Part Nineteen
When I returned to my desk, I found a note saying that Avond Gezelschap was Dutch for Evening companions. I logged back into my computer, and searched for that company name. I found a match in New York. It was an Escort Agency. Bingo. I needed someone to call about their services. Lester, Tank and Bobby walked by my desk, headed toward the break room. Perfect.
"Lester, can you come here for a second. I need your help." I called out. As expected, they all came to find out what was going on.
"Sure Bombshell, what can I do for you?" He answered when arrived at my cubicle.
I wrote down the phone number, and said "You need to find a date. Call this escort agency about getting one." I smiled. I knew he would be offended by me implying he couldn't get a date. I've heard that he is quite the ladies man, but he keeps calling me a freak.
A look of shock crossed his face, before his blank face took over. Tank and Bobby were trying to put theirs in place, but were having trouble. I guess its hard to do while trying to not laughing your ass off.
"I don't have any problems getting a date." Lester growled.
"Sure you do, I've heard that you've never made it to a second date. This way, they will see you again no matter what." I batted my eyes innocently.
By now, several of the other guys were watching also. We had an audience. " If you went out with me you'd know that it would be selfish of me not to share myself." Lester wiggled his eyebrows. Nice try.
I covered a laughing fit with coughing. "Sure, I believe you" I knew my face was red from trying to hold in my laughter, but I couldn't hold it in anymore and began laughing till tears were running down my face. Lester noticed all the guys chuckling, and I began feeling bad for him. Maybe I should have waited to embarrass him when the audience was smaller.
"It's not funny when people laugh at someone's stupid comment about you is it?" I replied completely serious again.
"What are you talking about?" He tried to play stupid.
I narrowed my eyes. "Well you have been calling me a freak; I think you should stop before I really get mad." This wasn't a threat it was a promise.
Lester nodded. I think he was unhappy that all guys heard our little exchange. "I really do need you to call that agency."
"Why me?" Lester asked, suspicious.
"Well, I need someone who sounds nice, and can charm a trained professional out of information. Since Ranger isn't around, you're next on my list."
I could see his ego inflate, so I added "Besides, Lula would get mad if I had Tank call an escort agency." That should help keep his ego in check.
Several of the guys grinned over our exchange. I think Lester understood my motives.
"What do you need from this place? Charming women is one of my god given talents" Lester replied, after puffing out his chest, and smoothing non existent wrinkles from his shirt.
"My gut tells me this is the place making large deposits to several victims accounts. It is an escort agency, and I need to know more about them and their procedures. I have four victims so far, but only one was from New York, where the company is located. Can you pose as a customer and whittle information from them? I don't think they would fall for me calling about needing a female date."
Lester smiled. "Yeah, I'll do it. I may make several calls. It would be less conspicuous that way. If I tried to get all of the information in one go, they may think I'm a cop or something."
I nodded, that made a lot of sense. "Thanks, I appreciate the help. I'm counting on your reputation." I winked at him.
Tank, Lester and Bobby went into the break room. Vince walked over and said "You really shouldn't inflate his ego. The rest of us have to suffer."
"I know, but I felt bad about getting even in front of everyone."
"You shouldn't we all enjoyed that." Vince was smiling as he returned to the Com room.
I rolled my eyes and returned to reviewing the reports that I printed this morning. So far, I have been able to connect almost all of the victims to some form of prostitution or escort work.
When my stomach growled, I realized it was after two and I needed to get lunch. I also needed to retrieve clothes and I should also check in with Connie before I leave town again. Well, there was no way out of it, I needed to run some errands. I went to the break room to talk to Tank, since Ranger was still gone.
I noticed Lester had his head buried in the fridge.
"Hey Bombshell, you need something?" Tank asked. Sometimes their ESP was helpful.
"Yeah, I wanted to get lunch, and I need to take care of a few things before we leave this evening. I promised to keep backup with me. Is someone available now?"
Lester pulled his head out of the fridge. "I'm your man today. You want to get lunch first?"
They must have some schedule planned. My stomach chose this moment to once again voice its desire to be fed. I could see several of the guys lips twitching. I narrowed my eyes and said. "It's after lunch time!"
