A/N

Thank you all for your lovely responses.

So many people asked me about Bella's thoughts… how she felt about Edward when she saw him…

So here is a small glimpse….

I left the nursing home with a heavy heart again. Today, for some reason, I felt more alone than usual. Nothing I did made Grams smile. It was hard enough going there and her never seeming to know who I was at all, yet she would talk about my Grandpa, who had been dead for 19 years like he had just gone out for milk and would be back any moment.

She even had flashes of memory of my mom, but me?

Nothing.

But usually I could get a smile or a positive reaction with something I did, but today was a total fail. It probably didn't help that I was exhausted. It had been a long day yesterday with a shift at the diner and the bookstore as well as cleaning one of the offices and then after a quick nap, one of the bars when they closed after last call. Between the dreaded walk to the bar and the horrid mess waiting inside that I always encountered on Fridays I was already worn out by 6am when I trudged back to my room for another quick nap before I started the trek across town to see Grams.

As I paused today at the corner waiting for a green light I noticed the Opening soon sign was down in the corner window of the shop opposite me and a new brightly lit sign that read Simply Coffee had replaced it. After thinking about the fact that I had another office and two bars to clean tonight I decided a cup of coffee was in order. Hopefully the sign was indicative of the menu and I could in fact just get a cup of coffee.

Without the fancy lingo and even fancier price.

Taking a deep breath I crossed the road and swallowed down the nerves that always seemed to be waiting just below the surface, especially when walking into something new and unknown. As I walked through the door way the first thing that caught my attention was the rich aromatic smell of my favourite beverage in the world. Delicious, pungent, caffeine laced coffee. The second was the sound of a hearty chuckle coming from someone behind the counter. A tall, dark haired guy was talking with a woman working with him – a fellow barista I assumed, and she had obviously just said something which amused him. As I approached the counter they both looked up, and for a minute he seemed to freeze. Then he smiled and asked for my order. I think. I was so shocked at his vivid warm sky blue eyes looking at me I wasn't really sure what he said but since he seemed to be waiting for an answer I blurted out, "Umm, Large bold double cream please?" Which really sounded more like a question than an order.

"Sure thing," he smiled again and handed me my coffee-"That'll be easy to remember – same as I like it."

I swallowed, handed his partner the money, mumbled my thanks and then forced myself to turn around and go sit at a table that was off to the right.

After I sat down I tried to glance casually his way only to find him staring right at me. I felt myself flush and wondered what he was looking at. I knew I was not at my best these days, but really I was doing the best I could. I felt the irrational tears start to fill my eyes and I lowered my face to take a sip of the coffee and surreptitiously wipe away the tears before they fell down my cheeks. Why on earth I would care what the tall barista standing behind the counter thought of me I had no idea. Trying to distract myself from the strange thoughts I settled back in my seat while I sipped the truly delicious coffee and glanced around at the understated but warm décor. Well placed tables with comfy chairs around them, some nice artwork on the walls and some great music playing in the background made a lovely place to sit and have coffee and the warm atmosphere brought a small smile to my lips. I tried to relax and enjoy my few moments of peace before I would have to start the trip back to the other end of town and some more long hours of work.

I found myself stealing glances from under my lashes at the tall barista with the brilliantly beautiful eyes and trying to watch him without being caught. He was so friendly with all the customers and seemed to have a smile and a cheerful word for everyone while he was either taking their order or walking around tidying tables.

Oh, his smile.

It lit up his entire face,turning him from good looking to breathtaking, and I found myself wishing I could sit and bask in its warmth. Obviously he was someone who enjoyed his work. Internally I sighed, wishing I had that option. I was so busy trying to work to keep up with my responsibilities even though I hated everything I had to do, that there was no time to try and address it and that was not going to change any time soon.

Suddenly, I noticed him hurrying towards the entrance and watched with great interest to see him open the door for an older woman, whose arms were loaded with packages. He helped her to a table and brought her over a coffee and I heard her insist he sit with her for a few moments, saying that she was so pleased to see that a young man who had such lovely manners actually existed these days. I watched in awe as he threw his head back in laughter and sat with her for a short time chatting. Then he got up and bent down and kissed her downy cheek softly before going back behind the counter. My heart clutched at the sight. I wondered what it would feel like to feel his lips on my cheek? I couldn't remember the last time someone had reached out and touched me in a gentle, caring way. I could feel myself tearing up again and knew I had to leave before I lost it completely.

Taking the last sip I stood up and put my coat back on and saw once again that he was looking at me. Something told me it was not simply him being impolite but another reason. What that could be I wasn't sure. He seemed to start forward as if coming in my direction and then suddenly stopped, but perhaps that was simply me wanting something like that to happen. Realizing what I was thinking I quickly tossed my cup into the recycle bin and left. I slowly made my way to the bus stop and stood waiting for my ride to arrive, my thoughts going five hundred miles a minute.

I didn't know him. I couldn't know him. How could I feel a draw like this to a total stranger? How could I feel like his eyes were not just looking at me but actually seeing me? Nobody saw me anymore. I was invisible. I meant nothing to anyone anymore. And even if... and it was a HUGE if, he was looking at me with anything other than pity I had nothing to give him. Not now, and certainly not in my unknown future.

And yet with all those thoughts flowing around my head making it ache worse than it already was, one thought was clearer and stronger than any of the others. I wanted to go back and see him again. Just sit in the same room where he was. Somehow I felt... comforted and strengthened just by that thought.

Just at the thought that he was there.

Could I? Could I allow myself that at least? With everything I had to give up could I add some small item of comfort? A lovely cup of coffee and a few minutes just to be close to… something… something I couldn't explain? And yet wanted? A couple dollars a week was not much for most people but there were certainly times I didn't have it. But if I did… I knew this was what I wanted to use it for. I had nothing else to look forward to or find any contentment in. Why I felt I would find that contentment within the walls of a place called Simply Coffee I had no idea, but for the first time in a long while I felt something other than sadness. I felt a quiet sense of peace with my decision. And then I had another thought.

I wonder if I will ever know his name?

Poor Bella… so sad and thinking it would never change… if she only knew…

Till next time… be safe, and thank you.