PREVIOUSLY: AMANDA FOUND OUT SHE WAS PREGNANT.
Two days later, earlier than what the doctors had suggested - but not soon enough for the impatient and unwilling to stand still and rest - blonde, Fin took Amanda back home. However, before the grand escape from that "prison", they paid the gynaecologist a last minute visit before heading home, for a last check and a small briefing that the parents-to-be certainly couldn't decline.
The doctor was Gloria, a fifty year old Latina, with a thick body shape and an afro hair do. She was cheerful and relaxed and thankfully Amanda warmed up to her from minute one of meeting her. Unlike most doctors she had no intention of making the blonde feel caged, trapped in a situation she would only get out of in several months. She would treat pregnant women like any other and she felt like being pregnant was a blessing and not a burden. That point of view along with her great sense of humor made it easy for Amanda to make the decision to choose her and stick with her til the end.
Gloria knew who she had to deal with from the start. She was the one who examined Amanda for the very first time two days ago. She could tell the blonde was a tough little lady, with that dead serious look in her eyes that simply and succinctly stated: "Don't fuck with me." She knew her newest patient was a cop and so was the father, so she was prepared for an unconventional pregnancy period.
"So Amanda, do you have any questions about the procedures and the things that need to be done from now on? You wanna ask anything specific? Fire away! Pun intended!"
She joked, congratulating herself for what seemed to her as a brilliant connection. Fin forced himself to laugh along, so as not to insult her but he was worried about his fiancé who hadn't moved an inch the whole time.
"Mandy?" Fin laid his hand and touched Amanda's shoulder, where her hair, were gently placed.
"No..i'm all set. You were very…descriptive and informative. Thank you." Amanda was quick to reply and looked both the doctor and Fin with a quick look, just for both of them to confirm that she was just fine.
The truth was though that Amanda hadn't heard a word of what the doctor had just said. She would focus on Gloria's lips and see them moving, creating words and phrases, posing for a quick smile or a joke but her mind was travelling so far away that she wasn't able to participate in whatever was happening in that room. The sounds were blurry and from afar. All it took was the sound of those very first words Gloria had begun with: "You're not alone anymore…" That moment it felt like she fell inside a rabbit hole and travelled to another land in another time.
"It wont be just you anymore." Those were the exact words her mother had used to announce to the little one that she was expecting company. Amanda was turning two years old and she couldn't possibly acknowledge the mechanisms behind the coming of a new baby, so she was thrilled that she was gonna have a little brother or sister to play with an didnt ask any questions. In that fragile age, when toddlers discover their own identity Amanda had become the bigger sister and she took upon that role ever since. At that moment when Kim was born, she stopped being the center of attention – whatever amount of attention they gave her anyway- and begun to grow old on autopilot.
She took a big breath and looked away again as Fin was already up from his seat and had offered his hand for a warm gesture. Gloria took a glance of the blonde and instantly made up an excuse for the father to leave them two alone for a private conversation. She even gave Fin a shy look in order to convince him that it was about "female" issues which shouldn't be of his concern. Fin bought it and made his way out of the office, leaving his girl behind who felt like a toddler, frustrated on the first day at day-care without momma and daddy.
"Amanda can you sit for a minute so that we can talk?"
"Yeah sure…what do you wanna tell me?"
"Question is what YOU wanna tell me."
"I…'m…not sure what you're referring to." Amanda tilted her head in curiosity.
"Look Amanda… I've been doing this job for too long and I can tell you that the alpha and omega of a good and smooth pregnancy is the mother's psychology state. I couldn't help but notice you are struggling with something inside you. If you have any reason to feel frustrated or depressed you should let me know."
Amanda chuckled and shook her head. She took both her hands and palmed her face leaving a small prolonged groan.
"It's nothing new doctor. It's just that this whole pregnancy thing woke up some… unpleasant memories from my past; memories that shaped me and keep haunting me from time to time. I'm learning how to deal with them and I've done a lot of work on that lately so there is nothing to worry about….really."
"Well I am not a therapist but I can tell you this is the best way to go. You must keep in mind that during this time in your life your emotional state will experience some turbulence from the hormonal changes in your body that will certainly add to your stress. I know your job is difficult and dangerous shall I add?"
"Yeah, this is one of the things that worry me the most; my safety at work."
"What are the other things?"
"I wouldn't wanna waste your time with my family stuff."
Amanda tried to stand but Gloria kindly urged her to remain sited and elaborate more on those issues.
"I just feel like I've been a mom since I can remember myself and I was kinda hoping I could only have myself to take care of at some point…and now…I will become a real mom and there is no getting out of that one. I mean, there is no turning back…and it kinda scares me. Last time someone told me I was expecting company hell-fire broke out."
