Author's note: Sorry it took me so long to update- crazy shite has been happening. Writing time for me these days is limited at best.
Chapter Twenty-The Season of Giving
Damn.
That seemed to be the only thought Nympadora Tonks was capable of thinking after Remus's hasty departure.
How could he snog the living daylights out of her and just LEAVE?!?!?
Oh…my…god.. Damn!
Tonks flopped herself down on her couch, still feeling dizzy and lightheaded. If he hadn't been holding her so painfully tight when they were kissing, she probably would have collapsed. Her knees could barely stand it.
And what a bloody kiss.
Alright, so he had scared the crap out of her like that when he jerked her around so fast and pulled her towards him- but she actually LIKED it when he was angrily kissing her like that. Kinda sexy.
Alright, not 'kinda sexy'- it was a 'bloody fantastic full-blown turn on'.
If that's what kisses were like from Remus Lupin when he was angry, she was going to make it her mission to get him as pissed off as possible in the future.
If there is a future. She frowned.
Her bleak thoughts couldn't take hold for very long though- she immediately thought of Remus again. At his gentle knocking she had flung open the door expecting to see fleeing Christmas carolers in her angry wake and had found herself instead staring at the man she had long given up hope of ever seeing again.
The temptation to kiss him right there on the spot had been terribly overwhelming. He looked so pale and nervous standing there, and seemed much more sickly and thinner looking than the last time she had seen him.
Then he snogged her and left without another word-
Bastard.
If he hadn't wanted to get her hopes up for them both, he had done exactly the WRONG thing.
It had not escaped her notice either that Remus had never said 'I don't love you' after he kissed her. She grinned at the thought and snuggled deep down into her cozy blanket that was lying on the couch. She was fairly certain too that he hadn't entirely forgotten to say so.
He loves me. I know he loves me- he can deny it all he wants but I know better now…
Her patronus was him. So obviously him- when it first had changed it had surprised her more than anybody else but she couldn't say in all honesty she was too shocked. The man who protected her from everything- who wanted to protect her from everything, the man who was convinced he needed to protect her from himself by pulling away from her when she needed him most.
He was a stupid and noble man at the same time. What a Gryffindor.
She remembered the cutting words of a certain, greasy-haired git who had seen her new patronus,
"I thought you were better off with the old one…the new one looks weak."
She felt a surge of seething rage. The NERVE of that bastard. She remembered when Snape had said that, right after he had shut the gates in her face and she said goodbye Harry, she had spent the next fifteen minutes kicking rocks and throwing them all over the castle grounds like a mad woman.
Remus Lupin was NOT weak. He was the strongest man she knew and she would take grey hair over greasy hair any time.
Just to vent some of her pent up anger she threw a pillow across the room where it hit the mini Christmas tree she had attempted to set up and fell over onto the floor.
She didn't bother to go and pick it up, there were other things on her mind than fallen Christmas trees…
Tonks lay there staring at the ceiling feeling wide awake despite the late hour.
"Have yourself…a very little Christmas. Let your heart be light. From now on your troubles will be out of sight-"
She paused in her singing. She couldn't remember the rest of the lyrics to the song. "Here we are as in olden days…happy holidays- to youuuuuuu- friends or foes who are dear to us-"
She frowned. That couldn't be right. Oh well. "Gather here to ussssss once more-and…though our fears, we all will get together…we will be once…ner, ner, ner…oh! Bugger."
She made an early new years resolution to start taking singing lessons. She really did sound terrible.
Her eyes fell about the untidy room and landed suddenly on a neatly wrapped box by the front table.
The present!
She leapt to her feet, ran to the table and tripped on a bunch of dirty laundry lying there on the floor. Feeling too excited to feel her future bruises she reached the table and snatched the present up.
There wasn't a card.
She tore open the wrapping frantically and when she saw what it was, raised an eyebrow.
Remus Lupin, you are such a man.
Some nail polish, lotion and candles. Your basic holiday gift set you could find anywhere for last minute Christmas shoppers who realized they forgot to buy someone a present. She guessed he had picked out that particular set because the box was pink. She looked at him glumly for a moment, displeased with the thoughtlessness of the gift until her eye caught the label on one of the pink bottles-
What the-!?!?! He obviously didn't read this too carefully. She let out a snort of laughter.
'Anti-aging wrinkle cream' was on the bottom of one of bottle's label in tiny little print.
Of all people to give that too- she was a metamorphous for goodness sakes. Of course, with her morphing the way it was these days- who knew? Maybe she would be as wrinkled as Remus Lupin in a few years time if she couldn't fix herself up in time.
For a moment she considered sending it back to him with a huge circle around the 'Anti-aging wrinkle cream' label. As a joke of course, but knowing him he'd probably get sensitive about it and use it as his excuse that Tonks didn't really like him and was sending him a hidden message about how old he was.
She shook her head. What a man. Didn't even read the bottle when he bought it?
Strange as it was, the thought gave her comfort that Remus really was a typical man with all his faults and flaws.
Ho. Ho. Ho. What a jolly bloody Christmas this is. She thought as she flopped down on the couch again.
