Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. Stephenie Meyer created it all; I just like to play around in her world.
As always, a shout out to the Fab Five (sherriola, Katmom, TwiloverSue, Sammi & NKubie) for their support and help - and beachcomberlc and Ocassye for all their beta and pre-reading power! In addition, Purradox for her expertise and keeping me in line. These women have supported me in ways I can't even explain – specifically - encouraging me to continue when I've doubted my writing skills and ability to tell a story!
Lastly, thank you to the reader who nominated Honor as the best "Work in Progess" over at Fanatic Fanfics Multifandom Awards ( awards dot fanaticfanfics dot com). My beta for this story, beachcomberlc, has also been put up for a Beta Award in the competition. Voting starts today, so please go over and give your favorite stories and people your vote! After almost seven years in this fandom, I'm as honored by the nominations I've received as the awards I've been given.
~Honor~
"How did you feel when Edward said 'Red'?" Marcus asked Bella.
She thought back to that morning and how she'd reacted.
The wonder of the first moment of the day was overshadowed by the ache in her hip as she shifted. Breathing through the pain, she allowed the warmth and comfort of the bed to win and lull her back to that dusky land between sleep and wakefulness. But her lethargy was dispelled quickly, replaced by the awareness that she was not alone. A firm, warm body stretched out beside her, and she was wrapped around it like a vine.
Edward.
They'd done it!
Thrilled by the notion they'd been able to sleep together, she grinned, pushing away the last of her drowsiness while she began to run her fingertips through the soft hairs on his chest. He mumbled her name when she brushed over the tip of a nipple.
"Fuck, he's gorgeous," she thought, gazing at the shadow of hair covering his jaw. The desire to bite him was strong.
Ignoring the screaming pain in her hip, she shifted away, grinning when he reached for her. One of his arms rested to his side; the one she'd laid her head upon to sleep was stretched out, his hand seeking her across the sheets. Lips opened slightly, his facial muscles were relaxed in sleep, while his hair stood out in unruly spikes. The elements combined to make him look years younger. Like Carlisle, he was going to age gracefully, the years adding character to what was already a strong, masculine, but utterly beautiful face. And while he was no muscle-bound specimen like Jake, Edward's long, lean muscles screamed out for adoration. As did his cock, which admirably tented the sheets in morning glory.
Slowly, she moved over him, her lips brushing the taut planes of his stomach as she moved toward her goal.
"I was mad, at first," she admitted with a blush.
Beside her, Edward smirked, but he squeezed her hand gently. He'd worked hard over the past four days and then had the misfortune of getting caught up in surgery just before he was to clock out. But he'd insisted on keeping their appointment with Marcus, even if it meant he'd only gotten a couple hours of sleep. He kept assuring Bella he could survive on only a few, but she wanted to tuck him into his bed and let him nap. If she was able to join him, it would be even better. She, too, was tired after several hard therapeutic sessions with Jane, two long days of work with Henri and Jude for a small catering job, and attending the veterans' group to catch up on Cal and the others.
It was a good tired, though. She wouldn't get rich working for Henri, but the money would help her savings account, adding padding back to replace what she'd used to buy furniture. She knew how to be frugal. Living on her check each month would require it. Anything she could do to help the bottom line, while she tried to figure out her long-range plans, made her feel better. But for now, short-range goals had her wrapped tightly. Her primary one was enjoying the next few days off with Edward and possibly returning back to the moment she'd had his cock in her mouth.
"You said 'mad, at first.' Do you mind explaining?" Marcus asked.
Edward snickered, and Bella wanted to pinch his side. She'd actually been dumbfounded when Edward called a halt to her blowjob.
Shrugging her shoulders, which caused her neck to pop, Bella let out a deep breath. "I was in the moment and not thinking. Thankfully, Edward was a little more in control."
Marcus chuckled, which shocked her. The man was a sex therapist, so she should've assumed he would be as different as his line of work. His next words surprised her even more.
"I doubt Edward was very much in control, Bella. Most red-blooded men don't think rationally when the woman they love is performing fellatio on them – particularly in the morning."
Bella growled at Edward when she heard his grunt.
"Well, he had the sense to stop us, even if it did make me angry. We were in the wrong bed, but I was a little too excited to think about it."
"What caused your excitement?" Marcus's voice was soft, but there was no denying the power behind it.
He was the type of man you bared all your secrets to without an ounce of embarrassment. She and Edward had already told Marcus about their experimentation – in detail. He asked questions that made them flesh out what had happened, how the moments made them feel, what felt good, what didn't. Had anyone else asked such pointed questions, Bella would have thought they were a pervert. But with Marcus, it felt cathartic, energizing . . . normal.