"What makes you think that things will turn out the way they did back then?"
"I don't know… I guess I have this certain feeling."
"Which is only based on memories…not in knowing what the future holds; for all you know you may end up loving being a mom...a real mom and not just…what I assume from your words…a bigger sister?"
"Yes, a bigger sister with a sibling that counts for a dozen. I'm just…tired of working hard for other people's behalf. What kind of mother will I become if I'm too tired to care about my own baby? I don't wanna end up blaming it for my own life."
"Have you had these thought before?"
"Yes I have many times and I discard them every single time but I'm getting tired of them coming back to me. It's like something triggers them."
"You mean something like what just happened?; The stress of not living for yourself anymore?"
"Yes…I guess…yeah that was it this tine."
"Let me tell you a little something Amanda. When you first came in here two days ago, bleeding, unaware of your pregnancy I knew you were a tough girl. I could tell because I was also once a tough young lady. I came to America on a fishing boat from Cuba and I struggled so much to build a life on my own here. At some point I made my own family and like you I was so tired. The prospect of a life full of work and raising a kid on my own made me think about giving up at first. But, I can tell you those little creatures give you a reason to get out of bed every morning…to become a better person…it works better then therapy to be honest."
Amanda smiled and fought really hard not to cry. She wanted to save some of her dignity anyway.
"As for your strength to put that baby first and keep putting yourself second i can tell you , you still have a lot of strength so don't worry about running out of it. When I first examined you, when I first told you about the baby you had that look on your face that gave away your shock and your fears. Once the bleeding wouldn't stop and you were about to lose the baby that toughness and raw aggression gave their place for a fragile and vulnerable expression. Just in seconds you became a mother lion whose baby is ripped out of her arms. Your mother instincts instantly transformed you into a real female and not a die hard ranger. That's when I knew I wanted to be your doctor."
"I know i will love it with al my heart. i will never treat it wrong." Amanda cried out loud.
"I know you won't, and you do too."
Amanda, who was already emotional from the doctor's speech, set a few tears and exhaled with felt so blessed to have that talk with Gloria no matter how much she hated being in that position. She needed that boost more than ever and hearing those words from another woman was something that she needed so badly all this time.
Fin was always a great listener and someone who would help her with that journey she had begun inside her in search of the real Amanda and not the product of her family. However, what she needed more was a female perspective and that was something she lacked. The more she would think about it the more she would realize that in that period on her life that was just beginning she needed her mother more than ever and more than anyone else. Gloria's affection and motherly love made it obvious to her that unless she would fix her relationship with her mother she would never find peace inside to raise her own baby. If anyone could make Amanda feel adequate as a mother that would be her own mother's word of confidence and she felt that she owed her that.
Amanda walked out of the office, calm and confident, having managed to climb another mountain on her way to healing her past wounds.
"Are you ok Amanda?" Fin asked her again and brought her closer to him.
"Yes…baby…I'm great. Gloria and I had an interesting talk and I will tell you all about it when we finally get back home, but first I should have something to eat. I'm starting to feel a little hungry."
She took the piece of paper Gloria had handed to her with a suggested diet she could follow in order to gain the right amount of pounds, stay fit and at the same time built a healthy baby. Fin stared at her with adoration and pride. Amanda was gearing up, slowly but steadily getting into mommy mode and it looked like she was gonna have a lot of fun with it.
It was time to go home now.
Fin parked the car and quickly jumped on the street. He hoped on the other side of the car and opened the door for Amanda to get out.
"Hmmm my gentleman…I should get pregnant more often if you're gonna be treating me like a princess."
"Like I haven't been doing that already!" He joked.
"No…no I'm kidding. You've been doing all this all this time."
She got out of the car, came closer to him and gave him a big kiss on the lips. It seemed as though ages had passed since the last time he received such a kiss from her and he accepted it with open arms.
"Hmmm you really shouldn't be getting me all worked up; you heard the doctor. No woo-hooing for a the rest of the week and I believe "proceed with caution" was her advice for afterwards.
"Well she saw that we wouldn't take no for an answer so I guess she had to say something…I mean it is her job to set the rules for us."
"Rules are made to be broken…" He whispered in a sassy tone and held onto her tightly. After a little thinking though he took a step back.
"Ugh I feel guilty for feeling horny right now. I mean he or she is in there and she is feeling everything. I feel so dirty."
"We have some time before she grows ears and hears our dirty talk though right?" Amanda added and laughed but immediately became aware of the situation.
