Uhh hello!
Writer's Block. Terrible. I have actually written several chapters for the future, but this one plagued me. I also have another version of the beginning of this chapter where Leah does come over and talks to Paul, and it's on the blog if you want to read it.
Chapters should be coming more frequently now. So yay for summer vacation.
Thanks for the reviews/alerts/faves. I truly appreciate them, and I would love to hear from more of you.
…Twilight isn't mine, only OCs. All OC names except Lou, Ann, Nick, Jamie, and Alyssa are from Tara Janzen's Crazy/Loose series.
Paul POV
As I flopped down on the couch after another round of pacing, I had to resist the urge to check the time for the twelfth time in as many minutes.
Yeah I can just picture the expression on everyone's face if they could see me now. Paul Prade, the badass with an equal as bad temper, reduced to pacing and checking the time every five seconds. Just what is the cause of all of this? Lily Hawkins. I'm acting like a pansy ass, and I think the worst part is that I am aware of it but am having a real hard time acting differently right now. Fan-fucking-tastic. Where the hell is Leah when I need her? She would know exactly what to say right now. I have already established the fact that I don't want to act like this, but Lily has me acting like a 14 year old about to go on their first date.
It felt as if the walls of my small house were closing in on me, and I actually felt uncomfortable in my own skin for the first time in the past few years. Before overcoming some of the issues I had, the anger always made me feel itchy, and it was only through working with Quinn that I found that balance between myself and my wolf.
Okay, I just need to relax, and I start with some breathing exercises that Quinn taught me. I finally reached what could be seen as a normal state a few minutes later, and I was relieved to see that it was almost time to pick Lily up.
I started a bit as I heard a knock on the door, and I was unnerved by the fact that I didn't even notice anyone approaching the house. I shook my head as I pulled myself off the couch and went to answer the door.
Finding Embry on the other side was surprising, but I was always glad to see him, as we had bonded over our unimprinted status for the last few years. I felt a twinge of guilt as I realized that I was no longer a part of that club.
"Hey Embry. What's up man?" I asked, still unable to shake the guilty feeling, especially after taking in his somewhat depressed expression.
He finally pulled his gaze up to mine, "Paul." He seemed to gather himself, and I realized that this was the first time since I had imprinted that I had seen Embry. He, of course knew that I imprinted, as that type of information makes the rounds pretty quickly.
I couldn't let this go on any further, already preparing myself for the conversation that wouldn't be that different from the one I had with Leah, "Why don't you come in?" I turned to walk down the hall assuming that he would be following right behind me.
We reached the living room, and took seats on the opposite ends of the room, neither of us wanting to be the one to speak first. However, it seemed ridiculous to continue with the silence, "Emb, I'm sorry that I haven't been around quite as much, but I want you to know that I honestly think that if I imprinted, you can't be that far behind." I was going for honesty and I was not willing to dance around the issue.
He seemed surprised that I was so blunt, "You can say that now that you have imprinted Paul. I know you mean well, but do you honestly know it will happen for sure? No. I mean the optimism is something that I'm trying to hold on to, but seeing everyone but me imprint is draining. I guess it was easier when it was you and me, now it's just me." He said bitterly.
"Well you, Brady, and Seth" I couldn't help but say jokingly, hoping to ease some of his tension.
"Ha thanks for that Paul, that makes me feel sooo much better, in the same club as the two pups." Embry said sarcastically. "I phased fourth out of everyone, and yet even some of the young ones have imprinted. Where is the justice in that?"
"There isn't any, but you have to hold out hope and keep the faith. Stop dwelling on it and it will happen, trust me." I was about to go on when I realized that it was 6:45. "Holy fuck! I'm sorry to cut this short, but I have to go pick Lily up." I knew that saying this it would be like rubbing salt in an open wound, but there was no way in hell that I was going to be late for the first date with my imprint.
Embry just smiled, "You know, you bringing her up only once is impressive Paul. Thanks for the talk bro; I'll try to chill out."
