Title: When No One Hears

Author: mintapotter

Overview: Draco finds Harry in the saddest of positions, and something inside him changes forever.

WARNING: SLASH and references to self harm & abuse. Guy/Guys! If you no likee, you no readee.

A/N: The dates in this story are July 5th (6th and 7th)

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Chapter 20 - Memories

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For days everyone in the house had nothing to do but look after themselves, tie up loose ends and get back into a semi-normal setting of life.

Harry spent the majority of his days with Draco, creating a barrier between him and the outside world. Acting as Draco's wall was draining enough however, so much that some days he felt like he needed his own.

"Just one more bite." Harry murmured at every meal with Draco, sitting with him for hours afterwards under the pretence of 'talking' or 'just wanted to play a game of chess'. They both knew that this was Harry's way of looking after Draco, his only outlet in feeling that Draco was in fact getting better.

"Draco, I have to warn you before you read this." He had warned before Draco snatched a copy of the Daily Prophet from him hands. The two huge pictures on the page were Draco, his Mother and Father at a family gathering nearly a year ago. The headline read 'Malfoy's Publicly Disown Son – Secrets and Story of the Year'. Below was an explanation on the disownment, the officiality of it and quotes from his parents. After that was a play by play analysis of Draco's interview with about his Father, continuing on pages 2,3 and 6. Draco dropped the copy after reading only the headline and cried. Harry was pretty sure that the tears didn't stop for 2 days, but his mind wasn't to be trusted too much anymore.

"It's not real, it is NOT real…" he would whisper to his own ears when he awoke suddenly in a cold sweat. Night filled his mind with nightmares of him committing terrible things, doing ghastly acts. Harry Crucio-ing people and laughing while doing it, killing unknowns and classmates with a smirk set in place. Burning the Place out of spite, cursing Ron or Hermione and sometimes even Draco for fun. His mind couldn't help but dwell on Minta's last words.

I'm capable of terrible things. I can commit terrible acts. I have the ability to become a truly evil person. Why me? Can I really, can I change? Am I already too far gone, when will I get there, if ever?

Harry didn't sleep well for days, his mind too preoccupied with terrors at night and Draco's depression and pain during the day. He nearly completely forgot about the inquiry about his Uncle until only hours before. It went much more orderly than Draco's had because the Veritaserum had no ill effects, and he put up no resistance to it. He told the story to a solitary Ministry official without any questions being asked, from beginning to end with no emotional outbursts or breakdowns. It was all over within an hour, and after that he felt like he finally had everything out in the open. Truth was that he was sick of dealing with the entire thing, sick of re-telling the story, of remembering everything that had to do with the Dursleys… he just wanted everything to end, to get back to his holidays.

"I don't want to speak to you." He had told Dumbledore after the inquiry, walking calmly away and hiding in his room with Ron, passing the time until he left by losing abysmally at Wizards chess numerous times. As soon as Dumbledore left however all Harry could think of was how he wished he had told the old man exactly what was on his mind, why he staunchly refused him as company.

How can I ever fully trust him again after putting us all in danger like that? How can i live in this place, at Hogwarts, anywhere if I can't even trust him? How can trust anyone with my life when I can't even trust him?

"Thanks for the invite but watching paint dry would seem much more interesting." He had told Ron and Hermione on the third day after Minta's departure. They were always off working on some school project or another, Hermione coaxing Ron at meals that the extra marks were worth the effort, which it would all pay out in the end. He grumbled a lot, shooting me looks of 'save me' but he had enough on my plate as it was and he knew that enjoyed being with her, even if neither of them had enough guts to ask the other out.

"Promise you won't secretly try anything on us, alright?" He told Fred and George every time they emerged from their bedroom with evil grins planted on their faces. They were constantly huddled in their upstairs room, creating new concoctions for their shop. It was going amazingly well, creating huge profits that they spent and saved wisely. Some was just for fun spending, some went to projects for the Order, some saved for the future and some into new inventions. They were brilliant at what they did, and luckily Mrs. and Mr. Weasley had come to terms with their choice of employment.

Harry wasn't sleeping much, but Draco was slowly getting more and more. Harry wasn't eating like he should have while Draco was nearly at a normal level. Harry wasn't exactly happy with the state of his growing relationship but Ron and Hermione were happier than ever. Harry suffered little by little every day and night while everyone around him seemed to be gaining.

Is it sad that I consider these few days peaceful and happy in comparison to my last few weeks?