"We're not the first to have a baby Fin. I mean… all couples find a way to live and have a sex life though that period. We'll make it work. Don't think like that. We're not doing anything wrong. What she…or he is feeling right now is how much daddy and mommy love each other and how happy daddy makes his, her mommy."
"Daddy is the happiest man on earth right now. I wish there was a way for our baby to feel that as well."
They remained hugged in the middle of the pavement.
That day they spent it mostly in bed, hugging and kissing, looking at the pictures of the baby, goofing around about the future. Amanda was feeling more and more confident that this could really work out just fine. the next morning found both of them lying in each other's arms , with jenny sleeping next to them.
11 am - There was a knock on the door
"Detective Rollins?" An unknown man knocked on the door and rang the doorbell as a sign that he had a pressing reason to be there. Amanda opened the door after putting a shirt on her.
"Yes, who are you."
"Detective Morrison ma'am. I am here to take you." He walked up to her and tied to steer her out of the house. Amanda looked at him sceptically and so did Fin who instinctively stood in front of his woman and brought his body between her and the unidentified man.
"Who are you asking for and why?" Fin said in a hostile tone.
"Step aside sir, we're here for detective Rollins. You need to follow us to the precinct ma'am. We can do it the easy way or the hard way. We wouldn't wanna handcuff you."
"Excuse me?" Amanda barked at him and made her way past Fin. She had just switched mode, going from mommy to badass in just a second.
"Detective Rollins, you leave me no choice. You are arrested for the murder of special agent Eli McGraw."
Amanda's face turned pale and she was in the verge of fainting but there was no time to think about how weak she had been feeling since the accident or to even consider being careful not to stretch her stitches on both her forehead and her chin.
"Do you hear yourself? Eli isn't dead. We talked not more than three days ago."
"He was found dead this morning in his hotel room. Step inside the car detective. We'll explain everything on the way to the precinct."
He grabbed her hand and led her to the police car. She didn't fight back. She knew it would only make things worse and all she could do was wait and see what had really happened. This whole scenario seemed overly ridiculous to her.
"I'm going with you and you'd better take your hands off her if you wanna hold on to that nose of yours. My fiancé is two months pregnant and just came home from the hospital. I will play along with your little parody here but once this whole thing is over we'll have a serious tall you and me."
"Are you threatening me detective?"
"Well I guess you're not that dumb anyway. You only lack some investigating skills but no one is perfect I guess."
"We'll see if you'll be this ironic when you see in which position your fiancé is in…let's go."
The cars drove to the precinct and the captain along with Liv was already there.
"What the hell happened?" Amanda addressed it to Cragen and he gave her one of his investigating stares that made her even more uncomfortable and frustrated her more than the arrest itself.
"It's ok Amanda, we'll get to the bottom of this. Don't worry about anything ok?" Liv quickly added once she saw the blonde losing her color.
"Something shady is going on here and I'm gonna find out what. In the meantime I want you to keep quiet." Cragen assured her and walked her into the precinct.
"Step aside captain. This isn't your business." Another detective had joined the posy; this time he was an IAB detective.
"Eli, pick it up now! Pick it up you son of a bitch. Grow a set and pick up the phone you hear me? You will pay for this. I swear if you ruin my life you are a dead man."
Everyone in the room was silent, allowing Amanda's voice to echo inside the empty room. Amanda knew the exact words she had used during that rant over the phone so she knew in advance that she was up against a shitty situation. She kept her jaw tightened, gritting her teeth, taking deep breaths aggressively through her nose. Her eyes were narrowed and the look in her eyes was stone cold.
"This is just a matter of speech detective; and it doesn't prove anything."
Amanda commented on the recorded voice message, keeping a straight voice as much as she could. She was furious but acting like an en-caged animal would only make things worse and he knew it.
"It gives you motive, detective." The assigned detective replied in an ironic and glorious tone, standing right above her head.
There was an internal affairs agent right next to him, keeping quiet, smiling with that arrogant attitude, thriving in his expensive suit and his shinny shoes. He was thrilled to have nailed Rollins down. That was the second time IAB had been looking into her; first time with the gambling addiction, not to mention the incident the previous year when she had shot and killed a Russian pimp in a public location. She had received a warning back then and now, with being the prime suspect of a murder of a special agent, her record was bound to be looked into word by word.
"You are a smart detective. You know this looks ugly. Three days after that call, agent McGraw is found dead; murdered in his hotel room by someone who apparently knew him considering the fact that the deceased let the killer inside."
"I haven't spoken to him or seen him since then; since the day I made that phone call."
"You mean after he caused some turbulence in your personal life, causing you to speak so… how should I put it…politely on the phone."
He took a glance at the IAB detective and they both laughed at that subtle joke.
