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Sue Clearwater

Chapter 20

I've been lied to, you been cheated
I've been cried to, you been mistreated
I've been watching you, you want action
You need love and I need satisfaction

(Flyleaf)

EPOV

I'm so fucking excited that words are not enough to describe just how fucking excited I am.

My babies are alive…they're alive!

My face pulled up in pain and the excitement disappeared.

Where are they? What the hell had Charlie done with them? Where do I start looking for them?

Bella…do I tell her now or should I find her them first?

I grabbed my hair in my fists and pulled hard as I screamed out loud in frustration. I don't know what to do. I've never felt this powerless before and so lost.

It's been a week, seven long fucking days, since I've made love to Bella and since I've found out that my twins, I mean our twins, are alive.

In a week I couldn't figure anything out and I'm not closer to the truth than I hoped I would be. Plus, Bella hasn't been at work and she's not answering my calls. I don't even blame her; I've said some pretty fucked up shit to her. To say that I've been more than unfair is an understatement.

Time to swallow your fucking pride, Cullen.

I knocked on his office door and when his husky voice called me inside I had to swallow hard. I had to be very desperate to come knocking on his door.

His eyes narrowed when he saw me enter his office.

"What do you want?" he growled.

I stuck my hands in my pockets and clenched my jaw.

"Where is she?" I asked.

He opened his desk drawer and pulled out an envelope. He threw it to me across his table and I picked it up with trembling hands. It was addressed to me, but…

"What's this?" I asked.

"A letter from Bella" he simply answered and lay back in his chair. "I knew you were going to screw her up again." He added with hatred.

"You have no clue what you're talking about" I hissed.

"Oh fuck you, Cullen. You didn't see her a week ago before she left-"

"Wait, she left?" I interrupted him and ignored the way he was talking to me.

"Go read your fucking letter" he lashed out.

"Why did I only receive this now if she left a week ago?" I asked and hated the fact that I was depending on this fucker.

He sighed before he rolled his eyes.

"If I answer your dumb fucking question, will you please leave?" he asked.

"Sure," I smiled deviously.

"Bella made me promise not to give it to you unless you came looking for her. She doesn't want to be a burden to you" he answered.

"Thanks" I grinned and turned around to leave.

"Oh, one more thing Jacob Black" I said as I turned back to him, "You should start remembering who the fuck you're talking to. I'm not one of your dogs…I'm your fucking boss, the one who pays your salary. If you don't like it…quit but I won't tolerate your fucking attitude any longer" I smiled widely before I left his office and slammed the door behind me.

I went back to my office and swallowed hard before I had the fucking guts to open the envelope.

My hands trembled as I folded it open and revealed Bella's real handwriting.

Edward

I don't know where to start…the beginning is as good as any, I guess.

I can't turn the clock back and change what I've done, believe me if that was possible I would have done anything to do it. I have already apologized to you and you wished not to accept…I don't blame you.

Last night was beyond perfect. When you made love to me, I felt whole and I haven't felt that way in almost six years.

Edward, leaving you was the hardest thing I had ever done but I honestly believed that Charlie would do something horrible to you and I wouldn't have been able to live with myself if anything happened to you. I would do anything for you.

I can't explain about the twins because honestly, you don't believe me and you made it pretty clear that you'll never forgive me.

You're probably wondering why I left? I can't live in the same town as you and know that you hate me. I can't work for you and know that you'll never be able to forgive me…I'm sorry I'm just not that strong.

I don't know where I'm going, yet, but as soon as I know I'll send a letter to Jake with only my address on. You won't hear from me again. As from this moment, I'm out of your life. If you find it in your heart to forgive me, I'll be waiting…forever.

I will always love you Edward.

Bella

"Fuck" I yelled out.

Why does she run away every fucking time things gets to hot? I hate this…I hate that I've lost her again. Now I'll have to wait until she's settled, whenever the fuck that is, and get the address from Jacob…and decide if I'm gonna drag her sexy ass back here or am I gonna leave her and go on with my life.

Yeah, as if! You've tried that six years ago and ever since…no luck!

I need to find my twins. I need to know if they're okay and if they have a good home. If they've been treated well over the years. I want to know what they look like and if they're healthy…

I left the office early, since it's a madhouse without Bella there. I've been answering phones and I had to type my own documents. My head is spinning…

I was busy making a green salad to go with my lasagna when my doorbell rang. I wiped my hands while I walked to the front door.