He shrugged and turned over to another night of restless sleep, to awake for another day of helping everyone but himself.

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"Harry?" Draco whispered softly in Harry's ear, shivers running up and down his back.

Mmm, maybe he likes that. Note to self: whisper in Harry's ear as often as possible.

"What is it?" Harry turned slowly away from staring vacantly out the front room window, his head cocked to the side and looking cuter than ever. The hours after every meal were time for just the two of them, a time Draco felt should be used more productively.

"How do you feel about some shopping soon? We've nothing much fruitful to do here, and I consider it relaxing. Plus I promised you I would take you a long time ago, seeing as you are in desperate need of some new glasses."

Harry smiled and shaked his head at that. "I actually am looking forward to it. You can rub some of your impeccable Malfoy style on me." Draco smiled and punched him lightly on the shoulder.

"Let's talk to Hermione and Ron about it, tell them we should all go school shopping together. Dumbledore will give us the list early and we can-" Harry gets up to ask Ron and Hermione, but Draco breaks in to complain.

"Don't ask them now! They're doing some really boring extra point project for school and if we walk in Hermione will just force us to do too! I like it here, just you and me for a while." Draco smiled sweetly at this, looking for one of the first times in his life embarrassed at his own words.

Why the fuck am I blushing? Why do the gods of blushing like a pathetic schoolgirl always rear their ugly heads when Harry's around?

"Funny, I was thinking the same thing…" Harry trailed off quietly, sitting next to Draco on the long red velvet couch. He trailed his fingers alongDraco's jawbone, taking a good look intohis stormy grey eyes before leaning in for a soft kiss.

Draco couldn't help but kiss back, then pulled himself away from the embrace.

"What if someone catches us? What if they walk in?" Harry eyed the door, making it magically swing closed with a satisfying click, the sound of the deadbolt in it locking.

"I'm sure they won't."

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"Won't what? You have to promise me Ron!" Hermione sat back on his bed, face flushed and shining. Their quills and parchment had been long forgotten on the floor, neglected after only a few quickly written sentences and many well places looks between the two.

"I won't tell Harry anything. At all. I promise. Now can we get back to…" he leaned into her again, his kisses making her giggle and pull away.

"You are the most desperate teenager ever Ron, do you know that? I could get you to do anything to just be around me, couldn't I?"His laugh is low andunbearably sexy to Hermioneas continued his kissing adventure on her cheeks, nose, forehead and neck.

"I'd do anything for you just to be around you Hermione. I always will, that's something I can really promise." She blushed awkwardly, a genuine smile spreading across her lips.

"It's not that I want to hide us from him or anything just, within the house, with your family…" she paused to kiss his back, pushing his red hair away from his eyes. "And he's been worried silly over Draco lately, so I just don't want him to worry or feel left out or anything. OK?"

"Absolutely. I get it Hermione, I get it. Now let me…" their lips meet again and this time Hermione doesn't giggle but nearly lets herself moan with the desperation of it all.

How is he so fabulously talented with that tongue? Every girl and boy I know would only be so lucky to spend a minute with him like this…

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"Harry, where did you learn to use that tongue of yours?" Draco grinned mischievously from ear to ear, his hair mussed from Harry's roaming hands.

"Not anywhere really. Just another of my amazing talents I suppose. Among being amazingly good looking and intelligent, as well." Draco laughed as Harry moved back up to him, his hands moving down from Draco's baby soft hair to his smooth skin, holding his neck and face close.

How is…

"… anything made so perfect?" he whispered out loud into Draco neck, turning his entire body toward him to be closer.

"What was that?" Draco mumbled back, slowly arcing his way to lying down on the couch with Harry lying almost completely on top of him, supported only by his knees and hands.

"I asked how is anything made so perfect'. One of many things I think about you daily and I guess I let it slip." His green eyes looked a little scared to Draco, like he expectedhim to laugh at him or mock his words. Draco only smiled more and whispered 'thank you' before pulling Harry back down onto his lips.

And soft, and smooth, and talented…

The kisses which started off soft and light enough quickly become more and more heated, little moans escaping both of them before they even know it. After days without any physical contact the entire experiencewas like an overload of happiness and overdue fulfillment.

Harry's weight hovered just barely above Draco now, he keeping up with his knees and elbows. His hands roamed about inDraco's hair, his face buried in Draco's.

"Mmm, and smell so delicious…" the velvety vanilla scent is always lingering on Draco, a smell Harry has come to love and ache for whenever Draco isn't around.