"This is just a coincidence. I cannot be responsible for whatever happened to Eli McGraw."
"Yes I'm sure this is all a huge mistake and you're here for nothing. I 'm gonna ask you again and this time I expect a straight answer detective. Where were you this morning between 5 and 6 am? You can either confess now or wait for the hotel's security cameras to show your pretty face. We're already looking into them you know."
"I was home, sleeping…resting…doctor's orders." Amanda answered in a hostile way.
Fin was hearing the entire conversation from the outside of the interrogation room. He had his hands buried deep inside his pockets, standing still, leaning against the wall. He was staring at Amanda right through the window, hearing her speak. He kept a frown on his face the whole time, looking busy, calculating, putting the pieces of the puzzle together, connecting the dots using everything he knew-and it wasn't much. All he knew was that Eli was found dead in his bed, half naked, that morning. The news had struck him like lightning. Just when things were gonna get back to normal for them, Amanda was handcuffed and dragged to the station.
That son of a bitch Eli was causing trouble from the grave now. What a big mess that was. The famous Eli McGraw murdered. He and everyone else knew this was a big leak of blood in the sea and would most definitely attract some big white sharks. IAB was one of them and he despised them as much as she did. They were gonna tear her past apart to make this charge stick and they were gonna find out about their relationship too sooner or later.
Some of the fellow officers in the svu knew they were involved. Even if they didn't know before, they would definitely find out now. Fin wasn't worrying so much about that, especially now that they were gonna have a baby together. There was no way to keep this a secret now anyway. Most of the cops knew about Amanda's pregnancy already. If the accident hadn't occurred they would probably find out months later but everything happened so fast because of that unfortunate event.
Some of them were shocked. They didn't even know she was seeing anyone and being pregnant totally ruined their chances with her. Some were eager to find out who the secret lover was and if he was also the father of the baby. Amanda had always kept her love life hidden so no one knew for sure what her relationship status was so far. There were also those, men and women who were shocked to find out that she was into men.
The baby bump was definitely gonna send the message that she was involved with someone and if that wouldn't do the trick Fin had thought about putting a ring on her finger to mark his territory. However, that wasn't the right time to be having thoughts about picking engagement rings and buying baby stuff. Amanda was in trouble and along with her so was his little baby.
"When was the last time you saw him again?"
"I told you I saw him that same day I made the phone call. A few hours prior to that to be exact."
"And you're always willing to be exact right? So you won't have a problem telling us what went on in that parking lot that day…right"
Amanda froze. How did they know that? They were too fast and that scared her a lot.
"We talked briefly at the parking lot. I was about to take my car and he found me there. He had something to tell me. We talked and we went our own way."
"That thing you talked about had to be something serious…because we have you on tape, pushing him away after an… what seemed to be an unwanted grab. Can you tell us a little bit more about that?"
Fin was holding on by a thread. He couldn't picture that scum bag touching his woman especially knowing that she was carrying his seed. If that piece of crap was alive he would kill him with his one hands.
Amanda scoffed.
"What is there to tell? I just stepped away from him. I may have pushed his hand away from me. I don't remember clearly. I just came back from the hospital as you can see. I have a concussion."
"Yes we can see that detective and we're very sorry. But let's get back to the case shall we?" The IAB detective intervened and put on that fake sleazy smile.
"Because of him…right? You went through all this, you and your baby because of him." Detective Morrison insisted.
"I had a car accident, detective. We call them accidents for a reason. They just happen. No one is to blame." Amanda shot back maintaining a calm, frozen and mildly aggressive attitude. "So this is it? This is all you've got? A regular phone message that can only prove that I was pissed and i ranted over the phone, like half a billion people on earth do all the time? Oh I forgot about the video…yeah it is a major crime to reject a clingy man. Well in that case I should have received the death penalty cause i have done that a lot in my life…it's a jungle out there, detectives. I'm sure you've had your fair share of rejections right?"
"It's not that simple detective. You see none of us ended up being half naked, in bed with a broken scull."
"I don't appreciate that look detective. You need to tone it down a bit. You two are acting like you just unveiled a major prostitution ring or an infamous serial killer. I am here as a suspect, so unless you have more solid evidence than childish indications then I suggest you change your tone with me. I know my rights."
"Yes she does; and she wont be speaking with you without her lawyer. You're done gentlemen." Captain Cragen busted into the room and ended the interrogation.
"It's ok captain. I've got nothing to hide here. What worries me is that the real killer is somewhere out there and not as easy to track down as the "armed and dangerous" Amanda Rollins."
Amanda said emphatically, making fun of the overzealous detectives.
