a/n: Right. It's been a long time again and I apologize, but I was in the hospital so things have been delayed... But good news! It's almost the end. One more chapter after this, I should think... As always don't forget to review, okies?

Disclaimer: Things get damaged, things get broken...

Exchange
Chapter 20: Ruins

She stared at herself in the mirror, unable to comprehend what she saw. She was glowing. It wasn't like her. She'd never even so much as lit a spark beneath her eyes for men who thought they were in love with her.

But she couldn't deny what she saw.

Megumi and Misao were going to have a field day. She clapped her hands to her cheeks, hoping it would fade a little bit. She pulled them away after a few moments, but it was still there. Right where she didn't want it to be.

This situation was getting more and more dangerous for her every second. It was supposed to be amusing to her. A game, if you will. But it wasn't. She wasn't having fun. Instead she was falling head over feet for him… But she refused to admit it.

Megumi had to know. She knew almost everything when it came to love…

She rested a hand lovingly against the tap and began to fill the tub. They were her lifeline to her people. She was ashamed of how she'd behaved in the past few days. She'd let her people fade from her mind while he worked his magic on her. She couldn't let it happen again. Her people meant everything to her.

She started to chant softly under her breath. With any hope Megumi would be the only one there. Misao had a teasing streak when she didn't need it. She was in a bind and she needed to talk to someone who'd been in a situation similar to this.

The water started to fizz and cloud with it's attempt to connect her at her request. She waited a few moments with her breath held. It would not be impossible to think that Aoshi had sealed off the mirror for the safety of the others.

Finally the cloud over the water dissipated and she released her breath as Megumi's face appeared. She lived at the mirror, it seemed.

"Kaoru," she breathed, relief filling her soft alto.

She licked her lips. "I need help, Megumi."

Worry began to rise in her dark eyes. "What happened? Talk to me."

"I… We had sex. And…"

"You enjoyed it too, I would say. Kaoru you are in love!" she exclaimed happily.

"I am not! I'm not in love with him," she assured, eyes narrowing.

"You are lying, too! Look at yourself. You are glowing and don't say you didn't notice," Megumi accused, a smile blossoming on her face.

"No… I did, but… Megumi… This is hopeless! I've no way to save you now!" she wailed collapsing on the floor, closing her eyes.

She'd never had any kind of break down before. She'd always been carefully in control. Always that icy grip of control. She hid behind her aloofness. It was a weapon she needed. A weapon she cherished.

And now it was falling to pieces before her very eyes.

"Kaoru," Megumi said softly. "It doesn't matter."

Her eyes flew open and she clung to the edge of the tub. "It does matter! I am doing this for all of you! My people!"

Megumi shook her head. "Oh Kaoru… Don't you see? They are not as important as you think. We are happy for you… We have wanted you to find happiness for so long…"

"I am not happy here! I will be happy when he fulfills his end of the exchange!" she insisted. "Help me, Megumi…"

Megumi sighed before casting tired eyes on her. "I cannot help you if you won't help yourself, Kaoru. You have to accept your situation before I can help you."

She let out a pained whimper. "I'm not happy with him."

She was lying now and she knew it. Adamantly refusing the reality. She smiled more when she was with him than when she was with her people. Megumi was telling her the truth. She was trying to help her as best she could, but she couldn't maker her accept what she didn't want to believe.

"It's all Hiko's fault."

"Kaoru. Hiko didn't make you fall in love with him. He told you to pretend. You just pretended to well," she told her. "I know you don't like it, but you do love him. I can tell." She winked and smiled brightly. "Look at it this way. You can always mate him and drag him down here."

Kaoru exhaled a watery laugh. "Yeah… Right. That'd be like eating nails with him… He'd never leave here, even if it is killing his nature slowly…"

"One has to try before they give up, ne?"

She closed her eyes and smiled serenely. "Yes. I… You are right, Megumi."

"About what?"

"I am in love with Himura Kenshin…."

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Kenshin was floating around the living room. A smile was permanently glued on his face. He couldn't scowl even if he wanted to. She loved him. And he loved her. Everything was perfect. He laid back against the couch and closed his eyes.

