Bella POV
To say that Jake was angry would be the biggest understatement of the year. He was practically fuming and I could swear that the car was shaking beneath us. He was not happy about the return of the Cullens, to say the least. As soon as Sam had finished his sentence, Jake nearly threw himself at him, begging him to fill in the blanks of the sudden mad lib situation. We didn't know why they were here, how many of the Cullen's were visiting, or what business they were attending to. It certainly didn't pertain to me, because last I heard, I wasn't wanted.
I felt more than awkward to ask Jake for a ride home. After the sudden intrusion, once again, Jake was in no mood to continue our little rendezvous. I couldn't say that I was in the mood either after the bomb had been dropped. What was I going to do?
Billy gave me a disapproving look when I wanted to go home and Sam stood stern and proper. Jake wouldn't even look at me; he knew that I wanted to speak to the Cullens and that drove him over the edge. It wasn't like I had another choice. My truck had died earlier that afternoon, there was no way it would be fixed enough for my to drive home in the rain. Charlie was at home or work and I was without transportation, therefore I was forced to ask Jake for a ride. I didn't want to look him in the eye because I knew what I would see—disappointment.
The car ride was dark and depressing. Jake sat far back in the driver's seat, his arms outstretched to reach the steering wheel, and grabbing it with more than average force. His knuckles were starting to turn white with the force of his grip. I wanted to grab his hand and tell him that it was all right, that things would work out. I couldn't muster up the nerve to do it.
This was so unlike him. Normally he would be cracking jokes and finding new ways to make me smile. Now, he wouldn't even turn his head in my direction. I hadn't even done anything yet, but he was still ignoring me like the plague. I wouldn't drop this though; I couldn't have him mad at me. I'm not quite sure what I would do without him.
"Bella, you can stop looking at me like that. It wont get you anywhere."
"I just don't understand why you are so mad at me. I haven't done anything."
"No of course you haven't, you just want to let the Cullens back into your life after everything that they have done to you!"
"I didn't say anything about them. I just want to find out what they want, same as you. They left, remember?"
"How could I forget? I pieced you back together after they left. You were in the worst shape I have ever seen. Bella, you couldn't even listen to music anymore, you barely spoke, you were having nightmares…they did that to you."
"I—"
"No, no, wait. They didn't do that to you, he did. That is why I am so angry, because you aren't going to go and find out what they want, you want to know what he wants. I am right, aren't I?"
"I don't even know if he is back. How can you be mad for something that hasn't happened?"
"Yet. I know you Bella and all these months you have been trying to get over him, you haven't been able to. He is here now and you are telling me that you don't want to go back to him?"
"I don't know." My voice was shaking and my whisper was weak in comparison to Jake's strong, rough voice.
" Have the last couple days meant anything to you? Have the past couple months meant anything? I thought you were finally starting to get over him, and maybe I was reading the signs incorrectly, but I thought you and I had something."
"We did, Jake, you are really important to me. Don't doubt that because the Cullens are back in town."
"I can't believe you! You still love him. You're going to let him back into your life after every thing he has done to you. It's ridiculous!"
This was the only time that I was afraid that we might veer off the road. We were already speeding and his anger issues were not making him a very good driver at the moment. If he were anyone else I might think that he would crash, but his concern for my safety told me that he wouldn't let that happen, no matter how mad at me he was.
Before I could look out the window to see where we were in our journey, the car had stopped across the street from my house. This was the moment that I had been waiting for, for over six months, while I wished that Edward would come back for me. I heard a door slam loudly as Jake removed himself from the car and stood before the hood. I took that as my cue to get out as well.
My hands were shaking and I was cold. There was nothing I needed more than for Jake to wrap me up in one of his amazingly warm hugs. Why did I have a feeling that I wasn't going to get one of those?
He was pacing before me, his hands nearly pulling out his hair. He only did that when he was really conflicted. He was avoiding eye contact with me and I hated it.
"Will you please look at me?" I pleaded.
When he did, I couldn't help feeling guilty for making him this upset. His voice was weaker and his expression had softened.
"These past couple days have been amazing. The kiss we shared was phenomenal and I know that if they weren't back, that we wouldn't be having this conversation. I know you felt something, you can't deny that. I really wish he wasn't here because I wish more than anything that things didn't need to change between us."
I moved forward so that I could reach out to him. He tried to pull away but I followed his steps, placing my hand gently on his forearm.
"Things don't have to change between us."
"How can they not? As long as the Cullens are here, things can't be the same. The pack will still watch for Victoria, but I cant protect you here. The treaty still stands." He shrugged off my arm, turning towards the door of his car. He continued without turning around, "Call me when you take him back, so that I know what to tell Sam. He will want to adjust the treaty now that they are going to stay."
