CHAPTER 19

Luke waited until the rest of the Rogues had disembarked from their X-wings before bringing his starfighter into the hangar. He'd had hours to consider what had really happened during their confrontation with the Executor, but he still wasn't ready to face the inevitable. He still wasn't ready to face Mara.

But he could no longer delay it.

He forced himself to concentrate on nothing else but the landing procedures as he flew into the graceful Mon Calamari starship. His pilots, including Mara, stood clustered around Wedge's X-wing, waiting for their commanding officer's words of consolation and wisdom. And all Luke wanted to do was run into his quarters and not come out for days.

He was assaulted with a thousand questions as soon as he climbed down the ladder but he ignored them, focusing instead on the white blur hurtling toward him. Leia practically jumped into his arms and squeezed him so tight that Luke had trouble breathing. Despite how troubled he felt, he couldn't help but smile at Leia's enthusiasm.

"Thank the Force you're safe," she murmured against him. "I was so worried!"

"Really? I couldn't tell."

She pulled away to smack him, then clutched him close again. "Stop it, Luke. It was awful not knowing what had happened to you…I had these horrible visions of what Vader would do to you…"

"Shhh," he soothed. "It's fine, Leia. I'm right here." But he hugged her just as tight.

After several long moments, he heard the sound of a throat clearing behind Leia. Han stood there uncomfortably. "Leia, the meeting's about to start."

"Thank you," she replied. "Luke, they want you to come to the Command briefing. I tried to get you out of it, but they insisted."

"It's okay, I figured they'd want to speak to me right away. Go ahead, I'll be right there, I just want to say something to them first." He gestured toward the Rogues watching them, and purposefully avoided looking at Mara.

"Of course." Leia stretched up on her toes to kiss his cheek, then walked out of the hangar alongside Han.

Luke took a deep breath and faced his pilots. His XO was the first to speak. "What happened out there, boss?"

"I have no idea," he lied. "Somehow the gravity well went offline. Perhaps the interdictor had a malfunction."

"It doesn't make sense; why didn't they just bring us in with their tractor beams right away?" Hobbie asked.

Luke shrugged. "Your guess is as good as mine."

"Well, I'm not complaining. That's the luckiest break I've ever gotten," Dack said.

"Why were you and Mara behind us?" Tycho asked.

Luke shifted awkwardly, still refusing to look at Mara even though he felt her emotions so clearly. "I stayed back to make sure everyone jumped safely. Mara's X-wing experienced a temporary malfunction. Thankfully it was fixed rather quickly and we were able to jump before the tractor beams went online."

"The Force really must've been with us," Zev said.

"Yeah," Luke murmured. "Anyway, I have to go to a Command briefing. I am hereby ordering you all to partake in some downtime. I'll schedule a briefing for later on tomorrow."

With the exception of Mara, the Rogues shuffled out of the hangar. She waited until everyone had left, then grabbed Luke's arm. Finally, he forced himself to meet her gaze.

She looked miserable. "I'm so sorry," she whispered. "I have no idea what to say."

"You don't have to say anything. I understand."

"But Luke…I should have told you everything…I was going to, I swear—"

"When were you going to tell me, Mara? Before or after I'd completely fallen for you?"

She stepped back, a deeply hurt look on her face. "That's not fair."

"No, it's not. But it's the truth, isn't it?"

"Luke, I—"

"Mara, I can't deal with this right now. I have to go talk to Command."

"I know, I just wanted to say that I'm so sorry—"

"I heard you the first time." Mara nodded, looking so small and pitiful, and so unlike the woman he'd heard face off against Darth Vader. Luke sighed. "Look Mara, I can't do this right now. Go hang out with the other Rogues. I'll find you when I'm ready to talk."

"Okay." She opened her mouth to say something else, then closed it, as if rethinking what she was going to say. Luke sighed again, realizing what she wanted to ask.

"Don't worry. I won't tell them what really happened. Your secret is safe with me."

She looked relieved. "Thank you. I don't deserve it." She leaned forward as if to kiss him but Luke turned away, unable to let her get so close. He walked away without saying another word.