Feeling spunky, she grinned. "Edward was in bed beside me with a convenient morning hard-on. We'd spent the night together, and I'd slept soundly in his arms." She shrugged with one shoulder, looking over to the copper-haired man beside her. "He gets me going." She waggled her eyebrows at him with a decidedly lecherous look. "So pretty."
Blushing, Edward shook his head and returned his attention to Marcus.
In her mind, Bella held up a single finger. Score one for Bella! While he hadn't meant for it to be so, Edward's halt of their playing had been torturous.
"Edward, why did you stop Bella?"
Clearing his throat, Edward smirked back at Bella. "Obviously it wasn't because I didn't want what was happening. In fact, I wanted it too much." He squeezed Bella's hand again before continuing. "I explained it to her after we calmed down and were sitting at the table for breakfast. It felt too good, and I was afraid I would lose control without the restraints. We discussed it, and Bella and I agreed. The first time she gives me a blow job, I need to be fully chained." He leaned over and bumped his shoulder against Bella's. "If the small sample I got was any indication, it'll be too good for me to think I'll have any control."
Bella felt the fiery blush warm her face, but she couldn't help but grin. Edward, a god-like creature, had complemented her skills, skills she wanted badly to utilize on him. She had no time to be shamed by it in front of the therapist who had probably heard much worse.
Marcus attempted to control the small smile that threatened, but he wasn't entirely able to do so. Bella noted the small quirk of his lips. "Edward successfully utilized your safe word to stop the play when he felt uncomfortable with the situation. Thinking on it now, how does that make you feel, Isabella?"
Bella had been contemplating this exact thing for the past few days. After the first rush of disappointment and anger, she'd known he'd done exactly what he should've done. He was protecting them and their agreements. And while it had stung at first, she'd had several days to contemplate exactly what her emotions were. And she could clearly define them now – the feeling of being cherished and protected. In that one moment, the moment Edward had placed his hand on her cheek and begged her to stop, using their safe word when she'd pushed the limit slightly, he'd cleared any doubt in her mind about the effort he would go to keep her safe . . . to make this work.
Even when she'd popped off him, allowing her breath to rush over his wet cock, he'd held entirely still. A supernatural feat, if there was ever one.
That moment had assured her she could attempt anything with Edward, and they had what it would take to work out the kinks, literally. She hadn't been able to tell him yet, what she'd figured out, because he'd been at work, and it had seemed too intimate of a conversation to hold over the phone.
Making sure she held Edward's gaze, she answered Marcus's question. "What you did made me feel wanted, in a way allowing me to finish wouldn't have. I'm sorry I ignored the rules. You were too enticing. Thank you for watching out for us."
Edward snorted, but took the opportunity to lean over and kiss her lips quickly. He'd already been more than blunt with her that morning about how he'd felt. He'd also been forthcoming about how excited he'd been. Something along the lines of "Fuck, your lips around my cock was the best wakeup call I've ever had."
"The homework I gave you last time appeared to be very helpful, no?" Marcus gazed at his iPad, having given them a moment of privacy. He was good like that, allowing them brief caresses.
Both Edward and Bella nodded their heads at his question.
"So, I have the next assignment for you. I request you complete this before you share any more intimate moments."
Bella had to breathe deeply, because she already had evil plans in place for Edward involving his bed and some new restraints. She blushed again when she caught Marcus's raised eyebrow. It was like the man could read her mind.
"For the first part of your assignment, I want you to take the time to write out two fantasies. To start, I want you to consider something you think is in reach. It could be to finish off what was started the other morning . . ." Marcus smirked at Bella " . . .or it could be something entirely different. The fantasy doesn't even have to include sex, although if it does, that's fine."
"The second one will be harder. I want you to reach deep down in the darkest parts of your soul and pull out a fantasy you don't want to share. Something you think the other person would run from."
Edward and Bella exchanged surprised glances.
"Place them in separate envelopes and put a red X on the one you fear the most, and a green one on the other. Once you have that done, I want you to place all four envelopes somewhere you agree upon. Somewhere you two can see on a daily basis. When you feel comfortable, I want you to sit down with each other and read the envelopes marked with the green X. You don't have to do this before you are intimate again, just when it feels right. I don't want you opening the red one for a while."
Bella and Edward nodded in agreement, their minds already on the assignment.
"Lastly, when you come see me next week, I would like to know an answer to the following question. Would you like me to schedule an interview with a couple who lives in a committed BDSM relationship, so you can feel them out as possible mentors?"