"Come on" Lester said, wrapping his arm around my shoulder and pulling me to the elevator.
I noticed Bobby smirk as Lester was leading me away. Wonder why? I felt like fried chicken, and Lester said he was ok with that. Maybe they are human after all. I've noticed the Merry Men will eat real food with me. I decided to question Lester about it.
"Is Ranger the only one who doesn't eat real food?"
Lester coughed on his food a bit, then smiled and said "We are human you know. Even Ranger gets cravings. Having a healthy lifestyle doesn't mean you can't have this kind of food. You just shouldn't live on it".
I continued eating and thought back to what Louis said about Ella's goodies. Once, Ranger even mentioned that his body wasn't a temple everyday. Maybe after my life is more stable I'll think about cutting back on comfort food. I shouldn't need as much of it then, right?
After lunch, we swung by the office. Joyce was visiting Vinnie, and I spent a few minutes trying to set the record straight about my arrest. There was one file for me. It was Punky Balog. He was a repeat customer. I crinkled my nose. He was most likely going to be naked and greased up. Last time he used Vaseline, who knows what he will use this time. Maybe Lester's presence will convince him to just come with me. I explained I would be gone for a few days again. Connie promised to hold my files for me. Vinnie came out to bitch, but when Lester cleared his throat he ran back into his office to play barnyard keeper with Joyce.
When we pulled up to Punky's run down house, Lester began checking multiple weapons. When he noticed I wasn't he didn't look happy. "Check your guns." he said giving me a glare.
I smiled. "It'd be hard to since my gun is at my apartment. Plus, Punky's just crazy. He isn't dangerous." Punky opened stepped outside, naked as the day he was born. When he noticed me in the car, he ran back inside. Should I tell Lester he likes to grease himself? Nah, he might decide to just wait in the car since I already said he wasn't dangerous.
"Ok, here is what we will do, I'll take the back and you cover the front with my ankle piece." He pulled out a glock and tried to hand it to me. I just shook my head.
"Not necessary, like I said he isn't dangerous, and he won't run out the back. It's not his thing." I still wasn't going to tell him about the grease part. I didn't want to wrestle him alone.
Lester had a look of utter disbelief. "What do you think we should do?" He finally asked.
"Simple, we'll walk up to his door, enter, because he never locks it, and we'll wrestle the cuffs on him. Try not to hurt him." I shrugged and got out of the SUV and started toward the door. Punky was crazy, but I'd feel bad if he got hurt.
It only took a few seconds, but Lester caught up. It was clear that he didn't approve of my plan, but since he put his weapons away, I'm guessing he has decided to play along.
"What's the layout inside?"
"Standard burg home, but he's upstairs. He'll wait for us to come up to catch him." I pointed to Punky. He was dancing and wiggling from the upstairs bedroom window. When he noticed both of us watching, he turned around and slapped his ass. I had to hold back the vomit. There was nothing attractive about his hairy fat ass. I shivered, better get this over with. Once we were at the stairs, Lester once again tried to use commando stuff.
"I'll take point, you enter right behind me and go to the left when we breach the bedroom door"
I decided to give in on this one. He must not believe that Punky was just waiting for us to wrestle with him, but I knew better. Punky got a kick out of the wrestling. If Lester wanted to be the first in, I was fine with that. Maybe he would scare Punky, but I was seriously doubting it. I nodded my agreement and we climbed the stairs. Lester crept up silently, while I stomped behind him until he glared at me.
When we were outside the closed room where Punky was putting on his show, Lester gave me a finger count down. Man he was serious about this. I wondered how Bobby handled it since they were partners. He didn't seem that intense, come to think of it, he let me take the lead. Maybe he was used to Lester's commando stuff, and went along with him too.
When Lester got to one, he kicked the door wide open, and was promptly slimed with what looked like vegetable oil. Just as we came through the door Punky tossed a bucket of liquid on us. He got both of us with it, but Lester got doused since he was first through the door. I was dripping a bit too since Lester insisted I follow right behind him. Punky cackled with pride at his accomplishment. He began chanting and flapping around.