"Harry, stop for a second…" Draco mumbled into his sweater shoulder, the distance that was comfortable moments ago feeling claustrophobic in a heartbeat.

Harrysomehow missed his muffled voice, continuing to kiss his jaw and neck, wanting more and more. Draco fingers curledinto his palms, feeling trapped with nowhere to go.

"Your mother bought you this perfume today. I like this one, it suits you."

"It's perfect for you, for light and delicate and… heavenly…" Draco craned his neck away from Harry's touch and suddenly his mouth that was so good moments agowas distressing him, everywhere it shouldn't be.

"Father, tell Mother I like it and that I thank her whenever you see her next. Now I need to study, so if you could leave my room please..."

"I could think if much better things to do than to leave, considering your abysmal grades compared to that Mudblood girl again…"

"Stop it, Harry…" Draco barely squeaked out the words, Harrylost completely in Draco's soft skin, feeling it tighten beneath his fingers.

"Stop, stop, stop…" he whispered desperately, his face arched away, eyes tightly closed.

"What… Draco what's wrong? What did I do?" Harry pulled himself up, still staddling Draco a bit. "Tell me what I did wrong, I'm so sorry Draco, I am so very sorry…" he slid off the couch and knelt beside it instead, brushing Draco's hair with the tips of his fingers. Draco's eyes fling open; his tiny hands previously covering them slapping Harry's away.

"I said STOP! DON'T TOUCH ME! GET AWAY, DON'T TOUCH ME!" He yelled, pulling away from his onto the far side of the couch; his knees furling up untilhe was tight in a little ball.

Stop, stop, stop… no more, when I say stop everything is supposed to STOP…

"Draco, I'm sorry, I don't know what I did, I…" Harry's voice breaks off, his throat tight and straining to even make words. He felt torn between wanting to hug Draco close and ask his what is wrong, to try and make things better or to leave him be, to let him calm down. It killed him to watch him all alone, but when he goes to just hold his hand it is angrily swatted away.

"Just leave ok, just leave me alone? Don't touch me, just go away…" Draco spatthe words out between hard sobs, tears making identical streaks down his pale face.

"I, I didn't mean to… I'm sorry…" Harry backed away until he reached the door, sliding down the length of it rather than leaving.

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"I can't leave you alone like this, I have to at least keep watch just in case… I'm here if you need me." His voice finally failed i any attempts of sound, feeling sore from holding back every tear that has welled up inside him.

I am so, so sorry Draco, I would never mean to hurt you. I would NEVER hurt you, not ever in a million years would I intentionally cause you pain… why is that whenever I hurt people I don't mean to? Why do I fuck up those I hold dearest, why?

"Just…it's not your fault. It really isn't." Harrywas drawn back to reality by Draco's tiny voice, the blonde rubbing tears from his face with a pristine white handkerchief. His eyeswere tinged pink and puffy, a look he wished he could hide from Harry.

"Can you just hold me and not do anything but that for a little while? Just that, nothing more?" he asked a minute or so later.

Harry only nodded and walked over, slowly letting Draco unfurl himself from his ball and cradle into Harry's arms. A fresh onslaught of tears fought their way down his cheeks, Harry's first instinct to kiss each one away.

"Can I at least wipe your tears away?" he asked quietly, Draco nodded and slipped his head into the hollow between Harry's head and shoulder. He wiped each cheek with his thumb, extra delicate like he might break the bones if he tried anything too hard.

"It's not your fault. I don't know why I think that way around you…" he trailed off, nestling closer into Harryafter pullinghis legs up close to him, leaning them on his torso.

"Can I rub your hair?" Draco sniffled and nodded, feeling comforted and not scared at allwhen Harry's hands softly stroked his hair, everything soft about his touch and words.

I need to be gentler, more intuitive. I need to be able to control everything I do, to make sure that I can't possibly hurt Draco. I need to be more careful…

"I still feel bad, even if you don't blame me. It was my fault, even though I didn't mean for it to happen. I'm sorry Draco, I hate to see you cry."

"It's not your fault, and it's not really mine either. Truth told all around, it's my Fathers fault, but he's already being punished for that. I just need time, just give me some time." He curled into Harry, his breathing calmer and his muscles loose as they melt back together.

"I've got all the time in the world Draco," Harry whispered, kissing the crown of his head so lightly that he could barely register they were ever there, "I've got all my life to help you get better, to make you happy. All the time in the world."

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mintapotter