"What?" both Bella and Edward gasped.
Marcus actually snickered. "I wish you could've seen the look on both of your faces," he said with a soft laugh. He kept chuckling as he tapped something into his iPad. "Look, while I can certainly say I'm a good judge of character and interests, I don't assume I'm always correct. The use of bondage has been a good technique for you to get as far as you have, but I have to consider that for it to have worked so well, there has to be an underlying interest. It's my belief the two of you will continue with those practices long after their usefulness as trigger management has run its course, and I want you to have good knowledge and training just in case. You may never use what this couple can share, but as your therapist, I would rest better knowing you walk away from our time together with your tool chest full. " He tucked a stand of his long hair behind his ear. "This is not something I expect to be done soon. The couple I have in mind has a long waiting list in the community. I'm thinking by the time you are ready to walk away from our agreement, you'll be ready for them." He sat the iPad down on the table beside him. "It is only something I want you to contemplate."
Bella felt a fine sweat break out across her skin, uncertainty as to what a mentorship would imply.
"Bella, breathe," Marcus's calm voice washed over her. "Without sharing too much, I know you would feel comfortable with them, once you meet them. Mentorship comes in various forms, and the female in this couple is a Fem-Dom. Her specialty and kink is bondage. She won't expect you to touch anyone other than Edward, or for anyone else to touch you, other than perhaps her helping you to learn various ways of binding Edward."
Taking a deep breath, Bella relaxed. Marcus was only asking them to consider it. He gave them a slight bow, one that reminded Bella of an ancient Japanese warrior, as they left.
Mind on what they'd talked about in the therapy session, Bella didn't even complain when Edward guided her wheelchair out of the building. She hated she'd had to use it, but knowing Jane would wear her out during the therapeutic session she'd had to swallow her pride.
"What do you think about grabbing lunch out?" Edward asked once he'd stored her chair in the trunk and slid into the driver's seat.
"Hmm . . ." She hummed in agreement.
"You remember the dinner I brought for our first date?" he asked.
She grinned evilly. "You mean the date I had to share with Mildred?"
Smirking, Edward nodded. "I thought we might go there for a change. I haven't seen Lee and Amy since I dropped by to pick up our food, because they've been on vacation. But we'll have to keep our visit a secret from Henri and Jude. Those two have been begging Lee for a cook off to determine who's the best, and they've all volunteered me as the judge. I refuse every time, because I'm not willing to make any of them mad at me and lose out on their cooking."
Remembering the spicy seafood dish Edward had brought, Bella's mouth started watering. "Sounds perfect. This is your friend from high school, right?"
"Yes. Lee and I grew up together, but we really didn't become good friends until 6th grade. We both got into skateboarding then and the friendship grew from there."
Bella's head snapped around. "Wait, what?" She was envisioning Edward in grunge wear – long flannel shirt over a ratty t-shirt, long floppy hair. The image did things for her that were sinful.
He grinned at her surprise. "There are many layers to me, Ms. Swan. Many, many layers."
"Did you listen to Nirvana too?"
"Of course!" He sniffed, to which she broke out in laughter. "It's where Jamie's love for the Seattle 10 began. Lee and I took him with us all the time to the skate park. Unfortunately, he sucked at skateboarding, even though he tried. Instead, he watched us and listened to music while he began polishing his skills at 'deduction.'"
"Deduction?" she asked, totally confused. It was obviously something funny.
Jamie smiled a big toothy smile. "I'm practicing the art of deduction," he replied at Edward's raised eyebrow.
Several pretty pre-teen girls surrounded his baby brother and giggled when Edward walked up to the picnic table where Jamie was holding court. Brushing the long hair out of his eyes, Edward smiled at them. They were way too young for him, and for Jamie they were ancient.
"Deduction?" Edward asked.
"Yeah, you know, what Emmett and Jasper said they're learning from Dad. The art of deduction."
Chuckling, Edward ruffled Jamie's blond hair, making it stick up in clumps. "Seduction, not deduction."
"Oh," Jamie said, his eyes going wide. He grinned at the young girls around him. "I'm practicing to be the master of seduction."
"Is that what you're practicing on me? Deduction?" Bella teased when Edward finished telling the story about Jamie.
The teasing on his face morphed into something hot and meaningful. "If I can seduce you like my father has done my mother over the years, I'll consider it a job well done."
The breath caught in Bella's chest at Edward's words, rendering her speechless for the short trip to his friend's restaurant.
~Honor~
They were almost back home before Bella ventured the question that had been haunting her since Marcus spoke it. "What did you think about Marcus's idea of us meeting with that couple?"