I took off chasing him and Lester joined in. He was fuming about being covered with oil. Our hand kept slipping when we tried to get a grip on Punky, he was greased with oil and it was even slicker than the Vaseline had been. After about twenty minutes of chasing Punky around the furniture he took off toward another room. I darted to block the stairs, but he simply ran to the next bedroom. Lester followed behind him making grabbing attempts at Punky. When I got there I noticed the room had a linoleum floor. It was very shiny, so I assumed he slicked it up, and Punky had another bucket of something. He was running with it, trying to get a good shot at Lester while evading being captured. I joined in, trying to wrangle the crazy bastard. When Punky slipped on the floor, Lester tackled him. Punky managed to hold onto the bucket and poured more oil over Lester's head before he was flipped onto his back and cuffed. Lester picked up the bucket and threw it across the room.
Lester stood up and swiped at his eyes. He hauled Punky up and began dragging him to the SUV. I yelled for him to wait. Lester stopped and gave me a dark look.
All three of us were covered in oil. I went into Punky's hall closet and retrieved two towels, and a sheet for Punky. I began wiping off as much of the oil as I could and tossed the other towel to Lester. He smiled and began wiping his face and hair off. I felt bad for him, I was used to things like this.
I wrapped Punky up to protect the SUV and we took off to the cop shop. Since Lester was there and his face became very dark, the cops stopped making jokes about our state. We left the cop shop and I went to my apartment to collect more clothes. Lester made the standard sweep before I was allowed to enter. I quickly packed clothes and we drove to Rangeman to clean up.
By the time we got back, it was almost five o'clock. While in the shower, I decided it was a good idea to review those test results before Ranger and I talked tonight. I would go downstairs spend a little more time working on the case and then review those results right after dinner.
When I returned downstairs, I found Ranger waiting sitting at my desk reviewing my notes. He smiled at me, and motioned to the extra chair in my cubicle. He explained that I was right about the company in New York. He had Silvo trace the deposits. I told him about having Lester pose as a customer. He agreed it was a good plan. He said we needed to pass this information to the police. When he asked if I wanted to call Joe, while he called the FBI, I paused.
"Babe, I can pass it on."
I thought about it, and decided I wanted to make the call. If Joe and I were going to remain friends, we'd have to learn to work together some.
"Joe and I agreed to be friends. I'll pass him the information."
Ranger gave my shoulder a squeeze for support, then he left saying he had work to finish up, he would meet me upstairs for dinner. I nodded my agreement.
I took a few deep breaths before I called Joe's cell phone. He answered on the third ring.
"Morelli"
"Hey Joe, it's me."
"Hi ya Cupcake. I heard about you bringing in Balog. " I could tell he was smiling.
"Yeah, crazy bastard tried to grease himself again. One day he'll learn it won't stop me from catching him." I wasn't going to tell how much we chased Punky before we nabbed him. "I have some information to pass along on the case."
"You're actually volunteering information?" Joe replied, slightly shocked.
"Yeah, Joe were friends right?" I replied. We've never really shared before.
"Friends," Joe whispered softly. I felt a stab in the heart, but we both knew it was best this way. "What did you have for me?" Joe said after a pause.
I explained all about the deposits and the company in New York. When Joe asked about our warrant to check the deposits, I simply said, the victims wouldn't mind. Plus I wasn't a police officer. I was getting pissed about him giving me the legal spiel. I knew he isn't above bending the law sometimes too. He must have sensed my building hostility because he apologized. He just doesn't want loop holes to ruin the arrest. I replied that they can just use this as an anonymous tip. Start looking that way and get legal access to the records themselves. I could tell he was amused at my rationalization of breaking laws. He told me he had a friend that worked in New York vice. They worked together a few times on sting operations. He would call to see if he's heard of the company and if he gets anything substantial he would pass it on. We hung up and I felt better. I was sure we could manage to remain friends. Things would be difficult for a while, but we'd make it.
It was five thirty, and I decided to shut down my system. I collected my printed reports. I still hadn't reviewed them, but I may need them to as an escape after the talk with Ranger.