"Yes, we are overzealous…especially when it's about one of our own. You should know that detective. We wont stop until we put that murderer behind bars; remember that. We're not over."
They stepped out of the room and Amanda with Donald followed as well.
"Are you ok?"
"Yeah, I'm ok captain. I think it's time to take my pills though. I need some water; and something to eat would be great. I feel kinda weak. I don't know if it's cause the baby or the injuries or both."
"Don't worry I'll get you a sandwich asap. Fin was right out here a few minutes ago. I told him to get going. I called everyone for a meeting at my office. We'll get you out of this mess, don't you worry ok? We got this."
An hour later Cragen, Fin, Nick and Liv all rushed into Cragen's office, anxious to know what the hell was going on and what they could do.
"Ok here is the deal. Rollins is in a tough situation and the more we allow this to continue the more this case will affect her."
"We can't touch this captain." Fin noted.
"Officially no…we can't go anywhere near it; unofficially…" He finished his phrase by raising his eyebrows, noting the necessity to make this case their top priority.
"This is too much captain. I mean…first you , now Rollins. IAB certainly has a thing for svu."
"They want a sacrificial lamb and Amanda seems to be the perfect candidate. She has prior relationship with the victim and a motive. On top of that she can't find a rock solid alibi." Olivia replied.
Fin was silent, just walking around the office waiting for Cragen's orders.
"We know they have a cell phone message and a tape of their encounter at the parking lot. I wanna know if there is more. The time of death is between 5 and 6 am right? Amanda claims she was at home, sleeping."
The captain turned his head to face Fin, hoping that he could enlighten them.
"You…were with her last night? Was she home at sunrise?"
"No…she wasn't…" Fin licked his lips and finally managed to spit is out.
Liv was caught off guard and so was Nick.
"So…she lied." Nick observed.
"Yeah she did. I guess once she heard about the time of death she must have realized it wasn't gonna help her if she would tell the truth."
"You think?" Liv sighed and rubbed her chin.
"Where was she?" Cragen asked, hoping that the answer wouldn't be as disastrous as he feared it would be.
"I don't know for sure. I think she was out for a walk."
"At 5am?" Nick responded sarcastically.
"Yes. She does stuff like that. I've been living with her so I would know that."
Fin gave Nick a mean look for being a smart ass and Nick nodded back, acknowledging he had crossed the line.
"She must have felt the need to go for walk to get some fresh air. She was in her running gear from what I could tell."
"How do you know she wasn't going any place else? I mean, for all you know she could have taken the car." Nick replied.
"She took Jenny with her as usual. Besides I saw the car keys on the counter when I woke up and she was still missing."
"You didn't ask where she went when she came back?" Nick shot back.
"No Nick I didn't. I know it is hard for you to accept it but some men don't like to spy on their woman. There is a little thing that's called trust. It goes with that other little thing that is called personal space.
"Take that back! I am here to help ok? If you don't want my help just let me know and leave my family issues out of this!"
"Then stop acting like she did it. All that attitude gives me the feeling that you have doubts and I don't need that.
"I don't have doubts about Amanda ok? All I 'm worried about is that no one will believe her. We need an alibi and she just lied about being at home with you. How long do you think is it going to take before they find out she was out of the house? Huh? It will ruin her credibility." Nick shouted angrily.
"Don't you think I know that? Can I help it if she took that walk? She is not the same Amanda she was a few days ago. She needs some time to adjust to the new situation. She has got a lot on her plate you know."
"Everyone just calm down." Cragen shouted at both of them.
"I know man…i'm sorry. I just cant believe this is happening. By the way…I know this isn't the right place or the right time but…congratulations… for the baby. Must be thrilled to have a little one huh?" Nick wished Fin and extended his arm to pat his shoulder. Everyone was on the edge so there were no bad feelings between the detectives.
"Thanks Nick. I'm sorry too. I'm so touchy right now."
"We understand Fin. It's not only Amanda in that cell. Your baby is in there too. You have every right to be feeling angry." Liv tried to calm him down and Fin nodded in response. He needed to relax and not push himself so hard. Ever since that day at the hospital when Amanda and the baby were in danger he hadn't had the time to recuperate. Small aches at the left side of his chest were still bothering him occasionally but he tried not to think about it too much at the moment. One thing was for sure though; he would have to check up on his health at some point, when all this chaos was over.
"Ok so she walked at the park with her dog. Did anyone see her? Can someone confirm she was in Queens and not in Soho?" Cragen said to Fin.
"I don't know. Maybe…" Fin was dispirited.
"We're not gonna let anything happen to Amanda, Fin. Trust me. We will find a way to get her out of this. We cleared the captain didn't we?; and we had some big fish to fight against. This will be a piece of cake…you'll see."