Clapping my hand onto his shoulder, "It will all work out, but assuming that it doesn't happen between now and tomorrow, do you want to come over and play some Halo?" I was hoping that he would accept the olive branch, even though imprinting wasn't something that I could control or want to apologize for, I was unwilling to lose this relationship with my brother.
"Sure man sounds good. Plus I'll get to find out about your date before anyone else." Embry said, rather gleeful at the prospect. I swear the pack gossips worse than a group of high school girls, but I wouldn't trade them for the world.
…
Pulling up to the Hawkins house, I took one last deep breath as I shut my car off, readying myself. I walked up the stairs as quickly as I could, anxious to see Lily.
After knocking on the door, I could hear someone approaching it from the other side, not Lily though. I already had the sound of her steps memorized, and these heavy ones were definitely not hers, probably one of her brothers, I thought to myself. I guessed right as Jamie opened the door, "Hey," I said; however I looked up and caught sight of Lily descending the stairs.
I tried to keep an impassive look, but it faded as a smile slipped onto my face as I took her in. She looked more polished than I had ever seen her, in a gray shirt that emphasized a very womanly figure, dark skinny jeans and heels that extended her already killer legs. Again let me thank the fates for giving me such a beautiful imprint. I locked eyes with her, and it was as if neither of us could look away, that is until her brother coughed and pulled my attention to him.
I thought it was in my best interest to pay attention as a serious look had settled over his face, and I was ready to be amused by the overprotective brother talk.
"Now I know you think Lily can take care of herself, and she can, but if you do anything to hurt her like her last asshole boyfriend, I will beat your ass down. I don't care how much bigger you are, Hawkins' take care of their own. All of us who care about her wouldn't hesitate to do it and trust me I have the footage from the last guy to prove it." Jamie said all of this in a low tone of voice, because he knew that if Lily heard she would flip a bitch.
My smile had faded with each word that came out of his mouth, some asshole had hurt her? My hand shook as I tried to get past that fact, and focus on the future, the one where I would not be hurting Lily. "I understand, and I'm sure there would be several of my friends that would help out if I ever fucked up that bad. Trust me I know a good thing when I see it, and your sister is definitely a good thing." I was deadly serious.
Jamie seemed to realize this; he smiled and nodded, and turned to continue on his way up the stairs without another word to me, pleased that he had gotten his point across.
I watched as Lily picked up her purse, and started walking toward me, calling up to her brother, "I will see you later Jame. Will you tell mom that I will be back later?"
"Sure Lil. Have fun. Be safe." He said sounding very serious, hell after that little talk I wasn't surprised, but Lily just laughed. The sound of her laughter brought a sense of calm over me, and I was struggling with the fact that her happiness seemed to supplement mine.
I watched as she hugged him and said, "Sure Jamie, I will be. Love you." He looked like any 16 year old boy hugging a family member, a bit unwilling. He shot me one last look, eyes full of promises that he would hurt me if I hurt his sister. Hell I was serious when I said that some of my friends would help if I managed to fuck this up.
I brought my gaze down to Lily who looked up at me, smiled and said, "Hello Mr. Prade, you are looking quite nice this evening."
I took her hand in mine, and walked out the door heading towards my truck, reveling in the fact that I was able to hold her hand, "Well thank you Miss Hawkins, you are looking lovely as well, and I am quite impressed with those shoes. They definitely exceeded my expectations."
Oh did they, those lovely shoes not only do amazing thing to her legs, but they put her at only a few inches shorter than me. I guess I had never realized the affect that a taller woman would have on me. I just shook my head realizing it was probably the imprint, I knew didn't matter how tall or short my imprint is, just that I have one.
As I was mulling this over in my head, we had reached my truck, and I pulled open the door, as she turned back to me she seemed to realize exactly how close in height we were, and then in a move that seemed like we had done it a thousand times, she lifted her lips up and brushed them over mine. I deepened the kiss slightly, but managed to keep a hold of myself seeing that we were still in front of her parent's house. Nevermind the fact that we are both adults, no need to offend anyone.