He had never felt so horrible in his entire life.

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Mara stood in silence as Luke left the hangar. He had every right to feel the way he did, but it still hurt. She hadn't realized the extent of her feelings for Luke until she was about to lose him forever.

For the hundredth time since joining the Alliance, Mara cursed her old master. Even half a year removed from being the Emperor's Hand, Palpatine was still ruining her life.

But she couldn't blame him for everything. She had been dishonest. She had deceived Luke, Tycho, Leia, everyone else who gave her their trust. Even after confessing to Luke that she hadn't been a mere TIE fighter pilot, she still couldn't reveal the final piece of information, all because she'd been so scared of losing him before he was even hers.

There was nothing she could do to fix this. She could only wait, and hope that Luke could find it in his heart to forgive her.

But even if he could, Mara knew that nothing would ever be the same.

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"Commander Skywalker, it's a pleasure to see you alive," Mon Mothma opened the briefing.

Luke nodded at his commander in chief. "Thank you, ma'am. I'm very glad to be here as well."

"I apologize for having to pull you in for a briefing so soon, but it is imperative given the situation," General Cracken said.

"I understand." Luke certainly understood, of course, but that didn't make the situation any easier. He had to lie to Alliance Command, for a woman who had deceived them all.

For not the first time since Luke had joined the Alliance, he wished that Ben was there. Somehow Luke sensed everything that Mara felt—her deep and profound regret for having hidden the truth, and her immense fear that Luke, along with the rest of the Alliance, would now reject her. Despite everything Luke still cared for her deeply, and that was what hurt so much. His brain was telling him to forget about her, that she was a liar and if she had lied about her past, she could have lied about anything since she'd joined the Alliance. She could have been telling the truth to Vader. She could have decided to go back to the Alliance with Luke to further spy on them.

But his heart told him to listen to the Force, and the Force still told him to trust Mara, that he was meant to be with her. He was so confused.

"Can you tell us what happened, Commander Skywalker?" General Bryl asked.

Luke nodded at his direct superior. "The flight to Drunost went off without a hitch until we were approximately two hours from our destination. We abruptly dropped out of hyperspace and found ourselves confronted with an interdictor cruiser and the Super Star Destroyer Executor."

A murmur made its way across the briefing room. Mon Mothma and General Rieekan shared concerned looks.

"For some reason, no TIEs had been launched and the ships allowed Millennium Falcon to escape the gravity well and jump to hyperspace," Luke continued. "My conclusion was that the Executor was only after Rogue Squadron. I formulated a plan to take out the interdictor, but before we could get close to launch our torpedoes, the turbolasers fired on us. We were trapped between the Executor and the interdictor with nowhere to go. We assumed that their plan was to bring us in by tractor beam, but for some reason they didn't activate right away."

"How in the galaxy did you get out of that mess, son?" General Madine asked.

Luke glanced away from the former Imperial officer. It was too painful to look at the man, with the thoughts of Mara's deception so foremost in his mind. "The Force was with us. The gravity wells inexplicably went offline. We jumped to hyperspace without a second thought."

"Lieutenant Antilles stated that you and Lieutenant Jade did not arrive at the rendezvous point right away."

"That's correct. I waited until all the Rogues had jumped to hyperspace. Lieutenant Jade's X-wing experienced a technical problem, but thankfully the hyperdrive came back online right away."

"We'll need to examine her starfighter, to determine if there is a problem," General Bryl insisted.

Luke forced himself not to swallow uncomfortably. "Yes, sir. Of course." He glanced to his right. Leia was watching him with a curious look. He looked away, uncomfortable under her scrutiny.

"We will also need to examine your flight recorders," General Cracken said.

"Of course, sir."

This was bad. This was very bad. If Starfighter Command examined their X-wings and Intelligence analyzed their flight recorders, the truth would be exposed. Mara needed to confess to Cracken before that could happen.

Before he could leave to warn Mara, Mon Mothma began speaking again, her usually soft voice tinged with bitterness. "We heard there was a spy among your ranks, Commander Skywalker."