I gasped when I opened the door and found Sue Clearwater standing in front of me.

"Hello Edward" she smiled. Wow, she looks like shit. She's not the full of life Sue I remembered.

"Sue? Come on in" I gasped again and pulled her into my house.

I led her to the living room and she took a seat on the couch. She played nervously with the hem of her shirt and I cleared my throat before I took a seat across from her.

"Where were you?" I asked.

"Seattle" she whispered.

"Are you okay? You look kind of pale" I asked in concern.

"Edward, I need to talk to you" she almost squealed.

"About?" I frowned.

"Five years ago, Charlie came to me with your twins. He gave them to me and told me to leave. I begged him to not do this to Bella but he wouldn't listen. He told me that if I wouldn't take the twins, he would take them to someone else, a stranger, and no one will ever see them again. I couldn't let that happen…my plan was to find you and tell Bella everything but Charlie threatened to take them away if Bella or you found out-"

"You have my children?" I asked. Sue nodded her head.

"You never said anything to Bella. You just left without a word and you had them all this time? How could you do that to her?" I asked as rage started to fill my body.

"Charlie would have taken them away and then there was no chance of ever finding them. I had to protect them against that monster" she started crying.

"Sue, you kept this from us for five years. How could you do this? How could you live with yourself after Bella believed that her twins had died five years ago? She trusted you…fuck, she thought of you as her mother. I mean, how the fuck could you do this to us?" I shouted and my body started shaking from the rage that filled my body.

Sue fell onto her knees and sobbed loudly but there was a part of me that couldn't care less. She kept our children from us for five years and made Bella believe that they were dead. How the fuck did she live with herself knowing that Bella was somewhere grieving the death of her twins?

"I'm so sorry Edward but I was so scared" she sobbed.

"I can't believe you did this to Bella…I expected it of Charlie but not of you" I lashed out.

"I thought that if they lived with me that Bella would at least have a chance of seeing them one day" she cried.

"You should have told her Sue. It doesn't matter that Charlie threatened you; you could have saved her so much pain" I sighed as I felt tears roll down my cheeks. I've known for a week that I was the father of twins…and when I've first learned that they were dead, the pain was unbearable. I can't imagine what Bella went through the past five years but I know that she never deserved any of the horrible things Charlie has done to her. One thing I'm fucking certain about…I won't let Bella go through any more hurt. I'm going to drag her sexy fucking ass back here and I'm going to make her the happiest woman alive…for as long as I live. I won't cause her any more hurt. She has had enough…

"I have to see Bella and explain. Where is she?" Sue asked through hiccoughed breaths.

"Your guess is as good as mine…she left a week ago and I have no idea where she is. Where is my children Sue?" I asked with exhaustion. I felt so tired; tired of fighting to live, tired of fighting for love, tired of fighting to keep my shit together…I just want to live and love and be happy.

"They are in Seattle. They want to meet you" she sighed.

"They do?" I asked astounded.

"Of course they do. I've told them about you and Bella and they've wanted to meet you for a very long time" she said.

"You told them about Bella and me?" I asked again.

"Of course Edward. They know you and Bella are their parents…I never took that role. Would you like to see them?" she asked.

"Yes" I answered immediately. "I want to see them" I said with a pounding heart. I can't even begin to explain the excitement I'm feeling right now. My children are alive and they've been living with Sue…though I don't agree with her choices not to tell Bella, I'm so relieved that Charlie at least gave them to someone we knew and not some stranger. Plus, Sue told them about Bella and I and they want to meet us.

My heart went into overdrive thinking about my children. I was going to meet them tomorrow and I'm so excited.

I wish Bella could share this moment with me but I have no fucking idea where she is. I haven't heard from her…and I completely take the blame on that one. I have treated her like shit the last time I saw her. I was just so hurt, finding out that I was a father and then I had to find out that they died. I was angry because she lied to me about that…I don't give a shit what her excuses was, she should have told me.

I want to bring my children home. I want to bring my ex-future-wife home. I want to spend the rest of my life with Bella, raising our twins and maybe future children.

So, Bella left? Do you blame her?

I'm sorry I took so long to update but I have some good news. I have finished this story and I'm posting every chapter right now. Please review each chapter after you've read!

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