I pulled back slightly and said, "Well I think I love those shoes even more now, but let's get out of here before I forget everything I have planned." With that I helped her up into the truck.
As I rounded the hood, I felt at peace with my mind and body, no longer feeling that itchy now that I was with my imprint. Who I shot one last look at before starting my truck up, slightly wincing as the music came back on, louder than most people like.
"Sorry about that," I said, hoping that I hadn't damaged her hearing. Okay calm the fuck down Prade, that line of thinking is for pansy ass imprints, get over yourself. I had to tune back in to what Lily was saying.
She seemed amused, thank god, "Oh don't worry about it, I blast the music in my car all the time. Let me say I never pegged you for a classic rock type of guy."
"Really? What type of music do you think I listen too? Rap?" I was curious to see what she pegged me as.
"I guess, or more modern rock. Cream? Not so much, but I love this song." She said, already tapping her fingers to the beat of 'White Room'.
"I guess I listen to some modern stuff like Linkin Park or Metallica's newer stuff, but normally I'm a Rolling Stones, Led Zeppelin, and CCR kind of guy." This was a test of mine that I used to use when I dated more frequently, seeing if any girl actually knew what CCR meant.
She looked interested at the sound of those bands, "Oh I love all of those bands too! My mom and dad raised me on that stuff and it never gets old. The Glee version of Creedence Clearwater's 'Proud Mary' was great, although not my favorite song by them. I'm more of a 'Lodi' fan."
A girl who actually knew what CCR meant and could name songs by them? And this was only our first date.
Apparently she picked up on my expression, "What? You surprised I knew what you were talking about?"
"Yeah, no one ever knows what CCR stands for, and the fact that you could name some of their songs is amazing." I said honestly.
"Well I'm a just full of surprises. Prepare to be amazed for any of them." She said with a smirk.
I laughed, "Can't wait Lil. So are you only a rock music fan?"
I caught the sheepish expression on her face, "Ooh is this another one of those surprises Lily? Already?"
"I guess you could say that," She said, "So the majority of music I listen to is rock, everything from alternative to metal to more pop-rock. I also have the occasional moments of liking a few pop songs, but I guess you could say that I am a Lil' Wayne fan." She mumbled this last part.
I couldn't help but laugh, "You like Lil' Wayne? That seems a bit …" I trailed off not able to finish that sentence without offending her.
"Out of character? Yeah it is, but don't go around telling everyone, my brothers don't realize that I actually like some rap, it would be a betrayal to Jamie and a success for Nick." She said seriously but I could still see the smile on her face in the dim light filling up the interior of my truck.
We kept up an easy conversation as I drove towards the restaurant, and we got there quickly. I parked the truck and I took in her expression as she looked at where we were. Our destination being a restaurant in Forks, which was a nicer than Embry's mom's diner, especially for this first date.
Lily got out of the car before I could get around to help her out, even with the bit of werewolf speed that I would have put on.
"Now I know you said that Mexican food was your favorite, but the closest thing to authentic Mexican food is probably in Port Angeles, so I am hoping that you won't mind an Italian dinner?" I said slightly apprehensive, again trying to calm myself with the ridiculousness that I was feeling.
She seemed a bit surprised at the forethought that I had put into this, I wasn't offended, but it was becoming more and more obvious that her last boyfriend was a douche bag and an idiot.
"Yeah it's fine Paul, to be honest I haven't been on a date in quite some time, and this is already shaping up to be better than my last one." She said a bit embarrassedly but held my gaze.
"Well I want this to be nice for you, so it's really no problem at all." It isn't, but when the hell have I turned into this guy who doesn't shut up and shares his feelings? I mean yeah she's my imprint, but it's like I can't stop some of these things from slipping out. Oh well, I guess I'll focus on the date now and worry about all the commentary later.
