Putting Our Heads Together

Quirinus, Nagini, and Voldemort wake up after their first unicorn blood drinking bout. Written for the prompt "A place to rest my head".

"Oh. My. God." The words slipped from me in blurred and bleary agony. Firewhisky had absolutely nothing on unicorn blood when it came to hangovers. Perhaps this was why drinking unicorn blood was said to be cursed.

Nagini blinked open a single eye, shuddered in sympathy, and closed it.

I slid a finger against her scales. She utterly failed to move. Touch me again and lose the finger, Quirinus.

Hearing her thoughts articulated took me by surprise, though I faintly recalled her doing so right before we collectively passed out. Interesting side effect. Apologies, Nagini.

She didn't bother to respond.

The Dark Lord, however, did. Always using that head of yours, Quirinus.

I blinked. Are you feeling this misery too, my Lord?

We do share a body. Speaking of, turn your head.

A jolt ran through me as I realized I was lying flat on my back, which left his face mashed into the pillow. Historically, this situation didn't end well for me. I abruptly turned my head to the right with an amount of effort that was not to be believed. My most sincere and humble apologies, my Lord.

I felt him close his eyes against the sudden light. Consider yourself duly chastised. We have more important matters to deal with.

My insides attempted a half-hearted roil of trepidation. We do?

This hangover is insupportable. Thoughts for dealing with it?

Keeping my eyes firmly closed, I began pondering. If it were something that caused chains of physical reactions like a poison, a bezoar would do. But this feels more like...like...I sifted through gossamer memories haphazardly.

What are we looking for? He twirled deft fingers through my memories as I fought to stay conscious against the sudden upheaval in my hippocampus.

Withdrawal, I managed.

With a magician's grace, he plucked the muggle text I had once read about cocaine withdrawal.

I sighed with relief. Dopamine depletion, that was it. We need something that stimulates dopamine absorption. A Grand Pepperup Potion would likely do it, but the Elixir to Induce Euphoria would be better.

There was a slight pause. I'm coming to appreciate your knowledge of muggle studies.

I live to serve, my Lord.

So you do, my boy.

And I believe Pomfrey keeps a supply of Grand Pepperup handy. Should be easy enough to obtain some, and brew the Euphoria elixir for next time.

Excellent. Make it so.

Certainly. Just as soon as I can stand upright.

Now, Quirinus.

My Lord, you know what state we're in.

And it won't get any better lying here.

Actually, it might. The dopamine absorption may pick back up soon.

Might and may aren't good enough. We're on borrowed time as it is. Get up or I'll have to inspire you to get up.

I got up and began stumbling towards the hospital wing.

Nagini's smug thoughts followed me out the door. She didn't have to move a single coil.

That's right - laugh it up, snake.

I live to serve, boy.