorry about that Leshawna."
"It's okay girlfriend." Leshawna says. "We all know how Courtney can be."
"HEY!" Lexy, Long and Leshawna ignore Courtney.
"So Leshawna how are you?"
"I'm doing all right. I'm still a bit angry about getting voted off so unfairly."
"And ever after it was proven that you purposely used your perfume to make the other campers sleep, you still say that you're innocent."
Leshawna nods. "Of course. I didn't know there were sleeping pills in my perfume. If I hadn't broken my nose I would have been able to smell it. It was Greg that did it. He orchestrated this whole plan."
"I think that we have some clips that can shed some light on this case." Lexy says.
"That's great. The sooner this is all fixed, the happier I'll be."
"Okay. Roll the clip!"
The screen above the hosts' heads shows the clip package of Greg stealing the sleeping pills, swiping Leshawna's perfume and emptying the entire bottle of pills into it, then finally Heather placing the empty bottle of sleeping pills into Leshawna's luggage case.
"Did you see that?" Leshawna yells. "Those two totally cheated me."
"That's just unfair." Tyler says.
Harold jumps up out of his seat. "Leshawna my love! I'm so sorry I ever doubted you. Can you ever be able to forgive me?"
Leshawna rushes over and hugs him. "Of course I can sugar." They pucker up their lips.
"Okay!" Lexy says. "Before you two start making out, let's bring out our second guest. That guitar playing stud, Trent!"
The screen lights up again and shows the clip package of Trent's stay in the competition. He arrives on the island, is ignored by everyone, participates in challenges, pines after Gwen, leads the Screaming Turtles to… well almost victory and finally playing his guitar on the Boat of Losers as he sails away from the island.
"And here he is Trent!" Trent strides onto the stage waving at the past contestants and non-existent audience.
"Hey guys." He says sitting down on the guests' couch.
"Hi Trent!" Katie and Sadie say and start giggling.
"Welcome Trent. And can I say you're looking very good tonight" Lexy says winking at him. Long rolls his eyes and pets Kitsune.
"Thanks Lexy. You look good yourself." Trent responds. Lexy giggles and twirls a piece of her hair with her fingers.
"You're being silly." Long mutters to her.
"Since when did you care?" Lexy mutters back. "So, Trent. There's been some talk about Gwuncan possibly breaking up. What are your feelings on that?"
"To be honest Lexy, I really just don't care. Gwen's my friend and I want her to be happy. I just don't have an obsession anymore. Like Courtney."
"HEY, I do not have an obsession with those two-timing-boyfriend-kissing-unibrow-"
"We get it!" Lexy yells at her. "Trent, so this means that you're very single right now, right?"
"Uh yeah." Katie and Sadie start squealing.
Lexy smiles. "Okay last question. Do you mind playing us one of your songs?"
"What kind of a question was that?" Long asks. Lexy ignores him.
Trent smiles sadly. "I'd be more than happy to Lexy. But I sprained my index finger this morning." Trent holds up the finger which is strapped to a small splint.
"Awwww." Katie and Sadie moan.
"Does it hurt Trent?" Katie asks.
"Do you want me to kiss it Trent?" Sadie asks.
"Uh, no. If anyone's kissing Trent it will be me." Katie tells her.
"No it will be me." Sadie says.
"No me!"
"No me!"
"No me!"
"No me!"
"Me!"
"Me!"
"Me!"
"Me!"
"SHUT UP!" Eva, Courtney and Lexy all scream at the same time. Lexy turns back to Trent.
"Well that's too bad Trent. But we should be moving on anyway." Lexy turns toward the camera. "We'll be right back with a special surprise for the past cast. Stay tuned."
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Boat of Losers Camera:
Trent steps off the Boat of Losers and sighs. "Well, at least I can actually get some good food now." Trent walks off the dock and onto the island of Playa Del Losers, his guitar case in hand.
No one sees the dark shape that bursts from the shadows and onto the Boat. As the Boat turns away, the figure takes something of its head and throws it into the water. The Boat floats away and we get a glimpse of the object. A waste basket.
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"And… wait for it… we are back!" Lexy says cheerfully, however Long still looks mournful. "We are quickly running out of time so let's get on with the special event! Why don't you tell them about the special event… Long." Lexy says his name bitterly.
Long sighs. "Lexy I'm sorry."
"Fine I'll tell them. So guys, we're going to have a little competition. The two who win this competition will be featured in the next upcoming episode of Total Drama Fans vs. Favorites!"
"Really?" Lindsey asks, excited.
"Are we competing?" Beth asks.
"Nope."
"Then what are we doing?" Eva asks.
Lexy shrugs. "No idea. However only past contestants can compete. But we do have a special job for Cody, Trent, Jenna and Leshawna. Just follow Long and he'll tell you what to do." Long and his group walk off-stage and Lexy turns back to the past cast.
"Okay this challenge is resurrecting an old favorite. The Dodge-Brawl challenge. Me, Long, Jenna, Cody, Leshawna and Trent will throw the dodges balls and you will, well, dodge. You get hit you are out. Last one standing wins. If you catch the ball you can bring someone back. But I doubt you'll be able to.
"Come on down guys!" Lexy motions for the past cast mates to walk down to the stage. They slowly take their places unsure of what to do. Except for Ezekiel who is still locked in the cage.
"So, can we get you guys out?" Tyler asks.
"Possibly but I don't think you'd be able to. And these are the reason why!" The back curtain of the stage falls to show six machine guns that are loaded with dodge balls.
"Well good luck guys." Lexy runs over to hear respective machine gun. The past cast can't respond as they are all open-mouthed in shock.
"Okay are you ready?"
"NO!"
"Good! Ready, aim, DODGE BRAWL!" The six of them start to fire their machine guns. The past cast snaps out of their trance and starts to run.
Ironically (or not) the first person out is Harold.
"Sorry Harold baby!" Leshawna shouts to him then continues to fire.
The next three out are Lindsey, Justin and Sierra.
"Hey you're good at this!" Long shouts to Lexy after she got Justin in the face.
She grins. "Thanks! You're not bad yourself!" She says as Long gets Katie and Sadie out with one ball.
"I'm good at target practice!" He tells her.
"I keep missing!" Cody says trying to get Courtney out.
"Then aim for someone else!" Jenna shouts. She has apparently gone trigger-happy and gets Tyler out four times; in the head, chest, gut, and crotch.
Finally Trent gets a very P.O'd Eva out and there are only three contestants left.
"There are only three contestants left. DJ, Courtney and Beth! Who's gonna take home the title?" Beth gets hit by a dodge ball from Long.
"We have our winners!" Lexy and Long step down from there machine guns and walk over to DJ and Courtney.
"Congrats you guys!"
"Thanks Lexy." DJ says.
"I can't wait to get back there." Courtney says an evil grin growing on her face.
"And that's all folks! See you next time on the Total Drama After Math Show!"
I apologize for this suckish episode, I wasn't that inspired. Yeah, I couldn't think of another commercial.
DJ and Courtney got the second most amount of votes so it's obvious that they would win.
So, I've decided I will be updating this story every other week. I am so busy right now, and I don't want to give up. So in two weeks, it will be the beginning of the fifth episode.
Anyway, there's a new poll on my profile. "Which alliance is the best so far in the game?" So, vote! And review! And both! Love you guys!
-Jacky Dupree, Total Drama Writer, Potterhead, Hunger Games Roleplayer