She was in the shower and he debated going to join her. A pleasant idea indeed. A laugh swelled in his throat and he sat up. He would surprise her. He could hear the shower running and hoped that she had only just gotten in.

He slid the door open easily and stepped into the steaming room. The mirror was clouded over and he grinned. He shed his clothes quickly and opened the shower door.

She screamed.

"What do you think you're doing?!" she demanded.

He laughed. "Showering with the woman I love," he answered simply.

Any protest she might have made died on her tongue. She grabbed him by the hair and pulled him into the shower with her.

"You're too sweet for your own good, you know that?" she whispered before kissing him softly.

She wouldn't deny it anymore. Megumi was right. She had never been truly happy in all her existence. And that was a long time.

His hands gripped her waist and she smiled against his mouth. Megumi knew what it was like to lose something precious. Kaoru didn't want to share that with her. She was sick of lying to herself. She had everything she wanted in her arms.

"I love you," he whispered as he held her tight against him.

Like she said…

"I love you, too," she answered, dropping her head to his shoulder.

…everything she wanted.

-----------------------

Hiko stared at the girl in front of him and tried to contain his laughter. She'd done it. And she wasn't acting. At least not anymore. She was truly happy this time.

"Well done," he congratulated her. "You did a good job."

She sighed. "I completely failed my people," she muttered.

"No. You didn't. I will uphold his end of the exchange," he told her.

She gaped. "Hiko…"

"Kaoru, you did what I asked you to do. I owe you," he assured her as she opened and closed her mouth like a fish.

"But-"

"But nothing. I asked the impossible of you. I asked you to save him of all people. That can't have been easy."

"It wasn't."

"And most of all I asked you to pretend you loved him. Pretend you cared about him. You did wonderfully," he praised. A rare occurrence.

"Hiko."

He shook his head. "You were amazing. He fell for it hook, line, and sinker."

"You know it's not an act anymore, right? You know that I fell too," she corrected him. "Rather against my will," she breathed after.

He chuckled. "You two should start a life together. Make him live where he's supposed to. It'll do him good."

"That's what Megumi told me," she replied softly.

"She was right. Now get out of my office," he barked, gesturing towards the door.

She sniffled. "So much for friendship. I can still kick your ass across this room, you know."

"Why else do you think I'm going to hold up his part of the exchange?"

"You're a gentleman," she responded, smirking.

He snorted. "Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now get out of here."

She smiled and waved before going to find Kenshin out in the bar. She frowned when she spotted him sitting a booth nursing a beer. She'd been clear that she'd only be a few minutes and then they could go out to dinner or something.

"Kenshin?"

"You lied," he hissed.

"What?" she asked, puzzled.

"You don't love me," he accused. "Why, Kaoru?"

"What are you talking about?" she demanded, sliding into the booth next to him and grasping his hand.

"Don't touch me! I know about your deal! With Hiko! I heard you talking about it with him!" he informed her angrily.

She dropped her eyes and sighed. "You're right."

He whimpered. "Why…?"

"You have to understand Kenshin, that's how it all started. But I'm not acting anymore! I really do love you!" she insisted, pulling his hand to her heart.

"I don't believe you, Kaoru."

She closed her eyes and fought back tears. "Why would I still be here if I didn't love you?! I want to have a life with you! I want to welcome you into my realm, I want you to believe me! I love you, Kenshin!"

"Kaoru…"

"Hiko wanted me to save you the way Tomoe couldn't and I agreed to do it. At first it was just a way to understand what Enishi was after, but then it backfired. I fell in love with you. I denied for a while, but … I can't lie to myself anymore," she admitted, tears streaming down her face. "I love you…"

He was silent as he watched the tears roll down her cheeks and puddle on the table.

"You have to believe me… I want a life with you… I want to bear your children… I want to wake up with you next to me…" she choked out each sentence as best she could. "Please…"

"I need time," he finally answered before getting up. "Then I'll decide if you're worth the effort."

She sobbed as he walked away. She ruined it. She'd never wanted anything more in her life. The only thing she desired was walking away from her. A part of her wanted to bury her head in her hands and cry her eyes out. But her pride wouldn't let her.

She would be damned if she was going to let him walk out on her after he'd captured her so completely.

She wasn't going to let him leave her. Not now. Not ever.

a/n: Don't forget to review!