Edward was silent for a minute, but she waited patiently.
"I'm at war with myself. Like I've told you, up until now, I would've never thought I had a submissive bone in my body, and the lifestyle is something I've never given consideration. But I wouldn't be fully honest with you if I didn't say our experiences have intrigued me. I get primed the minute I see that look in your eyes. So in considering that, I'm very interested. But the alpha male in me doesn't want this other man seeing or touching you. And I don't know how it would work considering your responses to touch. So that part confuses me. And you?"
Bella sighed in relief. Edward had come close to putting into words her exact feelings. "Ditto. I know so little about the BDSM lifestyle, other than what has been made popular with movies and stuff. But the idea of finding out more ways of tying you up definitely intrigues me."
She felt a wave of heat engulf her and saw Edward's hands twitch against the wheel.
"See, right there, that's why I would consider it," he said in a low, gruff voice. "The worst that can happen is it doesn't fit for us, and we back away."
Bella nodded. "We'd have to set some hard and fast rules for contact. I'd have to tell the woman about me." The thought brought a dark shadow to Bella's face. Edward grabbing her hand and squeezing it restored some of her equilibrium.
"We've got time to figure it out, Bella. Plenty of time."
By some unspoken agreement, Bella and Edward entered his apartment, not hers. Rolling up to the kitchen table, Bella placed the takeout containers holding their desserts on top before putting the leftovers in his refrigerator.
Yawning, Edward reached into the freezer and pulled out coffee beans. "The night will catch up to me if I don't get an injection of caffeine. You want java, or should I put some tea on for you?"
Considering the thick slab of chocolate cake she had for dessert, she said, "Coffee's perfect."
She angled around him to get forks and grab some napkins. It all seemed so domestic, until Edward put a pad of paper and two envelopes in front of her, doing the same in front of his coffee mug.
"I don't know about you, but I had plans that included me being strapped to my bed. Marcus giving us an assignment like this put a serious damper on them." He sat and took a deep drink of his coffee. "Before you're intimate again." His mimicry was an almost perfect reproduction of Marcus's accent.
Bursting out in laughter, Bella slid the two containers of desserts between them, offering Edward a fork. "Let's share . . ." she nodded to the yummy goodness in the Styrofoam " . . .then let's share," she nodded to the envelopes.
"Sounds good." He smiled, and she felt relief he was willing to go ahead with the less risky of the two revelations.
Silence reigned as they worked.
While Bella had no problem folding the one sheet of paper, her hands shook as she sealed the "red" envelope. What would Edward think of her? she wondered.
Luckily, they had as much time as they needed, because she was a long way from living that one out. Edward still worked on his, and it made her wonder how detailed he was being. Lust prickled along her skin as she contemplated how filthy he really could be at times. His words were always shocking her, in the best of ways. Surprisingly, he folded the sheet he'd completed first and placed it in the envelope. The one he'd taken the longest on was the one he left folded before him.
Between them, they'd finished off the desserts and a pot of coffee.
"Let me visit the restroom first before we talk," Bella requested.
When Edward turned to go to the kitchen with the dirty dishes, he missed Bella's pleased grin. While she did need to go to the bathroom, she really wanted the privacy to set up the restraints for Edward. She had every intention of finishing what she'd started. When she returned, he'd placed an ice-cold water on the table for her. He had to have heard her shuffling around in his bedroom, but he never asked what she'd been doing.
"You first or me?" he asked as soon as they sat back down.
Bella nodded to him and giggled when he made a "bok, bok" noise, effectively calling her a chicken. It didn't stop him from opening the paper, though.
"My fantasy is to be allowed the privilege of giving you multiple orgasms until you pass out from the pleasure." He glanced up with a wicked look. "It would start with you naked on my bed. I wouldn't bind you like you do me, but you'd be positioned on your stomach, legs and arms spread wide. But like me, you would be required to remain perfectly still, so it would be all on you to do so for as long as you can. Your feet would be the first place I'd start."
Tracing his fingertips across his jaw, Edward said, "I'd used the rasp of my beard to run across the tops and bottoms of your feet to make them sensitive first before I applied the correct mix of massage and pressure to make you come."
At her snort, he captured her gaze. "Oh ye of little faith." An unholy light gleamed in his eyes. "In medical school, I had this broad-minded professor. He believed any good doctor should recognize the contributions of thousands of years of medical practice. We were required to do a study on an ancient form of treatment. I chose reflexology. I can make you come Bella, just from a massage. I'd make sure every muscle in your body was relaxed before I focused on your hands or feet, whichever I found had the most promise. But come you would, when I applied the right techniques and pressure."