There was no way I could miss the blunt difference between him saying 'if you take him back' and 'when you take him back'. My mind was more clouded than I ever thought it could be. At the moment I wasn't sure what I was going to do about this whole situation, but I knew that there was a huge possibility that I could forgive Edward. Could he see through me so easily? He had always been able to understand my innermost emotional trouble without me hinting to anything.
I had to work up my nerve to stop him from leaving. I knew that he would make a strong argument to leave even through my protests, but I was willing to make the effort.
"Jake, I think you are seriously overreacting. Just understand that I need to talk to them. Don't write me off until I find out what is going on."
He finally turned and looked at me head on. His eyes looked near to tears. The rest of his face and body were stiff and guarded, but his eyes couldn't lie, not to me.
"If he is really back, then there is nothing in this world that could keep you from him. No matter how hard I tried to get you to see me, I will never compare to him." He pulled me close to him and kissed me once on the forehead. With that, he turned and got into the Rabbit. He started the engine, and then peeked his head out the window.
"Have a good life, Bella. Let me know as soon as you and the bloodsucker makeup, so I can avoid this part of town."
And he was gone.
I stood like a statue in the driveway for a moment while I waited for Jake to miraculously turn around and apologize for his harsh words that I hated for conspiring between us. He didn't turn around and he didn't come back for me. I almost forgot the reason for needing to go home in the first place, until I looked at Carlisle's black Mercedes across the seat.
I fumbled with my keys, before remembering that Charlie was no doubt home. The light from the living room was on, but the curtains were drawn over the windows. I took one deep breath and let myself in. I could hear giggling and Charlie's deep throated laugh.
"Hello?" I asked, peeking from behind the front door to find the source of the all-to-familiar laugh.
I was shocked by what I saw. There, seated in the living room, were Charlie, Alice, and Jasper sipping coffee.
"Alice!" I squealed, nearly throwing myself at her. She was eager to meet me with a hug, wrapping her cold, skinny arms, tightly around me. She smelled just the same, sweet and floral. Jasper came up behind her and Alice and I separated. Without thinking I wrapped my arms around Jasper to give him a tight squeeze. He stood frozen, trying to analyze my movements. Realizing my stupidity, I pulled back immediately. "I'm sorry Jasper. I guess I was just really happy to see you both."
"It's alright Bella. No harm done here. I am glad to see you too."
"So what are you doing here?" I asked.
"Things didn't work out with Carlisle's job at Cedar Sinai in Los Angeles. Clallam County Hospital offered him his job back. Isn't that great?" Alice chirped.
"Of course." The look we shared told me that she would fill me in on the details when Charlie was not around. But in order to make that excuse more believable to mortals, Alice needed to crack a joke.
"It turns out that Carlisle was not a big fan of the sun. Did you know that the average rainfall per year is only 14 inches?"
"No way." I faked my shock. Her little joke about vampires hating the sunshine went unnoticed by Charlie, who rose from his seat politely and excused himself from the room.
"I'll give you three a moment to talk."
"Thanks dad."
"Yes, I would like to catch up with Bella. Thank you for the coffee Charlie, I missed your company."
"You too, Alice. Jasper." Charlie nodded to the both of them and went up to his room.
Charlie had always adored Alice, ever since spring break last year when she helped take care of me. Though never a big fan of Edward, my father made certain privileges available to his sister. Speaking of…
"So is Edward here?"
Alice led me to the couch so that we could sit together and talk. Jasper took the seat in the recliner across the way.
"Yes, Bella, Edward is here. He is off hunting. We came to see you once we got into town. Charlie told him that you were with Jacob and he figured he would wait until you came home to spring the news on you."
"What news?"
"Well, don't freak out, but we came back because I had some pretty interesting visions of Victoria. I'm not positive of what she is planning but I know that it's big. She's been gathering forces somewhere north."
"That's why the pack hasn't been catching her trail…" I whispered to myself.
"About that, Bella did you think it was a good idea to consort with werewolves? Honestly, what kind of trouble have you been getting yourself into while we were away?"
"I didn't know that he was a werewolf when we starting hanging out together. He is a really great guy, I promise, and he has been taking excellent care of me."
She sniffed a couple times around me. "I can tell."
"Really. Alice what are you all doing here? When Edward left he said that he didn't want me anymore."
"Bella don't you understand that he only said the things he did so that he could protect you?"
I sat in shock for a moment. What was she talking about? Hadn't Edward meant everything he said? I believed him that easily and he had been adamant about what he said. How could he have faked all those feelings? It never made sense for Edward to be in love with me. It only made sense for him to leave me.