When I arrived upstairs, the apartment was empty. I figured now would be a good time to finally review those results. I opened up my laptop, but realized I had no way to connect online. I knew there was a wireless network in the building but I couldn't connect to it. Ranger would wonder why I wasn't just using an office computer. I didn't want to explain to Ranger why. I also knew that all the office computers were monitored. This stuff was personal, and I didn't want to take a chance someone would see the results.
I finally decided to call the Com room to see if someone could help me. Tank picked up and asked what I needed. When I explained I wanted to check my email on my laptop he paused for a few minutes before walking through connecting me to the network. I thanked Tank, and pulled up my email account. After clearing out all the junk emails about cheap Viagra, porn sites, and international lotteries, I ended up with three new emails. There were two from A. and one from Dieselunmention.gov That was weird, could that be the Diesel?
I decided to start with the results for Joe and I. I opened it up, and after the first paragraph which compared our astrology signs.
You seem to be soul mates, but you're not. Mysterious Pisces is a seething mass of soul, and Libra you're only temporarily romantic on the surface. You're truly uncomfortable with emotions. After a while, the Pisces feels ignored and you just feel exhausted. This is not considered a favorable match. Caution is given, you will drain one another.
Boy, that was spot on. It then began comparing our life desires and goals. When I got to the question about who your ideal partner was, mine said Indiana Jones, while Joe's said he wanted a stay at home wife and mother, basically. We both wanted that steady person, but just in different ways. I wanted someone to take risks and be willing to fly by the seat of our pants with me. It was quite apparent that we were living on two different planets.
I noticed my answers were the opposite for Joe on ninety-five percent of the compatibility. It did point out that we knew each other very well, but we just didn't have a very good overall match. I kept looking for what Joe was talking about with Ranger, but nothing jumped out at me.
After finally deciding to give up, I opened up the results from Ranger and I. This report also started with an Astrological comparison. It said Ranger was a Leo. I looked up the dates for that online, so his actual date of birth was between July 23rd and August 22nd. I mentally filed that away.
Libra loves flirting, and Leos love to play games. Leo tends to be more dramatic and even tempered than Libra. These two stimulate and delight one another. Fortune smiles upon this match. You can easily build a lifelong relationship full of love; it will never be boring.
So this said we could be a good match. My heart fluttered, but my brain said, it still requires Ranger to actually want a relationship.
I've never read any astrology, but this seemed to describe Ranger well. I read further into Leo and love relationships.
Leos are uninhibitedly sexual, romantic, manipulative, loyal, and despite presenting an outward confidence, they desperately want to be loved. They will always want to hold the reigns in a relationship, and can be interfering and controlling. When they do allow someone to win their heart, they want that person around forever. Despite any bad behavior, Leos are so radiant and likeable they get away with everything.
I thought about that, this did describe Ranger very well. I thought about Joe's accusation that I let Ranger get away with everything. I knew there was truth to it, but I could never stay mad at Ranger. I don't think it's just because he is a Leo though. I have a hard time believing that. It's because of the support he consistently gave me. The part about wanting someone around forever, made some of his comments make sense. He has told me that he loves me, but isn't ready for a family life. He also said he wouldn't be anytime soon. The whole my lifestyle comments may be him showing that outward confidence. The parts about him being manipulative, and controlling were right too. On several occasions he has "applied pressure" as he calls it. And Ranger's middle name should be control.
I moved on to the partnership comparison. It also described how well Ranger knew me, but my answers showed Ranger hid himself from me. I didn't need a test to tell me that.
When it talked about what you wanted in a partner, once again it said I was looking for my own "Indiana Jones" adventure to travel with. It said Ranger wanted a good looking partner. That kind of hurt, I knew I wasn't model material, but I'm not bad looking. It also seemed weird that Ranger only wanted someone who looked nice. I wouldn't have guessed him to be so superficial.
Then I noticed a note that the rest of the test was incomparable due to insufficient data. I remembered Annie complaining about Ranger's answers. I wish she would send me the actual answers. I might have been able to get hints from his monosyllable answers.
I felt disappointed. This really didn't give me any clues on how Ranger felt about me. I glanced at the clock and it was ten till six. I closed that message and stared at the message from Dieselunmention.gov . There was a file attached. If it was from Diesel, what could he possibly be sending me? Usually he just popped into my apartment, except I wasn't staying there. I double clicked on the message to open it up. The message read:
Sweetie Pie, I think you need to have a look at these. You'll understand what Annie couldn't.