She almost called him out on his boast, but decided to allow him to continue so she could hear the rest.
"That would be the first of many," he stated softly with conviction. "The first one to loosen you up really, because I'd become so much more demanding. I want to feel your muscles bunch and roll under my touch, to bite the inside of your knee – right where the flesh is tender. On your inner thighs, your lips."
Desire swamping her from the images brought forth by his words, Bella shifted in need, but attempted to hide it from him. She wasn't successful, and Edward grinned at the sound of the wood of her chair creaking.
"I'd soothe your skin after. I promise. But I'd have to torture you a little. Because when I say I want to give you as many orgasms as possible, I mean with my hands, lips, and tongue. This fantasy doesn't involve my dick, other than the fact I'll be as fucking hard as a rock while I'm doing it. This one is all about you. To remind you sex can be something other than inserting A into B. When I'm done, all you'll be able to do is go to sleep."
He smoothed the paper out on the table before he slid it over to her. "There are details here, if you want to know every single place I plan to brand you with my touch, but I'd rather show you."
Bella couldn't hold back a groan and asked in a husky voice, "What about you afterward?"
"I'll jack off in the shower imagining that I'm doing it on you."
Her eyes widened immensely at several of the very graphic details he'd included on the paper. "What do you get out of this, Edward? Why the focus on me, versus what I can do to you?"
Edward's smile was so big you'd thought he'd won a million dollars. "Bella, you're already fucking given me all those fantasies one at a time now. I'm just going to sit back and enjoy the ride." He leaned toward her and a current seemed to arc between them, electrifying her skin. His pupils were enlarged and a faint flush covered his cheeks. "This is about me getting my hands on you. That is my fantasy. I can't wait to find out what you taste like, to nibble at your nipples, and to lick the sweat from your neck as I fuck you." He tapped the paper with his index finger. "Accomplishing a good, orgasm-inducing massage on you is the first step in me getting to my goal." He waggled his eyes at her, doing a much better impression of a lecher than she'd done earlier. "I promise you, once I get my hands on you, you are going to fucking crave me afterward."
As if I don't already, Bella thought as she reached for her paper. Edward was so much better with words that she felt like a wimp with what she'd wrote.
"I'm going to pre-empt this by saying you interrupted one of my top fantasies the other morning, so if I had to list one, giving you head would be right up there." She blushed, unfolding the paper. "So, um, mine is silly compared to yours."
Edward's eyebrows rose at her hesitation, and being the "bok, bok" he'd teased her of being, she slid her paper to him.
The sound he made when he read what she'd written down caused every nerve in her to alight. Eyes on fire, he bit his lip.
"A doctor fetish. My, my." He clucked his tongue at her. "I can so make that happen." He shifted on his seat much like she had. "Fuck, now I won't be able to walk into anywhere in the hospital without thinking about how I could take you against the door, over one of the tables, or in the locker room. Damn . . . way to torture me there, babe."
Bella hadn't thought about it in that manner, but the idea she could sexually taunt him throughout the day, even when she wasn't around, pleased her immensely. Putting the back of her hand to her forehead, she weakly said, "Please, doctor, I think you need to check my heart. I'm feeling faint." She made sure to pull the side of her button down shirt far enough back to show the lace of her bra.
He lunged quicker than she could squeak, pressing his lips to the skin above her pounding heart. It was the fastest move he'd made around her, and she didn't have time for any fear to possibly arise, because the feel of his lips against her skin burnt any hesitancy away. Grabbing the back of his hair, she held him to her breast as he knelt between her spread legs. She gasped when he bit her skin lightly, then laved the sting away with his tongue.
"I'll have to do a thorough examination later, but my preliminary assessment is that you are a hot as fuck."
She snickered at his humor, even while her eyes rolled back in her head at the sensual pleasure of his touch. "Stand up," she murmured as he moved his lips slowly back and forth across the small patch of skin he worried.
"Yes, ma'am," he whispered, rising gracefully from between her legs.
While he stood perfectly still between her legs, she placed her hand over the erection straining his jeans directly in front of her face and traced the hard length. All kidding aside, Bella allowed the feel of him, the heat, and the sounds of his heaving chest to surround her.
"Go get naked, Edward."
~Honor~
I know, I know – I'm not being an intentional cock block. I just realized that this chapter would be 10,000 words if I went with what I'm envisioning, and there was no way I'd do that to my beta – nor I wouldn't have had it all ready to post for this week. Please forgive.