The pain evident on Luke's face was completely genuine. "Yes, ma'am. We believe that Lieutenant Darillian was passing information to the Empire. He flew unchallenged into the Executor upon our arrival."

The entire table looked crestfallen, especially General Madine. "I'm sorry, commander," he said. "Being sold out by one of your own men…I know how that feels."

"Thank you, sir. I'm more worried about my pilots right now. If you don't mind, I'd like to get back to them as soon as possible."

"Of course, commander," Mon Mothma said. "But we have one more item to discuss, if you don't mind."

Luke nodded.

"Because of Lieutenant Darillian's deception, Echo Base's location has been compromised. I'm sorry, General Muvunc, General Rieekan—but we will have to find a new location."

The Ordnance and Supply director nodded sadly. "It's a pity. We've done a lot of good work on that base."

"Yes, we have," Rieekan agreed. "I propose we break up Command for the time being, and take leave at some of the smaller bases until we can find a new location."

"I agree, general," Mon Mothma said. "All those in favor?" Everyone around the table raised their hands. "It's settled then."

Luke raised his hand. "Chief Mothma, the Rogues are more than willing to begin the search for another base as soon as possible."

"Thank you commander."

"I just have one question for Commander Skywalker, Chief Mothma," Leia said. Her voice was soft, causing everyone in the room to sit still so they could hear her properly.

"Of course, Councilor Organa."

Leia looked Luke straight in the eye. "Were you able to sense anything regarding Lieutenant Darillian's deception?"

Luke held her gaze for only a moment, before looking down at the table and playing with his datapad. He couldn't understand why Leia was asking him such a thing, and in front of the entire Alliance Command staff. Luke had wondered several times on the trip through hyperspace why he hadn't been able to sense Darillian's betrayal. He was usually such a good judge of character. It bothered him profusely that his lack of training in the Force could have led to a disaster.

The room was silent, waiting for his answer. "Unfortunately, I did not," he said quietly. "I don't know why I couldn't sense his treachery."

"I see." Leia's face was set in stone as she turned back to Chief Mothma. "That is all, ma'am."

The meeting was dismissed and Luke hurried out of the room before anyone else could ask him any more questions. He rushed through the corridors to Mara's room, so concerned with fixing Mara's problem that he no longer considered Leia's question.

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Leia remained behind in the briefing room, watching as Luke hurried off, most likely to go find Mara. She felt the pang of an unfamiliar emotion as she thought of the redheaded woman. Just hours ago Leia had insisted that Luke should be with her, that Luke could possibly even love her. Now, after witnessing Luke lie through his teeth to the leaders of the Rebel Alliance, she couldn't shake the feeling of dread that had settled over her.

Somehow, Leia knew that Luke was lying about what had happened on the mission. Something had happened between Luke and Mara, and for some reason he was covering it up.

Had Mara been the reason behind the ambush? Had Leia's bad feelings from way back on Dantooine been correct after all? If Mara was a spy, how could she have fooled Luke? He was strong in the Force.

But Luke had said that he hadn't been able to sense Zurel's betrayal. Zurel had fooled them all. Perhaps Luke wasn't as strong as Leia thought.

After several minutes Han walked past the briefing room. He immediately backpedaled and stuck his head in the room. Seeing that Leia was alone, he stepped in and took the seat next to her. "Hey, what's going on?"

She shook her head, not looking at him. Their almost-kiss and then near-capture by the Executor had shaken her to the core, and during the entire flight back to Home One she'd stayed locked in her quarters, unable to face him. Leia had sworn to herself after Alderaan was destroyed that she would dedicate her life to defeating the Empire. She couldn't let herself be distracted by something as foolish as romance. She wouldn'tlet herself be distracted. This war was too important to let personal feelings get in the way.

But Han, as ever, was persistent. He placed a warm finger on her chin and turned her face. "What's going on, Leia?"

Leia sighed. Han wouldn't leave until she'd told him something. And perhaps Han would believe her... "I think Luke lied to Command."

Han's eyes widened in shock. "What?"

