That's What I Get
Just when everything was making sense.
You took away all my self-confidence.
That's what I get
How could you turn me into this?
After you just taught me how to kiss…you.
I told you I'd never say goodbye.
That's what I get.
For trusting you.
Why does it come as a surprise
To think that I was so naïve
Maybe didn't mean that much.
But it meant everything to me.
Everything had begun to make sense between Nnoitora and Neliel. She hardly admitted openly that she was in love with Nnoitora, and he had come to terms with his feelings. He personally did not think such feelings were becoming of a man like him, but he had realized there was nothing else he could do.
The thing that ruined him, and his self-confidence was Neliel, in the end, and the beginning. She had become the tricero espada, and he had been placed five ranks below her. She had turned him into a monster, seeking only to destroy everything above him so that he could be the strongest.
He found himself thinking that was his punishment for admitting to his love, even if it was only to himself.
He wished Neliel had never turned him into what he was. He couldn't understand it. How could she have?
Her hand cupped his face, and for the first time, his lips were drawn to another pair of lips…hers…He couldn't believe the explosive feeling of excitement as she slowly, gently taught him how to please her with a kiss. Neliel had taught him everything he wanted to know about a kiss, for he never intended to kiss anyone but her.
She had once told him, long ago, that she would never say goodbye—that she could never say goodbye. He scoffed at himself for trusting her. He knew her too well; he knew her lying ways.
The thing he could not fathom was how her would be betrayal was such a bombshell to him. He had been so naïve to trust her and he had not thought of the possible repercussions.
She had said maybe to him before. Not as often as yes or no, but it had passed through her lips. Maybe meant so much to him, despite the fact that it held so little value to Neliel.
Maybe was never a lie. Maybe was the promise that perhaps Neliel wouldn't take to lying again.
He cursed his naivety, and ended it by saying the goodbye that Neliel had promised never to say by way of blade hurtling through flesh and bone.
It was the perfect means to an end in Nnoitora's viewpoint.
His viewpoint had never meant much to Neliel.