"Ok then." Donald stood up and put an end to that group meeting. "Let's get going; and remember…I want you to be thorough but I also want you to be discrete."
"Copy that cap." Fin walked out of the office first with Liv and Nick on his tail. He was feeling more confident and optimistic after Liv's inspirational speech.
The blonde was sitting , restless, inspecting every inch of her cell with that exploratory look of her.
The taste she was having from the other side of the law was bitter and she couldn't make herself comfortable no matter how much she tried. She felt like a fish out the fish-bowl. Naked without her badge on, not to mention her precious gun that was taken away from her. Dressed in a pair of blue jeans and a button up shirt, stripped from her dignity, she waited for her lawyer to come, hoping this nightmare would soon be over. Her baby was her only concern. When her anger was about to get the most of her she would force herself to recall the first time she heard the heartbeat. When she felt like crying, pissed at her damn bad luck, wondering when that chain of unfortunate events in her life would end, she would bring the ultrasound picture in her head and then Fin's delighted face when he put that little picture in his wallet to keep it with him.
She took a deep breath and light deluged her soul. Everything had to be fine. It just had to be. Without even realizing it she started smiling. What a surreal image that was. Some of the criminals in custody from the nearby cells were looking at her sceptically.
The gate opened and a cop followed by a lawyer walked up to her cell. The lawyer introduced himself and informed her that he was there to help her.
"I need to speak with my client." He was a middle aged man, well dressed, holding a briefcase in his right hand and his coat in his left hand. He smiled at her for a moment and then cut to the chase.
"I need to know everything about your relationship with the victim. Even a tiny detail could be of help to me and it could also break the case if you hide it from me. I believe you're an experienced detective so I don't need to remind you of how things work in the criminal justice system."
"I understand counselor."
For the next hour mister Iverson and Amanda had a long talk about Eli; starting from the minute those two met until the day she saw him for the last time. Amanda tried to remember every aspect of their relationship in the past including mutual friends and acquaintances, possible common enemies or people who would benefit from his death.
"The fact that the crime happened after your return home from the hospital is the main clue that has turned everyone against you. The fact that he is the abettor of your accident doesn't help either. On the contrary, it gives you motive. The only thing that we could use is your pregnancy. What kind of sane mother-to-be would destroy her life just to get back at her ex lover whom she had erased from her life for over a decade? Thankfully the crime scene hasn't given them anything to work with. There is no DNA or fingerprints, no eye witnesses put you in the crime scene. Security tapes from his hotel are being processed as we speak and so does his ipad. His car here in New York was a rental with a gps system on it so we will probably take a nice look at his route from the day he came to New York until the day of his death. You say you haven't met him since that day at the parking lot right?"
"That's correct, yes."
"The hotel is very far from your neighbourhood but they will check traffic cameras to see if your car was anywhere near that area around the time of the crime. I need to know exactly where you were this morning. You told them you were home, sleeping. Is that true? Was there anyone with you?; preferably someone who wouldn't lie to protect you.
"I…I wasn't home like I told them. I was out…alone. I know this looks ugly and that's why I lied. I guess i thought they would get off my back soon but I was wrong. They have no one else but me and they intend to keep me. At least until someone else fits the profile of the killer. They can't risk letting their only suspect walk out of here. This case has already made a major buzz. The entire law enforcement system is thirsty for justice. That being said I believe I don't stand a chance trying to hide the truth."
"No, you don't. So I need an honest answer. Now before it is too late. The damage is already done but we can still fix things as much as we can."
"I was out. I couldn't sleep so I took my dog out for a walk. I needed sometime to think things through."
"About that walk…you live in…"
"Jackson Heights…" She filed him in in a hurry.
"…and you left the apartment around…"
"5:30am… I believe…yes I remember checking my phone on the way out and i remember the time vividly."
"Ok so Jackson Heights to Soho is not a small ride. I'd say around 30 minutes… 40 if you use public transportation."
"I guess you're right. I didn't take my car though."
"Yes and that's a good someone confirm that? Are you living alone? "
"I live with my...future husband." The word husband coming out of her mouth was so surreal and made her pause for a second. "...and yes i think he can verify that. I believe he must have seen the car keys. They were left on the counter."
"We can prove that there is no way you could have gone all the way to Soho in just thirty minutes, presuming that the crime did happen between 5 and 6am as we were told. Aide from the ride over there it takes time to go up to his room, have a fight and kill did you return home?"
"Around 7 am."
"Did anyone see you returning?"
"Yes…my…detective Tutuola was there. We had breakfast together."
"…and you were still dressed in the same running gear right?"