Diesel
It was from Diesel, I felt a surge of excitement. Could he have possibly sent me Ranger's answers? I quickly felt guilty since Annie wanted them to be private, but Diesel may be right. I quickly opened the attachment. Before my eyes, Ranger's test popped up.
I noticed all the personal information, like Rangers birth date, wasn't included. It just had the answers to the questions the results said were insufficient to compare.
Client: Stephanie Plum Client Number:5465461222
Suitor to compare: Carlos Manoso
Status: Complete - Results Sent to both parties.
Answers given on questionnaire by Suitor: Carlos Manoso
Yes, No, Not sure questions - used to determine how well parties know one another and level of relationship
1. Ranger, do you think Stephanie is attractive? Yes
2. Do you feel you know Stephanie? Yes
3. Does Stephanie know you? Yes
4. Do you know her friends? Yes
5. Have you ever sent her a letter? No
6. Haveyou given a present to her? Yes
7. Has she ever given you a present? Yes
That made me pause, I couldn't remember ever giving Ranger a present. I continued reading. It also made me feel kind of bad.
11. Have you brought her home already? No
12. Have you hugged her already? Yes
13. Do you know where Stephanie lives? Yes
14. Does she know where you live, Ranger? No
The elusive Batcave. I'll probably never know its location.
17. Have you ever had a date with Stephanie? Not Sure
18. Have you asked her to go out with you? Not Sure
Both of those answers confused me. How was he not sure?
20. Have you been alone with Stephanie? Yes
22. Have you kissed her already? Yes
23. Have you danced with her already? No
24. Ranger, do you love her? Yes
I sucked in a breath, but then I remembered he couldn't add a qualifier, these were 'Yes' or 'No' questions.
39. Does she have a boyfriend other than you, Ranger? Yes
40. Would you have sex with Stephanie? No
That answer stopped me cold, he doesn't want to have sex with me? What was this morning then?
Totals: yes: 25 No: 35 Not Sure: 12
Analysis: Suitor knows client well, but hasn't revealed himself beyond some superficial details. Already developed emotional connection, supportive, sexually compatible.
I looked over the analysis. I already knew that, it's nice to have it confirmed though. I moved on to the essay answer questions.
Do you have an eye for detail? Always aware
How loyal are you? Deathly
In a dating relationship that seems to be growing, do you avoid serious discussions about the relationship? no experience
Have you had a long term relationship that lasted over 3 years? Does Babe Count?
Do you like to sleep on things before acting? Sometimes
In a relationship, it's not important for me to share deeply personal information about myself. Mistake One
Do you like the idea of being with just one person for the rest of your life? Babe, Someday
Do you do things your own way? Yes
I am willing to share myself and all my possessions in a relationship? Cars, hard to
Do you like to act on a whim? Never
When I think about a new partner, I have a long list of qualifications that this person MUST have before I am willing to commit myself for the long term. Only accept Babe
Casual sex is okay with me when I'm not in a committed relationship. Always, before Babe
I've had my fun being single and now I'm ready to settle down. Too Dangerous, someday
I think twice before doing something. all scenarios first
My ultimate goal is to get married or have a long term committed relationship with just one person. Babe
In past relationships, what level of attachment were you to the partner(s)? Never Allowed it
The door is always open when Stephanie craves emotional assistance. She hides
No matter how difficult Stephanie can be sometimes, I stick to my relationship. I'm her backup
Our relationship is very comfortable. Not typical
There is no way I could possibly count on Stephanie in times of need. False!
I am very hesitant about my love for my Stephanie. another mistake
I do not find Stephanie attractive at all. - false
Even when we argue or disagree, I never think about leaving Stephanie. No Price
I never receive any emotional support from Stephanie. Only need hers
My future plans always include Stephanie. Never planned before her
Getting into a relationship with Stephanie was one the worst decisions I ever madewant to
I get turned on just by looking at Stephanie. distraction
I don't trust Stephanie 100. False
I can share my most intimate secrets with Stephanie. trained otherwise, trust her
I could easily picture myself ending my relationship with Stephanie. Never!