"Look, I said I wouldn't say anything. Edward wants to explain himself so let's go back to the house. Esme is cooking dinner and she would be pleased to see you."
Esme wouldn't cook unless she knew there was a human joining them. I looked to the hallway where Charlie now stood. Good cover, Alice.
"Charlie would you like to join us? Esme is making pot roast. She really missed the big kitchen." Alice cheered.
"No thank you, Alice. I think I am going to turn in early tonight. Bella, can I speak to you alone in the kitchen. It will just take a moment."
Alice nodded, leaning forward to give me another hug. "We'll give you a minute. Jasper why don't we go and start up the car."
"I'll meet you outside." I agreed.
I stood to join my dad in the kitchen. He looked less than pleased with the whole situation.
"Bella are you sure about this?"
"I'm just going to dinner."
"I know. I just don't want you to get hurt again."
"I wont."
"You were in so much pain when they left and you were just starting to smile again with Jake. Do you want to throw that all away for a boy that might jet off again?"
"Look dad, I have heard all this from Jake. I need you both to trust me to make my own decisions." I kissed him on the cheek. "I love you dad. Don't wait up for me. I promise to call if I plan to be out too late."
"Be careful sweetheart." He patted me on the shoulder and turned to go back up to his room.
I made my way out the door to find Carlisle's car waiting for me. Alice was smiling in the driver's seat. Jasper politely got out of the passenger's seat to open the door for me. I gracefully sat down on the cold leather as Alice jetted us off in the direction of the Cullen's. I could have sworn I saw a pair of dark brown eyes through the trees behind my house, but maybe I was just imagining things.
***
The Cullen's house looked the exact same as I remembered from when it was inhabited. While they were gone, I had visited, but the house did not have the same glow. It wasn't the same home without the people inside it that made it great.
The light from the windows reflected onto the driveway. I could see through the wide glass that the whole family was in the living room. I exited the car very cautiously, but Alice would have none of it. She was by my side in a flash, wrapping her arm around mine and pulling me up the stairs and through the door.
"Bella!" I heard three voices all chime at once. Esme, Carlisle, and Emmett—big, silly Emmett.
Esme was first to approach me. She looked the same as I remember, but why wouldn't she? She would never age or change, always staying the same beautiful, young, mother. Her thick brown hair and graceful smile made me feel so comfortable. She adapted her role as a mother so easily after losing her own child. I knew that even though she didn't have children of her own, that she was a great mother; it was almost as if she were made for the job.
I felt her arms wrap around me in a soft hug, despite her rock-hard limbs. "Esme, I've missed you."
"It's so good to have you here. I've made dinner if you're hungry. Pot roast with potatoes." She smiled, coaxing me with her delicious food.
"That sounds lovely."
"Carlisle!" I smiled as he came up behind his wife. She stepped back so that he could embrace me as well. He still smelled of antiseptic from a hospital. The scarf around his neck tickled my chin as he pulled out of our hug.
"Bella, it is so nice to see you. How have you been?"
"Fine. How are you?" Sure I was lying a bit. If they had known how I was when they were gone, I know it would have raised particular grievances.
"Very well."
Carlisle was kindly pushed out of the way so that Emmett could slide right in and pull me up into a bone-crushing hug.
"Hi Emmett." I managed to make out between being twirled around. When he put me back on the ground I was dizzy. I nearly lost my balance until two strong, but watchful arms caught me and held me upright.
"Edward."
"Hello, Bella." He spoke eloquently. I took in his appearance after nearly eight months without seeing him, and it was like the sun after a long and cold Alaskan winter. But, he wasn't the sun, he was far from it. He was the moon, white, cold, and rock-like in the best of ways.
My chest was pulsing, for my heart couldn't take the sudden beating it was taking. My heart was fluttering and trying to make up for all the holes that had been riddled through it. The pain I felt from missing him was not gone, but at the moment I couldn't feel any sort of pain. There were no doubt scars, but Edward was holding me together right now.
"If you would like to sit down and eat, we can explain everything." Carlisle offered.
"Yes, thank you."
Edward removed his hands from my back, letting me balance on my own and he headed into the kitchen without looking directly at me. He was keeping something from me.
I was lead, with a group, into the kitchen. Esme dished up a plate of pot roast and herb potatoes, set it in front of me, and watched me enjoy it. I was a gerbil in a cage, with seven pairs of interested eyes—actually only five pairs because Rosalie couldn't care less, and Edward seemed to be avoiding me.
"It's amazing, Esme, thank you."
"No trouble at all. Cooking is a delight, something I have really missed doing."
I nibbled on a wedge of potato while we sat in complete silence. I decided that since no one else would, that I needed to break the silence.