"Yes…of course I was. Why would I change my clothes during a walk at the park?"
"Exactly…I need to see those clothes asap."
"You'll check them for blood stains…"
"Yes we will… there is no way in the world someone would smash the victim's head like that and get away without any blood on. Don't you worry about a thing, detective. They have nothing. It will all work out just fine. I will see you at arraignment." He turned around, grabbed his briefcase and the door opened before him.
"Counselor…do you know if… his family…" Amanda stalled him.
"They know. They've been told. Detective Morrison, leading the investigation made sure they were informed. I think the wife is on her way here but I could be wrong. I am more concerned about you detective."
"Of course…I just… I wanted to know. I used to know her and… she didn't deserve this. Neither did his kids. They were good kids; as far as I can remember."
"What were their names? Alison...Brian and...oh yes the lovely Michelle." Amanda tried to recall their names and faces after so many years.
Alison McGraw was a redhead woman, just about to turn forty seven born and raised in Houston Texas, working as a paediatrician. She was his wife since 1986 and their conjugal life was full of ups and downs, break ups and make ups, most of which were only attempted for the sake of their children. At that point no one knew for sure if she should be called his wife or his ex wife. No one was sure about the current status of their relationship.
Back in 1999 when Amanda and Eli came closer to each other, he had sworn to her that he and his wife were separated and Amanda had no reason to doubt him. He was living alone in Atlanta at the time, but they both knew he was gonna pick up and leave as soon as his employment contract would expire. Amanda wasn't interested in the future and she never asked for further details. He would often fly over to Houston but he would always tell her he was visiting his children and that he had moved out of their house. The nineteen year old Amanda worshipped him and took his word for everything he had told her. She and Alison had never met. Amanda had only seen Alison once when she came to Atlanta for a conference.
Eli and Alison had two kids, Michelle who was twenty seven years old and Brian who was twenty three. Those two were in shock when they were informed that their father was brutally murdered that morning. His son was speechless and his daughter almost had a nervous breakdown. Alison tried to stay calm and keep her family from falling apart. She took the first plane and she was gonna land in New York any minute now. Her children were gonna follow the next day.
His children were both adorable. She had seen pictures of them in his wallet, dozens of birthday pictures and Christmas Eve dinners. Eli had a scrapbook with him in Georgia and he had shared it with her. He was feeling homesick those five years that he spent away from his family and Amanda certainly kept him warm for the last three of them.
Back then, Amanda could only imagine how much his kids were missing him and she would encourage him to travel more often to see them. She had once talked with them over the phone, as their father's acquaintance of course and they had met her when they had come to see their father at a Christmas Eve in 2000. At the time he and Amanda were officially living together so the kids spent Christmas Eve with both of them. Whether they knew she was their father's girlfriend or not they never said a word and Amanda never got to find out. The year after that, Eli had to return home and she didn't follow him to Texas so she never got to meet them again.
She smiled when she remembered Michelle's laugh and Brian's teases. They were both good kids, all grown up now who wouldn't know what hit them. Michelle would have to be how old now? The blonde tried to calculate and she was pretty sure she would be twenty six or maybe twenty seven. Just a few years younger than her yet back then she was practically her step mom.
Amanda was always too mature for her age and even though Michelle was fourteen years old Amanda was feeling like the age gap between them was enormous. Michelle had always been the daddy's girl, pampered and a bit spoiled. She was his favorite one and he had no problem stating it; his little princess. Amanda admired Eli's devotion to his kids and she would feed off that love herself.
The more she would think about it- thinking was all she could do, locked in that cell for hours- she realized she always envied Michelle for having such a loving father. You see, Michelle was always gonna have him in her life and enjoy his love and affection forever, while Amanda was just another mistress to keep him warm at night. Her behaviour toward the kids varied from behaving like a real grown up -the way life had forced her to do from a young age- to approaching the kids like she was one of them; like she was their big sister.
She chuckled and leaned against the cell handrails. She grabbed them with both hands and rested her forehead on her left arm. Psychoanalysis was definitely the blonde's beloved hobby these days. She felt like she had been running away from her "redneck" past for too long and she slammed the door to her childhood's face so anxiously a long time ago. However, that door had forcedly opened again, bringing whatever she had chosen to forget with it. No matter how hard she had tried to put everything behind she kept finding herself looking into her past. This time she had to go back to her late teens and early twenties and disinter everything she had lived with Eli. The doors of her past were wide open again, whether she had caused it or not and she had to be brave and face her ghosts and hear what they were there to tell her, even if it meant that she would have to admit her own mistakes.