I am certain of my love for Stephanie. Yes
I am so committed to Stephanie that I wouldn't let anybody or anything comebetween us. Abruzzi
Life without Stephanie is simply inconceivable. See above answer
I do not share extremely personal information about myself with Stephanie. With No one
Stephanie can lean on me 100 in times of need. Always, no price
I could easily be happier with someone else. Only Babe
I will always feel a strong responsibility for Stephanie. Since Diner
I would qualify my relationship with Stephanie as a very romantic one. Define Romantic
My relationship with Stephanie is what I cherish the most in my life. Yes
I do not understand Stephanie at all. Claims I've got ESP
In my heart, I know that I don't care as much about Stephanie as I should. Love my way
When I watch a romantic movie or read a romantic book, I don't think about Stephanie. N/A
Till death do us part describes the relationship with Stephanie very well. Won't get married
Stephanie and I communicate very poorly. Depends
Stephanie is THE ONE I dreamed of. think so
I value Stephanie greatly in my life. mi luz
I think about Stephanie very often during the day. Can't be distracted
I am very confident that Stephanie understands me extremely well. Better than she knows
My relationship with Stephanie is far from ideal. Can't right now
Analysis: Fixated on finding a " Babe", Mentions prices multiple times. Possible explanation, too unready to settle down, sees relationship as a distraction or too costly? Unsuccessful in making contact to personally evaluate this suitor. Insufficient data to provide client with full analysis.
By the time I got to the end, I was feeling so overwhelmed. When I read this section's analysis, I realized Annie must not know Ranger's nickname for me. Otherwise most of his answers would make some sense. He still doesn't say he wants a relationship though.
I began thinking about what I want from a relationship.
Meanwhile in his office…
I had been working on paperwork since I left Steph's desk. I noticed her go upstairs. I'd been thinking about how to explain myself to Steph. I'd read the results of that test while she was out with Lester.
Some things were like a slap in the face. I wasn't sure why the results said there was insufficient data to complete the analysis. I answered every single question. I double checked before submitting my answers while we were in Philly.
I was surprised when I received an email. It was to my private box. . Very few people had that address, only two people in the company even knew it existed. Myself, and Silvo. Not even Tank knew about it. When I was away on a mission, it was procedure that Silvo would check the email for me, and secretly forward any messages to my regular box that would need Tank's attention. I received an email from Dieselunmention.gov. No government agencies had this address. There was a file attached. The subject simply said, "Before you talk to Babe tonight". I had a pretty good idea who sent this, but what it contained, and why he sent it, had me concerned. I only knew Diesel from a distance. We both preferred to keep it that way, until now, apparently.
I finally decided to open the message. The message was short.
For an intelligent observer, you're missing a lot. Maybe this will help clear your view.
I opened up the attachment and I quickly realized it was Stephanie's answers for the compatibility test.
I had a good idea what I would find. Stephanie has hinted at what she wants over the years several times. I had no fucking clue what Diesel thought he knew, so I began reading her answers.
Client: Stephanie PlumClient Number:5465461222
Suitor to compare: Carlos Manoso
Status: Complete - Results Sent to both parties.
Answers given on questionnaire by client: Stephanie Plum
Yes, No, Not sure questions - used to determine how well parties know one another and level of perceived relationship involvement.