Perhaps it was a Christmas thing- Remus had officially kissed her last Christmas and this Christmas had followed in the same vein.
Was she doomed to spend the rest of her life waiting for Christmas for him to kiss her?
This certainly wasn't the type of thing you read about in dating books, not that she had any of course… (The one hidden under the bed didn't count, or the one disguised as an old teapot in the back of her hall closet).
'Dear Agony Aunt- I love a werewolf who I KNOW loves me and tells me NOT to love him even though I do. He's going to get himself killed now and I want him to live so I can spend the rest of my days snogging and (hopefully) getting sexed out for the rest of eternity with him - what should I do?'
Tonks for an answer hit the mental instant replay button in her head of the kiss they had shared in the snow. It didn't give her any ideas of what to do, but it was nice to reminisce about all the same.
Suddenly there came a shrill whistling noise from the coffee table, Tonks rolled over on the couch and frowned as she realized what it was.
Her present from Mad-Eye Moody this year consisted of a large sneakoscope. Tonks had one once before but she had lost it ages ago to the clutter in her house. She had been nagging Mad-Eye to get her a present for this Christmas for ages because he seemed to feel that gift-giving at this time was year was simply a convenient excuse for enemies to send poisoned or cursed packages. She had sent him a nice eye patch this year and also a copy of the book, 'Social elegance: Manners, Conversation and Charm for the Wizarding gentleman' (hoping that he might take the hint and get to work on his atrocious social skills-) but she had a feeling that they were both probably already a nice pile of ashes from a furious curse or two-
It took her a moment to find the whistling sneakoscope, as it was buried under some colourful wrapping paper- but when she did she frowned.
It was lit up and flashing as it spun about in her hand- an enemy was nearby?
Mad-Eye had to have gotten it from Dung or something. The thing was obviously malfunctioning- there was nobody around-
Suddenly a there was a loud bang out in the street and Tonks jumped to her feet- wand out as she ran to the window.
Some overturned dustbins rolling around the snowy street. Probably just a cat. She was getting paranoid. Mad-Eye would be proud.
She was just about to turn away again when the street lights illuminated something in the snowy street that made her heart stop and her mouth go dry-
Footprints.
From a dark alley to her front doorstep and back to the alley again. Mr. Rajit her muggle neighbor from across the street was cursing angrily as he leaned out his window, he apparently had been startled too by the loud noise and gone to investigate.
She opened the window and leaned outside a bit.
"What happened?" she called out.
"I heard a couple arguing earlier in the street but by the time I went outside to tell them off for being so noisy I saw a man by your dustbins-"
Tonks who had been grateful Mr. Rajit couldn't see her blushing in the winter darkness suddenly felt her heart stop.
"A man?" she called back.
"Yes-" Mr. Rajit said in his thick accent, "A tall, gangly man with long hair. Looked dodgy."
"Oh." Tonks said. It was really all she could think of to say. Despite all the terrifying thoughts flying through her mind, she was oddly calm.
"When I shouted, he ran." Mr. Rajit said, pointing to the dark alley. "I would lock your doors tonight if I were you young miss Tonks."
"Right…will do."
"Happy Christmas miss Tonks!"
"Yeah…you too, Mr. Rajit."
He shut his window and Tonks took one more look around the dark street before shutting her own. She locked it.
Come'on Tonks, you're an auror- think rationally.
Someone had been watching her and Remus from the alley and afterwards nearly gotten to her front door if it weren't for the dustbins.
Who would want to get me?
She started laughing softly as the answer came immediately to mind,
Oh, a few crazy family members on my Mum's side, a group of tattooed loonies, a bald villain, half of the Ministry-
She carefully edged to the window again and looked about the darkened street and then stared at the alley wondering if someone was still there….waiting…watching…
Suddenly she noticed something- the sneakoscope was silent.
Her anti-intruder jinxes would defiantly pick something up if someone tried to break in, the sneakoscope seemed better than she would have originally believed-
Still though, stay on guard…always stay on guard. 'Constant vigilance', as Mad-Eye would tell you…
What bothered her more than anything was that she had no idea who the intruder was. Not even a remote clue or hint.
With a sigh she turned and picked up her mini fallen Christmas tree that was lying on the floor. If Remus knew she was being watched he probably would have stopped everything he was doing to come watch her- for a moment she entertained the notion of sending a patronus to him and telling him she was being watched...possibly at his own fault…
But no. The stupid prat would continue to be stupid and she'd just have to wait till next Christmas to get another snog.
Remus should've known at this point that she wasn't as helpless as she might seem. Everyone knew Metamorphous could change themselves to fit a situation and this time was no exception. Tonight had given her a whole new perceptive on the 'Remus problem'-
'Tis the season of giving. And the stupid holiday lotion gift exempted-Remus Lupin had given her the best gift in the world.
The gift of hope. She knew what she had to do...
Since Remus wouldn't, she was going to hold onto hope for them both now.
Author's note: A rather short, pointless chapter, I know. Sorry. I'm expecting to get the next chapter up within the next day or two though-
Luckily Part II is winding to a dramatic close so that Part III which is much more fun can take off. I'm hoping to have the next six chapters up soon so I can dive into Part III.