Okay, perhaps he wouldn't believe her. But Leia knew that she was right. "The story he told Command, it just doesn't make sense. He said the gravity wells just inexplicably went offline. Imperial ships don't have random malfunctions, Han. And why weren't the tractor beams online to bring us all in? Why did they let us go? Nothing about the mission makes sense, Han. And not to mention, Luke wouldn't look at me the entire time he was talking. That's not like him at all."

"Why would Luke lie? That doesn't make sense."

"I don't know, Han! I just can't stop thinking about Dantooine, and what I thought back then…"

"You mean about Mara being a spy?"

Even though it was exactly what Leia felt, she still felt horrible saying it. After all, she had no proof, just a gut feeling. "Yes."

"Didn't Luke vouch for her? Say she was telling the truth?"

"He did. I watched their conversation! He was absolutely convinced of her integrity."

"And now you think he's lying about her?"

"I can't explain it, Han. I just saw the way he looked at her in the hangar, and then he felt wrong during the briefing. I've never felt that way about him before."

Han shook his head incredulously. "I don't believe this, Leia. You're the most logical person in the galaxy, but when it comes to Luke you just can't stop listening to your 'feelings'."

"I knowit doesn't make sense—"

"And it's not just now, Leia. Back on the Falcon you said that the reason you never went out with Luke was because it 'felt' wrong. And back after Dantooine you said you had a 'bad feeling' about Mara. Now you've got another bad feeling about the girl, and think Luke lied about her. If I didn't know better, I'd say that you have a crush on Luke and are jealous of Mara."

"People rely on their feelings all the time!"

"Yeah Leia, but that's the thing. You don't. The only time you focus on your feelings is when it has to do with Luke."

"That's not true at all!"

"Really, Leia? Then why don't you tell me onetime you've allowed your 'feelings' to dictate your actions when you're around me?"

Leia's mouth opened, then closed, as she struggled for a retort to his ridiculous claim. But nothing would come. She blinked rapidly, angry beyond belief that Han would throw this in her face right now. "That's not fair."

"To you, or to me, Leia?"

"You're the one who won't stay!"

"I've been staying!" He jumped up from his chair, pacing back and forth while running a hand through his hair. "I've stayed for over a year! Why isn't that good enough for you?"

"You are way out of line."

"Oh really? I think you're the one out of line, accusing your best friend of lying to Alliance Command. You really think that Luke would endanger the Alliance for a girl? This is Luke we're talking about, for gods' sake!"

Leia shot up from her chair and pointed right in Han's face. "You think this is easy for me? It's not, but I know what I feel, Han! I can't deny it!"

Han nodded sadly. He took her hand in his, caressing it gently. "Unfortunately, Leia, I know exactly what you mean."

He didn't give her a chance to respond before turning around and walking away.

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Mara felt a surge of hope when there was a knock on her door and she felt Luke standing on the other side, but her hope quickly vanished once she sensed his apprehension. Taking a deep breath, she rose from the bed and palmed open the door. He stood in the doorway, glancing around her spartan quarters, but refusing to enter.

She met his gaze, trying to find some comfort in his eyes. There was none. "By the look on your face, I take it you're not here to kiss and make up," Mara said, trying to lighten the mood.

It didn't work. "You need to tell Cracken everything," Luke said. "Intel is going to examine our flight recorders. If he finds out that you lied, you're out of the Squadron—probably the Alliance."

Her eyes closed. Somehow she'd known that she was going to have to confess her deception. It was necessary regardless of what Intel was doing. Being dishonest had gotten her into this mess. Telling the truth was the only option now.

Besides, she had once planned to leave the Rebellion. If Cracken kicked her out, she could always do as she'd once planned and fight the good fight on her own.

Without Luke.

With a heavy sigh, she opened her eyes. "I know. I'll go talk to him right now." She stepped into the hallway and palmed the door closed.

"Wait." Luke's voice stopped her cold. He reached out to touch her arm, then thought better of it and pulled away. "I'll come with you."

She glanced at him as they walked down the hallway toward the lift. "Why?"

His eyes remained straight ahead, but the compassion was there again. "I told you, Mara. I don't abandon my subordinates. Or my friends."

She glanced away, blinking back sudden tears.