We were seated quickly after entering the building, and after ordering drinks, we both silently appraised the menu. It wasn't an awkward silence though, just comfortable. Something I could definitely get used to.
As dinner progressed, the easy conversation continued. Lily telling me about her plans for the upcoming school year, mentioning the situation with her sister and giving me a quick update on her parent's reaction, and she had also brought up a friend that she was hoping would maybe move up here if she couldn't find a job in California. She also mentioned that her friend would maybe come up for a visit in a few weeks, and seemed very excited at the prospect. Hell who knows maybe Embry would imprint on her.
In turn I told her some stories of the guys and what we did at work; she seemed amused at the antics. I was hoping that by telling her stories about the pack, it would do a better job with her accepting the situation rather than throwing everything at her at once. This is also why I have spent the last 2 weeks getting to know her, and I still don't feel the need to tell her that I explode into a ball of fur. Eventually yes, but I want to build up a relationship before that conversation happens.
Dinner went by quickly, and I was happy to see that Lily actually ate real food and didn't complain about it, I am thankful that she is not one of those girls that orders a glass of water and leaf of lettuce. Prior experience speaking here, it was awful.
After paying the bill, and arguing over who would pay the check, Lily thought I was actually going to let her pay for her own, again, who the hell had she dated before me?
I firmly told her that I invited her out, and that if she ever asked me out, then by all means she could pick up the check for that one. Surprisingly there was no blush on her face after this statement, only a determined look in her eye. Fantastic. Not that I would give up on my imprint, but it would be nice for her to come to me.
We were walking back towards my truck, finding ourselves hand in hand again, "Do you need to be home, or are you up for one more stop?"
She laughed, a sound I was loving, "Well considering it's only 9 o'clock, still light out, and I kinda am allowed home whenever, I think I am most definitely up for one more stop."
"Hey I don't want to assume anything here; you know what they say about those who assume." I said teasingly.
With that being said I started up my truck and headed back into La Push, and I found myself turning into the familiar parking lot.
I could see the question in Lily's eyes and also a familiarity that comes with those who had played sports, the sight of a ballpark.
"My grandpa used to bring me here when I was growing up and we would practice or even just throw the ball. It was the one thing that we really bonded over, and it tore me up when he passed away." I said honestly.
She looked sad, "I'm sorry about that Paul."
I was already shaking my head, "I didn't bring you here to be sad or to pity me,"
"It's not that, the death or the thought of a grandparent dying is still a little raw for me." She said matter of factly.
"Shit Lil, I'm sorry." How the fuck could I forget that her grandparents were in the hospital? I.e. the whole reason she came to La Push in the first place.
She seemed to already shake it off, "Don't worry about it Paul. Now you don't happen to have anything to throw with do you?" I had already started to pull a baseball from under my seat, and showed her, "Sweet, let me take off these death traps and we can toss it around."
"Sounds good." I had come around to her side of the truck and pulled the door open, waiting patiently for her to finish taking off her shoes and step out of the truck.
We started tossing the ball back and forth after we reached the field, however we had to let it bounce because we didn't have any gloves. Rather I let it bounce to keep up the pretense that I was still human.
"Besides the forest, this is one of my favorite places." I raised my voice so it would carry to her.
She nodded and seemed to know what I was talking about, "I know exactly what you mean, just being at the field let's me just stop thinking about things. I forgot that it does that to me. Thanks for the reminder." She said smiling at me.
"Not a problem," I started to say, a howl cutting me off. Lily looked at me, more than a little alarmed.
"You guys have wolves up here?" She asked, sounding a bit strained.
"Yeah, but don't worry they would never hurt you. Wolves are protected around here; they are a sacred animal to the Quileute people." I calmly told her this, internally cursing whatever dumbasses were out there messing around. We all had different howls, howls for danger to imprints, threats of vampires, etc. That last howl was most likely from a dumbass pup that was screwing around.
"Sacred?" She asked questioningly.
"Yep," I decided to use this moment to slip in some more details of my other form to Lily. "You know it's said that Quileute people are descended from wolves."