1. Stephanie, do you think Carlos is handsome? Yes
Stephanie, do you think Carlos is handsome?2. Does he know you? Yes
5. Stephanie, do you know his parents? No
6. Does Carlos know your parents? Yes
8. Do you know his friends? Not Sure
9. Do you know his last girlfriend? No
10. Has he already sent you a letter? No
11. Has he given a present to you? Yes
12. Have you already been away with Carlos? No
13. Do you know where Carlos lives? No
14. Does he know where you live, Stephanie? Yes
15. Have you already been at his place? No
17. Have you ever had a date with Carlos? No
18. Have you asked him to go out with you? No
19. Have you brought him home already? Not Sure
20. Have you been alone with Carlos? Not Sure
21. Have you hugged him already? Not Sure
22. Have you kissed him already? Not Sure
23. Have you danced with him already? No
25. Are you and Carlos in a relationship? No
26. Does he like football? Not Sure
27. Does he like any special sport? Not Sure
28. Does he smoke? No
29. Is he shy? No
30. Can he be jealous? Not Sure
31. Does he have long hair? Yes
32. Stephanie, would you cry for Carlos? Yes
33. Would you like to see him again? Yes
34. Is Carlos older than you, Stephanie? Yes
38. Does he have blue eyes? No
39. Does he have a girlfriend other than you, Stephanie? Not Sure
40. Would you have sex with Carlos? Would you really, Stephanie? Not Sure
42. Does he mean a lot to you? Yes
43. Stephanie, do you yearn for Carlos? Yes
Totals: yes: 15 No: 50 Not Sure: 12
Analysis: Client knows very few personal details. Already developed emotional connection, supportive elements, sexually attracted to suitor.
.As I went down the list of questions, I noticed how many times Stephanie said 'no'. I would have guessed some of these would be 'yes'. Maybe she doesn't count the times we have gone away on work as 'away'. I noticed that the questions about love were missing from this attachment. He cut out the personal information, and those answers. Her answers to questions twenty, twenty-one, and twenty-two had me completely stumped. How could she possibly not be sure we have kissed, hugged, or been alone in a room?
I continued to the rest of the Questionnaire in hopes it would help me understand more. So far this has been more confusing then helpful.
Do you have an eye for detail? Depends really. Can I tell you what shoes someone is wearing, or if a skip has been in their place lately. Most of the time. But, I am NEVER aware of my surroundings. I've tried, but my mind wanders too much.
How loyal are you? Very, I stick by my friends and will help those I care about without question.
In a dating relationship that seems to be growing, do you avoid serious discussions about the relationship? Guilty, I've never been good with that emotional stuff. I've got season admission to 'Denial land' too.
I have had a long term relationship that lasted over 3 years? Not unless you call whatever me and Ranger or Joe and I long term. I don't think Joe qualifies because we were 'Splitsville' much of the time, and Ranger claims we have no relationship.
Do you like to sleep on things before acting? I wish I could say yes, but usually I just jump right in.
In a relationship, it's not important for me to share deeply personal information about myself. I disagree. Ranger never shares, and it makes me feel like I don't really know him. Most of my questions above were no's because you asked if I knew whatever about Carlos, but I'm not sure I've really met him except a few brief moments. And Ranger doesn't like sharing personal information either.
Well shit. This keeps getting better and better. I should have just deleted this damned email, but I might as well see what else she feels.
Do you like the idea of being with just one person for the rest of your life? Yes, but I'm still working on how I want to be with that person, and who. Hopefully these tests will help with my confusion.
Do you like to do things your own way? Much to the dismay of my family; entertainment of Ranger and his Merry Men
I am willing to share myself and all my possessions in a relationship. Yeah, what little I have. Hopefully my decision to get better at my job will help with that.
Do you like to act on a whim? Way too often, it usually gets me in troubleWhen I think about a new partner, I have a long list of qualifications that this person MUST have before I am willing to commit myself on the long term. Not really, I just want to be accepted the way I am, loved unconditionally, and for that person to share their life with me. It sounds kinda simple to me
.Casual sex is okay with me when I'm not in a committed relationship. I can't do casual sex. I blame it on my catholic upbringing and my mother's lectures about milk. Things would be much simpler if this wasn't the case.
I've had my fun being single and now I'm ready to settle down. I'm definitely not ready to get married, or have children. I can barely take care Rex and I. Much to the dismay of my mother. Notice a trend here? On the few occasions where I have been faced with commitment on that level, it caused hives. I'm just not ready, and I may never be.
Do you think twice before doing something? I wish
My ultimate goal is to get married or have a long term committed relationship with just one person. Long Term commitment, yes, marriage who knows?
In past relationships, my partner(s) were more attached to me than I was to them. Not really. Dickie didn't care about me and I'm not sure the few guys I've dated did either. Ranger would probably call it an unhealthy behavior pattern, and he would be right.