"Ugh Eli…good Lord…you're dead. This is unbelievable! How the hell did this happen to you? Just like that; you're gone." She talked to herself.
She touched her belly and rubbed affectionately. Matters such as life and death were really heavy for her now. How can someone carrying life inside her not gasp at the idea of death?
In the meantime CSU was turning the crime screen upside down, looking for anything that could help them determine the murder weapon. The hotel room was a mess, thrown clothes and personal items were scattered across the room. The hotel management was alert; frightened about the impact that incident would have on the 5 star hotel's refulgent reputation. Meanwhile, footage from surveillance cameras in the area surrounding the hotel were already being examined.
"Detective! We found something." Two officers, dressed in uniforms had been literally battling with garbage inside the garbage bins around the block, looking for anything that the perp could have gotten rid of after the murder.
"Come take a look at this! This could be the murder weapon right?"
Morrison took a good look at it, raised his eyes and looked both of them and smiled.
"Good job boys. I'll take that."
"Melinda, give me something." Fin had stormed to ME facility, waiting for Melinda to brief the assigned detectives. As soon as they were gone he followed Melinda into her office and asked for a favour.
"Melinda, please, I need to know what they know."
"You know this isn't your case Fin. Svu needs to stay out of this. If anyone sees you here you're gonna be in trouble."
"Do I look like giving a damn about getting in trouble? Come on now it's Amanda we're talking about."
"Yes I know. She is the prime suspect. You must be…worried."
"I am. We need all the help we can get."
"I understand that but you gotta let me do my job as well." Melinda raised her eyebrows, clearly not sharing the same concern with him about the young detective.
"I know you haven't exactly warmed up to Amanda but she means a lot to me Melinda. We are…"
"…involved. Yes I heard. I also heard she is pregnant. Is that true?"
"Yes it is. I'm gonna be a father for the second time."
Fin was straight forward with her like he always has been. Hiding behind his finger or playing with words was never his way of dealing with things no matter how uncomfortable he would feel.
Melinda goggled and gave him a bold look in the eyes. She was trying to happy for him; genuinely happy. After all , she was never delusional about their relationship even though there had been a few moments when the lines between friendship and romance were , deep inside she wished he wouldn't have chosen someone she could never compete with.
"I see. It's not like you…dating someone you work with. I guess there is a first time to everything."
Fin was feeling awkward and he could definitely feel Melinda's discomfort so he chose not to drag this unpleasant for her matter and get back to the case. Melinda grabbed the file and took a quick look.
"The victim sustains a severe wound at the back of his head which was probably the cause of his death. He also has plenty more bruises caused by a long curvy object; not sharp but heavy enough to kill someone if used with excessive power. I'm guessing either wooden or metallic. We're looking at a premeditated homicide here Fin. It was no accident. The good thing for your… partner is that there is no obvious connection that ties her to the crime. No DNA or fingerprints found on the body. Whoever the killer was, he was wearing gloves and was careful enough not to leave anything behind."
"Thank you Melinda. I appreciate this."
"Anytime Fin. That's what friends are for right?"
"You've always been a great friend to me Melinda." Fin tried to set the limits of their relationship and Melinda got the message. She turned around, heavy hearted and returned to her office.
Rollins was impatiently waiting for the arraignment when he heard footsteps and the noise became louder. She saw her lawyer walking in a rush.
"Detective Rollins I have some good . Warner examined the body and so far there is nothing that ties you to the case. One other thing. CSU thinks they found the murder weapon. It is a 1998 Worth EST softball bat, covered with blood. They found it at a trash can near the hotel. It wasn't the smartest move to leave it there. The killer is either not as clever as we think or he wanted us to find it. Either way we are going to have to wait and see what happens. They are going to examine the bat as soon as they can. Sadly they don't know who this bat belongs to so far. They are looking into the date it was purchased, its serial number…you know the drill. Hopefully some of the blood on it could be a match to our killer, if a struggle happened like we suspect."
Amanda felt a rush of blood top her head. Her throat dried out and her heartbeat increased dramatically.
"What kind of bat is…that?" She hesitated to ask.
"It's pink, with silver details."
Amanda was lost for words. This couldn't be happening. This was too premeditated to even seem like a simple coincidence.
"It has a signature on side..." Iverson informed her after flipping some pages to find the characteristics of the evidence.
"…and an "A" curved on the other side. Yeah…I know."
He raised his eyes to meet hers. She tilted her upper body and lifted her shoulders.
"It's my signature. This bat belongs to me."
STAY TUNED FOR PART TWO ;)
PLZ TELL ME IF YOU LIKED IT! I AM SO THRILLED ABOUT IT! I HAD SO MUCH FUN WRITING IT!