Lily looked interested, so I continued on with an abridged version of the legends, first beginning with the first great Spirit Chief, Kaheleha, and moving on to the story of Utlapa and Taha Aki. I didn't think that Lily realized that she had stopped throwing the ball and was unconsciously moving closer to me with each word that was leaving my mouth.
She was a great listener, gasping at certain parts and glaring at the mention of Utlapa. Although I had an ulterior motive for telling these legends, it was truly something else to experience my imprint hanging on to my every word. I didn't want to go into the story of the Third Wife just yet, so I ended with, "The wolves were all different, because they were spirit wolves and reflected the man they were inside." (Eclipse, p. 251)
Lily seemed sad that I had apparently finished, "Wow Paul, I can't even think of anything to say right now. Those legends just seem so vivid in my mind." Little did she know just how vivid they would become in real life, but not quite yet.
"Well if you want to learn more about it, my grandfather was actually a kind of scribe, and he wrote a book on the legends. It's actually in the library if you wanted to read it." I said in an innocent tone, not that I had any ulterior motives, like hoping Lily would figure out I was a werewolf.
Anything I was about to say was cut off when I saw that she was shivering. Jesus Christ, I am a terrible imprinter, I practically let my own damn soul mate freeze. I mean yeah it was August, but I remember back to pre-phasing days that it could get rather cold at nights, especially if that person wasn't used to it.
"Geez I'm so sorry Lil, you look like you're freezing." I said, a concerned tone tingeing my voice.
"Oh, I guess I am cold, looks like your story telling made me forget my surroundings." I loved the sound of this.
I led her back to the truck keeping my arm around her, transferring all the warmth I could to her. While driving back to her house, I held her hand in mine, still trying to warm her up. Not that she seemed to mind at all.
It was all too soon that we reached her house, and I walked her up to the door like the good little imprinter I am.
"I had a lot of fun tonight Lil." I said very seriously, hoping that she had too.
She smiled at me, "I did too, but next ones on me kay?" Her smile turning into a smirk by the end of this.
She did want to see me again, success, and so far I am not a failure as an imprint.
I leaned down to kiss her, a little more heavily than the light kisses that we had been trading back and forth. I was in a state of pleasure and happiness, therefore I did not register the door opening until someone said, "Well well Lil. I never thought I would catch you in this position." A feminine voice rang out amusedly. I couldn't even process the fact that this was the second time today that I had essentially been snuck up on.
Oh my god. I couldn't even look at Lily, or Ann for that matter.
Lily apparently had no problem, "Jesus Christ Mother!" She gave her a mother/daughter look where no words were necessary, of course this meant I was completely lost. And still embarrassed to be caught by my imprint's mother.
It wasn't as bad as I assumed it would be, as Ann continued on, "I always wanted to do that, and Lil you were the perfect candidate. Sorry you got dragged into my fun Paul."
"Umm don't worry about it Mrs. Hawkins." I said, still not able to look her directly in the eye.
This is what actually upset her, "Now Paul, we have talked about this. My name is Ann. A-N-N. Ann. Learn it, love it, use it." Without waiting for an answer she went back into the house, shutting the door behind her.
I chanced a look down at Lily, who was trying to hold in a laugh. "I'm sorry about my mom, sometimes she can't really help herself."
I smirked a bit, knowing laughing it off was the only thing I could do, "Well I have to say that is the first time I have ever been caught by a parent."
"It happens to the best of us buddy." Lily teased back.
I looked a bit resignedly at the door not wanting to risk another appearance by one of her family members, "Thank you for a great night Lil, I hope we can do it again, soon."
She looked happy, "I had a great time too Paul, and I would love to do it again. I'll text you?"
At my nod of assent she turned to go inside, I stopped her as I turned her around, kissing her one more time. Leaving her with a dazed look on her face, I swung back into my truck and started on my way back home.
…...
So there it is, longest chapter I have ever written.
Please let me know what you think.