"So can someone explain what all this Victoria business if about?"
"Yes, of course. Alice, would you care to describe your vision?" Carlisle delegated, while placing a hand on Esme's back.
"Well Bella I was sitting in New Hampshire when I got the vision that we had all been waiting for. I saw Victoria and then flashes of different newborns. They were hungry—I could tell by their eyes. She looks as though she is building up forces in the north and she is planning something really big. I can't tell when she is thinking about making a hit, but it will be a major hit on you. I knew that as soon as I saw this that I needed to gather the family and come to see you. Bella, I don't want to scare you, but she is really dangerous and with these newborns she could do serious damage."
I sipped my milk while I digested what Alice had just said.
"We talked about this and we decided that the best way to solve this is to face it head on. We want to make sure that Victoria doesn't get to you and get rid of her before she causes more damage." Carlisle added.
"But I didn't think that you—"
"Bella, would you like to take a walk with me?" These were the first real words that he had spoken to me. If I was going to get anywhere, I needed to get some answers.
"Um, sure, but I don't see why—"
"Bella, please. I will explain everything." I couldn't say no to him, especially when he looked deep into my eyes like he was. The gold from his irises were melting me from the inside out. For a moment, I couldn't remember why I sad in the first place.
I nodded and took his hand. His family left us to speak alone, ghostly making their way into the living room while Edward led me outside. His hand was cold and wonderful, just how I remembered it, but the ominous walk through the forest only reminded me of less happy memories.
"Bella, I have wanted more than anything to explain to you the reasons why I did what I did. I should have never left you in the first place. I only left because I thought I was keeping you safe. I was putting your life in danger and I though that if I left, I could keep you safe."
"But you said you didn't love me. You said that I wasn't worth sticking around for."
"I lied. I needed you to believe me so that you could move on. I wanted you to find a normal relationship, one that didn't jeopardize your life. You needed someone who could make you happy."
"But, you said you didn't want me. You said you would be easily distracted."
"I needed to make you think that. You believed me so easily and I hate that you had so little faith in us, in what we had together. Do you understand how much I love you? My feelings for you never faded in the least. I almost lost myself while I was away. I wanted so many times to come back to Forks and see you. In the end I decided against it, figuring that you would not get a fair chance at finding happiness if you knew I was here."
"Edward, I thought that you were never coming back. To be honest I spent months wishing that you would come back and whisk me off of my feet. I never stopped loving you."
He stopped us from moving any further and turned to face me. He stroked his thumb over the tops of my hands and brought my eyes up to meet his.
"Can you ever forgive me? I know that I hurt you, but I cant live without you any longer, Bella. I need you in my life and without you I couldn't think straight. As soon as I heard about Victoria I tried tracking her down. I never thought she would come after you. I was beside myself with worry. That is why I needed to come back. I don't ever want to be without you again. I understand fully if you have moved on. I will go away and never bother you if you are happier without me, but if you can find it in yourself to pardon me then I will forever be by your side."
I couldn't think straight. So much information in so little time was making me weak in the knees. He still loved me and he left to protect me? He wanted to stay and be with me forever. This was what I had wanted ever since I met him, and when he left I couldn't manage to picture his eyes without crying. Was this all meant to be?
Without thinking I leaned forward and pressed my lips delicately to his. He wasted no time in returning the kiss, staying a gentleman and ending it shortly after it began. It was chaste and polite, just like Edward. I loved it just as much as I had before he left.
"Can you forgive me?"
"Yes." I whispered, only half sure of my answer. He kissed me once more, a little longer than before and my doubts were clear. I wanted him and there was no way I would let him go back to wherever he flew in from. He pulled me into a hug and I could smell his delicate scent that had drawn me in our first day of biology.
"Come, Esme has prepared dessert for you as well."
I smiled and took his hand, following him back to the house. I was more than happy that I was with Edward, the love of my life. I had gotten back the thing that I wanted most in my life, the same thing I was pining over since September.
The only thing I could manage to think about, amidst my newfound comfort was what am I going to tell Jake?
A/N: I have the outline for the next two chapters and I will try my hardest to get those up in a couple days. Happy holidays to everyone (and Merry Christmas Eve to those who celebrate it). I understand if you hate me and/or Bella at the moment, maybe Edward too. Its understandable. I know the Bella and Edward chat was a little short and non-descriptive but I couldnt bring myself to write more when all I really wanted was for her to slap him and walk away...I have a plan and Jake needs some love. In a perfect world I would be the girl to give it to him, but sadly I cant. Things will get complicated and steamy and dramatic so watch out for updates very soon in the future. Love you. xoxo Noel Alexa.