The door is always open when Carlos craves for emotional assistance. Ranger told me no price, emotional or financial. I've only needed to give Carlos support once, when Julie was missing. He's welcome to stop by anytime.
No matter how difficult Carlos can be sometimes, I stick to my relationship. He has hurt me, but his support means the world to me. I just can't tell him that. It's emotional territory. It almost killed me when he was shot. I'll take my pressure applying, food nagging, controlling, mystery man and keep him thank you.
My relationship is very comfortable. Not sure how to explain this. There isn't a comfort level that I know him, but I do trust him 100. I know that when he does answer me it's always the truth, and we help each other. I know I can sleep next to him, and he won't try anything funny. Would you call that comfortable?
There is no way I could possibly count on Carlos in times of need. He is always there for me, no matter what.
I am very hesitant about my love for Carlos. Not in being, I've accepted that since he was shot. But telling him about it is a whole other story. I'm afraid it will scare him away. He always tells me he doesn't want a relationship, so I'm pretty sure telling him I love him would be way beyond that line. Mine doesn't come with qualifiers like his does, and my heart won't let me falsely add one.
I do not find Carlos attractive at all. If only. My life wouldn't be so complicated if he was a toad like Vinnie.
.Even when we argue or disagree, I never think about leaving Carlos. Except when he is trying to lock me in a safe house. Then, I run as fast as I can.
.I never receive any emotional support from Carlos. Sort of, he will comfort me when I'm crying, and always has supported my job choice. But I'm not sure that's what you mean.My future plans always include Carlos. No matter what, I want him in my life forever. Even if it's only as friends.
I don't trust Carlos 100. I trust Ranger 100 with everything but my heart. It won't survive another morning after.
.I can share my most intimate secrets with Carlos I already told him about Zorro
I could easily picture myself ending my relationship with Carlos. Only in my dreams, I'm afraid.
I am certain of my love for Carlos. Not sure, I'm certain about my love for Ranger. If they turn out to be the same man, then yes.I have the utmost faith in the stability of my relationship with Carlos. I know he will always be my backup for work, beyond that I try not to get my hopes up.
Life without Carlos is simply inconceivable. Fucking A.
Carlos can lean on me 100 in times of need. Always, anytime, anything
I am extremely responsive to Carlos's well being and comfort. I try to be.
My relationship with Carlos is what I cherish the most in my life. You can't replace Batman, and who would want to. He supports me, and says he loves me, but I'm not sure what his love means.
I do not understand Carlos at all. Like I said earlier, I'm not sure I know Carlos, I do have a fair understanding of Ranger. I wish I knew more.
.Till death do us part describes the relationship with Carlos very well. Not at all, Till death do us part, would imply marriage or at least a committed relationship. Ranger has called that stupid.I don't view my current relationship as permanent. Friendship and Work Absolutely. Any romantic relationship is my heart playing tricks with my head. I think I misunderstand when he says things to me.Carlos and I communicate very poorly. Well Ranger hardly says anything, but I've slowly learned to figure some things out.I don't make any effort to improve my relationship with Carlos. Goes back to being afraid of pushing too far
Carlos is THE ONE I dreamt of. Sometimes i think so.
I value Carlos greatly in my life. I never want to lose him. I'd miss him too much.
.I am very confident that Carlos understands me extremely well. He knows everything about me, except how much I love him.
My relationship with Carlos is far from ideal. Well what can I say, except for a few minor details like him saying one doesn't exist, it has been one of the healthiest according to you and those books. It is far from a fairy tale, but even I don't believe in that anymore. I meant what I said about only needing the man in my life to be…
The rest of it was cut off. I had to take a few calming breaths. This was definitely eye opening, but I'm not sure Steph is ready for my lifestyle, and I'm not ready to retire yet. It would kill me if something happened to her. Time for us to have a talk.
I heard Ranger drop his keys into the tray. He entered the room wearing his blank face. I noticed Ella was entering behind him. I smiled at her as she left dinner.
"Do you want to talk during dinner? Or after?" Ranger asked.
I thought back to his answers, it made me feel braver. Time to get some of this out in the open. My reprieve was over.