Kayla pushed me into the booth next to Nico. We were having breakfast before we all said our goodbyes from the vacation. We got up extra early to pack everything up and hike out of the woods.

Nico and I haven't talked about the kiss that happened last night. By the time we were alone, he was asleep in the tent. I decided to talk to him when Kayla wasn't around, the last thing we needed was for her to know about that.

We all ordered our food and ate. There wasn't much to this place it was simple yet unique. The atmosphere was laid back and the people who worked here were nice. It almost reminded me of Pop's from Riverdale.

The booth was small with all of us crammed into it, Nico's knee would bump into mine every once in a while. Just that small bit of contact made me want more. It was weird because I knew there wasn't anything between us or shouldn't be.

We would be friends nothing more, at least that's what would be logical. I did my best not to think about it, I did not need to fall for someone who wasn't into me again. I gave into my feelings one time and it bit me in the ass, figuratively that is.

Flashback to eight years ago (Will was sixteen)

TRIGGER WARNING, SELF-HARM

I had finally done it. I had just kissed my crush and she was not happy about it. I had a crush on her since we were kids and I finally worked the nerve up to kiss her, bad idea. "Will, I-" I cut her off before she could tell me that she didn't like me that way.

I felt the looks of the people around us, most from our school. They have always had it out for me since I started going to this shit-hole of a school. I have always been open about my sexuality and that in turn got me bullied. I did my best to ignore their lame-ass comments like calling me a 'fag' would hurt me or something? That to them was like the best and most hurtful thing they could call me.

Personally, I didn't really find the word all that hurtful but maybe it was just because it was coming from them. I'm not sure. "It was stupid to do that, I'm sorry. It's just I really like you, as more than a friend. I understand if you don't feel the same or whatever." I didn't know what to say and ended up sounding like some stupid teen from a movie or something.

Her raven hair danced in the autumn wind and the longer it took her to respond the more my anxiety got worked up and made its own story up. The whispers of the crowd of people around us made it worse. Why had I picked here to do this? Stupid!

"Is that Solace?" an older boy I didn't recognize asked. "Yeah, fag got rejected real fast!"

"I don't feel the same way, but I do still love you, Will. You have been there for me when I needed a shoulder to cry on or an ex's house to burn, but even if I had those feelings for you it wouldn't matter. I'm leaving for school in a week remember."

The all too familiar sinking feeling in my stomach came over me. I don't know what I expected to happen but it wasn't this. "I know, I think I'm- uh gonna go and we can just forget this ever happened." I did my best not to let her hear the edge in my voice.

I ran home and shut myself up in my room not daring to leave anytime soon. I felt my lungs ache from the breath I was holding. I laid on my bed staring at my dresser drawer. "No, I said I'd stop and I will. Plus what if mom found out or Kayla and Austin, no Will you don't need to do it."

I felt the anxiety build up in my chest until I was standing in front of my dresser throwing my piles of socks out of the way. When my fingers brushed against the cold blade my whole body went numb. I had tried so hard not to do this again hell I don't even know why I still kept the stupid blade anymore.

I took my jeans off and sat on the floor with my back against the wall. I take a deep breath and pull up the soft fabric of my boxers revealing my upper thigh. "Just one more, then I'm done." I cried. One cut turned into five and five turned to ten. I only stopped when there was a knock on my door.

End of flashback

We were walking out of the restaurant and I saw a claw machine so I had to play it. "What should I get?" I ask.

Nico rolled his eyes at me when he saw I was serious. "I don't know what about the dog thing?" he suggested. "It looks like the one dad had when we were kids but a lot smaller," Hazel added with a cheerful smile.

I added a dollar to the machine and it lit up. I was pretty good with these kind of games, it didn't hurt that the dog was close to falling either. I moved the claw to the dog and pushed it instead of grabbing it.

Most of these games are rigged so that can't really grab anything. On my last try, I got the black fluffy dog. The only thing that was kinda creepy is it had red eyes that looked like they would glow in the dark, but other than that it was kinda cute. I handed the dog to Nico, "here." Before he could decline I walked back to the truck.

When we got home it didn't take long for people to disappear. Nico left for work and Kayla said she was going to finish a project for work and then going out with a few friends. "Don't wait up for me bro," she said before leaving.

I managed to clean out my truck and put away all the camping gear we used. I made sure everything was clean before putting it in its rightful place.

It was nice to be back home but I also felt anxiety coming on about leaving the campground. I'm not sure how to explain it other than when things go back to the mundane I just get anxious. I shake the thoughts away and start to fill up the bathtub.

I added my favorite citrus bubble bath. It smelled great, it was warm, and it was peaceful to relax. I don't think I noticed just how much we walked or swam while we were at camp, my muscles ached just from that short time there.

I turned on a podcast while I relaxed for a bit. I had the house to myself and it was nice, not that Nico was a bad roommate hell sometimes I don't even notice he's home. He was like a cat when he walked, you can't hear him at all.

When the podcast ended I rinsed off and got out of the bath. I finished the laundry from the trip and got dressed in my favorite hello kitty pajama pants. Since I was home by myself I figured I didn't need a shirt.

I looked at my phone seeing the list I made and went over it. I would have to do some of it later but completed a lot already. I just had to sweep the floors and I would be done with everything today.

I knew Nico liked his privacy but I decided to sweep his room, it wasn't like I was going through anything just using a vacuum to get the dirt off the ground.

I've seen his room before but nothing more than a mere glance from the halls. I look around for a place to plug the vacuum in at. His room was dark even with the lights on, it looked like something you'd see on Tumblr with a grunge or emo touch to it. I quickly got to work sweeping the dark wood floors.

I wasn't paying attention because I was singing "Candy Store" from the Heathers musical when I hit the frame of his bed and a book fell to the ground. I turn the vacuum off and pull up the book.

On the outside, it was plain black with only a string that was probably used to wrap around it. It looked worn and old, it looked like it was from the eighteen hundreds or something. I didn't mean to look at the pages it just kinda happened.

It was open in my defense so when I saw the scribbles of some horrifying creature I had to read it. At first, I thought it was just a sketchbook or some kind of horror story but the more I looked at it the more I felt like it was something more, a journal of sorts.

It was definitely Nico's with his messy writing everywhere, some of the paragraphs weren't even in English like he just started screaming in a different language. I assumed it to be Italian considering he spoke it every once in a while.

"I see them again and again. I know it's not real but she felt real to me. Her brown-black eyes glared and asked me why I did that to her like she always does, this time dad didn't get home in time and left me with her again."

I read silently in my head, nothing made sense to me other than they seemed to be nightmares. I was so intrigued by the writing I didn't notice the dark figure in the doorway.

"Nico, you're home early."

A/N: The flashback was not planned at all so sorry if it's not that long or detailed. Also Nico has perfect timing lol. The next chapter you'll see how he reacts so whoop! Thanks to everyone who actually reads this,✌️

- Mason